I have smelled early morning dew.
I have felt rain on a cold and sunny day.
I have seen a babe be born.
I have been held by a mother whose presence was all that was needed.
I have watched nature and its peak of beauty.
I have also watched nature at its cruelest.
I have seen Many amazing sunrises.
I have seen just as beautifully, the sun set.
I have touched the face of those with frowns.
I have worn magnificent gowns.
I have felt the muscles of a horse beneath me.
I have tasted the berries and fruit so sweetly.
I have laughed with loved ones.
I have cried with loved ones.
I have married my worst enemy.
I have also married my best friend.
I have had sorrow.
I’ve had joy that never ends.
I have a sang million songs.
I have traveled near and far away.
I have had my heart broken.
I have broken a heart.
I have met thousands of people.
I have lost a few.
I have lost many times in life, just as much as I have won.
I have accepted Christ as my Savoir and learned about the Son.
So it’s not the things that I have done that I regret, but those I have yet to do!

Hello World, did you know Love is sacrifice?,

Fifteen, alone, afraid you’re going to break.

Love is Sacrifice.

Car seats, Diapers, formula too, these holey shoes are great!

Love is Sacrifice.

Rent’s due, school supplies ooph, “oh man, you haven’t ate!”

Love is Sacrifice.

Swing shifts, softball games, there’s no time for that break.

Love is Sacrifice.

Flat tire, prom dress, no money left to cover these greys.

Love is Sacrifice.

College Fees, battered knees, she’s going to do something great!

Love is Sacrifice.

Boquet’s thrown, back alone, man, it’s getting late.

Love is Sacrifice.

She’s back at home, the time has come, a truth she must relate.

Love is Sacrifice.

He’s on the throne, you’re not alone, Mom it wasn’t fate.
He gave his son, for you and I, Grab on and don’t be late.

Love is Sacrifice.

Because of your prayers, I’ll meet you there and boy won’t that be great.

Love is Sacrifice.

Let go Mom, the Lord has won, go into heaven’s gates.
Thank you, God, for your son, who died and made a way.

Love is Sacrifice.

Picture this. An 18 year old, high school senior being tasked to come up with a senior quote before they graduate. Seems pretty easy, right? Well, imagine you are an 18 year old senior in high school whose mind never stops creating stories, poems, and letters. My senior quote literally popped into my head on the way to school one morning. And I live by it every single day.

“Live Your Dreams and Never Give Up.”

One message I have for every person in the world is don’t take life for granted because tomorrow isn’t promised anything can happen to yourself or your loved one. I for one took life for granted and I lost my soul pet, you may ask what you mean by that well If I didn’t go out as much to be with friends or be busy with work and had taken care of my Mitsu aka my black cat he would have still been here with me and not get sick too easily and quickly. One thing I regret is not taking him to the doctor’s first thing instead I waited until he got worse, he was always meowing at night in pain and I always thought he wanted attention, but he was just in pain I think about how I failed as a cat mom because I couldn’t do much at first but overall, I loved and cared for my Mitsu he knew that because everyone abandoned him, abused him, locked him in cages but with me he was free to do whatever and he was happy. I remember every morning he would come into my room by opening the door with his head and get on top of the bed waiting for my mom to give me my breakfast which was tea and biscuits and Mitsu waited for my mom to give him biscuits and once she did, Mitsu ate all the biscuit he could. All the memories I have of Mitsu are blessings I’m glad that I could share my life with him, and that he could share his love and commitment with me, he showed me a pet’s love is pure and more trustworthy than a person’s love because a pet is more loyal than certain people. My message to everyone in the world is don’t life for granted because life isn’t promised tomorrow, life is precious and people and pets are also precious I took life for granted and lost my Mitsu but God gave me another chance on make things right with now my Mocha aka my black kitten spending lots of time with him, taking care of him and making my Mitsu proud from heaven.

What did you want to be when you grew up? A doctor? An astronaut? Maybe a police officer? When I was little, I always said I wanted to be a “typer girl” or a pediatric nurse. But, as I grew older, I realized that I really just wanted to be myself. I was always bullied and gossiped about in school whenever I stuttered during prayer before lunch or when my best friend and I had a secret handshake or when I said I love the Titanic (1997) film. From the music I love to sing to the company I keep, someone always had something to say about it. But, after so long, I learned to ignore those who didn’t like the real me and just focused on those who loved me for me. My advice to is: JUST BE YOU! I always introduce myself as a proudly weird person because I would rather just be myself than someone I’m not. So just remember, always be yourself and don’t ever let anyone tell you any different!

I like the way you try to help others in certain situations and give advice
I like the way you get your eyebrows sharper than a fingernail
I like the way you have a open mind about anything or anyone
I like the way you’re learning how to communicate and be patient
I like the way you have a fear of rollercoasters but aren’t afraid to jump out a plane
I like the way you value alone time even though your friends are awesome
I like the way you smile even when you’re sad some days
I like the way you can sing the alphabet with your mouth closed and type a whole paragraph with your eyes shut
I like the way you’re not afraid to be harsh and be straight-forward with anyone
I like the way you stopped crying everyday for something sad and instead crying for something joyful

It’s been two months since you passed away. I still can’t comprehend it. I’m still grieving and healing, and it’s hard because I still expect you to come into my room and wake me up with your head bumps. I still hear you saying “ma” instead of “meow,” and I remember how you would always try to steal food when I or your grandma started eating. I miss every part of you. You helped me through so much – depression, and anxiety, and you taught me how to be gentle and care for another, even if it has four legs. You taught me responsibility, and I know you were happy in the end. I miss you so much, to the point where I wouldn’t stop crying for missing you.
I believe you’re up in heaven looking down at me, and asking God for a sign, I received one. On June 7th, 2024, I saw a cloud shaped like a black cat, which made me and grandma cry. We believe that even though you’re not physically here, mentally and emotionally, you are. Then, I asked for another sign, and once again I got it. When my coworker heard about my cat’s passing, she offered me a cat for adoption. I immediately said yes because of the sign of the black cat cloud. The next day, my coworker mentioned adopting a black cat, and then my boyfriend found a purple ball with a black cat on it. I felt like my Mitsu was sending me signs. After all that, in three days, I got sign after sign about a black cat and decided I wanted another cat. My coworker and I went to get the cat, but she wasn’t there as she was a stray. However, we later found four black kittens near a school and managed to catch one of them. After treating and cleaning the kitten, I welcomed it into my home. This whole experience led me to find another baby boy in honor of my Mitsu.

Dear Pappy,
It has been 10.5 years since you left us for greener pastures and those golden, pearly gates were taught as children. You only knew me for about 6 years of the 15 years you knew your oldest child had adopted three little girls. By the time I knew your name, you had forgotten mine. Oh, how we miss you. We miss your laughs, your candy jar in your milk house, your coffee cups sitting in your truck and how you loved to play with the youngest children. I miss your stories back when you were younger. I miss you scaring us kids with your false teeth and I miss hearing you say “Now, I love you guys but, I don’t want you fighting.” I miss your kisses on my cheek every time I left your house and mostly, I just miss you. I hope you are taking care of your border collies up there and I hope you are proud of your kids, grandkids, great grandkids and the unborn great-great grandkids that are bound to come into our lives at some point. I wish I could have told you goodbye on your last night but, I know you are no longer in pain and you now know all of us, even those you never got to meet.
-Shay

Dearest readers,
Mozart once said “The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between.” And in the world we live in today, music is everywhere! It’s in the trees, when the birds sing, when the wind blows and even in big cities like NYC! I feel most at peace when I can hear music in my everyday life. I love trying to figure out the melodies in nature and I love trying to hear every day songs in those melodies also. Music has always been a huge part of my life and I hope it never goes away!!

Dear Younger Me,
Why did we worry so much? We were always told not to worry about things we can’t control and yet, we did. Is it because worrying gives a sense of control? Maybe it helps us feel better if we try and figure out why we are worrying about something? Does worrying calm our mind like stimming does for someone on the autism spectrum? Mamaw always told us “you’ll get wrinkles in your forehead if you keep worrying!” and although we have a baby face, she was right. There is no use in worrying over things we can’t control. So, take a deep breath, sit back, listen to some music and just let go.

Dearest Readers,
Have you ever wondered what life would be like without family? I haven’t because I have lived it. Picture this: One Christmas morning, a young teenage girl goes into labor and has a little girl 3 months early. Some time later, she takes that little girl without a thought on how to raise her. After a few, not so nice years, that little girl and her younger sibling was taken away to what was supposed to be a nice home only to find out, this home wasn’t much better than the last. A few months go by and they are placed with a loving couple who are already raising their youngest sibling. Less than a year later, all three children are adopted and taken to their forever home. 25 years later, that place is still home and that loving couple is still their parents. It has been the best life anyone could ask for. Farming, animals, good schooling, sports, etc…That day in September of 1999, was the day the music came alive for the first time and it has never faltered.