Peace was a dream
When we wake
Its pain and chaos

Peace was a goal
While we hope
It often feels lost

Peace was when I’m sleeping
As I float
While deep breathing

Peace was a sigh
That we let out
After we cry

Peace was a lie
As I ran
Tried to hide

Peace was at least
Was a fictional
Treasure piece

Peace so I thought
Was attainable
If a long shot

But then..

Peace found me
And held me
Oh so tight

Peace made love
Fire wishes
It burned so bright

Peace is pure passion
Pure hearted
And loving of fun

Peace is what
I hope you feel
Cause you are warmer than the sun

My peace is air hockey
The hotel pool
The Halal Guys near school

You deserve
The peace that
Makes your sweet soul feel full

Because of you
I now know peace
Is more than just a dream

So thank you
For existing
My peanut butter Queen

From life I experience the sweetest of taste when I’m immersed in my inner space;
That place where comfort once didn’t seem to exist because of the conditioning experienced during childhood;
That place we were told to stay away from because we would stand out too much;
That place where what was felt was all that was true;
The heart being the mightiest of all the mighty, crown fully erect upon its head;
Eyes are no good here;
Besides, is it not feeling that allows one to navigate and tread the darkness;
What I once felt in this void of a space was discomfort, no will to apply any will to;
Through trials and tribulations I’ve gotten quite accustomed to its boundlessness;
BEHOLD;
I now hold this torch given to me by the force known as life;
Its flame composed of truth and awareness;
I have now found what makes life LIFE;
And now the void is no longer empty;
Bejeweled beith its halls and corridors;
Its floors and ceilings laden with the rays of the rainbow;
I have taken my seat upon the throne, accompanying the heart with the crown

We first saw her picture in a book,
In the days before everything was online.
She was a face among many
On one of a hundred plus pages in a kid’s catalog.
Not a book for kids to enjoy,
Filled with enticing toys and games.
But a catalog of kids,
Children that needed a home,
And we casually leafed through it like a store’s advertisement.
I don’t recall why we stopped on her picture,
But we did and made plans to meet her.
We felt the stares when we arrived at her foster home.
We were the minority in her neighborhood.
Her foster home was busy
With children running throughout,
Seemingly too many for the house to contain without bursting.
We planned to take her away for the day,
And she willingly joined a family of strangers
For her first trip to the grand museum on the city’s lakeshore.
I doubt she appreciated many of the exhibits,
But she loved the chicken nuggets after
As she fell asleep after her big outing.
We brought her back to her foster home,
And we agreed to discuss a second visit
To determine if she was a good fit for our family.
At the time, it seemed a practical plan.
Looking back, knowing what we know now,
It seems ludicrous that there was ever any doubt.
We said our good-byes and headed out,
But the noise made us look back.
We saw her inside the house,
Pounding on the door and crying.
She was almost two
And didn’t yet speak,
But she sure could scream.
And scream she did,
At us … for us … to take her with us.
There was nothing we could do
Except continue home
And call the DCFS office.
The next visit was quickly planned.
It would be our last.
We would bring her with us
To her new forever home.
The next time she left was when
She went off to college,
A vulnerable teen.
No longer the child without hair
Who walked with a limp and didn’t speak,
But still vulnerable.
She would return to us as a strong adult,
A beautiful dancer and learned scholar.
But most importantly to us,
She returned home as our daughter
Whom we love dearly.

I wish I could send a letter,
to myself in the past.
I’d tell myself to let them go,
those women just won’t last.
My heart was set on nonsense,
I had no want to stay.
But I am so thankful,
that it didn’t stay that way.
Eventually I found the one,
that my heart calls home.
But I wasted so much time,
with women on my phone.
I guess they were each a lesson,
when I look in the mirror.
Each failed attempt at love,
made the right path more clear.
Well then, I guess I’d tell myself,
to stay away from drugs.
I got so caught up in meth,
I forgot who I was.
But if I’d never done the drugs,
I would never have moved away.
And if that’d never happened,
I wouldn’t be here today.
Moving down here,
is how I met my wife.
So I guess in a way,
the drugs gave me life.
Ok, maybe I’d tell the old me,
to stay away from those guys.
The ones that sell me drugs,
and the ones that tell me lies.
But years down the road,
some of those guys do great.
A few of them even,
had a hand in my escape.
Every loss I’ve had,
has led me to a win.
So I wouldn’t be where I am,
if it wasn’t for where I’ve been.
I guess I won’t send this letter,
I’ll let God make the plan.
I know I fell down a lot,
but I became a good man.

Listen up,
and listen well.
I’ve tasted heaven,
and I’ve walked through hell.
Life can feel,
so unfair.
It all becomes,
too much to bare.
I used to cut,
and scratch my skin.
I have faith today,
but I came from sin.
Sex was cool,
and drugs were fun.
Lying, stealing,
and carrying a gun.
I thought I was tough,
I thought I was hard.
My Dad would pass out,
and I’d take his car.
I’d be gone for days,
no plan in sight.
My Dad was home,
worrying all night.
Would this be the time,
that he’d get that call?
That I’m not coming home…
Not this time at all.
Prison or death,
was my fate it seemed.
A life after this,
was just a dream.
But I finally woke up,
so I could push this farther.
But that’s more than I can say,
for my dear old father.
I was a year off the drugs,
When Dad passed away.
I was there when he died,
and I miss him every day.
He never got to see me,
speaking to a crowd.
Or maybe he did,
because now, he’s all around.
I’m glad I straightened up,
before Dad left this Earth.
Your family deserves that,
they’ve loved you since your birth.
So hang up your guns,
and don’t take that next pill.
Because the streets will never love you,
like your family will.

Another day rises from the ground
But with a different flavor to it
A day of traveling and clearing the cluttered mind
And also creating a wonderful time

Let the special day start with eating some delicious breakfast
Food that speaks to my soul
That makes me feel whole
And inspires me to conquer the road

When the road and I meet
Some of my favorite songs and I greet
Like it’s the first time
We’re getting to know each other’s mind
As I unwind during this special time

While jamming and cruising on an unknown highway
Various historical statues and beautiful land catch my eye
Giving me a positive high
That I don’t want to end
But continue to ascend

And embrace this rare feeling
A beautiful beach awaits me
And hypnotizes my eyes
With its waves

It waves at me and says ‘’come on in’’
But, before I take my first jump
I just want to stare at its beauty
And take a million pictures of it

Then I charge to the calming water
Like a soldier ready to do battle
But only remain in the safety zone
While watching others enjoy themselves

The perfect ending to a perfect day
It would be great to have another perfect day tomorrow
If only this could become a reality.
For now, wishing and dreaming about it will surface

Sincerely,
Gerald

Dear Gerald,

Loving yourself
is like putting a warm blanket
to shield me from the brutal cold
that’s eager to enter my place
and take over my space

but my increased self-love
from above
inside my mind
reminds me
to protect the warmth
I have inside my vessel
and keep my heart alive
from those who wish harm and hate
to crush my mental state
and conquer me

like a conqueror wanting new land
to bring his/her band
to rule in sinister ways
and cause darker days
for the conquered

self-love
is a must for us all
to stand tall
in the face of adversity 
that will persist to threaten our peace
and try to cease
the love 
that we worked hard to keep
for ourselves 
and show others the way
to love themselves all-day

self-love is a non-stop process
that we must maintain to have success
in loving ourselves 
 On your self-love journey
I wish you well
so that you can have a self-love story to tell

Dear Unsealers,

Being grateful is something that I don’t do enough 
especially when life is rough
but when the grateful spirit enters the mind
A great wave of gratitude gives me joy inside  

There are so many things I’m grateful for 
and have me eager to see what more
 life has in store

I’m grateful every day to have another chance
and to start a new dance
I’m grateful for another day to choose
even when I have the blues

I’m grateful that I was given the blessing of life 
even though it’s filled with constant strive
I’m grateful for the life experiences that I’ve had
Some happy and some deeply sad

I’m grateful that I’m in a different place
when years ago, my head was in a different space
I’m grateful for the many connections I’ve made
some connections remained, while others faded away

I’m grateful for the achievements I’ve accomplished so far
they make me feel that it’s possible to reach the stars
And I’m grateful to be in a position to be able
to express feeling grateful

Dear Gerald,
If there’s one lesson you’ve learned in all the years you’ve been on this Earth, is that you were worthy of respect all along. 

You knew deep inside your heart since you were little that you desired to be respected like a lot of your peers, family members, teachers, celebrities, and authority figures who you saw had a lot of respect, like the Reverends and Pastors you grew up watching preaching in a few Baptist churches. 

But respect was rare in your early journey. Not a lot of people shared your deep belief that you were worthy of respect. You were undermined, dismissed, and belittled just for existing how you wanted to exist. 

That soft-spoken sensitive soul just wanted to enjoy being comfortable in his own skin. But the troublemakers refuse to let that happen. 

These experiences of disrespect created doubt & inner demons that you would wrestle with throughout your teens and early 20s, while you tried to figure out who you were and where you fit in a microwave world. 

The inner demons desperately wanted to take you out and celebrate victory. But, something made you keep fighting, because you didn’t want them to win the war. 

Today in 2023, you still stand, feeling stronger than ever. Plus, you can say without hesitation that not only are you worthy of respect, but that anything less than the respect you expect is unacceptable. 

The disrespect you’ve endured throughout your life taught you that respect for self is imperative -  because without it, other people will disrespect you if they have the chance to. 

You’re worthy of respect because you’ve always strived to be a respectable person in a sincere way. The road wasn’t easy to achieve that. But you went through the fire to know what’s acceptable and what’s not when it comes to how you want people to treat you. 

You give people a chance to show why they should be respected and to see if you should respect them. If they failed the test, then they failed your class. 

You’ve learned repeatedly that respect should flow both ways between two people (or more) who appreciate each other. If respect is only flowing one way, the person who isn’t being respected must demonstrate self-love by removing themselves completely from that person. 

It can be a challenge at times to say that we’re worthy of respect if we rarely receive respect from others. But when we have people who care about us and show us how respect for ourselves should look, we can say what’s true in our hearts, that we’re worthy of respect too.

Sincerely,
Gerald