My Dearest Muse,

You have been my love since the beginning of my time. You put your stamp on some of the earliest memories in my mind. Your presence in my life calms my soul and nourishes my existence. You always know what I need to hear, speaking the words that vibe with my inner thoughts as you take me places far away from here. You were my first Love. The only Love that has been with me since way back when. I could sit and listen to you all day as my soul gravitates, clinging to your every word. Your words have taught me about love and life while guiding me spiritually, as I’ve used you to call on God in times of need or give thanks for the many blessings I’ve received.

Back in the day, I would lie in bed listening to you all night, falling asleep with you by my side. By day, I would sit on the floor surrounded by your presence, mimicking your words as we reminisced, and I dreamed, blown away by the effect you had on me. I could dance to your words, and when life got tough, I could cry to your words. You have been with me through every turn in my life. I am so very thankful to have you as my vice. 

As the years have passed, my love for you has grown. When I wake up in the morning, I turn to you. Throughout my day, I think of you. Before I lay down at night, I am reminded of you. The sound of your words echoes in my head. What would my life be without you? This is something I never intend to find out. The silence would be too much to bear. Together, we have created the soundtrack of my life. How could I live without you, the thing that keeps me going? The place where I go to escape and find solace is with you. You are always there for me, close to my heart and embedded in my soul. Unforgettable you are. I love all versions of you, my love, my muse, my music.

Always and forever,

Me

“To My One & Only” I truly thank G☀️D for you daily. If I’m honest at this stage of our relationship it’s definitely multiple times throughout my day into my night. You are magnificent. You are immaculate. You are who I aspire to be. Words can not truly describe how you make me feel, but you bring about a sense of peace and joy. I am capable of achieving anything I put my mind to. With you I will never lose, I either win or learn. You display servitude daily. It wasn’t until I wrote this letter that I even tried to imagine life without you. Complete darkness!

Bright, vibrant, beautiful, bold, brutal, loving, caring, warm, present, intentional, nurturing, honest, forgiving, safe & secure are some of the qualities and characteristics I love about you! You know every part of me, inside out. Not once have you ever judged or treated me differently. You continuously shower me with mercy and amazing grace! No one knows my secrets except you and
G☀️D! Your loyalty to G☀️D allows you to show up for me effortlessly. You are faithful in all of your ways. You are a gift and it is because of you I have favor.

The distractions of the world often interrupts our connection, reminding me that I am not worthy of you. Often times my mind gets polluted and distorts my vision. It’s then I am blinded, tricked and bamboozled into sabotaging true love. With you I have hope for the future! I love how you sit high and look low, shining on the just and the unjust. You continue to bless others no matter how much they curse you. No matter how many times I stray away, you’re always there to welcome me back with open arms. Your love is unconditional! Even when my family and friends turn their backs on me, you are there to comfort me. Thank you for being my light in darkness. Shadows do not exist without you!

Moving forward into the future I plan to be intentional about spending time with you. I love you and you complete me. Abundance is my birthright, and to gain access to my inheritance I must acknowledge you above me. I recognize I have 2 ears, 2 eyes and a mouth for a reason. I must listen when you speak. Silence is golden and your voice is so fulfilling and sweet! It is with you HUMANS can truly just BE!

You are the portal that connects the heavens and the earth. I yearn to be a reflection. Heavens tears and your radiant smile produces rainbows, reminding us that there is a G☀️D greater than us all. We are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and because of you we will forever be connected to the creator.

You are the all seeing eye. You are the original compass. You are the bright and morning star! You are the light of the world! You are infinite and I call you S☀️N because you shine like one.

My body weight presses down upon you,
Pushing you under the water,
But you do not protest.
You do not fight back,
Although movement consumes you,
As you rock to and fro.
Seconds pass,
Turning into minutes.
Still, you move,
As I sit atop you,
Readying myself for our aqueous pas de deux,
While nearby witnesses idle by,
Paying little heed to our commingling.
I have no regrets
Being seen with you,
Mostly by water fowl near shore.
Oh, my kayak,
How I love riding the water
On top of your rotomolded plastic form.
My love for you cannot be kept secret,
Thanks to your neon lime green color
That is visible from space.
It eliminates any chance of a clandestine paddle,
When we are as one on the water.
You take such care of me,
Bravely protecting my bottom,
As you scratch and ding yours
On submerged rocks and branches.
You warn me with a metal placard
Riveted to your green skin
Of a 225 lb. max weight capacity.
Is that because of concern
That the extra pounds I carry
May result in health-related issues for me,
Like diabetes and high cholesterol?
Or is that a federally mandated requirement
For water craft to display?
I hope the former
And blush at your thoughtfulness.
When I first saw you,
Your charms were impossible to resist,
Especially your ability
To fit into my SUV
With the seats folded flat,
Saving me the cost of a roof carrier.
Always thinking of me,
Aren’t you?
You remain constantly on my mind,
As you are visible from our family room window,
Sitting idly under our pergola
That was once used for entertaining,
But now is repurposed for kayak storage,
Much to my wife’s displeasure.
What she doesn’t realize is that seeing you
Inspires me to slide my ample posterior
Into your inviting lime hull
For a workout on the river
To shed pounds like you shed water.
Well, perhaps not pounds but ounces.
Okay, would you believe one ounce,
If I paddle really hard?
That maximum weight capacity may be reached
Someday in the future.
But thanks to you, my kayak,
Not today.
I dip my paddle
And steal away across the water
With my love.

You tempt me, beckoning with sugared silk,
allure a golden promise whispered on the tongue.

I cannot resist.

Eyes drift closed,
chin rising as I inhale the intoxicating scent of you—
slowly, deliberately.
Exhale,
desire declared with silent hunger.

Teeth graze my bottom lip,
anticipation building
until your pliable stiffness yields,
enters my mouth in a welcoming embrace,
igniting on contact.
And then the explosion—symphony of maple
melting as I swirl my tongue,
exploring every nuanced velvet crumb,
every crystalline grain of bliss
in a slow cadence of flavor—sweet oblivion.
Each nibble, an encore—
from first taste to lingering ecstasy,
you fill me.

I love books but the Only One Thing
Is the Love story of God, that to me brings:
Peace and Joy, Contentment to the full-
Like carrying a baby on a baby stroll.

That’s One Thing, that is more than a thing
Always blows my mind, with exciting dreams.
Though not regular dreams as when one sleeps,
Their the dreams of imagination-
That eternal relations keep.

This library daily I seem to walk into
Holding life barely by the Word of Truth.
This thing is a box I’m locked inside,
Never can I get out, It is the place I hide.

But there is always light on the inside,
That from the top it clearly shines.
When I look below I see nothing at all,
For the only place to go, is upward climbing the wall.

Neither can you see in the dark
But the speed of light ran, and has me marked.
Inside this box that happens to be a Book;
Instruction number one is just to simply look.

Then I learn, listen, and live-
No words of my own for you to give.
And no not at all am I ashamed of this,
Nothing belongs to me, I’m lucky to exist.

Though may I hear no luck in vocabulary
I’ll only fear God, but not a fear that’s scary.
Rather a love-try of mutual respect,
One that walks with me and never neglects.

A new life, a new mourn,
In a hidden concealed heart…
But always the same Christ,
Teaching my foolishness to be smart.

I just cannot get out of the Bible,
Shoe-tying knots… For a long while.
Walking into this Cannon of Truth,
Is yes and amen to all good that’s due.

Neer’ would I ever want to be released,
That for me is not a good thing.
I’ll stay chained, a slave of this Book,
Where I know Jesus saves every direction that I look 🙂

2-23-25

Dear Unsealed,
I love the smell of the ocean.
I love to feel my toes in the sand.
It is a potion
Of a notion
As I walk upon this mountainous land
Of sand and sea and valleys
And alleys
Of sandcastles built upon the sand
Of our America land.
I cried today,
Along my paths highway
Of illusions
Of delusions
Of lies spewing from control freaks
Of tweakers and tweaks,
Of I just want to sit on the shore
Forevermore.
Look at the ocean.
Look at the sky,
Of notions
And potions.
I pray for peace to calm the turmoil
Of dictators and liars in high places,
That creates turmoil and hate and boils,
Of ugliness in all spaces.
I carve my peace of calm
On the beach,
To reach prayers of songs
To the universe to bring peace
As the calm after the storm
As the fisher in the boat of life,
Not of strife.
I sit on the shore,
Forevermore.
To smell the salty air, and the cries of the seagulls
As they fly up above
My head.
I see the ocean.
I see the beach,
Of I love the smell of the ocean
I love to feel my toes in the sand.
It is a potion,
Of a notion
As I walk upon this mountainous land
Of sand and sea and valleys
And alleys
Of sandcastles built upon the sand
Of our America land.
I cried today,
Along my paths highway
Of illusions
Of delusions
and potions.
As peace flows through my body
As I sit on the shore forevermore
To embrace the ocean
As a potion.
I love you my retreat
Away from mean peeps.
A retreat from hate,
Debate,
To relate,
We are all a part of earth,
Before birth and after birth
To death of all.
I pray we all learn,
The ocean way,
To yearn,
For love and truth.
I love you, ocean of dreams,
And schemes to cherish your embrace
Of romance
From birth
Tio my ashes
Are spread in the love
Forevermore
Upon the shore.

PEACE AND LOVE CONQUERS EVIL!

Dear Fear,

I immediately regret using a cordial word like ‘dear’ in my greeting. I have zero friendly feelings toward you. You freeze us in our tracks. Fear, you are a giant speed bump on the roads we take to self-actualization. You keep us from getting close enough to the people who need us, as well as those who can help us overcome you.

Choosing one fear to write about in an uncertain world full of trepidation is difficult. I reject some of the bigger and darker fears that people have. Death doesn’t scare me. I can’t summon up fear for a one-time event that is inevitable for us all. It will happen. It’s all of humanity’s destiny. And once it happens, it’s possible we’re not even going to know or care. It’ll be over, and our book of life, at least in this realm, will be closed.

Fear of failure is a popular choice of many, but I’ve never feared failure. Perhaps I’ve fallen short so many times that I’ve become inured to failing. I’ve always believed that if you’re not failing, you’re not trying enough. So, come at me, failure, and I will give you a great big hug.

Way back in 1974, Jim Stafford had a Billboard-charting song titled “Spiders and Snakes” in which Stafford sings of his dislike of the title creatures. They perfectly describe you, my fear. I don’t literally mean creepy, crawly spiders and slithering snakes, although I will admit that coming across a hairy spider in the basement or a snake ready to nip at my ankles in the garden are not my favorite experiences. Maybe if I lived in Australia, where most living creatures are ready, willing, and able to kill humans without any provocation, actual spiders and snakes may scare me. But I live in the USA’s Midwest. Most spiders and snakes I encounter are benign and harmless, except for the figurative ones.

I’m referring to “spiders” like:
“It’s going to take too long.”
“I’m not creative enough to come up with ideas.”
“I don’t have the skills to do that.”

And to “snakes” like:
“I just don’t have the time.”
“I’ve never tried that before.”
“I don’t know how.”

I fear falling prey to those “spiders and snakes” far more than a hairy spider crawling toward me while I’m sitting in the bathroom or turning over a garden rock to find a snake. I much prefer a small bite that will surely heal (again, I’m in the US Midwest and not Australia where almost every living creature is poisonous) to the crippling power of the metaphorical “spiders and snakes” that can stop our lives dead in our tracks with fear. I always try to be kind to animals, but I have no qualms about squishing my symbolic spiders in a tissue of determination or whacking my figurative snakes with a club of resolve. I hope PETA will cut me some slack and look the other way as I dispatch the imaginary creatures representing my actual fears.

And so, I have eschewed fears of death, failure, shark attacks, tornadoes, IRS audits, time share contracts, and buying life insurance, and I have settled on the ever-present metaphorical spiders and snakes in my life as my greatest fear. I can’t carry a tune to save my life, but you can always count on me to sing along unabashedly with Jim Stafford, proclaiming to the world that we both don’t like spiders and snakes.

With great disregard,

88% Style Score

Your perky aroma pops me out of bed
Preventing stabby headaches in my head

I get to work each day on time
Before the late bell dares to chime

And with your spunky caffeine kick
I rarely, if ever, call in sick

On days my nerves are worn and frail
You’re there to comfort without fail

Hot, roasted beans all warm and toasty
Reminding me I love you the mosty

My biggest fear is all in my mind.
Thinking of all the things that should’ve been left behind.
The things that I just can’t seem to let go of.

The things that have set up shop in my mind.
Keeping me from absolute freedom,
and making me feel as though I’m stuck in time.

The would haves.
The should haves.
The could haves.

The times I didn’t speak my mind,
to address things that crossed the line.
The boundaries that were not developed,
and the ones I was afraid to use for my protection.

Silently taught to keep quiet and let things be.
Shhh…. don’t rock the boat or create waves in the sea.
The sea being life.
Just do what’s right and sweep those feelings aside.
Everything is going to be alright.

Not being taught to acknowledge, embrace, and accept my emotions.
Keeping those things tucked away,
as I put on a brave face and faced the day.
Just focus on the things that give you an important place in this world.
Not understanding that my feelings are the most important things in my world.

Unresolved issues cause emotional trauma.
Spreading like wildfire,
affecting all facades of your life and causing unnecessary drama.

My biggest fear is being trapped in this state.
Realizing that unresolved issues might be part of my fate.
But, like any other challenge in my life,
I’ll look this fear in the face and give myself grace.
Conquering my fear will mean letting go of the things I can’t control
as I honor the things that free my mind and feed my soul.

(100% Style Score)

Dear Fear,

You creep in shadows, whispering low, a voice warning me not to show the love I hold, the truth I bear, instead to seek healing in God’s prayer.

You paint the world in black and white, warning me to hide and not to fight. You say the way I love’s not right. That I’m standing in darkness instead of light.

But Fear, I see your twisted game; you thrive on silence and grow from shame. You feed on doubt and plant despair, yet I refuse to live there.

For love is love, and I will be free. No hate can steal my soul from me. I won’t shrink back or hide in disguise. Rather, I’ll meet the world with open eyes.

So go ahead, lurk and loom, for I’ll fill the dark with light and I’ll bloom. I will face your storm with strength and a love so fiercely bold and true that not even you can break through.

Goodbye, Fear, you’ve lost today. I choose to love. I choose to stay.

Sincerely,

Me.
Style Score: 100

Dear Unsealers:

I start each day with something brewing. Literally.

I rip open the bag of tea and pour the hot water in my cup. As the cup steeps, the aromas reach my nose. Scents of Jasmine, Bergamot and Peppermint take hold. I open the box of tea and see so many options, with bags having a specific color assigned to them. It’s like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, right down to the black and gold embossing on the Harney and Son’s box.

But the cup of tea matters to me more than just simply having something warm in my body on wintry days.

In each cup of tea that I brew, I feel a sense of peace. I do not get started on the litany of reschedule case requests until I finish my cup of tea at my desk. Otherwise, it’s the sign to everyone that I’m taking a moment for myself.

The cup of tea, as is, is enough for me. I don’t add milk, cream or sugar to it. I don’t make it sweet, except for a drop or two of honey.

Having tea as a part of my day goes back a long way.

From my college days, when I would pop into the Starbucks around the corner from John Jay College’s campus to order a cup before class began. To my first taste of my favorite type of tea, Jasmine Green during afternoon tea at the Athenaeum Hotel in London in October 2012. At my previous job, I would go to markets and bodegas to bring in multiple boxes of tea to have a range of options over the course of the work week. This ritual lasted for my eight years of employment there.

The cup of tea has made a comeback in recent days. From spending my birthday last December being with pots of tea at the Warren Street Hotel. To the boxes of tea from Palais des Thés that my friend Umara gifted me for my birthday and Christmas gifts. The Advent Calendar had a bag of tea for every day that led up to Christmas Eve. The green and gold box added a dose of holiday spirit to my desk each morning.

I’m so grateful that I decided to re-introduce this ritual to my morning routine.

I need to find my moments of peace when I can in this hectic world that we live in. Having a cup of tea in the morning helps toward that goal.

I think about my fears when I’m crocheting,
Why is my anxiety here? It is dismaying!
With each breathe my heart beats faster,
What do I do – force fake laughter?
My brain shoots thoughts at lightning speed,
It grows louder and louder. Silence is a need.
I hate to dwell on my losses, but
Here is where my depression and anxiety crosses.
With the hook I stab the yarn,
On my heart, pain carves a scarred tarn.
I don’t know why this moment is full of stress;
I close my eyes and I pray to be blessed.
I no longer want to feel like my crochet hook,
Stuck in a web of knots, lost on what way I should’ve took.
So instead I clear my mind,
There’s a lot up here; so it might take some time.
I throw away my financial worries,
While my self doubt scurries.
I will no longer be prisoner to my thoughts,
I untangle a mind full of knots.
I rebuke every negative thought that come my way,
Because my Lord’s presence is here to stay.
I lift my eyes to the mountains,
Through faith I will possess an endless fountain.
I continue to weave my yarn,
Calmer now, because peace has been borne.

Style Score: 100%

Same principle as-Dear John.
You are not leaving, So-I will!
You tell me so much-untrue,
So I am divorcing and leaving you!
Not married to you, nor addictions few-
You won’t go, won’t budge, So-I will move!

Though I have no idea how,
My learns of Jesus-He makes free,
Giving me rest… And He will best teach me,
How to defeat your homemade nest of Glee.
The one you built for years on end,
A false comfort-false feeling friend…
You was/is/am not who I thought-
You’re lying surviving, dread to me brought.

You can have me no more!
No reason any longer to fear myself,
For I don’t control me anymore -Jesus does!
Under His umbrella of Grace-
I’m found and completely safe!

Fear… whence comest thou?
I know not-though we are parting ways…
No evil to fear for the rest of my days!
No lies beside me-Jesus keeps them away,
Though around the bend you may sit at Bay-
I see thee far off and turn to you deaf ear,
You seek but don’t find… Your voice I cannot hear!

No words to you I have of my own,
Because Jesus true-builds me a new home!
You cannot have my kids, you cannot have my wife-
For you are dead my old cheating friend…
Because Jesus has ended your life!

I’ve already known fear,
Now it’s time to know God-
And fear cannot win because…

2 Timothy 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, of love, and of a sound of mind.

… This promised fact I trust and love!!!

The excuses are old, it is time to be bold,
as the new year makes its debut.

Wipe away your tears, celebrate with cheers,
today we start our goals anew.

Every step of the way, you are going to be okay,
if you truly believe it to be.

Never stop striving, one day you will be thriving,
And the whole world will flock to see.

Today marks the beginning, don’t dream about the ending,
Because the magic is in the journey.

Yesterday is over, the due date is in October,
This book will be my testimony.

There were troubling times, and halted strides,
That came between my goals and I.

When my name is stamped, my success can set up camp,
And I can burn my mark in the sky.

Encouragement is needed, to prevent becoming defeated,
I pray all self-doubt away.

New opportunities close, your writing exposed,
If you keep the depression at bay.

Try every single day, like it’s your last card to play,
And the provisions will be plenty.

You already know, that once you go,
You are going to be the rawest in the city.

Fire photography, stunning cinematography,
Beyond the horizon your success looms.

I believe in you, damn who thinks it’s true,
Your business WILL boom.

Visions will turn reality, all due to your originality,
My dreams will make my name a brand.

End of twenty-twenty five, my dreams will be alive,
And it will be time to expand.