To try to think of one particularly great story about my mom that really stands out..is kind of a challenge. That feels weird to write it, and said out loud its even more strange. I guess life with my mom was just an endless series of great moments, great days..a bunch of small every day things that comprised one amazing life.My mom passed away 18 years ago. Thats sometimes still very hard to believe. One particular moment stands out..and its a very sad one. But also just illustrates how strong she was and how amazing of a mother she was. I was working at my part time job one night. Mom had been declining..her years long battle with cancer was nearing its end. But I got a call from my brother or my dad at the restaurant I was working at- Mom wasnt doing well, and i needed to get to Mom and Dad’s. I left immediately and went to their house. When I got there Mom was at the bathroom sink, and maybe for the first time in my life I saw my mom scared. Uncertain. Not sure what was happening.I was upset. Dad went upstairs to get his keys and wallet, as we were gonna take Mom to the hospital. Dad asked me to get Mom to the couch and help her put on her coat and her shoes so we could go when he came downstairs. I got Mom to the couch, and I was crying a lot. I’d never seen my mom look this shaken,
and knew things weren’t good. I hugged her so hard I practically tackled her into the couch. i didn’t want to let go. But I had to help with her shoes. I sat up, and as I was trying to get her shoes on, I was struggling. The tears were flowing so much I could barely see what I was doing. Then, my mom did what she did for almost 34 years- she just made her baby (she called me that) feel reassured and better. Or tried to. She put her hand on my shoulder and my back, and said “Jimmy, it’ll be ok. Everything will be ok”. With who knows what going on in her mind, with her having to know that things weren’t going to be ok, with her maybe being scared of what was going on, her first thought was to take care of me, to protect me, to tell me everything will be ok. I will never forget that moment. As sad as it was, I dont want to forget it. because it just reaffirmed to me what I already know. That nothing mattered to Mom more than caring for and protecting her kids. That turned out to be the last day Mom spent at the house. She passed a couple weeks later. The little 4’10” Italian dynamo left us..but never left our hearts. There were far more happy memories: taking me to an Indians game on my 8th birthday. We took the bus because Dad was working second shift,and my brother had just started driving. But we hoppped on the bus and had a great time. There was the homemade pasta dinners for every holiday (even Thanksgiving had cavatelli..Italians lol). She’d make me pasta every night I had a little league game and tell me there was a double and triple in there. Like I said, the good memories were far more prevalent. But that night-as sad as it was- will stay with me forever. Mom took care of her loved ones, always put us first. Even when she had every right to put herself first. Thanks Mom. You’re the best 🙂

@theunsealed

To my younger self,

Several years ago, mom and dad moved out of our childhood home and mom sent me a box filled with items from our room that she didn’t know if I wanted to keep or throw away.

As I looked through this box, I found random items like a Mia Hamm Barbie in a package that I never opened and drawings from third or fourth grade. As I dug a little deeper, I also found a letter written to my future self. It was written by you – my younger self – a 17-year-old high school senior.

You’ll be happy to know that you got off the waitlist and into your top-choice school, Columbia University. While you will question whether or not you are smart enough to go there, college won’t be very difficult for you. Academics will almost come secondary to falling in love, getting your heart broken, making lifelong friendships, and starting your career.

After college, it will take a little bit of time, but you will make it on air. You will become a sportscaster. In some ways, the dream will be everything you ever imagined and more, and in other ways, you will be left hurt, frustrated and disappointed.

I’m sorry to tell you that so far, you didn’t get your own show, and you don’t have your own network.

But that’s OK.

What I love about you and what I love about me is that we follow our heart, and we stay true to our morals. We stand up for ourselves and others even when there is a heavy price to pay.

These qualities will lead you to tell the world in an open letter about what happened at that house party in Nyack when you were 16. I know you thought you’d be able to bury that, to push it away and forget what those boys did to you forever. However, it just won’t play out that way.

Don’t worry. You’re OK. You are more than OK. Your letter, which was addressed to sexual assault survivors, will help you transform all your pain into purpose.

Sharing your truth will feel so empowering, you will decide to lend your ability to write and tell a story to other people’s voices. You will start a business you can’t yet even visualize. It will be called The Unsealed, and you will ghostwrite open letters that will inspire strength and encourage equality.

While most of the letters won’t be about you, you will write the letters based on your interpretation of each person’s story. And thus, within each letter written, there will be a piece of you and a part of your heart. These letters will reflect the compassion you feel for others and the impact you want to make on the world.

The response to your work will be incredible.

Your very first letter, which was about grief, will save someone’s life. A man, who lost his mother, will reach out to you and tell you that he read the letter with a gun in his hand. By the time he finishes the letter, he will have a tear dripping down his face. That will be the moment he decides not to take his own life.

And that’s not all.

A former foster child will tell you that you made her feel seen. A father who will lose his son to cancer will thank you for caring about his child’s legacy. A teenage rape survivor will tell you that you are the reason she shared her story, and you are the reason she feels hope for her future. Countless people will be grateful because you listened to them, helped them express themselves, and amplified their voices.

Your work will give you so much happiness, purpose, and connection. The passion you feel burning through your veins will help combat the nerves that come with the uncertainties of starting and running a business.

It’s not your own show, and it’s not your own network. But this will be right for you.

Once again, you will be confident that you are good enough, but you will still want to be the best. Your dreams will once again be big, and your plan will be very specific:

Build an enormous badass company that will change the whole damn world!

You will have your moments where you wonder, “Is this possible?”

“Can I take this to the next level?”

“Will I continue to grow?”

Most of the time, you will be excited, but there will be moments that you feel scared. And in those moments, you will think of the letter your 17-year-old self wrote to your future self.

See, when I think about you and your struggle and how the cards ultimately unfolded – I know precisely the advice I want to tell you.

I want you to relax. You have wonderful friends, the best parents and you are young and curious. Stop missing out on the joy of the present moment because you’re consumed with the unknowns of your future.

Don’t worry. Everything always turns out just fine.

All you have to do is continue to follow your heart and work hard. If that doesn’t take you where you plan to go, I promise it will lead you somewhere better.

I hope this helps.

And thank you again for writing to me. The advice that I realized I wanted to give to you ended up being the exact wisdom I needed to remind myself.

We got this! Let’s go!

@kayjahlorde @oneturbobenz @amazz94 @theunsealed