I started taking up Ballet when I was about six years old. Despite how fleeting it was, I can still vividly recall being in school changing into my pink leotard and shoes my mom had bought me. I also remember doing a few shape and hand-movement coordination that my class had done.

Throughout most of my life, being around my family during gatherings would create space for me to dance and connect with my community while being hyped up by their cheering and smiling faces. Around my early-late adolescent years, I felt as if I was the life of the party around friends and others my age.

I was up to date on all the latest moves and bold enough to share it during dance-offs. I often would imagine myself dancing in music videos. More specifically, dancing with one of my favorite performers as I would constantly watch and mirror every move of hers.

I was no wallflower, which surprised others when they saw me move! However, at some point, all of the partying faded away. There were even no more family gatherings as we once had.

That brings me to now seeing that roughly eight years later, I would be here seriously pursuing my passion as a dancer and sharing the gift to minister light into this world. I could feel deeply within my spirit that I would to some capacity.

At 28 years old, last year in 2023, I recall being out for a meditative walk. I was a bit frustrated with where I was while living with family and not being off yet to where I initially planned to be (moving to California).

However, during that very walk, I felt intuitively led toward a Christian Center right around the corner. Everything within my spirit and surroundings allured me (the birds loudly calling in the dead of winter near the location).

The next day was a Sunday. I attended service and a few more after that. By surprise, one day I was able to see them live on stage. I was then in awe to learn that their creative arts department had a dance team.

For a brief moment, I had let fear get the best of me by telling myself “I’ll join in somewhere else here… I’ll join the poetry small group”. Undeniably, dance is a part of what makes me passionate about the flow of music and the freedom to move.

On the contrary, my previous encounter with stepping into this space did not go well!!! I was in my second semester at Western Michigan University when I had taken contemporary dance and music exploration as electives that I was excited to take.

Unfortunately, depression (which I thought would subside after winter break) was staring at me right in the face. Showing up for classes was a struggle to keep up on my main courses, let alone electives. While I was sitting in my dorm room contemplating what I would do. I had decided to drop dance.

I felt so embarrassed on my last day being there. While gliding across the floor in groups, my focus had my mind and body moving opposite from the crowd, causing me to stand out like a sore thumb.

Now, I’ve come to realize the question “If you had a second chance at this, to do anything, would you take it?” I said YES to taking a real chance this time around! I asked whomever I could to inquire about joining their CAD Department. Eventually, I was sitting in on my 1st official practice.

My 1st audition for a part felt like a stretch emotionally. I felt my spirit needing to fully “break out.” However, I still felt some resistance and energy to work through.

I was selected for the part as my potential was louder than the resistance.
Ironically, being back to living with relatives longer than I had planned had become where I have been planted to grow, be challenged to reach, and develop!!!

One year later, at age 29, I am still dancing and developing with my team at Love Life in every way. I now understand the love and support the universe has in store for me this time. It carries me while living out my fullest potential! Also, there are people who genuinely hold me accountable with the honesty and nurturing criticism needed.

I’ve danced quite a few collaborative solos. I even helped to choreograph a number as well. It seems that some callings somehow seem to call back when a time is more convenient. As for me, it’s a dial of grace called destiny.

To the one I come home to
Each and every time
When it seems like no one else is there
I find myself with you again

I won’t pretend that my love is perfect
I’ve abandoned, I’ve betrayed
But you continue to accept my flaws
And for this I love you so

Because anyone can forget and move on
But to forgive is the strongest power there is
I find relief in your strength
And comfort in your trust

It’s funny the ways in which we accept only the love we think we deserve
Although it would be so nice to write about the beauty of self love
The truth is that the self can be hard to love
And I’ll admit, I’m still trying to learn just how to

It’s the external influence that surrounds you
And having your voice silenced
By those who are in a position to lead you
That makes this love so hard sometimes

It’s the generational trauma
The demoralizing behavior passed down
Through a world of dysregulation
And incredible misguidance

It’s true that love is learned
In the early years of life
But when no good examples exist
How does one navigate with the heart?

The young mind absorbs like a sponge
The screaming, the fighting, and everything in between
This is what becomes home
So all my life, I’ve sought for chaos around every turn

My favorite thing about you is that you learned how to love
After being brought up in an environment deprived of it
Either because your body needed it
Or the world needed to see it

Twenty seven years I’ve gotten to know you
I’ve seen you flourish and fail
I’ve seen laughter and tears
The crazy thing about growth is it never ends

So I’ll continue to learn just who you are
And what you need in this reality
To understand the depths of your heart
I realize is a constant expression

I love you for giving me space to cry
The way the men in my life never would
During times when my emotions needed to flow
Like rain needs to fall

I love you for staying with me while I tripped
Over the ones who couldn’t see my worth
I spent years trying to find “the one”
When it was you the whole time

I love you for being proud
Even though the voices told you you weren’t good enough
You found a way to break the cycle
Of generational shame

I love you for your curiosity
The same curiosity I used to call stupid
I’m sorry for calling you stupid
When you were just trying to learn

I love the way that you crave connection
And the way that you find it
To dive headfirst with nothing but a handful of vulnerability
Is a hard thing to do in this world

You explore far beyond your own skin
A superficial life will not do
Rather, you spin circles in the gravity of your own soul
Searching far and wide for meaning untold

I look forward to continuing this love
You are my body, my soul, my everything in between
You are the one I come home to
And the one I call self

February 2, 2024

Self-Reflection

To be honest, I haven’t seen myself like this before… Embodying who I really am at core.

Valuing depth in connections… While being open for correction, my mind & heart is on one accord.

I am emotionally secured, more matured and all of that for sure.

Loving OUT LOUD, as my intentions are pure. “Lub- Dup” a sound that beats enough to end a war!

Feeling through moving waters, as it balances my reflection against the sun’s glow.

Unshakeable Ms. Mountain on a hill. Aware

that resting here is not always comfortable as I’d hope for.

Recently, I’ve discovered a string of things that tries to somehow still hold me back… so, I ask how deep does my layers lie? Is it really intact?

Home, going within the house to unpack…Alarming? I must have forgotten the code being too tough of a shell to crack. No one is perfect, I’m steadily learning to embrace that.

I was built from love, while ego tries to misplace it.

Splitting while the foundation crumbles, I had to see it through to heal and learn from my mistakes before molding something other.

I choose to look at the scars to face what I see within.

That’s both the beautiful and ugly which once knocked me down, just to get back up again because I love me. Acting with love. . . that takes courage!!! “Me-time” of self care to well nourish

I always state that “Love is maintenance” believing that I am more than worthy of it. The pain of discipline sometimes would take me under

From set backs, memories and dysfunction. Carrying me is the love that started from somewhere ethereal, way before my Grandmother’s comfort.

I rediscovered, no wonder who I am when I did encounter God! Open invitation, accepting the fact that I can love my self like this, without conceit… Really? Wow!!!

It’s still no excuse for me to be naïve while re-learning who I am, from whom I once known

myself to be… that’s something!

I am both Zen & Lit. Sharpened, yet humbled with a bit of bumble… I’m ready to rumble, if I am called to sting… solidly vibrates just as a bell rings

Gracefully open for arriving at my own timing. It’s so nice to finally be here!

The woman that the child within in me could not wait to meet. The poetic, romantic… the dancer who swiftly sways, right and left feet.

As we harmonize with love, I give thanks in advance while loving even more of the lady I am becoming…Continue on love because you’re on to something!

Best,

-Self

A passion so deep, it indulges in the most.
Infatuated with the lust life brings and the thoughts it hosts.
A passion so deep, it indulges in the most.
Head over heels in this rat race they boast.
A passion so deep, it indulges in the most.
Unconditional acceptance from the highs and lows.
Leave no room for judgment, whether bitter or love.
A toast for the unconditional love.
A passion so deep, it indulged in the most.
Body positivity now so mighty and haute.
Self love is key to staying afloat.
A passion so deep, let it indulge in your truth.
Reveal your potential and see your way through.
For these are the things I see within me, do you see them in you?

You’re perfect just the way you are.
Such a cliche that has made it thus far.
Who would I be without all the stigmas?
A sexy, fierce chick without bodies to count.
A million dollar female not asking for handouts.
Names of a breeder b**** or rag for bodily fluids will be silenced.
A deeper meaning to a survivor embedded.
Laying down my armor, replaced by unity.
Revolution is near.
Remove all the anxiety when I take the stage.
Perhaps, I am eager for the outcome they say.
Postpartum will no longer haunt me, the demons in my head no longer taunt me.
Full of life with only angels guiding me, rather than fighting the noise from the negativities trying to down me.
Still always picking the yang.
To boot as a woman, we’re the yin, so a little bird sang.
Titles given by man would be thrown out.
In this ideal world full of bliss.
Every worry taken care of.
A village for my littles.
No more irritability that cripples.
Don’t you change a thing, beautiful celestial being.
Fix your mindset to attract these things.
So the little bird sings.
Remember, you’re perfect just the way you are.
A cliche that has made it thus far.

Three steps forward, 10 steps back.
Why does it always seem that commodities I lack?
I strap that pack to my body and fix my crown.
For leaving a place of comfort never comes sound.
Leaping into a world so unknown, praying on an outcome better than my own.
Some think it’s trivial, yet a place so brutal can never be.
I opened up to social media, ready for attacks for being me.
Sharing my truth, my humor and more.
Haters, scams and fans galore!
Persecuted for sharing my peace, adored for being just me.
The fright this put into me seemed quite silly.
However, the attacks I’ve received in the past makes them a plea.
An outcast in high school, but loved it.
I connected with the nerds, the goths, the misfits you see.
10 steps forward, three steps back.
Your slant is now what I lack.
For leaving a place of comfort to follow your path will always be bound.

A spirit bound within flesh.
I have become one in mesh.
A celestial being with utmost respect.
Shedding my light on the world as I bled and bled.
Gaining arrow after arrow in my back.
Never a helping hand do I lack.
Wishing a world full of peace and serenity.
Something that might not come unexacting for the ones who stepped on me.
Spreading awareness with love and light.
The utmost respect should be given to I.
I, a goddess in the flesh.
A divine human seeking success.
Not the success you see in material things.
Yet, success you see in making a change.
A change this world is desperate to gain.
I fly so high, up, up to away with my wings.
A human who should be so evil or unkind.
I wish nothing but the best for you and I.
Our souls know the ones not meant for our path.
Trusting the universe as I grasp my weapons.
Weapons gifted to me by ancestors in heaven.
Choosing wisely who’s given advantage.
For the utmost respect to me, as the battle I chose can heal he, she, we, within me.

There is no doubt that one of my favorite motivational quotes is “Be the change that you wish you see.” Herstory told, they would like to repeat it…

Like how everyday I choose to defy the odds of struggle. Abundantly filled to navigate new heights… An unshakable force of humble.

Someday they’d say “Yeah, she did talk about making change…” but I hope that they actually can see it!!!

I’d love to tell them how I did it… and that everything in life is intentionally done for a reason. I let my guards down, enough standing on defense.

I challenged the flaws, to know whatever is underneath it. Impacting the masses is the goal that I’m reaching.

Bigger than me… My life is bigger than me!!!

I am devotedly aiming towards doing the best things. Learning that all of the better things in life are not free.

I am actively working my light within my art, family, and community.

I’ve sacrificed it all, but this mission to help others involved truly helping myself to start. It shows more than something when freedom calls!

I have all the answers that I need divinely a dial away. All I have to do is let them in and say “Thank you for leading the way!”

It’s important for the picture, pouring into myself. Mixed emotional colors create art that’s good for one’s health.

Developed within trusting the process… I had no clue I’d see it like this.
In order to get clearer, I push past the resistance.

I am a leader! I choose to be the one to reach back to uplift & help other people out!!

As I reminisced about 5 cents ago, all of it did not add up… but, merely relying on money just was not enough.

I am purposeful.

I embrace this with gladness, that the shift that I vibrate while in this world is peace beyond the madness.

Dear thriving woman,

I am beyond grateful that this message has found you well!!! I knew deeply within my heart that one day you would get to read this. I would like to start off by saying THANK GOD for allowing you to still be here to experience the life that you have co-created for yourself. Valencia, I am so proud of you! How do those roses smell for you now that you finally get to accept them in full bloom? How does the fresh fruit taste from all of those seeds that you have planted?! Ha!

Undoubtedly, you have grown tremendously over these past years. After all of the adversity, triumph’s and dedication towards advancing along your path… you have come a long way. Who knew that after attempting suicide as a teen, being homeless on a few occasions (but further on learning that as long as you had family or friends to stay with, technically their home WAS your home as well), being unemployed (while still somehow being supported), and overcoming depression that it would all lead to these situations helping to shape you into the woman that I am reading this today… I’ll tell you who… You did! “God did!!!” (As the saying goes).

As you know, God did not give you anything that you could not handle. You are so very brave to press forward, bettering your circumstances. That was only just part of the fuel that has driven you to reach your fullest potential. Even as a young girl you have always felt that there was much more to life than what was being presented within your surroundings. You are one of your inner child’s biggest dreams come true! It is a blessing to have truly rediscovered your authentic self and boldly walking in that light. I thank you for making peace with your past and choosing to live without any regrets.

Look at all that you have accomplished!!! Although your upbringing has had its waves of dysfunction and unhealthy patterns that you’ve had to unlearn, you have still managed to create a beautiful family unit of your own. I recall your desire for you all to hold a healthy, supportive and nurturing connection… That part was extremely important because you knew that it was possible for you to experience! Plus, you get to do meaningful/ purposeful work as a multi-talented creative, advocate for holistic health, healing tools/services, philanthropist and motivational speaker…landing a few of your very own major events alongside your amazing team. Another thing to mention is to have traveled around the world and connected with God’s blessings in various forms (culture, land, food, etc.) It is a blessing to experience having a positively abundant life doing all the things that lights you up, it helps to light the world up!

The positive impact that you are making all over the world is beyond remarkable. It only took you one leap and many brave steps for you to know and trust that the divine was (and still very much is) backing you EVERY STEP of the way. Sheesh… girl you knew that the universe was gonna bless you with far more than you could have even imagined, so don’t act surprised!!! You are whole, healthy, successful, loving/loved unconditionally, a leader, creative, a healer, a woman of divine faith, a loving wife, mother, and mentor. All while being genuinely joyfull while being so, I may add. This is exactly what it means to embrace the journey and trusting the process towards reaching the destination.

My humble words of encouragement going forward: Never stop dreaming, (those dreams are your heart’s desires in rare form, only because it’s up to YOU to truly see them) aim high!!! Your potential is still very much unlimited. I love you!!!

2023 , please be good to me
For all the years add up to thee

May I gain more wisdom to pass around
After all, through actions we’re bound

2023, my goals come easy
More peace within my head
No more friends who wish negativity
For a gentle soul better leads unfret

Distinguished at heart I plan to explore me
Dive deep within, 2023

These goals seem witless to some, but to others a dream
After all, loving souls haven’t come easy to me

Always growing my proclivity in hopes it can start a domino affect

2023, open up my opportunities without fear of failure
Bring “genuinity” together with adventure

Improving skills embedded deep within me
Open them up and set the belle free
Creating a movement of kindness from one country to me

All this starting with an unadorned act placed unto she
As she Witnessed too much hate at such a young age

May these goals present success, family growth, new dynamics along with change
For which we all deserve to a conditional extent

2023, my growth is placed on a pedestal so high

So I ask for the strength to carry them forward
Surrounding myself with those who yearn to eclipse themselves
So that the ones I love dearly equally excel
The new companions we meet can all tag along
For this new found growth must be passed on

2023, above all I seek the connection to nature so pure and so deep
For anyone questioning me is eager to seek
The answer to this world we created
All this and more from a number so highly elated
As a beginning of your own efforts not being demented
Manifestation heeds peace, would you not say?
I beg you, 2023, don’t keep these things at bay

2023, please be good to me
For all the years add up to thee

“New year, new me… new goals set for 2023!” The 1st goal is checked by the fact that I have enough air within my lungs to breathe.

I am here! I make peace with the fact that 2023 is already looking up for me.

I’ve already had my vision board mapped out and told myself that “all of 2023, i’m gonna live comfortably.” I deserve it!

New goals set for 2023 and they all align with my purpose.

Did so much healing over the past few years that I’ve laid a solid foundation that’s much deeper than what lies beneath the surface.

The shedding of my tears, old habits, and fears has allowed me to align with a laser sharp focus

as it reveals all of my inner truths… I confidently speak up for those who feel hopeless.

Although, prior to now it felt like no one else could even hear me. Maybe because I didn’t fully yet hear myself… so to speak.

New goals set for 2023, I am a leader amongst my own destiny…

Mastering all that I continuously co-create. Learning more about holistic medicines to heal my ancestral lineage for goodness sake!

I’ll continue meditating and going within…

and promise to myself to continue flowing… not only just with the pen.
Faith and alignment is all that I’ll really need

because for the new goals set… the divine will make sure that I’ll continue having everything that I could ever desire, want, and need!

Living fully within each moment, I’ll approach each day gratefully.

I will continue to prioritize peace and balance. Allowing myself to grow and expand from more of life’s daily lessons.

Heavy, yet gentle on the self-care towards showing up as the highest version of myself.

Having no specific expectations… by letting it all unfold for me naturally. Praying that everything turns out even better than I could imagine it to be!

I set out to intentionally pour into my passions of inspiring others, creating, writing and dancing joyfully.

Also, remind myself to playfully explore many new exciting festivities. I’ll indulge in the various wonders of very tasteful vegan recipes.

Counting my blessings as I know that not everything in life is guaranteed.

I value to equally nurture and grow along with my loved ones. I am also open to new, yet healthy/ lasting connections because I’ve detached from most of the old ones.

Love (unconditionally), soft yet bitterly sweet, that’s the fluent language that I sacredly speak.

Claiming it all! Signed “Aligned by Seven: 2023”

Hold up! Just one last thing…

I promise myself to maximize my unlimited potential… So, here it is. 2023, the journey begins!