Dear Younger Self,Right now, you’re just getting used to the country world you live in North Carolina. Life seems simple. You listen to your parents. You have your sisters teaching you your ABCs and pretending that you’re in a classroom with toy animals, getting you prepared for kindergarten. As you become a kid. You enjoy the time you spend with your family and other relatives that give you a taste of their world and what it’s like. I wish I could tell you that your journey will be smooth sailing from your youth to your present self, but, I would be doing a big disservice to you by not telling you the truth in a genuine way.

From when you start school (and outside of school) you will endure countless challenges that will test your will and your mental strength. You will have a tough time making friends because you’re just wired differently from other kids. You will start to have doubts about yourself and believe that something is wrong with you.

You’ll ask yourself ”Why can’t I connect with most of my classmates? or ”Why are they so mean to me? I’m just trying to fit in and figure things out.

The world outside of school will slowly become harsher and meaner as you get older. You’ll have experiences like asking an adult if you can use their phone to call your dad after marching with your JROTC group, only for them to give you a nasty look and keep walking away. You’ll even experience harsh lessons with your own family members on how cold the world can be. The more reality tries to get you to accept these truths, the more defiant you become in not accepting these truths.

Your optimistic mind refuses to accept that it’ll always be this way. But, the relentless negative experiences will begin to wear you down throughout your middle school, high school & your early 20s. You will start to feel like you’re losing your core self, being around people who don’t have your best interests at heart and who love tearing down others. You’ll have many nights when you just break down and let out your pain, after holding in too much in for so long. But, don’t fret younger self, the story will get better.

Life will start to make sense in your mid-20s. You’ll start to see a way out of the tall forest. You’ll run into people who like you for you and who you can open up with on a deep level. Some people you’ll come across on the internet and others offline. They’ll even help you find out or rediscover who you really are. You’ll begin to blossom and have the courage to love yourself with pride & show it to the world (even if others don’t have that same love for you). You’re going to be battle-tested in ways you won’t believe. But, these battles will show you how strong and tough you really are. You won’t see it while you’re growing up, it’ll take years to see the results of your trials and tribulations. But you will see and be glad about your progress. You will also learn that guys who looked tough and strong, won’t last long on their journey. Some of them were killed in their early 20s being around an environment that doesn’t allow people to grow in a positive way. But you (and others) got out.

You have a long road ahead of you, but the destination will be so sweet when you get to your present self, and the best part is your present self is still growing and evolving. So to my younger bubbly self, I say rejoice and take your battles with glee. I wish I could have don’t that, knowing what I know now.

TO RESPOND AND WRITE BACK TO MY LETTER CLICK HERE

Dear Family Member,

It’s hard to believe that we’ve known each other for nine years now. It feels more like five years than nine. That’s how much fun & a blessing this journey has been for me. I’m so grateful that we crossed paths.

To think, it all started by meeting each other on a website called Christianity Oasis.

After messaging other members & being in a good mood, I almost logged off that site for today, but, for some reason, I decided to hang around a little longer.

So I stayed looking at a quiet chatroom for several minutes. And then you arrived. I thought one of the other members would say something to speak to you, but, no one was typing.

”Hello?”, you said

Still nothing from no one else. So, finally, I replied back, just to make you feel welcomed. Just from our first interaction, I could sense you were a really kind person. Plus, I was glad to make you laugh too.

We would chat a few more times on Christianity Oasis before moving to Yahoo to talk. After chatting on Yahoo for a while, then we started messaging each other on Facebook & then Glide.

The positive impact you were having on me was already enormous. Like, teaching me things like how to do taxes online or how to cook French Toast.
Your big heart for others inspired me to share that same love for those that want/need it. Despite my best efforts, It’ll never be as much as the love you send to others.

You would embrace me like I was a member of your family (who I loved).

The biggest impact you had on me, I didn’t see coming until it came to pass. You would start sharing the blogs you were writing on this site called WordPress.

It had me curious to read your writings. It was great to read about your early life & how things were in the 60s/70s from your perspective. I couldn’t get enough of reading your blogs & then you would stop writing them.

At first, I thought maybe you were taking a break from them. But, then, the more time had passed since your last blog, the more it sunk in, that you weren’t gonna share any more of your early adventures.

A month or two later, curiosity would push me to start writing blogs of my own. I opened up a WordPress account & started writing about a Saturday morning of watching cartoons.

When I typed, it was as if the words were flowing from my hands like a waterfall. This just felt…right. After finishing my first post, I felt great.
”That was fun”, I thought.

I couldn’t wait to write the next idea I had for a blog. Once again, I let the words flow from my hands to the WordPress page.

The topic was about the loaded Western Conference & the Lebron Conference for the upcoming 2017-2018 NBA season. Another blog is done. I would get my first like ever with that post.
That really made me feel good! It felt like I was onto something with this writing thing.

The third blog is when I began sharing my writings on Facebook. I thought maybe one or two of my family/friends would react to it. To my surprise, I had seven of them respond positively to my blog. I was stunned.

I would continue to write & learn how much creativity I had buried inside of me that needed to be released. My writing journey would lead me to other writing sites like Booksie, Medium, Newsbreak & eventually… The Unsealed.

All this was possible because of you.

It’s because of you, I’ve learned to be more open than I was in the past. I’ve also become a better person over these last nine years. And finally, it’s because of you, that Gerald the writer/storyteller was born four years ago.

I could never thank you enough for the overwhelming impact you’ve had on my life. It won’t stop me from trying though.

Gratefully,

Dear Mom,
It’s me, your oldest son…Junior.
I should speak to you more through prayer, but, I haven’t, which is my fault.
It’s hard to fathom, but, it’s been 20 years since we last saw each other on Earth. The world has changed a lot (good and bad) since you passed away in 2001.

For a long time, I struggled to talk about you to people I knew when they would ask about you -  because the deep sadness & emotions I felt would rise up within me.

I would do my best to remain as stoic as I could, but inside, that confused 12-year boy was crying to be released and to express the overwhelming feelings he had when he lost you.

It felt like I was going to see you cook those wonderful meals, watch you shop for things that you wanted forever, or see you watch those soap operas you loved. And then one day I see you in the hospital thinking I was gonna see you recover to be your normal self, only to learn that it would be the last time I would see you.

I’ve thought about that moment throughout the years, and each time, it makes my grief stronger. I wish I could see you somehow or hear your voice. It’s gotten so bad that I can’t remember what your voice sounded like. That makes me really sad.
I grieve for you and how you were robbed of getting to live a long life as Betty White did. I also grieve for the many lost experiences that we never had together & the positive ones that you would have made with so many people you had yet to meet.

Your untimely passing was the ultimate lesson in how unfair life can be. It was also the first major step in shattering how the world was in my optimistic head. But, I take some comfort in knowing you have great company up there with you.

For years, I was in denial about an obvious truth, which is, I missed you, and wish you were still here in 2021. You must be smiling from heaven at your four children. Your two grandchildren must also have you smiling with their bubbly & kind spirits.

Dad talks about you more now than he has in years. Each time he mentions you, it’s in a positive way.

You’re missed mom, by a lot of people. Even though your life was short, you left quite an impact on me through your loving demeanor.
I just hope I’ve made you proud so far, even though I still have a long journey ahead in life (God willing). It’s been a tough road trying to figure things out, but, in recent years, the road has gotten smoother than ever before.

Every day I honor you, by being the best person I can be, doing good to others, uplifting others who need it & emphasizing with people who had similar experiences in losing a loved one dear to them.
I hope to see you in the spirit someday, until then, I’ll honor you as long as I’m around in the flesh.

As the new year arrives
I’m grateful that in 2021, I’ve taken tremendous strives

The courage & belief in self really blossomed this year
After years of my mind being controlled by fear

I’m really excited for 2022
Hopefully, we’ll all make it through

There are so many things I want to do
Like continuing to grow as a writer & go back to school, just to name a few

I embrace the surprises that will come along the way
It also helps to have fun & play.

So, I’m ready for the great year, that’ll be 2022
I hope you are too.

Dear Future Butterflies,

The ones that are having a hard time fitting in with their peers. I see you guys sitting in your school gym listening to a speaker that doesn’t give you any encouragement for your future.

Right now, I know many of you feel lost in a world that’s giving you confusing messages on who you are and who you should be. You’re made to believe that you’re supposed to be tough all the time or be a bully & terrorize other kids, but, that’s not who you are deep inside your heart.

The school world probably isn’t helping bring out those characteristics about yourself that make you ”you”. Nor are your loved ones (bless their hearts). They’ve already picked certain students who they believe will be future stars and left ones like you behind because they see no value in you.

You want to cry and take your anger out on those who mistreat you, but, you’re afraid, that you don’t have the strength to defend yourself. You have more power inside than you think. You just haven’t been allowed to see it yet. A long adventure awaits you.

I was like many of you for a long time. I had a hard time showing the qualities that made me feel alive -  because the environment I was around didn’t allow them to grow into healthy flowers. I grew up in a small town in North Carolina for the first fifteen years of my life. I would discover my love for History and Reading there.

A lot of kids I knew, didn’t share the same love that I had for those two things, so, it was impossible to make friends because the boys I knew were into making fun of others, fighting, and establishing dominance over others.

Those things never interested me so I became a target of their cruel games. They enjoy bullying me and making me feel low whenever they had the chance. Enough bullying had happened that they got their wish. My self-esteem was in the negatives. That bubbly kid died in middle school.

I became quiet and only said the bare minimum just to get by without anyone picking on me. It would take years for me to finally rejoice and embrace the qualities of myself that are a part of me. It was a long journey into learning more about myself.

While my peers had seemed like they had figured their life out and were doing great things, I remained behind just trying to make sure I don’t take the wrong path in life for most of my 20s.

The amazing part is I would start coming across people online & offline in my 20s that would help me find the path where I’m on today. Now at 32, my self-esteem is in a better place than it’s ever been. I can’t wait to see my progress in five years.

I share my love for history out in the open. I also would discover this amazing gift called writing -  thanks to a close friend I met on a social media site that I remain close with to this day.

If someone from the future told me that my life would change 20 years ago, I wouldn’t believe them– because of the mental state I was in at the time.

Like me, you’ll discover people who will bring those amazing qualities you have out of you and made you feel safe being who you are.

I wish I could tell you that your journey would be easy, it may be a tough one for you. Rejoice though, you’re gonna make it. Just trust the process, even when it gets painful (which is a hard challenge).

You’ll do a lot of inner work on yourself, a lot of it will be uncomfortable. You’ll read articles that talk will make you feel bad about yourself. You’ll even have a lot of self-loathing moments.

You’ll even be mad at yourself for not having the courage to stand up for yourself when you were younger. All of the hardship & pain you’ll go through is to produce a strong human being.

So, I hope this message empowers you, you’re journey is just beginning and I hope to see you on the other side someday.
I wish you all much success,