Dear Daddy,
My earliest memory of you was getting a goodbye kiss in the morning before you would go off to work. I would have my head on the pillow and you leaned down, gave me a kiss on the cheek and say I will see you tonight. I was the oldest of 3 girls so I had some special alone time with you. For example, when I was about 8 years old you took me to work with you. It was very exciting to spend a whole day with you and have you all to myself.
I have so many beautiful memories because I was blessed to have you for 66 years. Not many people live to that age and can say they still have their Dad. Well I am older now and I have lost you and it now there is a void in my life.You were always my sweet daddy. The man I looked to with love and admiration. I am so glad I was always able to express to you these feelings. You are the reason I am, what I consider, a good person.
Well life goes on. My children are older and are very good people. They are both hard workers and have good hearts. I have a grandson now. Thank you for giving me so many opportunities in life. You worked hard for your family and your sacrifices are appreciated every day. I was given a great blessing to have you as my father. My loving daddy Calvin David Kalstein, my WW2 navy hero.
Love, Your forever adoring daughter,

Dear Unsealed Community,
When I was in my first semester of college at C. W. Post I was very unhappy. I had never been away from home for any length of time or away from my parents. I was also a very sheltered 18 year old so I was a bit unprepared for the typical college bad behavior that goes on. Adding to this, I did not get along with my roommate or her boyfriend who was always sleeping in the small room with us. All this was a recipe for a case of extreme homesickness. I was heartbroken and needed my parents to be back in my life on an every day basis.
I made the difficult decision to leave a beautiful 4 year college and apply to the community college near my home in Rockland County. My parents thought it was a poor decision. They felt I was cheating myself out of the full college experience. But I needed to sleep in my own room and be in a smaller college environment where it was easier to make friends. I wanted smaller classes and a few more familiar faces at school. That is the beauty of community college.
As I look back on that unusual shift in my life, I feel sure I made the right decision. From the first day in of community college, I was happy. The teachers were interesting and caring. I was able to engage in in depth conversations because the class size was smaller. As the semester progressed, I made some great friends and also did extremely well in all my studies. But most importantly, I was back in the loving comfort of my home. I have much gratitude for my dear parents, Bess and Calvin Kalstein for supporting my decision to take a step back in my life. Sometimes going back is ok because it propels you to go forward.

With love,
Shelley

To My Dear Little One,
I have waited for you for a long time. I pictured myself holding your little body and playing with you. I do so love my family and the thought of expanding my loving unit thrilled me to no end. After all I have 2 beautiful children that have always filled my life with so much joy. Adding a new person would only expand my world with new purpose and happiness.
Then it finally happened. The day I was waiting for with baited breath. You finally arrived. That very first time I held you was so sweet. My heart soared. You were so perfect. Now you are getting bigger and every day your smile brightens my day. I love our face-time meetings. I am excited to see the changes that happen every day as you get bigger and bigger. You are an amazing baby.
My love for you has added a new dimension to my every day life. You give me a moment of respite in my busy and sometimes stressful day. You are also so much fun to talk to in our baby talk love language. In addition, every day I try to think of a brand new love song to sing to my dear baby boy. My voice is terrible but you don’t seem to mind.
Thank you dear sweet little love for bringing so much sunshine into my life. To you my dear baby boy, as my sweet grandma Lottie would say to me in Yiddish ” Gut Guzunt” and much “Simchas” in your life.
Your Grandma,
Shelley

To people who are too hard on themselves.
When I meet young people who have low self esteem or lack confidence it makes me sad. I was raised with a lot of love so I always felt special. But many people come from homes where there isn’t a lot of support. As a result there is no one to bolster them up when they fail. I wish I could be there for all the young people who need someone to tell them its ok to have setbacks. I would tell them they must keep trying because eventually they will succeed. And I will always be there to catch them if they fall.
When I was a 7th grade teacher in New Jersey I had a student who was failing math. When I would meet with this young girl she told me she just couldn’t keep up with the class in this subject. She just felt getting a good grade would be impossible for her. She was sad and dejected. As a teacher, it was my job to bolster her up. So thats what I did. I gave her private tutoring sessions 2 times a week for several months. Slowly but surely her test scores went higher and higher. She started to feel more confident in her math skills. By the end of the year she had a B average in math. How very rewarding that moment was for both of us.
I have learned so much by just journeying thru life all these many years. We all have our own personal strength that we can tap into when needed. I also believe we are not an emotional island. We must all reach out and seek support. If your heart is open you will find that there is love all around you. You just have to be willing to accept the miracle so appropriately put by Hilary Clinton.. It takes a village.

Dear Kris,
I first heard about your story on CNN. It was a most touching story about your serious illness and your love of travel with your family. My daughter, Lauren was lucky enough to be able to reach you. She wanted to interview you for The Unsealed. You were so gracious with your time. I read your words that you expressed to Lauren. I was amazed by your love for your beautiful wife and sweet son and your resiliency.
When you came on Lauren’s weekly zoom meeting I was so moved by your story. You talked about your serious illness, the chemotherapy treatments you had to endure but also about the love you have felt from your family during your journey. Thru your challenging treatments you were able to bring joy into your life by taking wonderful vacations with your family. You would not let your diagnosis stop you from enjoying life. You were able to tell us about your trips with a smile on your face. Your bravery and strength touched my heart.
Kris, your strength gives me the motivation to stay positive in the light of my own personal challenges. I wish you lots and lots of pain free quality time with your family. May you always travel the world spreading sunshine to all you encounter. As for me, I hope to continue to bask in the light of your positivity for many years to come. Thank you for being the amazing person you are and sharing your uplifting, beaming heart.

Love,
Shelley

Dear Mia and Cayley,
We brought you both into our lives for the same reason. We love adorable little puppies. You are both very small dogs so you very huggable. Dog daddy and I needed a little bundle of joy to shower love on and you both fulfilled that need. Mia you came first 17 years ago. As I write this letter you are laying beside me. Thats comforting. Cayley, we brought you into our home 12 years ago. Right now you are with your Dad,Alan. You both bring us so much joy.
My dear little baby dogs you are always with Daddy and I whenever we are home. Its the 4 of us in bed at night cuddling you both, making us humans feel safe and secure.
Our 2 little dogs have brought so much joy into our lives. You both calm us down when we feel anxious and cheer us up when we are sad. You make us laugh when you do the adorable things you do. You are our best medicine for a good life. Mia and Cayley I cant Imagine life without you.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy ❤️

I first heard about you thru your brilliant performances in movies. That first movie was “Barefoot in the Park”. You were a non-traditional wife. You played that character as a woman who was not afraid to demand from the people around her what she wanted from them. That role probably reflected who you were as young woman. Somewhere in time, I decided to read your biography. Your Mother took her life when you were just 12 years old. Needless to say you had a very unhappy childhood even though your Dad was a very famous star.
I guess I was drawn to you because you were and still are so talented, beautiful and smart. I wanted to be the kind of woman you were. You have always been brave and very outspoken about important political issues, even when those issues were not popular.
About 10 years ago I was lucky enough to see you perform live in a broadway show. You had a scene where you were required to cry. The tears started rolling down. You must have had a lot of pain in your heart to be able to shed those tears night after night. After the show I got to meet you at the stage door. I told you how the scene with your father in “On Golden Pond”where you and your Dad cried was so touching. You expressed love to each other which your character and your father’s character never did. It was obvious to the audience that this scene was actually real life. It was very powerful and it really moved me. It taught me that one should always express their love. You never know when that opportunity will be taken away from you. Thank you Jane for opening up your heart to the world. Thank you also for being a strong voice for climate control. You strive to save the world.

Your admirer,
Shelley

Sent from my iPhone

Dear Unsealers,
In a world ever changing technologically, it is sometimes difficult to keep up. I know this because I came to the computer late in life.
About 25 years ago I was hired as a pharmaceutical sales representative. My new employer handed me a computer and told me that everything I do in the field needs to be recorded on the computer. That included physician discussions, sampling activity and goals for the next sales interaction. In addition, I was told to set up my whole territory on excel sheets and create pie charts displaying market share. Oh my gosh! I was overwhelmed and terrified. Could I ever master this machine or would it be my great downfall?
I decided I was going to have to learn a new skill. I sought guidance and tutorials from my more knowledgeable peers. I practiced every night following the instructions as to how to do different tasks. Also, the company help desk employees became my good friends.
I discovered in myself that I could actually learn a new skill even when that skill seemed really daunting. Today I am pretty proficient on the computer. It feels like I climbed a tall mountain, got to the top, breathed in some fresh air and then patted myself on the back and screamed I did it!!

Shelley

Dear unsealed community,
When I was 23 years old I was living with my parents and 2 sisters in Nanuet,N. Y. My father, who was a chemical engineer, owned and aerosol factory. One night we got a call from the Haverstraw police. My father’s factory blew up in the middle of the night. My father drove the 20 minutes up to Haverstraw at 3:00am to see his building burnt to the ground. Thank goodness no one was hurt.
Unfortunately this event meant my Dad had to find another place to make a living. He was offered a job working for a company in Lima,Ohio. He was going to merge with this company before the fire. Now he was forced to go work for them. This turn of events led to a very scary time for me personally. My parents had to move away and leave me and my sister in New york where we were both enrolled in college.
For the next year I had so much anxiety and felt so sad. My parents were so far away. I missed them so much. I cried every night.
After a year I met my husband Alan. He was very comforting. He understood how I felt because he was very close with his family.He became my safe space.
Talking about my feelings with Alan, who was a great listener, helped to release my fears and anxieties. He even came with me the first time I went to visit my parents in Ohio. After a couple of years my coping skills became stronger and I mentally began to accept that I would never be able to live with my parents again. Time does tend to heal wounds. Having a safe space and person like my husband to support me is a gift I will appreciate for the rest of my life.

It was 12 months into the covid pandemic. It was a very challenging time for the world. Personally, I was struggling. I hadn’t seen my daughter for a year and only saw my son from a long distance a few times even though he lived close by.
Then we started to be feel bolstered by the fact that a vaccine was coming in April. Could this vaccine really change the trajectory of this virus? Could I see my daughter again who was isolated alone in a building in florida? A year is a very long time to to be separated from your child. I was hopeful but frightened.
What was I frightened about? Actually the exact thing that gave me hope at the same time really scared me as well. I wondered. Is this vaccine safe? How would it effect my health, my husband’s health and my children’s health. What would happen when they injected the virus into my body. I had always worked so hard to live a healthy lifestyle. Now I was putting a new vaccine into my body that did not have many years of research behind it. It was not just scary. It was terrifying.
Well the day came when my
husband and I had to drive to Jersey City Medical Center to get that first vaccine. We both were nervous but I decided to trust the scientists and pharmaceutical industry which I have been a part of for the last 45 years. Since Alan and I are older we were getting the vaccine before our children. This turned into another form of motivation for me. I thought I will take this vaccine to give researchers more information as to how people tolerate the vaccine. So we masked up to the point that Alan and I looked like astronauts going into space. We gave the nurse our information, rolled up our sleeves. I started to sob. I cried for several reasons. Sadness for all the suffering covid had brought to the world, fear I was going to die at that moment but most importantly I cried because I arrived at this moment where I found my bravery. I faced my fear took the shot and thought perhaps our world would turn around and we could reunite with love ones. Perhaps we could all live again. My tears eventually turned to joy and pride that day. Could there be a light at the end of this dark tunnel? Well I am here and thank goodness my family is too.

Dear Grandma Urdang and Grandpa Urdang,
Growing up Mom and Dad took me almost every weekend to visit you in Greenich Village. We either drove into the city or in later years came down the palisade parkway to visit you on the very cool west 4 th street in the west village. You lived in a 100 year old nyc city historic landmark apartment building on the 3rd floor without an elevator. Your apartment was far from fancy or nicely decorated. It was dark and a bit dreary but I had the absolutely best time coming to see you and Grandpa. When I was very little you both would kiss my hands and face and call me shana maidela (which is Yiddish for pretty girl). You made me feel so beautiful.
Homemade chicken soup was always the meal we shared. Yum. delicious. When I was 14 my parents told me I could take the bus from Rockland County to the 42nd street bus terminal by myself to come visit you. I loved those times I had you all to myself. Unfortunately, in later years it was just you grandma. I think at that point you were starting to face your mortality so you decided to give me money every time I came to visit. Now I want you to know that kind gesture that you insisted on giving me touched me but that was nothing compared to the affection and love I received from you. I felt like I was your favorite grandchild. Maybe all your grandchildren felt that way. It did not matter. I so cherished the loving bond we had. I hope I gave you as much joy as you gave me and I hope I always made you proud. I know the life I have lived and the love I am able to give my family is a direct result of the sweetness you surrounded me with throughout my childhood. I so miss you both.
Your shana maidela,
Shelala

Dear Lauren,
Ever since you were a small child you were always extremely chatty. I was lucky to be the recipient of your words of wisdom. When you were a teenager I was working in New York City working with some really amazing physicians. I was intimidated by these colleagues that I actually had to teach. I had to give them very detailed information about very strong drugs that were actually controlled substances. I was challenged and questioned a lot by these doctors. I came home worried that I was an inadequate source of information for these thought leaders.
Well those evenings when I came home feeling less worthy of my position, I would tell you how I felt. You were always so supportive and complimentary. Every night you would tell me I was much smarter then I thought and yes you always told me how beautiful I was. You were so insistent that I accept the fact that I was very smart. Growing up I struggled in elementary school. I reversed my letters, had trouble in math and had terrible handwriting. My report card usually had C’s. Nothing to be proud of compared to my 2 very gifted children and my attorney husband. I would tell you all this quite often at night and you would not hear it. That was in the past. You told me I gave really good advice, that I was articulate, a good listener, and was much smarter then I gave myself credit for.
Lauren, I think I have finally found the confidence in myself that you saw in me all along. We all need a cheerleader in our life and you have been mine. I am so lucky to have you and Andrew and Dad in my life to raise me up. So I really always had 3 cheerleaders, but you my dear, with your outgoing personality, had the loudest megaphone. Your positive words are always there in my head swirling around telling me “Mom you can do it” Thank you my dear beautiful daughter Lauren.

Mom

Dear Margaret Sanger,
Many years ago I was hired as a pharmaceutical representative to sell birth control. At the time, I did not give much thought as to how fortunate women are when it comes to deciding when they will birth a baby. But at some point I got curious. When did contraception become available to women in this country? To my surprise, I learned that up until the 1900’s any mention or dissemination of literature or actual birth control options was illegal. So what did I do? Well of course first I googled, which lead me to read the very interesting biography of the amazing advocate for the reproductive freedom movement, Margaret Sanger.
Margaret, you were so brave to publish the first articles on women’s sexuality in a very candid way. You stirred up a-lot of controversy but at the same time many women also supported your writings. You worked as a visiting nurse in NYC and met women who were performing dangerous life threatening abortions on themselves out of desperation. When one very desperate woman, who already had many children, asked her doctor if there was anything she could to prevent pregnancy he just suggested abstinence. These types of insensitive and unrealistic attitudes motivated you to begin educating women in a public forum about birth control. For this, you were arrested. You were forced to flee the country and live abroad until the American society was ready to be enlightened on this subject. You were so passionate and dedicated to the well being of women.
Margaret, many people do not know you were the founder of Planned Parenthood, an organization that has treated thousands of women, offering a wide array of gynecological services at a very affordable level. You impacted my life because you inspired me and impassioned me to be a voice for those who cannot advocate for themselves. Reading about your challenging journey to provide women with reproductive freedom, I became a better sales representative. You put my heart into every word I expressed to my customers. Those doctors I spoke to went on to provide more viable, safe birth control choices for their patients. You gave me a purpose to my career and a great pride in my work. Thank you, my hero, Margaret Sanger, a liberator for all women.

Shelley Brill
Mother of 2 amazing children Lauren and Andrew Brill

Dear Mrs.Shumsky,
When I entered your 4th grade class way back in the fall of 1960 I was the most quiet, shy and insecure little girl. So shy, I never spoke to any adults ever except my parents and grandparents.My teachers leading up to 4th grade were cold and distant and probably did not like me because I was a weak student with very sloppy handwriting. I probably required more attention then other students and that meant more work for prior teachers. But you, Mrs. Shumsky, saw something sweet and vulnerable in me. I think you saw some actual potential because while other children were reading at their desk, you brought me to your desk and quietly tutored me. You helped me write my cursive letters correctly. You helped me improve in math. All this attention made me feel special and hopeful that I could succeed in school. The piece de resistance was being handed the lead role in our class play. I was to be a weeping willow for Arbor Day. This simple gesture made me incredibly happy and gave me the most valuable gift, a hint of confidence. I still had a long way to go but Mrs.Shumsky, you put me on the right road to a more fulfilling, “step out of your comfort zone”, life. Thank you my dear sweet teacher.

Shelley Ann Kalstein
Memories from 1960
P.S.165
Kew Gardens, NYC

Dear Worrier,
How frustrating to feel like a basket case all the time. Most people, as they age develop a laisez fair attitude. They have lived the majority of the life and they are still able to take a breath. But not me. A few years ago in my early sixties I noticed I started to look at the dark side of life. I always worried I would experience a terrible tradegy in my life. Plane rides, car rides, covid, crowds, swimming in the ocean,big dogs all became frightening to me.
As I aged, I had to learn to manage the worrying beast. Mornings had become the worst part of my day. I would just lay there and ruminate about a myriad of scary issues.
I am happy to say I have learned a coping technique. Its a simple solution. I rise , walk my dogs and get busy with my daily activities. At this point I can feel the negative thoughts disappear. . For me, being productive and busy is what liberates me from the beast.
Moving foward, I am determined to embrace and focus on the positive aspects of my life. My children’s acheivements,my new home, and the fact that my spouse and I have each other to navigate thru life. I know that there will always be trials and tribulations in my journey but there will also be immeasurable joy.

I remember when I was a little girl, about 8 years old I watched a movie with Marilyn Monroe. I thought she was so beautiful and glamorous. I decided I wanted to be an actress. This was the very last career suited for an extremely shy child who never spoke to any adults except her parents. But something about being on stage or in front of a camera excited me. My child’s mind told me I could be someone else on stage and be liberated from my timid personality.

In 4th grade, I tried out for the class play and to my surprise, I got the lead. In high school, I was in chorus and performed in two plays. Amazingly, this shy 17 year old was chosen to play the role of a stripper in the play Gypsy. At first I was terrified to go on stage in a bikini costume in front of 1,000 people, but my high school drama coach insisted it would all be ok and I would be a big hit. When opening night came, I went out on stage as Electra, the stripper. I shook the light bulbs on my body. Well, this was definitely my glass ceiling and I shattered it. I was never shy after that night.

I did not go on to be a great actress, but I did have a 40-year career in pharmaceutical sales, which required me to be very outgoing and confident. Sometimes life prepares you for your future without you even realizing it.

Your life’s events are so pivotal and amazing.

Dear Unsealers,
This has been a difficult week for our country. I feel like we are more divided then ever. I am glad I can safely express my myself here at The Unsealed. Everyone needs an emotional outlet and that outlet is different for everyone. But I like being here and telling you all that I am grateful that we are kind to each other even when we disagree. Thank you all!
Shelley

Dear Unsealers,
Recently I had surgery and it was a bit scary. It’s behind me now. I could not have gone thru this process without the support of my dear family. Thank you to my amazing children, Andrew and Lauren, for immediately stepping up and helping Dad and I make the right decision as to which way to proceed. Your research and involvement was so very crucial and so deeply touching. You both analyzed the situation, listened in on all consultations with the surgeons, asked the doctors important and very pivotal questions and helped me manage all my test results. You are my pillars of strength and my guiding light. Thank you to my husband, Alan, who always insisted on accompanying me to every test from cat scan to MRI to covid test you were right by my side and of course every consultation and then in the hospital thru surgery. You are my strength as well as being my post-op coach. You challenge me to get out of bed and walk, which the doctors have told us is important for a faster recovery. Thank you also to all my love ones who supported me and comforted Alan,Andrew and Lauren thru. this process. Thank you to my my sweet daughter -in-law, my caring sisters, my cousins, my extended family and my friends for being so supportive and concerned. You all are so important to me. It really does take a village and you are my village.
From the bottom of my heart with much love and appreciation,
Shelley

Dear Teens,
As a teenager, I too struggled with low self-esteem and insecurities. In high school I would watch other more confident students run for student government, try out for sports teams, cheerleading squad or audition for school plays. I never felt smart enough or athletic enough or even pretty enough to succeed at anything I went for in school. I was a prisoner of my own irrational fears. Then one day my english teacher, who was the drama club supervisor, suggested I try out for the yearly school musical. I was so afraid to go for it even though I secretly would have loved to be on stage. Well I decided to audition and lo and behold I got a part. The really scary thing was I had to play a stripper in the play “Gypsy”. I had to wear a skimpy costume in front of the whole school. I was terrified. Well opening night came. I danced and sang in front of 1000 people. That was the moment I learned that it is important to face your fears, try new experiences and know that its all part of our journey in life. That night I gained a lot of confidence. I suggest, don’t be afraid of the unknown. You will be surprised what you are capable of accomplishing. The sky is the limit!
Shelley