I started taking up Ballet when I was about six years old. Despite how fleeting it was, I can still vividly recall being in school changing into my pink leotard and shoes my mom had bought me. I also remember doing a few shape and hand-movement coordination that my class had done.

Throughout most of my life, being around my family during gatherings would create space for me to dance and connect with my community while being hyped up by their cheering and smiling faces. Around my early-late adolescent years, I felt as if I was the life of the party around friends and others my age.

I was up to date on all the latest moves and bold enough to share it during dance-offs. I often would imagine myself dancing in music videos. More specifically, dancing with one of my favorite performers as I would constantly watch and mirror every move of hers.

I was no wallflower, which surprised others when they saw me move! However, at some point, all of the partying faded away. There were even no more family gatherings as we once had.

That brings me to now seeing that roughly eight years later, I would be here seriously pursuing my passion as a dancer and sharing the gift to minister light into this world. I could feel deeply within my spirit that I would to some capacity.

At 28 years old, last year in 2023, I recall being out for a meditative walk. I was a bit frustrated with where I was while living with family and not being off yet to where I initially planned to be (moving to California).

However, during that very walk, I felt intuitively led toward a Christian Center right around the corner. Everything within my spirit and surroundings allured me (the birds loudly calling in the dead of winter near the location).

The next day was a Sunday. I attended service and a few more after that. By surprise, one day I was able to see them live on stage. I was then in awe to learn that their creative arts department had a dance team.

For a brief moment, I had let fear get the best of me by telling myself “I’ll join in somewhere else here… I’ll join the poetry small group”. Undeniably, dance is a part of what makes me passionate about the flow of music and the freedom to move.

On the contrary, my previous encounter with stepping into this space did not go well!!! I was in my second semester at Western Michigan University when I had taken contemporary dance and music exploration as electives that I was excited to take.

Unfortunately, depression (which I thought would subside after winter break) was staring at me right in the face. Showing up for classes was a struggle to keep up on my main courses, let alone electives. While I was sitting in my dorm room contemplating what I would do. I had decided to drop dance.

I felt so embarrassed on my last day being there. While gliding across the floor in groups, my focus had my mind and body moving opposite from the crowd, causing me to stand out like a sore thumb.

Now, I’ve come to realize the question “If you had a second chance at this, to do anything, would you take it?” I said YES to taking a real chance this time around! I asked whomever I could to inquire about joining their CAD Department. Eventually, I was sitting in on my 1st official practice.

My 1st audition for a part felt like a stretch emotionally. I felt my spirit needing to fully “break out.” However, I still felt some resistance and energy to work through.

I was selected for the part as my potential was louder than the resistance.
Ironically, being back to living with relatives longer than I had planned had become where I have been planted to grow, be challenged to reach, and develop!!!

One year later, at age 29, I am still dancing and developing with my team at Love Life in every way. I now understand the love and support the universe has in store for me this time. It carries me while living out my fullest potential! Also, there are people who genuinely hold me accountable with the honesty and nurturing criticism needed.

I’ve danced quite a few collaborative solos. I even helped to choreograph a number as well. It seems that some callings somehow seem to call back when a time is more convenient. As for me, it’s a dial of grace called destiny.

As your mom, I birthed you
And held you in my arms,
I cuddled you as I tried
Shielding you from harm.
Though many years I have missed
Wishing I could go back,
Even though I did not see you
My love for you did not lack.
A few years ago, when I met you
Was the best day of my life,
That filled a missing piece as
My life started to feel right.
The day of your accident
We never left your side
Through the tears and prayers
We were hoping you were all right.
The day we had to say goodbye
Definitely shattered us all,
When I got home to the kids
All I could do was fall.
It’s not the same without you
For this is extremely hard for me,
I did not get enough time
Before you had to leave.

I wish I could wake up in the morning
To a house that’s prepped and made
No dishes or mess to clean up
The laundry is folded and put away

I wish that I was understood
That my efforts were noticed
And in return the context clues I love to scatter
Get swept up by loved ones
Offering to return the favor

I wish that I could walk the streets late at night
No mace or pepper spray in my line of sight
My keys are meant to unlock my door
Not clenched between my knuckles
Waiting to be bore

I wish that I could shake the hands
Of each passerby I encounter
Grinning widely from cheek to cheek
Exchanging pleasantries and
our hopes for the future
Morals aligning and feeling at ease
Knowing many people feel the same as me

I wish I had one perfect day
To rest and partake in hobbies
No work to stress
Just reading my favorite books in hotel lobbies
I would sing and dance and play in the rain
No anger left, no unresolved pain

Because womanhood is often a burden
That at times feels like a tyrant warden
Patiently waiting until my time is served
And knowing my aptitude is mildly absurd
But I often hope for the little things
Because to me they feel like extraordinary wins
And when this mindless duty is fulfilled
My perfect day will be without guilt

To the one I come home to
Each and every time
When it seems like no one else is there
I find myself with you again

I won’t pretend that my love is perfect
I’ve abandoned, I’ve betrayed
But you continue to accept my flaws
And for this I love you so

Because anyone can forget and move on
But to forgive is the strongest power there is
I find relief in your strength
And comfort in your trust

It’s funny the ways in which we accept only the love we think we deserve
Although it would be so nice to write about the beauty of self love
The truth is that the self can be hard to love
And I’ll admit, I’m still trying to learn just how to

It’s the external influence that surrounds you
And having your voice silenced
By those who are in a position to lead you
That makes this love so hard sometimes

It’s the generational trauma
The demoralizing behavior passed down
Through a world of dysregulation
And incredible misguidance

It’s true that love is learned
In the early years of life
But when no good examples exist
How does one navigate with the heart?

The young mind absorbs like a sponge
The screaming, the fighting, and everything in between
This is what becomes home
So all my life, I’ve sought for chaos around every turn

My favorite thing about you is that you learned how to love
After being brought up in an environment deprived of it
Either because your body needed it
Or the world needed to see it

Twenty seven years I’ve gotten to know you
I’ve seen you flourish and fail
I’ve seen laughter and tears
The crazy thing about growth is it never ends

So I’ll continue to learn just who you are
And what you need in this reality
To understand the depths of your heart
I realize is a constant expression

I love you for giving me space to cry
The way the men in my life never would
During times when my emotions needed to flow
Like rain needs to fall

I love you for staying with me while I tripped
Over the ones who couldn’t see my worth
I spent years trying to find “the one”
When it was you the whole time

I love you for being proud
Even though the voices told you you weren’t good enough
You found a way to break the cycle
Of generational shame

I love you for your curiosity
The same curiosity I used to call stupid
I’m sorry for calling you stupid
When you were just trying to learn

I love the way that you crave connection
And the way that you find it
To dive headfirst with nothing but a handful of vulnerability
Is a hard thing to do in this world

You explore far beyond your own skin
A superficial life will not do
Rather, you spin circles in the gravity of your own soul
Searching far and wide for meaning untold

I look forward to continuing this love
You are my body, my soul, my everything in between
You are the one I come home to
And the one I call self

Here we are
22 years later
We smile, show teeth
The glow is upon our face
In the mirror
We no longer critique ourselves so negatively
We see a perception of time that is you
Recognizing Beauty
To finally accept us
You Love You
This is the woman you’ve longed to become
Our soul is at peace
Subconsciously we can hear the joys of a no longer battle
With our Competing Minds
Within Loving me we feel alive
You notice when you love you that you feel everything ten times better
From The wind you hear ruffling through the trees
To the stars you see at night shines brighter than ever before
You laugh so effortlessly
You let yourself be loved
Inside you have this feeling of light
Light that is not hiding behind the shadows of reject, loss of self respect
No dim light in sight
Opinions have no effect if negative, you take it like a grain of salt
It’s okay if they leave, we let them
& Leva ( Live)
Our beauty, Our Love within continues to grow , to prosper
A Muse a perception of me of true harmony
Can you hear the angels singing?
Our skin tinglingly
Our hair growing
Our crown showing
Here lies me
Coming out of the shadows
Using voice of reason
Understanding loving within & what it means to be loved
A magnificent thing loving you is
How it can make you hear the birds chirping around you
The sun shining on you
It’s a bliss
A reality
We are now
Present &
I Accept me
I truly love me

February 2, 2024

Self-Reflection

To be honest, I haven’t seen myself like this before… Embodying who I really am at core.

Valuing depth in connections… While being open for correction, my mind & heart is on one accord.

I am emotionally secured, more matured and all of that for sure.

Loving OUT LOUD, as my intentions are pure. “Lub- Dup” a sound that beats enough to end a war!

Feeling through moving waters, as it balances my reflection against the sun’s glow.

Unshakeable Ms. Mountain on a hill. Aware

that resting here is not always comfortable as I’d hope for.

Recently, I’ve discovered a string of things that tries to somehow still hold me back… so, I ask how deep does my layers lie? Is it really intact?

Home, going within the house to unpack…Alarming? I must have forgotten the code being too tough of a shell to crack. No one is perfect, I’m steadily learning to embrace that.

I was built from love, while ego tries to misplace it.

Splitting while the foundation crumbles, I had to see it through to heal and learn from my mistakes before molding something other.

I choose to look at the scars to face what I see within.

That’s both the beautiful and ugly which once knocked me down, just to get back up again because I love me. Acting with love. . . that takes courage!!! “Me-time” of self care to well nourish

I always state that “Love is maintenance” believing that I am more than worthy of it. The pain of discipline sometimes would take me under

From set backs, memories and dysfunction. Carrying me is the love that started from somewhere ethereal, way before my Grandmother’s comfort.

I rediscovered, no wonder who I am when I did encounter God! Open invitation, accepting the fact that I can love my self like this, without conceit… Really? Wow!!!

It’s still no excuse for me to be naïve while re-learning who I am, from whom I once known

myself to be… that’s something!

I am both Zen & Lit. Sharpened, yet humbled with a bit of bumble… I’m ready to rumble, if I am called to sting… solidly vibrates just as a bell rings

Gracefully open for arriving at my own timing. It’s so nice to finally be here!

The woman that the child within in me could not wait to meet. The poetic, romantic… the dancer who swiftly sways, right and left feet.

As we harmonize with love, I give thanks in advance while loving even more of the lady I am becoming…Continue on love because you’re on to something!

Best,

-Self

Endless Smiles
Heart unbroken
Life looking up for you
Looking at the girl of your dreams
Doing what you love
Writing more
It’s your passion
Spread your voice
Let them hear you
It’s okay
Don’t be scared anymore
To let it show how talented you are
Express
I’m sure it’ll have them impressed
But again you’re not doing it for them
You write for you
It brings such joy
Puts an instant smile on your face
Lets Embrace
No more hiding in the shadows
This is our year to show who we really are
Not what others want to believe
Protect your peace
Go with the flow
Let it be
We are truly smiling again

The moment i locked my eyes on yours
It felt like magic
An instant connection
All we did was smile at one another
We knew what it was
It was
Love at first sight
For the first time in my life
I felt a feeling i haven’t felt before
It’s not the same old saying
Oh i like her cause she’s different from the rest
No
It’s a feeling where my heart beats a million beats a minute
It’s pounding out my chest to the
Sound of your voice
By the way you look at me
Your intellectual mind
Your touching soul
Your glowing smile
How big you heart is
Mi amor i truly am thankful for you
And all you do
You show me you love me
That you care
You have my heart
I wish to not part
To this special woman i love
I’ve fallen in love
You make my life worth while
You take my away from my reality
Only you are not a dream my love
You are real and true
I get lost in you
I never thought it was gonna be like this
Such a bliss
You amaze me
This is true
Baby soon you’ll know it’s true
How grateful i am for you
I’ll express how i feel
To show you what i feel is real

My best self is truly joyful
Not letting the little things bother
Live with ease
Proceed with caution
Not everyone has pure intentions
Stop giving to those whom don’t give back
Don’t Stress on situations you can’t control
Be you
No matter what
Don’t let anyone change the woman you have become
You’ve come such a long way
Through pain in the past
To get you where you are now
You are Poet
You are a Singer
You are a true writer
Here’s to sharing your story with the world
Using your words and melody
Smiling even though you’re hurting
This growth i see
This Vision
Our Journey is here
It’s Ours
Patience is key
Persistence is needed
Be Consistent
You are no longer distant
You are me
We are one
Us as one will become
Everything we dreamed of
In time we will see
What it takes to
Express me

There is no doubt that one of my favorite motivational quotes is “Be the change that you wish you see.” Herstory told, they would like to repeat it…

Like how everyday I choose to defy the odds of struggle. Abundantly filled to navigate new heights… An unshakable force of humble.

Someday they’d say “Yeah, she did talk about making change…” but I hope that they actually can see it!!!

I’d love to tell them how I did it… and that everything in life is intentionally done for a reason. I let my guards down, enough standing on defense.

I challenged the flaws, to know whatever is underneath it. Impacting the masses is the goal that I’m reaching.

Bigger than me… My life is bigger than me!!!

I am devotedly aiming towards doing the best things. Learning that all of the better things in life are not free.

I am actively working my light within my art, family, and community.

I’ve sacrificed it all, but this mission to help others involved truly helping myself to start. It shows more than something when freedom calls!

I have all the answers that I need divinely a dial away. All I have to do is let them in and say “Thank you for leading the way!”

It’s important for the picture, pouring into myself. Mixed emotional colors create art that’s good for one’s health.

Developed within trusting the process… I had no clue I’d see it like this.
In order to get clearer, I push past the resistance.

I am a leader! I choose to be the one to reach back to uplift & help other people out!!

As I reminisced about 5 cents ago, all of it did not add up… but, merely relying on money just was not enough.

I am purposeful.

I embrace this with gladness, that the shift that I vibrate while in this world is peace beyond the madness.

Dear thriving woman,

I am beyond grateful that this message has found you well!!! I knew deeply within my heart that one day you would get to read this. I would like to start off by saying THANK GOD for allowing you to still be here to experience the life that you have co-created for yourself. Valencia, I am so proud of you! How do those roses smell for you now that you finally get to accept them in full bloom? How does the fresh fruit taste from all of those seeds that you have planted?! Ha!

Undoubtedly, you have grown tremendously over these past years. After all of the adversity, triumph’s and dedication towards advancing along your path… you have come a long way. Who knew that after attempting suicide as a teen, being homeless on a few occasions (but further on learning that as long as you had family or friends to stay with, technically their home WAS your home as well), being unemployed (while still somehow being supported), and overcoming depression that it would all lead to these situations helping to shape you into the woman that I am reading this today… I’ll tell you who… You did! “God did!!!” (As the saying goes).

As you know, God did not give you anything that you could not handle. You are so very brave to press forward, bettering your circumstances. That was only just part of the fuel that has driven you to reach your fullest potential. Even as a young girl you have always felt that there was much more to life than what was being presented within your surroundings. You are one of your inner child’s biggest dreams come true! It is a blessing to have truly rediscovered your authentic self and boldly walking in that light. I thank you for making peace with your past and choosing to live without any regrets.

Look at all that you have accomplished!!! Although your upbringing has had its waves of dysfunction and unhealthy patterns that you’ve had to unlearn, you have still managed to create a beautiful family unit of your own. I recall your desire for you all to hold a healthy, supportive and nurturing connection… That part was extremely important because you knew that it was possible for you to experience! Plus, you get to do meaningful/ purposeful work as a multi-talented creative, advocate for holistic health, healing tools/services, philanthropist and motivational speaker…landing a few of your very own major events alongside your amazing team. Another thing to mention is to have traveled around the world and connected with God’s blessings in various forms (culture, land, food, etc.) It is a blessing to experience having a positively abundant life doing all the things that lights you up, it helps to light the world up!

The positive impact that you are making all over the world is beyond remarkable. It only took you one leap and many brave steps for you to know and trust that the divine was (and still very much is) backing you EVERY STEP of the way. Sheesh… girl you knew that the universe was gonna bless you with far more than you could have even imagined, so don’t act surprised!!! You are whole, healthy, successful, loving/loved unconditionally, a leader, creative, a healer, a woman of divine faith, a loving wife, mother, and mentor. All while being genuinely joyfull while being so, I may add. This is exactly what it means to embrace the journey and trusting the process towards reaching the destination.

My humble words of encouragement going forward: Never stop dreaming, (those dreams are your heart’s desires in rare form, only because it’s up to YOU to truly see them) aim high!!! Your potential is still very much unlimited. I love you!!!