Dear Unsealed
Today I look forward to my life.
This decade I am 74 years old.
Not sure but had lots of strife.
So, I have been told.
I can say today,
As I relay or dream night and day
Of younger days and love and heartache
Of give and take,
This decade of clicking the box,
That says 70 +,
Such a fuss.
I am an elder with wisdom,
About life and love,
But somehow remain strong,
With reason and rhyme
Of space and time.
This is a time when I should have respect
From kid, grandkids, but
It does not always happen as I have kept.
Moving forward with time
Books and computers all that
I read, listen to music, write and all that.
This period in my life
I look back at relationships,
Loves, marching for equality for all,
And the concept of my fight for humanity
Love, peace, and light,
Are still not understood by certain people in my life.
I thought by this time
With reason and rhyme
They would understand my strife,
To create peace and love
Blessed from up above.
However, this is not so with certain people
But now I am old
I continue to be strong and bold.
I toss specks of salt
Over my right shoulder and left shoulder
To send peace to all
As I recall
Without humanitarians as I am
To tell folks it’s okay
Today
Tomorrow
Any day
I am to adventure to say
I do it my way
You do it your way.
I live one day at a time,
One moment at a time
Of reason and rhyme.
At 74 years old
I am still for peace and love,
Despite the folks who shut me down
All around town
I am woman.
Here me roar!
I have been down there on the floor,
Still an embryo
But I will be strong, progressive,
To move forward in time
With reason and rhyme
I am considered to be an old lady.
I can dye my hair pink.
Or gold or red.
Or whatever I choose,
Its okay today

Pending transactions, exemplified male tractions. I hold these truths to be self-evident, that I am the truth, the light, and the way. Mockery of self-gratification interrupts sensory.
Sensory of convenience and stride, that pimped out momentum of pride. I have no doubt, that I can love me, forever, rings in the echoed frustrations of potential.
Potent aids of expectations and security breaches. Unfiltered predictions and passed down sorrows and frictions. Demands of freedom on guard. Stagnant states of undreamt forward movement, projections of enduring.
Endurance of setbacks and pain forgotten, for within victory I’m plotting. Plotting up a role beyond my own initiative. Do not expect less cause in this chapter, I announce recess. Air Bourne opinions, shape shifting emotional bonds and irrelevant feelings.
Irrelevant feelings of acceptance and assurance for God is my rock. On a need-to-know basis redirects traffic, for I am the moderator, the innovator, and the headliner. I am the chapter.

Telisha L Dennis
Saturday-4/20/2024

I pulled on a pair of runners, tied up the laces tight
Lined up behind the racers, hoping to keep out of sight
Two minutes in, I struggled for breath, fearing I would meet my death
I pushed forward despite my pain, dodging blowing northwest rain
With every puddle I side-stepped, I grew stronger, more confident
For the moment I was simply me, not a husband’s wife nor a babe’s mommy
My body moved freely in open space, unconfined by time or place
And with that first race, on that day one, I found I absolutely love to run
This revelation did change the way I lived my life both then and today

In this chapter of becoming me
My idea of who I want to be
Has evolved as a result of life
Experience in both love and strife
I find seldom is there black and white
Or simply wrong or completely right
But rather in this world of gray
We must live in our authentic way
Today I’m proud to say I’m queer
I’ll shout it out both far and near
Because in this chapter of becoming me
I’m exactly who I’m meant to be

“A TIME WHEN I DID NOT GIVE UP ON MY WRITING, MUSIC, AND ART”
DEAR UNSEALED,

I have many times,
In my life of 74 years of rhyme
And reason roadblocks
of people have said to me, “What?”
I struggled as a woman, born in 1949,
Of the boomer generation of time.
I was told I could not do this and that,
Tit for tat,
I proved them wrong,
As I write my songs
Of life’s journey
To eternity
And beyond the box thinking of patterns of life
As I continue my strife
At 74 years old
I have been told.
I survived many love relationships,
Time after time sailing the ships,
Across the clouds, the sea, the mountains of earth
As I tread on a new birth
Of still writing and creating art of sorts
Of time and space, of course.
I worked two or three jobs to go to college,
To obtain knowledge.
I attended a Microsoft coding class at 51.
That was my finale with that one.
Being told as a young woman I could not do that,
By certain people who did not know squat about that.
I struggled all my life with a positive attitude,
Of a subdue,
Nature of hiding my tears and feeling blue
As I walked on upon life’s path so true.
Despite my broken relationships with narcissistic pigs
I kept on walking to all my gigs.
Life moves forward along the journey,
Of many miles of this wild child.
Still eccentric, eclectic, boho hippie style
Of peace and love despite the tactics of so many trials
Of work, play, study, and broken narcissistic relationships in my life.
I still believe in me.
Let it be.
Me as a woman in the last decades of my life
And all the strife
I believe in rainbows, angels, and light,
Not to fright
The weary of treading through the jungle of the night,
But to look around at music, art, writing, and light.
I will not give up on my new goals,
Of this old soul
As I tread on with my writing, music, and art,
To make a new start
At 74
And as before
I tread through the desert, the storm,
Of life after so close to death as I was warned
After Long Covid attacked my organs and whatever it could
I survived major abdominal surgery at 72 in 2022.
I still want to live in a paint bucket of words and colors, as I should,
not give up,
Even when finances are low,
And still with health issues of dietary needs
I still drink from the cup of the mustard seed,
As my late Grandma Carrie Soleta implied,
“You are my baby girl, and you will survive.”
My faith is still strong,
As I sing life’s songs
Of blues, laughter, and survival
Of the known and unknown
Of life’s songs upon the sand to the beach
And along
It is faith in my creator and that mustard seed parable,
Teaching from my late Grandma Carrie Soleta.

Don’t Give Up, It’s a Lie
I’ll tell you a story. Four years ago, I sat at the end of my chair at seven at night. I was tired, no exhausted, desperate, fearful, and as hopeless as I have ever felt in this false world, I built around me and played a make-believe character in, and I knew. I don’t know how I hadn’t known before. Maybe I had. Maybe I had always known. But right then I knew for sure.

It was a lie.

It was clearer to me in that moment than it had ever been before. I knew it without a doubt in my mind. I knew it and nothing and no one could ever change my mind.

It was a lie.

I did all the things you should do in that situation. I bent my head and covered my face and prayed. I prayed and I prayed and then I prayed some more. Tears streamed down my face, dripping on my shoes. The harder I prayed the more I knew.

It was a lie.

I had come to this place, this holy sanctuary three years earlier, searching, pleading for healing. I’d spent twenty-seven months on my knees in earnest prayerful repentance. I’d sat in circles surrounded on both sides by sexual addicts, pedophiles, and the sexually broken searching for healing. I’d listened for the voice of God to speak to me and fix my brokenness. To make me whole, make me straight. I’d sung songs, read verses, prayed endless prayers and nothing. But I tell you that night as my tears ran off the sides of my shoes and dripped to the floor, I knew.

It was a lie.

There was no amount of prayer or repentance that could make me straight. There was no sickness to heal in me. There was no sin to forgive. I was a lesbian not a sexual deviant, a lesbian. Everything they were telling me was false.

It was a lie.

Today I know as I did that night that I am whole just as I am. I’m not broken. I’ve heard a great deal about reparative therapy and trust me when I say it doesn’t work. Whatever else you read, whatever else you hear, remember this, it is not true. You cannot fix a homosexual and make them straight.

Don’t Give Up, It’s a Lie!

Perfectly Equal

Once upon a perfect day
All were equal in every way

Not color nor gender
Did prevent the render

Of kindness and care
Bestowed on everyone everywhere

In fact, all differences at hand
We celebrated in fashion most grand

And an impenetrable sphere
Protecting both straight and queer

And those dark skinned and light
Surrounded our earth, preventing a blight

Which threatened evil and strife
Upon this our most perfect life

For hate may have been the prequel
But equal would be the sequel

On this most perfect day
Conjured and imagined my way

My dear Lorinda, here’s to you
Some words of praise I feel you’re due

Too often quick to criticize
Much less likely to emphasize

The abundance of kindness, love, and grace
You thoughtfully grant those in your space

And opposite your gentle side
You’re a lioness who protects her pride

With fearless strength and fortitude
You don’t back down from any feud

I’m proud of the human you strive to be
And know you’ll continue to work on me

So, just like mom oft says to you
I love you so, Lorindy-Lou

Dear Unsealed,

Why do i love myself begins with why do I need to accept myself as the first step in why we are all here as human beings on Earth.

Growing up in a patriarchal society there were many times I hated myself. I grew up fast and looked like a woman at 11 years old. So, let us see that it was then 1961.

Now I am 74 years old and not sure if I would go so far to say I love myself, but I do like myself. So, I will engage in why I am my own best friend. I am learning to love myself.

The spirit of learning to accept oneself as themselves is tricky. As human beings we are always comparing ourselves to other people. We want their body shape, or their wardrobe or face and body characteristics. The first process in learning to accept oneself is to not compare oneself to another human. We are all unique in body form, speech, clothes style, food tastes and how our brains reflect upon everyday activities and our personality styles.

I like myself because I like my DNA of worldly all over the globe style. I like myself because I do not live in a boxy world of thinking. I live outside the box. I like myself because I love to wear boho flower child clothes as well as my décor must be boho. I like myself because I have a well-rounded education in different professions. I am a multi-tasker. I love music, art, writing, movies, computers, photography, and life.

I have learned to accept my empathic abilities. This was not an overnight decision, due to being an empath with high sensitivity is seen as a weakness by bullies and other controlling personalities. I love my vivid dreams that I have nightly. I dream of faraway places, new people, and environments. That is strange to many people. It is a gift from my ancestors. I love that gift that was passed down from ancestors and the Universe. I sometimes see spirits and I also have learned to relish this gift.

I love my crazy curly long hair. I just love to try new color gels on my hair. To some people it is a crazy thing to do. To me it has been normal since I was a teenager. To others it is a shame I do not act my age. Since I was told that as a young teenager, I figured out what they meant to say is do not do anything that irritates them. If we as one human being listened to every negative comment mentioned to us, we would sit in a corner just staring at nothing because that is where the haters and narcissists want everyone to be that does not think like them. However, I focus on positive critique not negative opinions. I like myself because of faith and concentration on healing and light.

I love to talk about healing, love, and light to everyone. I was told by a person who scolded me for loving the light and healing, “Oh you always want to love everyone. You will soon learn not to do that.” I did not listen to that remark. I remember that remark but considered it to be nothing.

I love myself now as I think about my resilience to bounce out of depression and illness. At 74 years old I survived long Covid and major surgery and almost dying. My philosophy of love, light, healing, and peace was expanded after the illness into another realm of living with empathic gifts.

If we as human beings learn to have a good relationship with each other instead of forcing others to walk and talk like the hater, then humanity would be at peace not war. However, that is a fairytale of sorts that we as empaths and healers must take with a grain of salt.

I have also learned that the more one listens to haters the more one will hate themselves just as much as the haters hate themselves. So, now I love myself as I complete this letter to explain why I love myself. I cannot be anyone else nor can anyone else be me.

I believe learning to love oneself can be difficult especially if one is depressed. I have a wonderful therapist who gets me.

May we as a human being species learn to love one another as we are unique, eccentric individuals who were created by the Universe to live and breathe on Earth.

I remember a song I used to sing to myself in the 70s as I marched for equal rights, “I am Woman, Watch me Roar.”

Sincerely,

Dear Unsealed,

My favorite day in 2023.
I was still recovering from major surgery on May 2, 2023.
I remember that day so well as we
All will remember the day in Sacramento, Cali.
The early flight as early in the am as it could be.
This was my first outing since my surgery in April 2022.
I was honored to be chosen to lobby,
For women’s rights here in Cali.
We met senators, all other elected officials of the beat,
of the capital of Cali.
My first outing had to be dramatic of course,
As this was my first travel of the year
To concur I celebrate May 2, 2023
As happy as I could be,
To spread light, love and peace for equality.
It was a full day of speeches and shaking hands,
Of important peeps as well as the immediate company,
Of my sisters, who flew over with me.
We flew back to Ontario airport.
To confirm our day was complete.
I was happy I must report.
That was fun and work and play,
On my favorite on May 2, 2023
That’s all I have to say about my day.

Sincerely,
Vicki Lawana Trusselli
December 21, 2023

Dear Unsealed,
My goals for 2024 are somewhat different that in 1990 or 2007. I am 74 years old. I know my goals are different apparently because I am older and the fact, I survived long covid and the effects on my body and major surgery. I almost died April 2022. However, I am alive. I am a Virgo, Leo moon rising, born on the cusp of Libra. I shall talk about more subtle goals than I would have at 20, 30, 40, 50, 0r 60.
My goals are:
1. To remain healthy as possible.
2. To remain alive.
3. To continue my freelance writing and photography.
4. To continue to spread love and light.
5. To perhaps make a little extra money to help with bills.
6. To always see my doctor.
7. To continue my gluten free, lactose free diet as much as possible.
8. To walk more, swim if the weather permits.
9. To continue my meditation practices.
10. To analyze what I am doing and what another person means with their words as they speak to me or other people.
11. To cut back on clothes, shoe spending on Wish and Temu.
12. Be kind but not vulnerable the full 12 months of 2024.
I will wake up every morning to the sound of music playing through Google Mini or Alexa. I will remember my vivid dreams of people, places, things to write down the specifics of my dreams to create stories of inspiration, but to not forget that inspiration is a part of a negative experience to be brought out into the light. I will take care of my health and continue to think young. I will continue my political activist positions regarding human rights, women’s rights, LBGTQ rights, voting rights and democracy for all.
My goal to spread light, love and peace may sound repetitive to some people, but to me it is my most important goal for 2024 and beyond. Without peace, love, and light there would be continuous wars and evil wrongdoing in our society. So, there needs to be more people involved in this goal. Equality and human rights are not political as they are a humanitarian society procedure, not political.
I will spread light and love through my writing and photography with periodic checks of analyzing the good, the bad, the ugly in all facets of life on Earth.

Sincerely,

Vicki Lawana Trusselli
December 21, 2023

2023

So much happened to me
In this year of twenty, twenty-three.
I got new hips for which to run
Each morning, each day, rain, or sun.
An essay of mine was published in a book.
I’m still quite sure I don’t like to cook.
My father’s progressed illness made me see
How unbelievably fragile this life can be.
Miss Mollie my sweet yorkie-poo
Turned six, in dog years, forty-two.
I ran in many races at varying paces.
And made friends with people from faraway places.
But the absolute best part of twenty, twenty-three
Was celebrating ten years with my wife, Sandy.