The beach is my favorite place
I walk to the farthest end
You know, where all the jagged rocks meet
All pointy and eroding from the storms the sky sends
I climb those rocks until I find the perfect bench
I sit down to look at my view

My grandmother’s favorite beach is called Coco Beach
It’s in Florida, her favorite state

I imagine there’s coconuts everywhere
You have to keep your head held high so you can keep watch

WAIT

That same line can be used for life

Anyways
My Lela and I sit on those rocks together
We watch the sunset
It goes from pretty blues and whites to a beautiful cotton candy sunset
The wind is the perfect temperature, the perfect strength

We take deep breaths together
So deep we taste the salt from the ocean

We name things we see in the stars
I update her on every detail of my life since she left
We laugh
We cry
We curse
We yell at the sky

I tell her my new memories, the ones she knew I didn’t remember
I tell her my new perspectives of the world, of my life
I show her all my wounds in my back from everyone who swore to me they loved me

She gives me a massage
I feel the familiar feel of her gentle hands
I feel all the love through them
My eyes tear because I missed that feeling so much

The sky is turning orange now, light slowly rising up
The winds start picking up
Lela grabs my face so firmly but still so gentle
She squeezes and says to me, into me

“I am so beyond proud of you. Your wounds are nothing but warrior scars now. Symbols of battles you won. Reminders of all you can withstand. Now go fight some more, you may fall or slip, but you have proven to always to get back up.”

After the warmest, tightest hug she disappears into the big rush of wind
7 seconds I stand there
Embracing the last bits of her presence

Now I’m awake, my eyes crusty from tears
But my heart is so full and warm with hope and love for life
So heavy
But also so so full
And my soul is at peace

I find my peace in pieces
A little here and there
Chaos never ceases
Peace is often rare

But,
I feel it in raindrops
Dry, falling leaves
Carefree belly flops
A humorous sneeze

In,
Pine needle covered trails
A brilliant sunrise
Stylish manicured nails
Crisp sweet potato fries

At,
Book clubs with friends
Pride parades in June
Multicolored pens
Naps in the afternoon

I find my peace in pieces
Wherever there is spare
Gather then release it
Peace is meant to share

Dear Unsealers,

This is my answer to the question in the challenge…

When and where do I feel most at peace?

As the sun rises over the Canyon of Heroes
It’s the start of the work week

But before I arrive at the office
There’s something that I need to do
The Monday morning ritual

As I take my seat in the cafe at 4 Liberty Street
I see the heart in my Matcha Latte

At the first sip, the world stands still
Only the daylight can be seen

None of the world’s troubles matter
With each extra sip, I feel warmed bliss

When the bottom of the cup is reached
I can take on the slings and arrows of the day

peace, the peace that’s so so very sweet
and lovely filled with incredible
nature beings such as the birds
the bumbles bees lady bugs, caterpillars,
and even things we could hardly
ever see

peace, the peace that you’re
mind is so free and at ease the
freedom you have without
over thinking, under thinking
with such anxiety till
the point where you could
hardly take a moment and even breathe

peace, I want the peace that comes
with happiness, excitement, joy,
and laughter filled
with friends and family
till the point where sadness or
drama isn’t included or even such a thing

peace, the peace
from the moment that
i wake up or even go to sleep
negativity isn’t even a
thought or thing keeping me
from my everyday things
that would escape me
from my positive reality

peace, the peace
where privacy, calmness
quietness, isolation isn’t a
bad thing just being able
to enjoy life without all
the unnecessary noise
and irritation that will
disturb me

peace, the peace
that’s so light and pretty
like the sky filled with
many clouds on a hot
sunny warm day when
taking a swim is almost
perfect
for that specific day

peace, the peace
where life is like
the ocean floating
and the waves
maneuvering so
smoothly and perfectly
sounding where that’s
all I want to hear and
just see

peace
peace
is all I want in life
and may ever need

Beneath the radiant sun,
Waves crash nearby,
The chilled water beckons to me,
As sand clings to my feet.

Seagulls dance and flutter about,
While dolphins playfully surface.
Sandcastles tower amidst the sand,
Children’s joyous laughter fills the air.

An oasis of tranquility,
Salt air whispers gently.
This is my favorite place,
A haven for the soul.

Sereneness,
Peacefulness,
Endless horizon,
This is pure bliss.

As the waves come and go,
Renewal washes over me,
In the vast ocean’s expanse,
All problems fade away.

Drifting with the current,
Worries are no more,
This sanctuary revives and rejuvenates,
The beach: my happy place.

The impact of my Romeo’s embrace
can send ease throughout the mind—
compiling a space of security.
Shockwaves sent within
outside leaves only a grin—
the impact of my Romeo’s embrace.
Allowing the spirit to roam free
across the buds that have been planted—
compiling a space of security.
Growing in the races
tangling up the two souls—
the impact of my Romeo’s embrace.
Following the direction the fingers intertwine
as we head towards the meadows—
compiling a space of security.
A path sent from the rain
only he knows the pain we with-stained:
the impact of my Romeo’s embrace—
compiling a space of security.

I want to say I remember the exact date. I do not; however, that does not take the meaning, luster, or any other adjective to describe the importance of this day away.

I was a sophomore in college and still was having trouble finding a friend who truly made me feel comfortable talking about my cerebral Palsy. I felt that until I explained it, I would not have that authentic friendship I so desired.

Anyway, I believe it was a gloomy day in September or October at Mitchell College in New London, CT.

I remember it like it was yesterday —- which is saying something because the story starts with me on the phone with my mom — it probably was the 1000 time I talked to her that day. Still, this time was unlike the rest: she called, and I did not moan and groan about how much work I had to do; instead, she asked me what I was doing.

It was probably four p.m., and I was lying in bed sleeping to mask my anxiety about making friends. I said, “Nothing.” “Well, what can you do?” She asked. Then, in a voice of trepidation, I said:

“The basketball team is holding a clinic for Special Olympics CT.

I did not want to go because — though I would be volunteering — I did not want to be associated with individuals whose disabilities are apparen, as I told myself that I did not have friends because of the way I walk.

After the event, everyone was given Pizza. I took mine and scarfed it down because I probably had not eaten all day due to my anxiety.

While eating as fast as I could, I choked, and this player on the school team offered me his drink. I eventually stopped choking, and we sat on the gym steps for hours, talking about life and basketball.

After explaining to him how my Cerebral affects me, he said, “Do me a favor; we are not going to refer to it as a disability; we are going to refer to it as an OPPORTUNITY!

I must have looked at him as if a bear was attacking me. Still, about six years later, I am grateful that I have learned that I have an OPPORTUNITY to impact people using my disability POSITIVELY.

To my mentor, friend, and father figure,

It’s hard to believe that it’s been over two years since we crossed paths. Does it sound vain if I say it’s even harder to believe how far I’ve come since then? Before you came into my life, I was a nobody with nothing. I was a thirty-something with no spouse, child, “real” job, degree, drivers’ license, or close friends and family. All I had was a couple hundred extra pounds of weight, a mountain of bills I couldn’t afford, and a disability that killed my chances of a normal life.

I found your work about a year before we met. It was Summer 2020, at the height of COVID restrictions. By then, I’d resigned myself to my idle, isolated existence. My life was never going to get better, so there was no point in living anymore. I spent my days just waiting to die, either by my own hand or by slowly eating and drinking myself into an early grave, until I saw something that changed my life. You.

While mindlessly scrolling through my phone one day, I happened upon a video of your work. Something about it intrigued me enough to click on it, and I’m so glad I did! In the character you created, I saw someone like myself who had fallen short of the benchmarks of adulthood in every way imaginable. By the end of the video you had me crying along with you, and coming from a woman who hides behind stoicism and silence, that’s saying a lot!

For the first time in many years, I wasn’t misunderstood and alone. For the first time, I had hope that I wasn’t too far gone to make something of my life. I made a choice that day that I would survive the pandemic in hopes of someday thanking the man responsible for that video.
It was a warm Florida night when I got my chance. There’s no need to ask if you remember. You promised you wouldn’t forget, and you’re the type of person who remembers everything anyway. While I know you remember the night itself, I don’t think you know what I had to go through to be there. I never told you how scared and sick I was because I was afraid you’d judge me, but now I don’t think you would.

Getting to that event in Florida meant flying for the first time in my life, something I was afraid to do. I wasn’t scared of the actual flight; I was scared of everything that could go wrong up to that point. What if the TSA harassed me? What if the airline lost my reservation or forgot to assign me both of the seats I booked? What if the baggage handlers lost my luggage? What if the other passengers fat-shamed me? Worse yet, what if I went through all of that only to have my flight delayed or canceled?

I was awake worrying the entire night before my flight, and by the time my cab arrived, my stomach was in knots. Part of me wanted to back out and write the trip off as a lost cause, but I didn’t. I owed it to you to show up.

That flight wasn’t the only time I had to step outside my comfort zone on that journey. By the time the event itself rolled around, I was running on too little sleep and too much to drink. My legs were so swollen that I could barely walk underneath the long dress I wore to hide my body, yet walking into that room was exactly what I did. As I looked around, I saw men and women in their designer clothing and fine jewelry, talking amongst themselves. Then it hit me. They all knew each other, and I didn’t know anyone!

What right did I have to stand among them? I was just the fat, awkward weirdo in the cheap Walmart dress. It was only a matter of time before everyone in that room, including you, would figure out that I didn’t belong there! I wanted to walk right back out the door before that happened, but I’d come too far to turn back. This might be my only chance to thank you for the inspiration your work gave me when I needed it most.

I stood along the wall next to a promo kiosk, far out of the way so as not to say the wrong thing and annoy others. Despite my best efforts, I still managed to make an idiot of myself by mistaking one of the event’s most important attendees for a kiosk employee. I was mortified! What if I made a mistake like that when I tried to talk to you? What if that person warned you to steer clear of me because I was so weird and rude? I didn’t want to take that chance!

For the second time that night, I wanted to run away. For the second time, I didn’t. Minutes ticked by as I stood on the sidelines watching, panicking. What if you left the event before I got up the courage to speak to you? I slowly inched away from my hiding place, watching you and your entourage for a break in the conversation. Suddenly you turned around and saw me standing there with the gift I made for you.

I could barely get the words out to tell you how and why I made that gift. The whole time, the thought was in the back of my mind, What if he hates me at first sight for my looks or my accent? What if he loses patience with my awkwardness? I mentally prepared myself for the inevitable rejection to which I’d become accustomed, but it never came. When I thought I’d find derision, you gave me encouragement. The person in the room with the most cause to look down upon me was the person who treated me with the most compassion.

I walked away from that interaction thinking, Did that really just happen? In the real world, people like me aren’t supposed to win over people like you. That’s only in fairy tales! I didn’t know how it happened, but I knew I didn’t want to give up that feeling of belonging! That night, I faced a choice. I could go back to the idle way of life I knew and let your acceptance be a one time thing, or I could honor that acceptance by becoming someone worthy of it.

Just once, I wanted to measure up to someone’s expectations, so I decided to make one last-ditch effort to improve myself. That night, I made a promise that I would turn my life around and not let your belief in me be in vain. While I still have a long way to go, I’ve made slow but sure progress. In the past two years, I’ve lost 100 lbs, laid the groundwork to start an online business, and stepped outside my comfort zone many more times. One such time let me fulfill a lifelong dream of visiting New York at Christmas, and another is going to take me on my first ever cruise next year. Everything I am now is because of your encouragement, and I can never thank you enough!

When asked to write a poem about a time I left my comfort zone, I giggle a little and bat an eye for it was the time I left my home

The moment I set foot on earth was the day I left the known; and to my sheer confusion, humans call this home

You see, we live to die, we fight to fly, we remind ourselves to breathe; but human form is not our norm, we exist for pleasantries. We exist to feel a gapping spectrum laced with woes and fright, but at the other timeless end, our love can shine its light

We agreed to become physical, and surrender our comfort zone; we agreed to teach our souls through the chaos that is unknown

So I giggle a little when you ask how I’ve seemed to leave; the only form of living is fighting to be free

I walked the lines and felt the sting of endless blissful travel, through arduous roads and stepping stones that always seem to unravel. But being human humbly means living for discomfort; like little tiny paper cuts or longing for your mother

And I praise the days I cry because feeling means I’m alive. I get to be a person who feels the dance of life

So I giggle a little when you ask the time I left my comfort zone. You leave your comfort everyday for the sake of evolving your soul.