Dear Unsealers:

It’s the second Sunday in May.

I wanted to wish all the mothers in this group and Lauren’s mom too, a Happy Mother’s Day!

I’ve written a poem to mark the occasion:

The second Sunday in May
A day to honor all the motherly figures in our lives

Mothers, aunts, grandmothers, mothers to be
To cherish them for all they do
To hold their memories in our hearts
More than these words can possibly say

Mothers are the backbone of the world
This fact needs to be repeated
Today, tomorrow and every day

With all the love if this day is too difficult
All the comfort and joy abound

From me to you, I wish all of you
A Happy Mother’s Day!

The Tortured Poets Department has a writer’s division that has to approve every poem before it goes out
And my mind is tired of being held hostage
A loose-leaf definition of writer’s block was once defined by the utter of: I don’t feel like writing, this isn’t good enough, my hand only works for the remote today
Then she interrupts my train of thought to ask: why have you never wrote a poem about me
It’s not that I haven’t
There are 100s getting as comfortable as you can be in the waste basket
The last poem I Kobe shot, Melo made, and Curry posed to the trash can started like this:
An eye lash is trying to make your cheek more than just a Sunday service sanctuary
It wants a home
I know you’d like me to remove it
But who am I to destroy a home
I can’t help but think how beautiful you look with that eye lash
As it rests there like a pair of doves flirting on a branch not far away from me
What are you starring at, she exclaims
Oh, nothing I reply, today I’ll let the eye lash remain
On
Your rosy cheeks, kissed by my dead rose petal lips
Reminding you of the time we went camping and you hated that you smelled the outside
You hated that you smelled like outside
And I kept teasing you but hiking, visualizing, and tenting next to nature is maybe the closest thing to
Falling asleep to your beautiful
Falling asleep to your beautiful
Falling asleep to your gorgeous
Ugh, I can never find the right words to describe a tenth of your gorgeous
And it makes me want to drop dead out of frustration
Because the writers need to feel exactly what I do when they read:
Holding her hand is to get a glimpse of forever before I die
Holding her makes my heart resemble the flight of a butterfly
Holding her hand is to hold my battles in the palm of my hand and make them cry
The writers consist of a delicious various assortment of personality; often referred to as me, myself, and I
Every time I get ready to seal this poem to you the writer’s block me from letting you receive it
p.s. I haven’t learned to love myself enough to love you…

The clock, the watch, the phone all have eyes that watch from the view of 2 AM untamed
Heart rates jumping like the heat of the flame
Me plus You is a movie, what is the name
Our love doesn’t fit in the frame
So, cameras get jealous of the panorama pane
Real love never goes without pain that can be immense
So, if you’re hurt let patience play offense
Slow dancing with your memories is a nostalgic essence
Sweat dancing with the burning scent
Wick burning with confidence
Mirroring our silhouette, naked thoughts present tense
My hands without your curves, a death sentence
Each kiss turns a page of my sixth sense
I don’t need a third eye to see your imperfect contents
Table this: beauty is born from cracks so use the hurt as accents
She is priceless so keep your two cents
Temptation is off limits but I climbed the fence
The candle falls asleep to our aroma, hence
The flame goes out, conclusion love making after an argument
Sweet dreams enter in the tango of sheets, legs, hearts, rest swiftly to the comfort of her name
My heart is tied to yours, no more games
I’ve played tug of war and came out lame
No more burns unless it’s from the candle tamed
p.s. this is what it feels like when peace kisses love…

Have you ever let your mind sit under a cherry blossom tree
The poetic renewal massages the stress away the same way as the beach waves
Copy and paste, lying next to you is like closing your eyes under the sunset oceanside
A bright blushing sky with kisses of orange, and blue with a honeyed taste that simply grabs you
But nothing is as sweet as your sugar, under the shade of this suite
Fresh chill of a neutral setting is cooked by our body temperature
Peace in the reflection is bringing us closer
When I look back at how we arrived at this destination within the calm ripples I see a truth in the tomb of love at first sight
Our photograph under the light being born from fallen petals is a coveted site
I had to see the treasure I already had instead of searching for gold
That’s when our story began to unfold, I hate folding clothes
I rather unfold and devour deep conversations over shallow beverages
She likes easy ice, but I want more, as deep as the roots of this tree
The ying and yang
Discovering the ocean intricacies when it closes its eyes to dream and wakes up with a kiss complemented by a southern twang
She’s my main thang, calling my land line
Our language reads between the lines
Wrinkled with age or bitten white chocolate sheets
I love seeing your cherry blossom cheeks
p.s. you be the pink and I’ll be the red for Valentine’s…

I recently had the privilege of speaking with Jon Antonucci on my podcast, “Grit, Grace, & Inspiration.” At 19, Jon was involved in a tragic arson attack that dramatically altered the course of his life. As he shared his story, I couldn’t help but find surreal parallels with my own life-altering experience.

I was only 17 when a life-saving surgery to remove a brain tumor left me completely blind. This was completely unexpected. Waking up to a world of darkness was like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. There was no possible way this could be my new reality. I held onto a thread of hope that it was all just temporary, that something would restore my sight. But as days turned into years, that hope faded, and I had to face the truth of my new reality, I was now blind.

Jon described being sentenced to 14 years in prison in much the same way. He recounted the surreal feeling as he was handed his sentence, and like me, he clung to the hope that his nightmare would be overturned—that he would wake up from this bad dream. But the years passed, and reality set in. Jon would serve the next 12 years behind bars, followed by two years on supervised release.

What strikes me the most about our conversation is not just the gravity of our trials, but the surreal acceptance we both had to come to terms with. There was no miraculous intervention, no sudden awakening from a bad dream. Instead, there was a slow, often painful acceptance and adaptation to our new realities.

Both Jon and I have found ways to see our adversities as formative, even integral, parts of our identities. For Jon, his years in prison became a time of intense personal growth and reflection. For me, blindness was not the end but a new beginning, shaping me into the person I am today.

This is the beauty of the conversations I get to have through my podcast. Despite the vastly different paths we all walk, there’s a thread of commonality that connects us. Each of us faces our own “unthinkable” at some point, and yet, it’s through these challenges that we often find our deepest growth and purpose.

It’s only when we take the time to understand one another that we come to realize that we’re not so different after all. We are all just trying to navigate the complex journey of life, finding purpose in the paths we least expected to walk.

You can listen to my conversation with Jon Antonucci inside of Episode 284 of Grit, Grace, & Inspiration:
This link will let you listen online:
https://GritGraceInspiration.com/Jon-Antonucci
Or this link will let you listen on your favorite podcast app:
https://GritGraceInspiration.com/Listen

Remember, it’s not what happens to us in this life that defines us, but rather how we react to it that counts.

In life, we say I love you,
Many won’t mean what they say.
In poetry, we say I love and then we take you somewhere further than outer space.

I say I love you to many in many different ways,
Love is too complicated then dares to never make sense.

There are so many ways to love someone only real love could understand the rest.

I love her as my Nurturer,
An artist who molded the most beautiful clay,
The momma bear whose cubs never starved a day.

I love him as my Foundation,
The cement of my soul when the tides of life wash the rest of me away,
The tesla of my heart he made me the light on your darkest days.

I love him as my own heart,
The fragile passion none could ever corrupt or dethrone,
The hero to my sidekick for as long as he lives I’ll never let him truly be alone,
He looks out for me, I’m his almost clone.

I love her as the earth loves the sky,
Sometimes she is my shade,
Sometimes she brings the rain,
Sometimes she may be the storm,
The mother of the artist,
She is the vision that the masterpiece was made for.

I love him as my mentor,
The flame of my candle when lost in the dark,
The script to the play when I never had a chance to practice my part,
The man behind the blueprint to a better-built heart.

I love them as my brothers,
A bond close to kin,
Should they never question my loyalty,
We save each other from our sins.

I love them as my sisters,
A love to fill a void of the things never had,
A love to protect and be vulnerable when things are good or bad.

I love them as family,
The kindest faces the ones we have yet to meet,
The only love that times has yet to defeat.
An impossible connection that defies the very ground beneath your feet.

I love her as the moon
Her love is my sun
No earth in sight,
A connection stronger than the deadliest spider web none has ever spun.

I love her as her escape
No interest in whether she deserves peace,
I’ll be her chance to just run away,
If she goes too far or finds herself lost,
I’ll love her as her return
For things that need her most could never recover from such loss.

I love them as their comfort,
I place they can be safe,
I’ll be their pillar until they need a pillow,
I’ll be both for them on my best days,
I’ll also be their discomfort because growth won’t happen any other way.

As for myself, my love is a Thorny mirror
For the things that I feel are a reflection of what I serve.
A taste-blind chef with intentions of shaking the world.
I love myself in a place of solitude as the one who hates to love alone.
I’ve been so far from where I was I forgot that I’ve passed where I wanted to go.
That’s what happens when aren’t looking ahead.
Now I just want to be bonded with the dream I’ve always had love for a gamble on a shooting star.
Memories of the longest chapter I’ve ever written so far.
Love for the one who always gets a page no matter what chapter I’m on.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life,
Therefore, every next one I’m in-is a new chapter.
Every morning, I wake up, God’s mercies to me are new-
So, with on my heart, His daily touch- I am able to prove…
That I love Him, that I am thankful-that He is the only One able
To mold and strengthen my life, because it’s so easily breakable.

Just one more day to prove-how much for others I will lose.
And know that my tears for others are real,
Because always for the next person, I’m to lift up-
I’ll lose if they can gain, the Master of the universe to me explains…
That He was there always, and is there forever-
He has placed His Word inside of me. as the greatest Treasure!

A time to be married to my beautiful wife,
A time to live with my kids,
Time and again to prove my life is (for others) to give!
A time to know, a time of notion
A time to grow in the fact connection,
That helping others build, is in-tact protection.

A chapter to heal with the faithful “Unsealed”
Understanding (unworthily) I have been blessed for real!
whether I look back, or pierce through ahead
Life is still permanently on track, my life is hid-my life is dead!
But that’s a good thing…Because it’s the old life that’s dead!

It makes me smile as I cry…
Knowing all the while-my soul will never die!
Rather in eternity-with Christ is life forever,
And best of all, while down here on this earth…
Is to show my schizophrenia has no worth-
Over the grace of God-that I cling to endeavor!

As chance and chapter to prove purity-is more dominant than deceit
With the bowels of the new heart and spirit-God has freely given me!!!

…Amen

4-24-24

To my dearest family friends and fellow readers. This new energy that came through after the solar eclipse is amazing. I had a complete change in my thought and perspectives in life. The lord lifted the veil off my eyes and started showing me all the demonic and nasty energies that were affecting my life. I immediately removed myself from a home that I thought love me in Coldwater, Michigan and ended up growing. The people there had a nasty plot including my husband in which the marriage was paid and fake the whole time, to keep me there steal my energy and then put me in a grave. I should have been dead by all the witchcraft, car accident, and poising that happened. Why am i writing and telling you all this? The moral of the story is that you need to know who you are. As Children of God. This is the year where what happened in the dark will be brought to the light. Freedom for all of us that feel held down or like we couldn’t speak. God has a message for all of us worldwide, we were meant to shine. They don’t want us to get up go out and share our talents with the world. So, I write today get up, go out, show the world both your outer and inner beauty. If we share love like the Beetles said all u need is love accept I’m speaking in a Godly way the darkness will flee. All you need to defeat this darkness is simply prayer and praise. Listen to music dance, write a poem or a story. A new generation starts now we are the light in the world. We are the city on a hill, we will not be shaken. My fellow friends I encourage u to share happiness and healthiness in the world one person at a time. Start a story, start a blog, do discipleship. I’m your biggest cheerleader besides God of coarse. Grab your torch light up the world and win the race. Share joy peace love and happiness with every person you encounter. A smile is the best medicine I’m routing for ya. You Got this world. Get up, Get Dressed, Get to having your success.

Give me peaches like burning clouds.

The vermillion mass of blankets reflects off the Vermilion Great Lakes.

Like the raging sorrow and disbelief that my heart floats upon.

Intensity blooms in the latitude as I see you for the last time.

A weeping willow as I cry under the tree.

Eyes drooping with rainstorms.

Nothing more seems to amaze me.

As the pull of your spirits linger.

Sunshine beams fearlessly through the hurricane of Venus like clouds.

“Be as thy presence is gracious and kind” something you would tell me when my mind tornadoes.

Mind flustered with dazzling memories.

Lightning over me with your nourishing energy that conveys everywhere I drift on Earth.

Our compressed bond brings me back to resilience.

I will always levitate on the sweet joy that you left behind.

People all around have lost their sight
In return has made this world loose its light
Hate and darkness are spread
while people try to hide it all with meds
Instead of opening their eyes they become more blind
which makes the light harder to find
People are becoming more like animals losing sight of humanity
Which is destroying the future you see
We all secretly want the same thing
to truly be loved & not shown pain
We forget to be the person we needed when we were younger
especially when that darkness hit with that Hungers
People can always be the change in this world & save humanity
Even if it just starts with you and little Ol me
Someone must finally open their eyes
To see past all the masks, disguises, & lies
Just as easy as hate can spread
Love & Kindness could be instead
One match can bring light to the dark
The dark cannot overpower the spark
Unless you give that power away
Nobody can make or break your day
Working together for the greater good
Has been somehow misunderstood
It is time we all open our hearts & quit being sheep
Show love instead & let the evil sow what it reap

8 years ago today I defended my Master’s Thesis at the University of Kentucky, titled:

Healthy Reintegration: The Effectiveness of Military Teen Adventure Camp Participation of Adolescent Perceptions of Self-efficacy

I remember the day vividly, I was a nervous wreck, standing in front of a room full of people with my insecurities—believing that somehow everyone witnessing was somehow smarter or better than me.

If I could speak to that version of me at 25, I would tell her that you are enough today and you will only continue to get better. You will go on to complete a PhD at a R1 institution (Florida State University) defending one on many Goliath’s in your life (dissertation) during the onset of covid—against all odds. Ignore the disempowerment and doubt including, the words from your thesis advisor, “If you keep writing like this, Florida State will never accept you into their PhD program”. (Academia really has a unique way of shattering any bit of confidence you have).

I would tell her that being from the south or from a perceived “less than” background won’t hold you back—it is your perceived lack that will fuel your drive to finish whatever you start. It will fuel you to put yourself out there. It will fuel you to leave your comfort zone. It will fuel you to never quit. It will empower your relationship and reliance on God. So run your race boldly and well — you lack nothing and God is always with you (Deut. 31:8)

#chaseyourdreams

The knight elevates the princess
tightening his grasp midair
while they are lost in the brown waves.
Shifting the thread of hair behind
to gain a surpass of what the wave has inside—
the knight elevates the princess.
Giddying as the knight’s veins come through
the heat in the room leaves them breathless:
while they are lost in the brown waves.
The beats sync
taking the space away
the knight elevates the princess.
The grin grows uncontrollably
the palms leaving a trace:
while they are lost in the brown waves.
Continuing to go steady
as they snuggle close.
The knight elevates the princess
while they are lost in the brown waves.