I’ve been going through some things…

I had a dream, it was something like Dr. Kings.
I had a dream, it was something like Dr. Kings
But I aint have the answers Sway, so I went somewhere and prayed.

I pray one day we all take the time out to read, so our minds will be set free. Slow down and end the programming of the music & the T.V.

I pray we become more conscious of the things we consume, redefine what we call food.
I pray we learn to nourish our mind, body & soul.
I pray one day as a people we become whole.
I pray one day, as brothers and sisters we can tend and mend each others broken wings.
I pray we can learn to do things from our heart, and not just to be seen.

I pray we truly believe we can fly! Without a basketball, backwood, sheets and funnel or whatever method it is you use to get high.

I pray we stop living just to get by.
I pray we use our voices to sing to the most high.
I pray we look in the mirror, acknowledge and turn from our wicked behavior. For let a man examine himself.

I pray we stop bragging about riches and strive for wealth. I pray we stop playing the game for self, the only way to win is to not even play.
I pray we all can sit and learn to pray.

I’m not a player, I’m a prayer.
I pray that those who think they have to keep it on them, pray that they never have to use it. It’s a war within ourselves and some things I pray we can learn to leave on the shelves and at the altar.

I pray we unlearn all the detrimental things they’ve taught us.
I pray we realize it’s a spiritual war for our souls, and that it’s all mental.
I pray we realize that sex is sacred, and learn to respect our temples.
I pray that when it gets dark, you can be light for your peers.
I pray that this prayer fall on open ears.
I pray we all learn to face our fears.

I pray we can acknowledge each other by name.
I pray that you recognize, I am you and you are me. We’re one in the same.
I pray we learn to hate fame. I pray that your spirit is renewed. Realizing you’re a fearless, righteous, educated and strong human. That’s F.R.E.S.H.

I pray you know you’re not lucky. But yes, you are blessed. And yes, I pray this prayer outlives me.
I pray you share and soak up all of this knowledge and wisdom I’ve given from my heart for free. Amen

We always get asked what’s your ideal “perfect day,”
As I’ve gotten older, it’s changed in so many ways.
The place I’m at in my life, it’s very simplistic,
Especially since I’ve grown, aged and learned so much about myself.
A perfect day for me is actually by myself,
It’s an every Friday thing that I always do.
Waking up to sun shining bright through my window,
As I open the shades in my apartment to embrace nature.
I start my day drinking warm water to open my stomach,
Then making myself a good breakfast which consists of waffles, a muffin and fruit.
Next comes stretching my body and packing my bag,
To venture out into the world, embrace and appreciate nature.
I put on my helmet, put on my earplugs, put my backpack on my back,
Hopping on my bike to go on a nice bike ride through my neighborhood.
As I ride my bike and cross streets, I’m appreciating the sunlight hitting my skin,
As my eyes look at the world from behind my sunglasses.
I look at the mountains as it becomes beautiful scenery,
Making my way to a long bike path to get a few miles in.
The music playing can be anything from hip-hop to lofi music,
Most of the time, it’s a playlist I created where I don’t skip songs.
There are people on the path walking or biking, sometimes it’s a good morning,
Most times, it’s just me being in the moment and thinking about nothing.
After three miles, it’s off to the basketball court,
To get a workout in where it’s me, my basketball and the rim.
For an hour and a half, it’s working out, people watching and listening to music,
There isn’t a care in the world, no lists to do, no phone calls,
No social media, no text messages, my world is quiet.
After a workout, it’s resting and recovering my body,
Friday nights sometimes consist of me watching something that will give me content ideas.
It’s reflection of my week, goals I’ve accomplished, talking to my mom,
She always finds a way to say something funny and we crack jokes.
It’s funny how as we get older, life becomes simpler,
It’s the little things that make us happy and feel fulfilled.
The joy and happiness I feel spending time in nature brings perspective to my life,
It’s what I’ve longed for and now, it’s become a beautiful reality…

Jamell Crouthers

What is a perfect day? Well, in all honesty, there’s no such thing. I could sit here and think about all the things that make life seem perfect. I’d rather not. That would make way for my mind to validate why other days aren’t “perfect”. Life is life. There’s no way around it.

Perfect is undefinable, an opinion. An opinion I’m learning to stay away from after chasing it for most of my life. I’ve learned trying to be perfect and looking for perfection is a downhill spiral. I will never be truly happy in search of this. I’ve tried to be perfect in academics and sports, yet I’ve always been extremley hard on myself when I mess up. I’ve tried finding the perfect significant other, yet look for every reason why they aren’t. I’ve tried to be perfect at my job, yet feel guilt when I can’t do everything the exact way I want it to. The list goes on.

But guess what? I am human! Humans aren’t meant to be perfect. We are meant to fail and learn. We are meant to get embarrassed and be humbled. We are meant for rejection and leaning into introspection. Humans are meant to make a fool of themselves and change into the person they want to become. Nobody gets out of here perfect, and if someone acts as if they do, they’ve lost touch with reality.

I’m learning to be grateful for the small things. I’m learning to have hope when I feel like giving up. I’m learning life isn’t all or nothing. I’m learning giving my best is going to different at times and that’s okay. I don’t need to wait until I feel things are perfect to take action. I take action, giving it my best effort that day, and there’s nothing more I can do.

To be honest, I still feel I’m trying to find the perfect sentences, the perfect thoughts, to produce the perfect writing piece. But hey, I’m a human and still on my learning journey. Embracing truth within myself and the world and learning to be real is my new defined definition of what I thought I was searching for in perfection.

I stayed in bed
until I reached
the outskirts of morning.

The birds gave pep talks
instead of songs.

I got changed
and found ten dollars
in my pocket.

It’s summer but it rained
and I wonder why nobody
has made laundry powder
that smells exactly like this.

I make the perfect eggs.

The toaster
that loves to burns the edges
leaves them edible.
I thank it for its kindness.

I go outside and jump in a puddle.
There is still that childhood dream
that it will be a portal
to an alternative dimension.
One where Netflix didn’t cancel the OA.
One where we could trade
our sadness for money.
Gosh, would I be filthy rich.

Me and the neighbour
do our awkward dance.
The small talk jive.
We bow and say
‘have a nice day!’
We really mean it.

I walk to the coffee shop
and the sky is still
rubbing sleep from its eyes.

The wind is playing solos
on telephone wires.

I hold the door for a stranger
and we share a smile.

I tell the barista a joke
and we both laugh
at how unfunny it is.

I take the ten dollars
and order a flat white, one sugar.
I say keep the change.

I find a bench, and I ruminate.

I realise
Happiness is right here –
why are we crying
like it is so far away?