My Dearest Muse,

You have been my love since the beginning of my time. You put your stamp on some of the earliest memories in my mind. Your presence in my life calms my soul and nourishes my existence. You always know what I need to hear, speaking the words that vibe with my inner thoughts as you take me places far away from here. You were my first Love. The only Love that has been with me since way back when. I could sit and listen to you all day as my soul gravitates, clinging to your every word. Your words have taught me about love and life while guiding me spiritually, as I’ve used you to call on God in times of need or give thanks for the many blessings I’ve received.

Back in the day, I would lie in bed listening to you all night, falling asleep with you by my side. By day, I would sit on the floor surrounded by your presence, mimicking your words as we reminisced, and I dreamed, blown away by the effect you had on me. I could dance to your words, and when life got tough, I could cry to your words. You have been with me through every turn in my life. I am so very thankful to have you as my vice. 

As the years have passed, my love for you has grown. When I wake up in the morning, I turn to you. Throughout my day, I think of you. Before I lay down at night, I am reminded of you. The sound of your words echoes in my head. What would my life be without you? This is something I never intend to find out. The silence would be too much to bear. Together, we have created the soundtrack of my life. How could I live without you, the thing that keeps me going? The place where I go to escape and find solace is with you. You are always there for me, close to my heart and embedded in my soul. Unforgettable you are. I love all versions of you, my love, my muse, my music.

Always and forever,

Me

My biggest fear is all in my mind.
Thinking of all the things that should’ve been left behind.
The things that I just can’t seem to let go of.

The things that have set up shop in my mind.
Keeping me from absolute freedom,
and making me feel as though I’m stuck in time.

The would haves.
The should haves.
The could haves.

The times I didn’t speak my mind,
to address things that crossed the line.
The boundaries that were not developed,
and the ones I was afraid to use for my protection.

Silently taught to keep quiet and let things be.
Shhh…. don’t rock the boat or create waves in the sea.
The sea being life.
Just do what’s right and sweep those feelings aside.
Everything is going to be alright.

Not being taught to acknowledge, embrace, and accept my emotions.
Keeping those things tucked away,
as I put on a brave face and faced the day.
Just focus on the things that give you an important place in this world.
Not understanding that my feelings are the most important things in my world.

Unresolved issues cause emotional trauma.
Spreading like wildfire,
affecting all facades of your life and causing unnecessary drama.

My biggest fear is being trapped in this state.
Realizing that unresolved issues might be part of my fate.
But, like any other challenge in my life,
I’ll look this fear in the face and give myself grace.
Conquering my fear will mean letting go of the things I can’t control
as I honor the things that free my mind and feed my soul.

(100% Style Score)

Hello my Dear,
There are some things I have been wanting to say.
Things that I need to express from my heart
about the hopes and dreams,
and the other big things you had planned for me from the start.
Thank you.

The tough times
The rough times
The enough times
All those times that you stood alongside,
helping me to gather myself from the inside.
Deep down where no one could see or hear
not wanting to face what even I feared.
Thank you.

This is about giving thanks.
Thanks to you, My Dear.
Thank you for helping me to grow over 5 decades and 5 years.
Again, I say thank you.

From a shy little girl to a woman with a voice,
using my words to express how I really feel,
while learning to set boundaries has been the biggest deal.
Thank you.

Understanding that I am worthy to be in someone’s space and feel safe.
I am worthy of another’s time.
Their prime time, not to be mistaken for their spare time.
Thank you.

Showing that I have a heart of gold,
and that I care deeply for those I hold close.
While also knowing that if love and friendship are not reciprocated,
it is okay for me to let go as a way of protecting my core,
the most valuable thing I have….that would be me of course.
Letting go does not mean not loving or caring anymore,
it’s just a way of preserving one’s soul.
Thank you.

I Love hard and I work hard.
I have accomplished many things because of you,
with the understanding that we are never through.
Highly educated while making it my life’s work to educate others.
An entrepreneur and a published author,
these are just a few things that I’ve brought to fruition because of you.
So I will continue to Thank you.

I could say Thank You a million times over and it would never be enough.
Without you believing in me this road would be tough.
So I salute you My Dear for showing me how to be free
and opening my eyes to see.
It is you My Dear who is me.
Thank you.

Living your authentic self is being true to who thou art
True to your core and true to your heart
True to the real you that dwells deep within
Not to the opinions of others that try to seep in
For you are the one living THIS life
Claim it, own it, and let it take flight

Place high value on the qualities that make you special
Standing tall in your truth as you own what is yours is your vessel
Embrace the differences that set you apart from others
Apologize not to those who act as your judges

Meeting the expectations of others is par for the course
Why not stand for what you truly believe and use your voice
Genuine, real, certified, and true
All are qualities that authenticate you

Portray your authentic self
It should be as natural as taking a breath
You weren’t meant to fit in a box constructed by others
You are you
A one-of-a-kind and like no other

More Love, less strife
More confidence, less fight
The ability to just let things be.
Enabling my mind to stay clear and free.
Understanding that I don’t have to be the one doing everything.
Letting those that want to do, do their thing.
It’s not my call or opinions that matter,
I just want to embrace the differences of others in this chapter.

Gifted with discernment,
I am able to see what is not good for me.
Whether it be people or things,
or the situations they may bring.
If it doesn’t sit right in my soul
or leaves me questioning “What is the goal?”,
I’ve learned to walk away
and go on about my merry and peaceful day.

I hold no grudges and have no contempt.
From anxiety and hurt feelings, I just want to be exempt.
Besides, this chapter of life has no time for that part,
only room for good vibes and a kind, loving heart.

In this chapter, some will be left behind.
This particular loss can be hard to define,
but in due time the weight of what once was will fade,
and the sense of unsettlement will soon be outweighed.
Through growth and learning the value of contentment,
all things meant for me suddenly become clear,
as those that are not will eventually disappear.

In this chapter of my story, I now understand
that life doesn’t always have to have a plan.
I play the cards from the hand that life has dealt me.
Like the champion that I am,
I let my strategy be my ability to foresee.
I Live my life how I want to live it,
accepting all things good and rebuking resentment.
Heavily armed with the lessons that I’ve learned,
I realized that living in the here and now is what this chapter is about
So I will be ready and prepared for my next chapter…no doubt.

As I look back upon this one particular summer day,
I had no idea how much my world would be turned upside down.
Not only upside down but completely around.
I’m talking a total one-eighty.
Everything I did in life would now have a different purpose.
I would no longer be able to accept any form of deterrence.
Every aspect of my life changed for the better on this one particular summer day.

I had no idea I would be looking in the mirror for the rest of my life.
Seeing my many moods, flaws, insecurities, and even my anxieties.
The perseverance, the strength, and the superpowers that I didn’t even know I had.
There they were looking right back at me
through the lens of this small and beautiful mirror image of myself.
All of this took place in a single event, on one particular summer day.

Who knew that over time, and for an eternity,
I would have the strength to put my all into this beautiful image in front of me.
Exalting my courage to lead and protect with unconditional love, strength, and determination.
From the depths of my soul, and with every beat of my heart,
I would forever be connected to another being.
All because of this miracle that mirrors my image, and this one particular summer day.

As time moved on, me and my mirror image would grow together,
teaching each other, learning from each other,
and being that person to one another.
Separate beings, with an inseparable bond.
Trying to figure out life as we lean on each other’s love and support.

Our journey started on this one particular summer day,
and oh what a journey it has been.
One I would not trade for the world.
Imagine the power of one being’s ability to change the life of another.
To make it better and make it sweeter.
I am in awe of the things that God can do,
with just one gift given to you, on one particular summer day.

This wonderful being was given to me, yes me, to be my everything.
The thing that I would live and die for.
This being is my daughter, my heart and soul, my mirror image.
Given to me 10 minutes before that particular summer day would come to an official end.
She is anointed with Love and grace.
My heart stays full with the thought of it all.
As this experience continues to rock my world in amazing ways,
I will forever be grateful for that one beautiful, particular summer day.

This day starts with me opening my eyes to give thanks.
Thanks to My King, My God, for soothing my soul.
Allowing me to wake up in absolute peace and feel whole.
I feel as though I’m lying in the clouds,
emotionally safe and secure as I embrace this moment.
This is my state of euphoria, and I emphatically own it.
My mind methodically plans for what lies ahead
as the lyrics to melodic tunes play in my head.
My perfect day has just begun.

The routine of my day has never been so smooth
I patiently take my time constructing my look to fit my mood
From head to toe…
My glow, my fit, my flow.
I look in the mirror, pleased with what I see,
comfortable in my skin and free to be me.

As I head out into the world and follow my script
I long for the taste of some java, retail therapy, and a favorite flick
Why? These are the makings of me.
The smile on my face and the confidence in my walk.
I could live out this day many times over.
No stress, no strife, no roadblocks ahead.
My perfect day is far from over.

This day is just what I’ve made it
with the blessings I’ve been given.
The strength to get up and live my life.
The mindset to understand that life is what I make it.
The love that I have for myself to do the things that make me happy.
Most of all, knowing that every day is a gift
and not to be taken lightly.

As the evening rolls in and slows down my perfect day,
I pull up a seat at my favorite speakeasy without dismay.
There to indulge, I partake in a lovely, herbaceous and tart,
yet ever-so-sweet libation,
as I wait for this day to deliver its final culmination.
Not sad to see it go by any means,
because I know there will be many more days like this to be seen.
Perfect in every way.
Just me living, loving, and enjoying my fulfilling day.

While reminiscing about this day, I sit back and say…
There was nothing particularly special.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Just a day of me doing me.
I suppose that’s what makes it so perfect,
it reminds me to just be.
A perfect day, for a perfect me.

Hey girl, I see you.
I’ve been watching you since you came into this world.
Born to a single mother, to live the life of an only child.
You were unexpected but loved and spoiled nonetheless.
The only grandchild for almost a decade.
Truly loved, adored, and blessed.
I saw you then, and I see you now.

Always had a big heart, and a people pleaser.
An enormous love for your family, and a sensitive side like no other.
Filled with joy and ambition, yet also filled with fear and anxiety.
Shy about life, but willing to get out there and dance for the attention.
You embody dual personalities, a Gemini to your core.
A unique way of seeing more than one side,
as you explore the things that life has in store.
I saw you then, and I see you now.

I didn’t know it then, but I know it now.
I am in love with you.
You set the standard for the very essence of who I am today.
You have always been a dreamer, dreaming of a path full of love and success.
A dream you have reached and surpassed.
Creative and smart, always figuring out ways to get things accomplished
and always on a quest for knowledge.
As you transformed into a young woman and began to explore the world,
I watched and waited as you slowly unfurled.
If the world only knew your past experiences and all that you have been through,
they would never understand how you stand so beautifully poised, but you do,
and this is what I love most about you.
I saw you then, and I see you now.

You’re a survivor girl!
Abuse, abandonment, and a dysfunctional family curse are scars you will always wear
and burdens that you will always bear.
They are the medals you wear to showcase your ability to overcome
and proof that you will not, and can not, succumb.
The way you have fought through such adversities is only a testament to your strength and your willingness not to give in to the overwhelming thoughts deep within.
Now that you are in the fullness of life, as a woman who has grown,
I see even more compassion within you.
Your loving and adoring spirit has a vibe all its own.
I saw you then, and I see you now.

So look at you now,
as you stand in your truth and you live out loud.
Take a look in the mirror and see what I see.
A woman who loves to laugh and is not afraid to be vulnerable.
A woman who uses music to tell her story and soothe her soul.
I see you clearer than I’ve ever seen you before.
It’s in the way you care for others,
putting their needs before yours.
Making sure that your nearest and dearest loved ones
feel all the love that you have for them.
Sometimes they feel burdened by your love,
but honestly, you know no other way.
With much-given respect,
you go hard for them in every aspect.
Continuously praying that they understand your intentions
and know that your love for them is without conditions.

A wife, a mother, a friend, and most of all a woman of God.
Always praying for strength and peace.
You are truly the best thing in MY life.
I love you to my core.
I just want you to know that you are irreplaceable
and I will continue to see the beauty within as no one else will.
From the very beginning,
I saw you then, and I see you now.

Love,
Me

Photo by Bru-No from Pixabay