Cluttered rooms, Book stacked like towers. torn pages peak out from haphazard piles, the scent of age paper hangs in the air. Each spine a loud whisper, bearing the suffocating weight of untold stories. Admits the noise, knowledge pressing down, heavy like stones. Relentless questions gnawing at my temple. Anxiety wrapped tight around my fragile heart. Reading Epictetus. Dim lights bounce off my curiosity. what does it mean to stay a student? I questioned. Each misstep a doorway, each failure leading me deeper into a labyrinth. Shifting through rubble. Buried beneath echoes, lingering in silent thoughts. Sorrow broke through every crack upon the clay flooring. The soul, a canvas smeared with grief, each stroke a challenge, every question an engulfed flame of understanding. Burning my guilt of propaganda. What will I cultivate in the haunting chaos of my thoughts? A seeker in shadows the rawness of being alone. A clarity nestled into a breath, a compassionate connection. Existence woven in threads of knowledge in a world that I question if it aches for wisdom?

My Russian-Polish immigrant grandparents lived on the 12th floor of an old brick high-rise towering above Avenue R between Ocean Parkway and Kings Highway in Brooklyn, New York.

It was the 1950s: a promising black and white cookie decade when good was good, bad was bad and people believed in something bigger than themselves.

On school vacations, my parents threw the five of us into the station-wagon. We clamored for the back-back, not the middle seat, then sat squished together, unbuckled and fortified with treats. This was before seat belts, bluetooth, Ipods and mobile TVs for entertainment. Dad drove the distance from Massachusetts to Manhattan on friendly local roads, rambling through small towns sprinkled with stop-lights, penny candy shops and open public restrooms. Later, these back roads were replaced with major highways, cutting travel time in half. By then, we were grown and scattered.

New Americans were hard-working folk. My Grandpa, The Tailor, schlepped around his industrial sewing machine mending and stitching seasonal jobs. During one slow season, he made each daughter-in-law a raccoon coat. Decades later, when wearing animals was boycotted, these coats disappeared. During the coldest east coast winters, I often wished I could don one. Just the thought warmed me up, reminding me of a certain kind of familial love binding generations.

Grandpa played the accordion by ear, ate a loaf of marbled rye daily, and smoked heavily even during a bout of pneumonia while attached to an oxygen tank. He had the enthusiasm of a toddler. Once, while visiting the suburbs, he mounted a two-wheeler belonging to the youngest grandchild, then took off, riding fast and gleefully up the street for a spin. A raging argument about safety erupted inside the house around the kitchen table. We were not debating the use of guns. “So he’ll die doing what he loves,” spoke the Voice of Reason embodied in his youngest son, The Artist, usually the quiet Dreamer.

In his mid-80s, Grandpa traveled the subway late at night to turn into a Ticket -Taker at a dimly lit red-curtained movie theater on 42nd Street in Manhattan. Years later, we grandchildren realized it was not a full-featured cinema, rather an X-rated porn palace.

Mugged once, Thugs took his watch, shoes and cigarettes. When they told him to strip before their get-away, he pleaded with them to leave his clothes behind so he could go home. For some reason they agreed. A bit shaken, but unharmed, Grandpa got back on the subway rattling his way back to Brooklyn, barefoot.

My Grandma was The Lady. The Wise One. Her name gracefully fit her like snug leather gloves, a flowing floral duster and a petite string of pearls. She worked at my Uncle’s women’s and girls’ clothing store, fittingly called The Adorable Shop. On Fridays, punching in and out early, working only a half day so she could go to the Beauty Parlor for her weekly wash & set and fresh red manicure. Only to then walk home to cook a chicken dinner, looking beautiful.

At home, she ruled her roost, keeping a rogue husband and three wild sons who shared one bedroom in line, sometimes with only her voice or a look. Other times, with a spoon or rolling-pin.

A cracker-jack mahjong wiz, baker of butter cookies that became a favorite in a corner café, Grandma too was a heavy smoker and black coffee drinker, always carrying Chiclets in her bag. She had sparkling blue eyes, jiggling arms and a heart big enough to hold us all: ten grandchildren–half boys, half girls– even those unruly and out of control. She taught us to play cards. We all adored her.

Grandma always asked me, “Are you happy”?

It was an impossible question, too broad to interpret or answer.

Never wanting to disappoint, however, I usually replied,”Yes!” Though once, heartbroken after a bruising breakup, I lied. “Of course”, I muttered in a crackling voice. Seeing right through me, Grandma wisely said nothing.

Regarding my future love life and life in general, Grandma later advised :

” Always dress nicely, wear clean underwear and smile”.

“Who knows?” she proclaimed,

“You might get into an accident, god forbid, but the person who hit your car might ask you out for dinner… you just never know who you might meet,” she continued, then paused….

I remember that moment clearly, when, over fifty years ago, my Grandma, while batting her eyelashes concluded emphatically, “even when you take out the trash”.

Dear Human,

I hope beyond hope this letter is finding you well. I have been watching you for a long time now. I understand that sounds creepy, and I apologize for behaving in such a socially unacceptable manner.
The reason I have been watching you is this: You are struggling to see the value in YourSelf.
I understand this, as I, too, have struggled to see the value in MySelf.
For a long time I battled with The S.A.D.S. “S” for “Sincere”, “A” for “Anguish”, “D” for “Described”, “S” for “Shallowly.”
S.A.D.S. and I were not great friends, however I always found MySelf craving its comfort. It was always there when I had no one else. It never left me, never made me do anything I didn’t feel like doing. All it really required of me was to be in bed. Which, that’s kind of nice, right?
I couldn’t get away from it. It wanted me near it. It wanted me held hostage in its soft comfortable safe cocoon. I loved it, the doing nothing.
I hated what came after. After I was forced to exit my safe hovel by being invited out by “caring friends”. Every time I was invited out, I hated it. I disliked it so much that eventually, I stopped going. Excuse after excuse: Sorry, I’m not feeling well! Oh no, my vehicle is in disrepair, I apologize! So sorry, I need to stay home and take care of my sick cat.
I do not own a cat.
Eventually, the caring friends that wanted to check in with me and make sure I was doing OK stopped calling. They stopped texting, messaging, and video-chatting. They ceased their attempts to participate in any form of communication with me.
This made the S.A.D.S. hold on me all the more stronger. Soon, not only was I staying in my comfortable bed, but I was also no longer doing anything that previously brought me even small amounts of joy. For example, I no longer sowed the seeds of various fruits I’d eaten to attempt to grow them in my garden (I was successful once!). I no longer held myself up on my hands in order to test my strength. I no longer wrote words on a blank surface as a form of self-expression…this was the most devastating of losses. Not writing words, no longer writing my stream of thoughts out in the form of poetry, prose, and other delicious word-art, caused me to become lost.
Lost. This is what The S.A.D.S. wanted most of me.
Once I was sufficiently lost, it was very hard for me to find my way back. I attempted several times. I drank various tinctures and teas, I ate many delicious foods, and I watched a lot of crime entertainment. However big (or small) my attempts, I always found myself in a ball under my covers, bawling.

This is embarrassing to admit, but it took a very long time for me to ask for help.

I was certain I would crawl my way back to myself.

I had never been lost for too long before.

It was so long that, when I finally called on one of my caring friends, she informed me she had a baby. That was a shock. I cried.
She came over, with her baby, a loaf of freshly baked bread, and a pen and blank surface.
Her baby rolled around the room happily while we wrote. My friend would ask me prompts, like, “What makes you feel empty,” and the reverse, “What makes you feel full.”
She spoke and I wrote. We went on like this until her babe needed food. She hugged me before picking up her baby and leaving. When she hugged me, she whispered in my ear, “You can do this. Please don’t leave again. I believe in you.”
I stood there behind the closed door. I let her words somersault around in my brain. I sat down, picked up the pen and blank surface, and wrote.

This is what I say to you now, dear Human.
You are more than you believe yourself to be.
You matter, dear Human. You are worthy of your friends’ wanting to spend time with you.
You are enough. What you are doing in this moment is enough. Even if you’re reading this letter in your underwear and eating icecream out of its container (I’ve seen many humans do that in situational comedies).

I know you must be shocked. I came here to meet with your world leader and, “This is what this alien chooses to say?”
Yes. This is what I, an intergalactic being who has traveled to hundreds of different galaxies, choose to say.
It is the most important thing to say.

Thank you for existing.

Best,

Zenna

How sacred it is to be able to think-
To be sentient and corporeal.
When your veins tingle;
visit roots in mind’s memorial.
Touch your feet upon the bare earth,
Yet be mindful of parking lots-
Glass or nails can hurt.

Open eyes to gaze at the sky-
Be bold enough to see,
To know you know nothing, yet you don’t need to know why.
Stop and smell the roses-
Or honey suckle, blackberry bushes too..

Come days end: only your soul knows;
When you lay down your head
When you reflect on the days end-
Is your heart heavier or did you lighten the load?

Did you live in love-
Exist outside of yourself?
Did you stop to smell the roses?
Through all sacred thoughts of the day,
How will they replay in minds memorial?

How sacred it is to have lungs;
To breathe in the ancient air.
Oxygen molecules pre-existing,
Your need for breath.
Did you stop to breathe in the universe?
Have you taken a moment to marvel and dance in the rain?

When your skin feels tight;
Breathing seems like a task,
When your veins tingle or bones ache;
Did you work to make peace with your pain?

How sacred it is to be able to reflect;
When you’re well and able,
Take a moment to see the ripples-
That you’ve started in your day-
Take that moment to protect,
Your own peace of mind.

When that door of opportunity closes
The gates that unlock;
Will unfold in your open eyes,
If you remember to stop and smell the roses.

How real and divine-
To be blessed with your very own mind.

-Hillary Rosenthal

There will be times when thoughts creep and crawl
And eventually, turn into a brawl

But we are the souls of many
The news it lies, we come from plenty

Even if our backs are turned
And bridges have burned

Choose to love like the stars above

You are not so different from they and them
You are the same as he and him, she, they, zi and zir

Do not let your mind be stirred
Your heart is large and pure

Be firm in who you are
Love ALL and choose not to fall

You are mightier than the willow’s roots
And the stained army boots

That sit and wait if we do not hurry
To change the world from visions blurry

To light skies & lullabies
That children can finally sing

With their parents hearts still ringing
A loving call to soothe their dreams

So I say to you if anything
Always choose to love

And embrace like singing doves.

Living your authentic self is being true to who thou art
True to your core and true to your heart
True to the real you that dwells deep within
Not to the opinions of others that try to seep in
For you are the one living THIS life
Claim it, own it, and let it take flight

Place high value on the qualities that make you special
Standing tall in your truth as you own what is yours is your vessel
Embrace the differences that set you apart from others
Apologize not to those who act as your judges

Meeting the expectations of others is par for the course
Why not stand for what you truly believe and use your voice
Genuine, real, certified, and true
All are qualities that authenticate you

Portray your authentic self
It should be as natural as taking a breath
You weren’t meant to fit in a box constructed by others
You are you
A one-of-a-kind and like no other

Dear world,
In 2020 I became catatonic. Which for me meant that my mind went on a vacation. My imagination was unleashed. I found myself frolicking with the fairies in my mind and in the physical world. This was very scary for my family, friends, and myself.
What I learned from being catatonic is to be greatful for your support team and treat them well. You never know when you will need them most. I was lucky enough to have a great support team. My mom and significant other had to keep my body fed and safe while I was unable to care for myself. The message I’m sending to the world is to be grateful for the people around you. You never know who will show up.

Love Yourself First

In the stillness of the morning light
A whisper calls out to me, serene and bright.
To love yourself is where you start,
For healing begins with the heart.

A cup waits, waiting to be overflow,
But first it must be filled, as you know
With kindness, patience, and tender care,
A vessel brimming, beyond compare.

The depths of self, the soul’s embrace,
In this mirror’s gaze, find your own grace.
When storms of doubt come crashing,
Remember the beauty that lies within.
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes gray,
Let your spirit soar, come what may.

Heal those wounds, tend to your scars,
For every tear that falls like rain,
Gives away to blossoms, bringing beauty from pain.

With every step on this winding path,
Prioritize the love and embrace the laugh.
Where you nurture your own hearts delight,
Your glow ignites the darkest night.

Imagine a world where loves the thread,
Stitching hearts together, where hope is spread.
One act of kindness; a smile, a touch,
Can cripple through lives because it means so much.

So fill your cup, let it brim and slow.
For your heart, the world will know
That self love isn’t selfish, it’s the start
of a chain reaction, a unified heart.
Let your spirits sing, of the the joy self love can bring.
Spread this message, let it be heard.

What is a mirror to me?
When I look in the mirror,
What do I see?
A reflection of what I call me?
But how do I know that is me?
What is the one I call me?
A collection of organic molecules
Is thee?
But if I look deeper than that
What do I see?

I use Reductionism
To understand this whole sea
I take myself apart
The one in 3D
And piece by piece
I deconstruct the object that’s there
When I look in the mirror

Then I can see
It’s not anything physical
What can it be?
Its a mere reflection of something celestial
The essence of love
That is me
A light that is so bright
It guides like the moonlight
On a dark winter night
When nothing else is in sight
A light that is so bright
It’s a warm summer hug
From the one we call sun

Now I see beyond the eye
When I look in the mirror
To really understand
what it is that’s there
I don’t look with my eyes,
But I see with the eye
That’s when I find a wise soul
And this makes me feel whole
Because I understood
That I am never alone

A unit with individuality on its own
But also a component of a larger
More complex whole
a drop in the ocean of consciousness
I now innerstand
I am what I am
We are all one consciousness
It’s not just me
We experience it subjectively
You and me
Although we appear separate
We create this collectively

In every moment we are connected
Like quantum entanglement
We each are a particle
We make up a group
Which cannot be described independently
No matter how far apart
What I do effects you
Our actions ripple connectively

So with this information
I realize that the mirror is far more than a surface reflection
The mirror is you
The mirror is me
When I look in your eyes
I’m all I can see
The universe inside you
I assure you it’s there
The universe inside me
We are it’s greatest reflection

So to all this I say
Namaste
My soul honors your soul
What I see in you is a reflection of me
If you see beauty in me
It’s because there is beauty in you
You are my mirror
And I am yours
If you don’t see spirit in all,
You don’t see spirit at all.

My name is Charles, and I’m a 35-year-old single father and U.S. Air Force veteran living in the Midwest, USA. Throughout my life, I have suffered and watched those around me suffer greatly. The anguish of my life came in the forms of abuse, neglect, mental illness, poverty, and later, failed relationships and addiction. These experiences taught me a lot about life that I had been ignorant of, and had I realized then what I’m about to explain to you now, I believe my life may have had a different trajectory altogether.
I spent many years in my early twenties lamenting my childhood and shaking my fist at all those who had tormented me. These kinds of negative ruminations led to chronic anxiety, depression, and substance abuse issues that would nearly destroy me. It caused me to hate myself and to hate all of you. I wish I could say I had some sort of grand epiphany and my life was fixed overnight, but that isn’t so. It didn’t come quickly, nor was it easy. It looked more like prolonged physical and emotional pain stretched out for more than a decade. But slowly I was drip-fed the wisdom required to maintain a decent existence, and I hope to share that with you here.

First and foremost, I came to realize that I had no other choice but to forgive those who had mistreated, betrayed, and persecuted me throughout my life. Not necessarily for their sake, maybe not for their sake at all, but to alleviate my own misery. It became apparent to me that, in their absence, I had become my abuser. It was I who was continuing the cycle of abuse and perpetrating it on myself. So, the first thing I would like you to know is that forgiveness is key. Regardless of how much it hurts, you must forgive your antagonist to reconcile your past. Then focus on the present moment and remain there as much as you possibly can. Don’t wallow in the past or create anxieties for the future. Use all your senses to be present in every way imaginable. There is only one moment, and it’s this moment right here.

Then we must realize that the conditions of our lives are a direct reflection of our own choices. That is, if we make good decisions now, it will produce a good life for us later. A life in which we have the freedom of choice and the opportunity to be of service to others. If we spend our lives making poor choices, our lives will be self-centered and only concerned with fixing the damage we’ve done to ourselves. This seems so very simple and, on the nose, yet it can be one of the hardest things to incorporate into your life. Especially with the tug and pull of emotions when you’re tangled up in other people’s lives and subject to their needs and desires.

Lastly, but most importantly, you must try to understand the perspectives of others and always act in kindness in everything you do. We are truly incapable of understanding what other people are going through at any given moment. We can’t fully understand who they are, the customs of the culture they come from, or what kind of pain they are grappling with, but we can try. We can try to be patient, we can try to be understanding, and we can try and open our hearts to allow for moments of compassion. The characteristics used to divide one another are illusory and of little significance. We only need to act with kindness and approach situations in life with an open mind. We should never allow television or social media to twist our minds and lead us into hating our neighbor. Because we are them, and they are us. So, dig deep and find the strength to treat one another with the same love, respect, and empathy that you wish to receive. Because we only have each other.

29 pulchritudinous years
Wasted time on unheard fears
Wasted time on grinding gears
Added time to feed the tears
29 pulchritudinous years
Tasted fine with codependency near
Tasted fine with no boundaries to wear
Faded thin with no care
29 pulchritudinous years
Placed love to replace the fear
Placed angels on grinding gears
Padded with trust to feed the care
29 pulchritudinous years
Allured the soul to ditch the ego
Peculiar faces turned evil
Familiar souls bonded, covert
29 pulchritudinous years
Holding close those who spark the anima
Molding those lacking kindred
Loving life, mind body & spirit

In order to know your worth after an abuse, you must say to yourself daily, “I know who I am and what I deserve. I am beautiful, worthy, important, special, unique, wonderful, and talented because I am perfectly created.” You’re not created to be under anyone’s foot but to walk beside them. You deserve peace and to feel safe. No one can extend help to another if they first do not acknowledge they have a problem and are willing to embrace change for themselves. You must know what you will tolerate and what’s not tolerable. Stop being complacent with being mistreated. You can’t force someone to respect you, but you can choose not to be disrespected. Respect and trust are a must in every relationship whether it is romantic, friendly, or professional. Once the respect and trust is broken, your relationship becomes sinking sand. Cut these chords even if they hurt. Healing will come once you discover who you are. Remember that you can’t change someone who doesn’t see a problem with their actions and behavior. Toxic behavior can become very draining and dangerous to your psychological and emotional health, if you allow it to go too far.We must learn to break the unhealthy cycles and cut them off completely. It’s better to hurt one last time and heal completely, than to continue to bleed from the same unhealed wound over and over. Walking away from toxicity is not because you’re weak but because you recognize your worth and value. Be courageous and do not let fear keep you where there is no love or respect. Remember that peace is everything. Do not allow anyone to turn you into a person you don’t even recognize anymore. You have to discipline yourself and say no more. Be a wise individual who doesn’t stand for conflict and refuses to be anyone’s victim. Remember, if a plant or flower is not watered it will wilt,it goes the same for us as human beings. We need to be watered, cared for and loved.

I see you mama dog
Your bones like rails
Showing through your skin
So frail

I see the neighborhood
Giving you food
Because your owner is up to no good

They try to help
Within their comfort zone
But they will never understand
Their actions make you feel so alone

I see you mama dog
I know your pain
I know what it is to feel everyone
So oblivious to your shame

I know what it is to have people
Care for you during the day
But at night when you need them the most
They are far away

Did they know?
Did they just shut their waspy eyes?
Abuse is a fine topic to discuss
Unless it happens from family lust

I see you mama dog
I know what it means to be afraid
Of the person
Whose job was to keep you safe

No one knew
Or wanted to know
How he screamed and controlled me
So I would be the most perfect to show

No one rescued me when
He said I needed to watch what I ate
As I needed to lose weight
As he wanted my body in a coke bottle shape

No one was there to steal me away
When he came uninvited
Into the bed where I lay
They didn’t think his morals were THAT misguided

They asked me if I was ok
They stood outside the door
But they didn’t recognize the feeling
Of being caged in fear on the floor

I couldn’t leave
He controlled me
I had tried to go and came back twice
As I rather know where the devil will be

The childhood trauma was so intense
My brain shut it out
Until his death

I don’t wish this shit on anyone
Not even the devil
As having flashbacks triggered by your
Amazing husband is unimaginable

But I didn’t imagine it. It happened
The others apologize to me and said
They should have stolen me away
That they were happy he was dead

Maybe they say that to make themselves
Feel better
But it doesn’t’ do anything to help
The life long panic attacks and anger

Therapy works
Support works
And love works
To help in healing

But you know what works even better?
Stopping it immediately
So you don’t have to read about the pain in a letter
Or a poem by the victim who is seething

So have those talks
Say something when you suspect any type of abuse
For the victims who go on their walks
Feel more alone and stuck in a life they didn’t choose

I see you mama dog
And I will do my part
To steal you away from that rotten log
Of a Man who doesn’t know your worth

Why?
Have you not read this poem?
Because I rather deal with the consequences than
Spend another sleepless night knowing of the abuse

You continue to ask why?

Because no one saved me

Writing Challenge
By: Carletha Evans
“If you could relay one message about a learned life lesson, to every person in the world, what would it be?” Is a daunting question. The opportunity to share one message initiated a deep feeling of responsibility. This is because life has numerous variables and anomalies. In choosing to be introspective, it is noticeable that life is not just one, but a series of experiences. I take this to mean that there has to be a series of lessons as well. With this ideology in mind, I allow the question to float freely. Refraining from using the analyzing and sorting faculty which is also known as left brain logic. I allow inspiration to speak, choosing a creative mindset versus a logical one. In doing this, I was able to narrow down just one life lesson that I have gathered during my life experience. This lesson is that we of the human race need each other. I am inclined to quote the popular line from a poem by John Donne, that states “No man is an island, No man lives alone”. In the age of remote work, and social media, many are not spending time with friends, family, or participating in community groups. A number of individuals are beginning to become isolated from society. This lack of socialization is causing increased numbers of loneliness and depression. I have learned that just having someone to listen to, or just to be there as a shoulder to cry on, can relieve stress. I am aware that many people have been hurt by others, and that in our society we are constantly bombarded with news and images that are disturbing. Constant exposure to these images make many feel unsafe in the world. As a result, some choose to isolate themselves from society which is a natural self defense people employ in order to prevent harm. This ideology however is creating a society where we no longer speak to our neighbors if we even know who they are. It seems counterproductive to want to be safe but refuse to know the individual that resides next door to you. How about the fact that many no longer participate in community events. I am not saying that a person shouldn’t protect themselves from threats. I am saying that when surrounded by people who have your best interest at heart, does wonders to a person’s overall sense of self. Nurturing relationships that help us grow and help us feel seen and safe are paramount. Knowing that you are loved and supported can only prompt a change in the community at large. This is the life lesson, that we need each other, we are each other’s reflections. Choosing to reach out in times of hardship, grief, or loneliness can only lighten your load. Allow the help of others. You don’t have to carry your burden alone, reach out to family, friends, even a professional if necessary. I learned this lesson November 25, 2022, the day my mother transitioned. I was so convinced that there was nothing in life I couldn’t handle alone. How surprised I was, because I have never felt loneliness like that.I am grateful for people in my larger community and her church family stepped in. I don’t have much biological family I am close to but those that I was in touch with, allowed me to lean on them. If it had not been for that support for months after, , I may have lost my mind. I suffered anxiety attacks for weeks following her passing. I learned how people can pass you a little bit of their strength when you are weak, they can give you a little of their love to hold onto. Sometimes we have to borrow these things from those around us when we don’t have any left to even give ourselves. Life is not a solo sport, it is a team effort. Allow yourself to be loved and supported, and then pay it forward, one person at a time we can bring unity in this world.

The Well

They say you can’t pour from an empty cup
And I am here to tell you that is true

But, I also know you do not have to give the whole well away
each and every time

You can just dip from the surface

The water is all the same

If I had a message for you it’ll go something like

Dear World , Life is subliminal

You start out one way and it helps to shape your mind but most times its unintentional. What you learned then could be applied to now but it depends on who you were around. Everything you learned as a child will show up in your here and now. That part you can’t help, some will soar, some will have room to explore and some will question what was all this for? It can make you it can break you it can shake you it can play you. It can love you it can hug you it can butter you up and have you believe that anything is possible. I seen opportunity in the blue sky’s with my eyes for miles and miles. But on the other hand I seen through man that life can have sky’s that are dark and grey where you see nothing coming your way. There’s a void in this land that seems like no one understands. All you need is a hand, a hand to walk with you because you can’t see in the dark without the illume. And that’s when you look up to the heavens and say to self “oh there must be some sort of mystery in this world, I wonder what they call it” got me feeling nostalgic. All my worries are lighter now, thank you God! Or whatever you wanna call it. Through man’s eyes my message would be , don’t be surprised. It can start out dark but there will always come light in the new rise. There’s love in a few but God made everything to be beautiful. It’s just that sometimes life can get ugly but make sure you search for that light under them covers ….. namaste 🙏🏾

I am Ms.Blossom now watch me bloom

Hello World, did you know Love is sacrifice?,

Fifteen, alone, afraid you’re going to break.

Love is Sacrifice.

Car seats, Diapers, formula too, these holey shoes are great!

Love is Sacrifice.

Rent’s due, school supplies ooph, “oh man, you haven’t ate!”

Love is Sacrifice.

Swing shifts, softball games, there’s no time for that break.

Love is Sacrifice.

Flat tire, prom dress, no money left to cover these greys.

Love is Sacrifice.

College Fees, battered knees, she’s going to do something great!

Love is Sacrifice.

Boquet’s thrown, back alone, man, it’s getting late.

Love is Sacrifice.

She’s back at home, the time has come, a truth she must relate.

Love is Sacrifice.

He’s on the throne, you’re not alone, Mom it wasn’t fate.
He gave his son, for you and I, Grab on and don’t be late.

Love is Sacrifice.

Because of your prayers, I’ll meet you there and boy won’t that be great.

Love is Sacrifice.

Let go Mom, the Lord has won, go into heaven’s gates.
Thank you, God, for your son, who died and made a way.

Love is Sacrifice.

A life of harm done. Or so I thought.
Trauma responses from my caretakers. Fear, abandonment, deep rooted pain and dysfunction going on within my entire immediate family. I wasn’t the only one – I was just the youngest one.
Life became confusing to me, and the cycle of drugs, domestic violence & poverty kept creeping back into my life going up until my mid 20’s.
I could name a lot of different times where my life was at crossroads, and all sorts of different choices that probably changed my life, as well as major life events and losses that have occurred. Majorly, the sudden loss of my brother in September of 2020 from a drinking & driving accident.
But that wouldn’t be enough. See, it wasn’t just one turning point for me. I have been on a continual spiritual journey since November of 2010. Accepting treatment and entering the journey of healing from PTSD and substance abuse was a pivotal moment in my life for sure.
Once I released and faced all the truths about myself, confronted myself in the mirror, and walked through my past traumas with the support of all my Angels and my network here on Earth – suddenly, things started slowly shifting. Not instantly, but things got better for me. Monetary things returned. My faith returned, and my life started getting better. I’ve had a few bumps & falls but am blessed to say I got right back up.
I always thought I was a victim. I now know that I am a survivor. This mentality has majorly changed me for the better. It’s not to downplay anyone’s trauma, but to be able to say you walked away from it and are still alive to tell the story, is an inspiration to mass amounts of people still silently suffering. There is also an inner freedom found in it that I did not know existed.
Taking the time to sit with myself, go for walks, color pictures & enjoy being in the present moment. Laughing, dancing – just like a kid. I’m giving new childhood memories back to myself. I can hold on to the good memories that I have & do my best to mourn the bad. I now know what self-love is. I’m giving that back as well, and I’m giving it to my children, and any other kids that may cross my path. These are all gifts that cannot fully be explained. But certainly, all turning points in which I have chosen to walk along the paths that lead me to happiness.
I Now hold my head and shoulders up higher when I look and speak with people.
I speak up for myself, and my loved ones.
I show gratitude, kindness and respect to Mother Nature, my High Power and thank the Universe for continuously showing me that I have a purpose here on this planet. Even if others don’t see it yet.
I suppose in hindsight as I sit here in this present moment overlooking the Great South Bay of Long Island – my true Turning Point was finding ME.

Love Always,

Here is a message I would face death for-
If I could deliver it to an open-minded world.
Whereas Christ came to save sinners like me,
Of whom I beg to differ-that myself is the chief.
Four times Gospel=Good News
A spiritual hospital for souls with the blues!
Exciting, Vibrant, Exploding Truth for you…
No matter who you are-it applies to you!
He tells us how to be safe, to be free!
Jesus’ own words, “Come follow me”.
heavy loads made light-shining in the dark of night,
He has the same path for all-come to His Grace for Life!
Telling Perfect Truth from beginning to end,
Though there’s no such with Him-He is eternal Friend!
Let Him, let Him, let Him
Remove doubt, strife, and fear of things-
With Him you can/will be happy to win,
Watch Him fulfill your every dream!
May take some time-Relationships grow,
He (Jesus) is the Perfect One to know!
And knowing Him is Perfect Peace,
Not knowing Him is no Peace at all-
Because He is the Prince of Peace to all!
Never can any take His place-
Come for Salvation, where all our wrongs are erased!
…Yes-Jesus saves!
I’ve learned a 45 year lesson,
At Camp Neosa as a kid,
But I was a mad kid-
I’ll bury my treasure in the ground, said I…
Could not this message that I hid-even give a try?
It is Perfect-will not trespass any,
And those who find it are not many.
So share we will-the Living Water spill…
Into the souls-so thirsty drought-
Sharing saving faith-to receptive hearts on route!

Then never can the dark prevail!

God Bless you!!!

9-3-24