When I thought that I was not enough I rendered myself vulnerable. Vulnerable to the lies that felt like admiration, being that vanity was my strong suite. Being considered special beyond merit occupied my sensibility of logic. He love me, he loves me not, they love me, they love me not projected possibilities of a connection within my worth. My worth, what does that intel. At one point in my life, it required me to be a good girl and to just go with the flow. To allow myself to be love bombed with words of affirmation and acts of service, because how could you not love me after all of that, right. Pint up moments of confusion and self-doubt. Am I being punked, where is Ashton, consumes my filtered emotions. Emotions of overwhelmed perception of a bond beyond expectation while trying to enforce self-love. I earned the self-esteem that I, at one point, lacked. I also learned the power of self-love and self-validation and that I can end up being my own kryptonite. Although I might not be everyone’s cup of tea, I now know that I am enough.

Intensified whispers of life’s uncertainty. Desperate inner standing conveying braveness. Hard with no give, gives way to the tramples of urgency undiagnosed. Abstract visualization of informative display. Periodical division imitating strength when all I want is a shoulder to lean on. Shackled limbs mimicking protection while a handheld gesture offers direction. Direction to mercy’s grace and will. The will to fight beyond my optimism for within optimism I blame doubt. Pain numbed awareness, confusing the severity of an affect, that white lining of a barrier breach. Gradual adjustments of healing and hope. My tower moment, my introspection, my change.

Borrowed time, tampered prime, descenigrating lapse of systems.
Taser filled opportunist lumes over sensibility. Exact knowledge of rephrased wisdom. Confiscated mishaps of vengeance paralyzing the, what if. In the midst of flavor verses favor, I prepare a table. Intense undermining of preparation, I convict thee. To serve or not to serve, the facade of the misled. The challenges exceed exhaustive state of forward movement but I stay ready. Tempting thoughts of fragmented steps so you can get ready and when you do, you stay ready!

Suppressed inconsistencies. Unmatched premonition of self loathing and overwhelming destress. Patience steers the wheel of evolution and science fiction. Within belief I’m stricken. Pulsating convictions with immediate results. Camera shy actions of an insult. Take in criticism like a daily vitamin, with self love as your kryptonite and effective communication as a weapon of might, so use it wisely knowing that patience is working in your favor and is usually reciprocated, allowing for forgiveness which frees you from the intercepting vengeance of bondage, while building character, for joy should be effortless, so don’t just exist, live. 🫶🏿

You are stronger and wiser than you know
Your thoughts are stalking you
do not queue any hue that’s not meant for you
People’s opinions of you are their own.
You are stronger than you were yesterday.
continue to forgive yourself for not being able to control the horrific actions of others.
Self-love is necessary for your healing.
It is putting you back together whole and true.
forgive any past actions by acknowledging how they have not served you well.
You will continue to trust the process and your progress.
You will not let the fear of being taken advantage of scare you to stillness.
You will stand up for yourself and tell the truth.
You will do it with dignity and respect.
You will be vulnerable even when it makes you uncomfortable.

Fendi and Gucci are idolized
remaining sane is ostracized
when you stand up against the man, you will be demoralized
my pain runs deep like it’s crystallized
I can’t even front I became hypnotized
I can’t run forever, shit, I’ve already been traumatized
I’m in therapy, like bankruptcy to reorganize
my life changed when I prioritized the beautiful sunrise
it is in this time I came to analyze, and visualize my next sacrifice
I plan to live forever in this paradise

Pending transactions, exemplified male tractions. I hold these truths to be self-evident, that I am the truth, the light, and the way. Mockery of self-gratification interrupts sensory.
Sensory of convenience and stride, that pimped out momentum of pride. I have no doubt, that I can love me, forever, rings in the echoed frustrations of potential.
Potent aids of expectations and security breaches. Unfiltered predictions and passed down sorrows and frictions. Demands of freedom on guard. Stagnant states of undreamt forward movement, projections of enduring.
Endurance of setbacks and pain forgotten, for within victory I’m plotting. Plotting up a role beyond my own initiative. Do not expect less cause in this chapter, I announce recess. Air Bourne opinions, shape shifting emotional bonds and irrelevant feelings.
Irrelevant feelings of acceptance and assurance for God is my rock. On a need-to-know basis redirects traffic, for I am the moderator, the innovator, and the headliner. I am the chapter.

Telisha L Dennis
Saturday-4/20/2024