‘Who’s worthy of respect?’ Asks the
Oh so gentle soul. ‘Me, perhaps?’
Replying tentatively, I question whether
The ‘me’ others see is laudable with my
Honesty, diplomatically voiced,
Yet still encases my faith, ethics, and friendship.

Offering an ear, a hug, a friend, a listener
Free of malice and judgment, that’s never a jeer.

Resounding devotion can never
End, as long as your true self reverberates
Soulfully within a frequency received by
Peers and kin who feel the same.
Enter into the ring to battle out the
Captivating desires leading you astray
To a world where your worth is bound by trends.

©️ Malak kalmoni chehab ©️

“Discovering Faith, True Beauty and Confidence”

During and After Cancer

Without questioning, this is how I conquered through my diagnosis of cancer, not once, but twice. Without questioning, when going through a serious illness, you learn to know what faith truly is, along with finding the true meaning of beauty and how you really feel about yourself. I know this all too well because I have experienced many trials and tribulations in my life. Through it all, I gained strength that I never knew I had, and much more confidence in myself, which led me to loving myself all over again. I had a new beginning, all on my own.

After going through so much in my life, things were going well, until it happened. I had a head-on collision with not only breast cancer, but colon cancer as well, and it changed my entire outlook on life. I thought I had endured rough years before but going through cancer was the rest of the iceberg. There is nothing like it. You wonder, what in life had you done so wrong to have this placed upon you. You began asking, why me. Yet through my tragedies and all that I had to endure, it all became an awakening for me, in which I received and gained all the strength and encouragement I needed to conquer. Through it all, not only did I find the true meaning of life, I found the true meaning of beauty. Through all the chemo, radiation, the pain I endured, I still felt beautiful. I found myself looking in the mirror even more during this time, because I thought what I was dealing with would change me drastically, but as I viewed the imperfections on my body I now must live with, over time it got better, and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I embrace it. I’m still among the living, who am I to complain.

Whether we are dealing with an illness or any other negative feelings about ourselves, our lives, as well as our bodies, we need to be our on-cheering section. Through all my mishaps, I still feel beautiful, and it is real. I have come to realize that even going through such a dark time, I still have a life to be lived, and I am going to live it to the fullest. When I think about the individuals that are no longer among us due to such a horrific disease, I’m truly grateful, and I will no longer take my life for granted. Life is precious, and we don’t realize it until we come close to losing it. When I think of the “gift of life” that was given to me twice over, I knew I did not have a moment to waste. I would never say having or going through cancer is a gift, surviving it, receiving a second and third chance at life, is the gift. Yet, through it all, I did not allow the disease to take away who I am, or what I stand for. I am a survivor, as well as an example to show that it can happen, and that I can go on and look and feel just as beautiful, inside, and out, and it shines brighter.

Yet through my tragedies and all that I had to endure, I received and gained all the strength and encouragement I needed to conquer. I will say that the areas of my body that were interrupted will be a constant reminder I had cancer, and at times, it does bother me at times, I’m human, but within a moment or two, I look past it, because those areas could be covered up. True beauty is within and when you feel beautiful on the inside, it shows so clearly on the outside. Just because I had cancer, does not mean cancer had me. We as women should never allow anything, or any circumstance to steal our joy, nor our self-esteem, even while cancer is taking you through many emotions and many unanswered situations. At times you feel black-balled. And I for sure know with cancer, many times you are too weak to even think about your looks, because you’re not always feeling your best, but at times we must try, even a little bit and fight past it and keep living. Through any tragedy, we are and always will be beautiful and unique! Women, we all know that our bodies take lickings, yet we keep on ticking.

When I look back now and see how far I’ve came, I have to say, I thought right away that my cancer diagnoses were truly a death sentence, because you’re not sure if you’re going to make it. Cancer has taught me not to blink twice on life, my eyes are wide open, living my best life. I also realized after surviving cancer both times, that I was about to face new beginnings, new hope, do and see more with a whole new perspective on life. I share my story with others hoping to make a positive impact on someone who is ill or otherwise, where they can proceed life in a whole new way. I am 66yrs of age now, and I am cherishing each day, each moment, and through it all, I feel that I’m at my best. I am confident in myself, as well as grateful. I am starting over, doing things I should have done before cancer.

One day, after one of the many surgeries I had during my breast cancer period, and I could remember it as if it was yesterday, I experienced something so real, so peaceful, something of a miracle, that I had to write it down. I turned that experience into a poem, and I called it “Peace”. I took that poem, along with many others I had written, writing had become therapy for me. I am hoping that anyone who may have the opportunity to read my poems, gets out of them, what I placed in them, they are as real as poems could ever be. My most recently published book is titled, “Cancer, Yet Cancer Again, but I will not Die, before I’m Dead”. I titled it that, because I truly feel that you should not stop living, because you have cancer, and that is exactly what I almost did. I heard the word cancer, and my immediate thought was, that’s it. I am a realist, a regular everyday woman, who have overcome many obstacles, which took me to writing, trying to produce inspirational stories. If I had not gone through all that I did, I would have never anticipated such.

The scars and mishaps that are now attached to my body due to cancer, are just that. They are symbols for someone else’s inspiration and hope. I am thankful, because if I had not struggled, I would not have found my true strengths. Not allowing anything to stop me. I am a true example that you can survive cancer, not once, but twice, providing you get to it in time. I am not saying all will be easy, I am not saying all will survive it, what I am saying, is to have faith, fight with all you have, then hold on. I honestly believe, when and if you survive a horrific tragedy or a horrible disease such as cancer, it is for a reason. You have a purpose, and through that purpose, faith, compassion and strength, true beauty is born.

Thank You,
Karen Rice/x2 Cancer Survivor
Author

Respect is earned, respect is learned
I was not respected as a child, for a while
But have learned to endure and persevere through It all
I don’t know when to stop And that’s probably helped me along the way through my journey that I was given. Everyone is at Liberty to be respected as well as me. I’ve been writing since I was 11 about my trials and tribulations through this hype and mediocrity of life.
I’ve given my life to this world and hope I have inspired some. I’ve been there done that, that’s fact
I’ve saved a life, made a life and gave a life
I’ve caved in and stayed in throughout it all.
Everyone deserves to be respected and I finally acknowledged that I deserve it too.
I’m not a cocky person by any means but I believe I’m a good writer because I write from the heart and stay true to myself. I’m honest when I write And I hope it inspires others because you all inspire me!

Dear Self,

Everytime you hear the word respect the first thing that always comes to mind is Aretha Franklin’s, “Respect,” such a great and powerful song. You always pay tribute to it because it’s something as a young child you didn’t have. Of course as a child you were more interested in her spelling out R-E-S-P-E-C-T in the song then you were about noticing that you were treated more like last nights dinner laying in the trash can unedible, instead of, the freshly made dinner just nicely laid out on the table before you started eating it. As you have grown up, the song still resonates with you today and it’s time to feel more like the fresh from the oven turkey then the the turkey bones laying in the trash because you, self are an amazing female who deserves the recognition of being treated as a main course sometimes and not just the trash that in general nobody wants.

As a child you didn’t notice that adults telling you to be quiet when you were so excited to share about this cool toy you found at a yard sale was considered them not respecting your right to talk. Yes, there is a time and place that in general you shouldn’t be overexcited and loud about something like in libraries where people are trying to do homework or read a good book, but a yard sale? This is where you should voice your opinion on things because this may be something you can have at home to play with. Not that the adults you are with care. They are in their own world getting what they want and what they think you would want but never asking you or allowing you to voice your opinion on things that impact you. It’s like they have an idea in their head of who you should be and everything else you want to say or do doesn’t matter. You were the the imperfect chair at the table being covered by a perfect cloth to show that you were the ideal child with hidden desires that to others was to remain unseen.

Years have passed and now you are a teenager. This time you can voice your opinions on things like what to wear and buy for yourself as long as it’s reasonably priced, but when it comes to actual opinions on bigger than you ideas on life no one is listening. It’s like being trapped in this idea I need to be into myself like other teenagers my age and focus on what the latest movie is out and when I’m going to see it. The things that are not important to me but should be important because this is the age I’m supposed to care about trends and dating and not about worldly issues that will affect me as an adult. Oh well! I would rather have a seat at the best table surrounded by others than the messy uncleaned table were we put the things we didn’t like and never talked about.

Nowadays as an adult in her mid twenties, it is important for me to be heard as a person with her own opinions. My childhood days of being unheard and the lack of respect of my opinions in my teen years are long over. I am at the point in my life where I am making myself heard. There’s no more of the shushing or talking over me because you don’t like what I am saying since it’s not relevant to how you want the conversation to go. I want to share my thoughts and not just be a table where people put their own dishes on me and expect me to just accept them as they are and not say anything about it. I will be loud. Raise my voice over you trying to silence me because you don’t like my opinion, or the direction the conversation is going. I’m not saying that everyone will want to agree with my opinions on things but I will make sure that people at least listen to me and allow me to contribute something to the table instead of being the table.

No one should ever feel like they are unheard and should be given the chance to speak their mind even if others don’t agree with your opinion. Not everything you say will be the hamburgers at the barbecue sometimes you will be the relish that only some people will eat on their hotdogs, but you should never feel like you are as a whole person the moldy leftovers in the fridge that need to be tossed out because they are useless. You are the freshly put out food at the table made up of a variety of dishes that has a lot to offer those who come over and sit or stand at the table. Even those who decide not to be at your table because there are too many dishes they don’t like should respect those dishes because without them, they don’t know that there is something to not like, but they can appreciate that there’s variety in this life that makes more room for them to have a seat at a table with food they enjoy then fighting over the last slice of pizza because everyone’s interested in it but there’s not enough for everyone which makes it harder to be heard and figure out who actually deserves the last slice when we can all just share it among ourselves.