Dear little me,

This is not even a dream that you know you have yet, but oh how I wish I could tell you how brave you are going to be one day! How you will burst out of the role you think you are meant to play. A lot has changed since we were small, but the goodness inside you was a part of it all.

In your twenties, on a seemingly random day and not in any way planned, you will get to come out to mom and dad. Notice I said, “get to,” because for awhile you will think that no one needs to know. Being honest with ourselves about it was such a fight in the first place. Then gradually we told a few safe people, dear friends and allies who embrace us fully as we were. And we feel so lucky. But there is still some fear in expressing it to others, including some family, so we steer clear.

But then, on a day that did not start of grand and then continued to feel like it was getting more out of hand.. when mom tries to ask you what is going on inside, you start to open up about some questions and doubts you’ve been hiding. Then all of the sudden, without any warning, you blurt out, “Oh and by the way, I’m not straight!” It was probably a bit jarring.

You wait for the questions and badgering to start, but instead they let you talk and they listen with fairly open hearts. After that, I’ll be frank, it is not sunshine and roses. Along the way to understanding there have been plenty of bumpy roads.

And I know what you are thinking, because I think it a lot: why did we get lucky when so many do not? I wish I had an answer to that query, but the truth is that sometimes the answers can be very elusive and maybe some answers do not exist. There is a lot we still do not know, but let me scratch something from the list.

I know I am not a mistake, and that I deserve acceptance and kindness. I believe that is universal, no matter what some may say in their blindness. And while I am still growing and changing and discovering myself, I am learning not to hide away on a dark, shaded shelf.

Hugs to you, little one.

I know you didn’t mean to,

I know you didn’t try.

It was just a stupid mistake,

You didn’t want to die…

You were doing so good,

We were so proud of you!

But good emotions, sometimes,

They’re overwhelming too.

Maybe I should’ve called,

Or answered that last text.

But I didn’t see this coming!

I didn’t know you were next!

I know it’s kinda late now,

And maybe weird to say…

But I love you so much,

And I’ll miss you every day.

This is so unfair,

No one knows how to feel.

I keep waiting to wake up,

Or hear that this isn’t real!

What do I tell the people,

When they ask me how you’ve been?

I suppose, I’ll tell the truth…

That addiction never ends.

I’ll tell them if they’re hurting,

They call always call on me.

I couldn’t be there for you…

But for them, maybe I could be.

Maybe I can help someone,

Maybe they will learn,

That drugs aren’t “the fun you can’t have”…

They’re the hell you don’t deserve.

Title: The Boy Named Rhett
Written By: Marli Wright

There is a boy, his name is Rhett, Heaven now his home,
He sings and dances on the clouds, before God’s throne.
He had to leave, reasons unknown, yet on earth his name we cry.
A love so strong, eternal, Rhett’s legacy will stay alive.
Children’s laughter is bright, like in Heaven’s skies,
Angels play and smile, as we remember them with sighs.
And every day, with tearful eyes, another angel friend comes to play,
Welcomed with open arms, may their journey be brightened each day.
In every moment, every breath we take,
Rhett’s spirit shines bright, guiding our way.
Though I held him only briefly, his love now lights my way.

Echoes of Rhett’s Love
By: Marli Wright

In a classroom where dreams unfold,
Where tiny hands reach for stars of gold,
An angel’s spirit softly flies,
Not seen, but felt through loving eyes.
Rhett won’t be here to start first grade,
But with hearts so full of hope and cheer,
We send a part of him each year.
Books and pencils, crayons bright,
To light a young one’s world with light.
Each gift a whisper, soft and neat,
A reminder of Rhett’s love so sweet.
Though our angel’s seat remains empty,
His warmth will touch another deeply.
In these gifts, his love will dwell,
In every book and every tale.
He shares his joy through each small thing,
With every pen and each school swing.
And as the first-grade bell will ring,
Another day is now complete.
Little ones laugh and sing,
Of their days and tales they speak.
As you close the door each day,
Rhett’s love will gladly stay,
Preparing the room for a day anew,
And brightening it with sunshine’s hue.
That is Rhett’s way of saying “I love you.”

What is the point in hating one another?
For do we not all share the same mother?
Do we not all come from the same origin?
So why then do we divide ourselves by the color of our skin?
Why have we allowed ourselves to buy into this insanity,
Of thinking there are multiple races, instead of just humanity?
And then turn it around and use it as a means to cause calamity
For nothing more than to feed our own vanity…
Yet there’s thousands of sick and poor
Who are left picking scraps up off the floor
Families who are torn asunder
Suffering the sound of gun shots as they echo like thunder
So many hearts that have been broken
Over hurtful words which have been spoken
Are we unable see that solving hatred with wrath only continues to feed the bloodbath?
Why is it so hard for us to love one another?
To look at our neighbor as tho he is our brother?
Why are we so concerned with who is better, and who is best?
Should our value not begin with the fact that there’s a heart beating within our chest?
Why do we cling to a dividing love that is traditional,
Instead of clinging to a holy love that is unconditional?
For is that not the meaning of agape?
Is that not the beauty of the Way?
In order to love someone, do we really need a reason?
And why should our love change as quickly as the seasons?
Is life itself not a precious gift?
Why then do we seek to further the rift?
Why then do we seek to further the divide?
For nothing more than our own foolish pride?

Was driving home from work after not having the greatest night… and I saw a guy, with his hazards on, pushing his van…

I came back around and asked him if he needed some help (along with another person who had stopped) and he said that he had run out of gas. I told him that I needed some, too, and to hop in my car.

We pull up to the gas station and there’s a container sitting right next to the pump. Could not have scripted it better…

While I was filling the container, we were talking and he told me how thankful he was… I said that it was no problem and that he had to pay it forward. He then told me that a few days earlier, he had helped a man who was suicidal. I said that’s amazing and that this is just coming back to him for doing the right thing!

My point in telling this story is that the world is not as bleak as it is made out to be… times are obviously very tough right now, but there is still something to be said for helping each other out. I told the guy as he was leaving that good deeds go in a cycle, from one person to the next… we hugged and went on our separate ways, both better for having met each other.

“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.”

— Muhammad Ali

Behind the mask, no face to find,
A trick of mind, ‘neath sun that’s kind,
Yet rain pours down within the soul,
Where hidden truths take their toll.

“Get up, get on, you’ll be alright,”
The lies they tell ease the plight.
A crown once worn, now tipped and slanted.
Society’s stigma, harsh and untrue.

“Go out, be free,” they say, unaware,
That solitude’s chosen over despair.
In sorrow’s depth, alone you wallow,
While unseen, in code, for help you call.

Attention sought? Not even a hand to hold,
A listening ear, as your story’s told.
Over and over, being told “You’ll be okay,”
But will they listen, or just turn away?

Until the end, when all is read,
And in the paper, your name is led.
Will they see then, what they missed before,
Or just a picture, nothing more?

Healing can feel 2 paths
The one with all the rocks
And the one with the steps to the mountain
The flowers that bloom for every little accomplishment
Finding the things that work for me
The constant therapy appointments
The constant doing things alone
Finding the peace with the sun
The peace with the birds and the breeze
The walking up on another chance
Another day
Closer to where I want to be
Closer to the northern lights
Closer to the place where nature is the most beautiful
Where the leaves stop falling
Where your so at peace
That nothing or nobody takes that away from you again

Dear readers,
Living your dreams is something we are told to do as children but, the second we realize what our dreams are, they seem impossible to achieve. Nursing school is hard, 4 years of medical school, 4 years of residency, you graduate to be a teacher only to realize teaching is not all it’s cracked up to be. But, with the right support of your friends and family, your dreams are possible! You will become the neurosurgeon you’ve always wanted to be. You will be that special education teacher you’ve always dreamed about. My only advice I have is to Live Your Dreams and Never Give Up!!

wifi’s off,
sun beats again the brow,
little embers dancing on your forehead,

“do you want to?”
you know i want to
“i want to”
i know you want to,
come then,
devour my body,

you make me hate myself,
love so strong it’s like i’ve never been love before,
i know what hurts you,
i know what he did,
i hear the pain hidden in your voice,
but i can’t apologise for something i never did,
i can’t be sorry that i remind you of him,
i can’t apologise that you see him in my face,
and it hurts you.
i know it hurts you,
i’ll never hurt you,
so i have to go.

give me the blade,
i’ll go the the river,
i’ll take away your pain,
i’ll take it from my body,
numb to texture of your skin against mine,
like nails on a chalkboard,
heart lost under frozen,
u give your your tears,
you give your suffering,
i give my tears,
i give my innocence,
do you feel safe here,

i don’t know why you still wanted me,
i don’t know why when i turned around to meet your tug there was nothing there,
gone without trace as if it never happened,
do you feel safe with me?
is that why you gave me hurt in exchange for love,
then acted like it never happened?

i don’t remember your name,
i’ll never forget your face,
i wake in a pool of sweat in blood from manifesting nightmares into something i can feel,
something i can chase,
something i can touch,
i wonder if that touch reminds you of me,
every time i go to the river i remember the feeling of you,
i miss it more than it deserves,
and i’ll never let myself forget the sensation you are