I cannot keep standing with you,
waiting with you,
crawling with you,
trying with you,
and dying with you…
while you continue to throw stones at the pillars of my strength,
while you continue to hurl your crumbled burdens deep into my soul,
while you continue to stick your daggers dipped with venom deep into the roots of my spirit.
For it is hard enough for me to pick up your broken pieces,
all the while trying to hold onto my own.
But you see,
you’ve been too busy ripping me apart piece by piece,
you’ve been too busy tearing me apart piece by piece,
you’ve been too busy shredding me apart piece by piece,
you’ve been too busy killing me,
destroying me, diminishing me and my innerpeace,
in order for you
to see what I have unselfishly placed underneath your feeble feet,
just so you could be able to stand high amongst the stars.
So forgive me as I ask of you,
forgive me as I demand of you,
and as a matter of fact,
do not forgive me at all…
as I scream to you,
step down off of my now dreamless dreams,
so they may finally run free and wild…
never to be tamed again.
Step off of my now hopeless hopes,
so they may feel the wonder and beauty of the unseen horizons again.
Step off of my now broken wings,
so they may heal and proudly unfurl and caress the skies again.
Step down off of my sacrifices,
for my brokenness shall no longer be the gifts that you refuse to see.
©️
by t.stokes

I know you may feel weak at times, but in those moments I want you to remember what makes you strong. It’s your ability to create beauty out of pain. To find wisdom in the aches. And fill the empty spaces of my broken heart with love. What makes you strong is the way you allow yourself to fall apart and break. What makes you strong is the way you put those broken pieces back together like a heart shaped mosaic. This is also what makes you beautiful. Your ability to see the beauty in everything, and share that beauty with those open to receiving.

Like when your home was falling apart and toxicity filled the walls. You made sure that your little sister was still happy. You did what you could to show her the beauties of this life regardless of what was going on around you, which required you yourself to see the beauty in the little things and share that with her. You protected and guarded her with love. Or like the time you were struggling financially yet you still found ways to enjoy life and help her do the same with what we had, and when we lost our home though it was tough, you didn’t give up on life. You still knew that there’s more out there, you still found gratitude for the little things, though you didn’t have much you focused on what you did have and found beauty in the little moments. Like the walks in the park, or our late night bike rides, finding beauty in the warmth of the sun and the twinkles of the stars, finding gratitude for the freedom you felt each time you got on that bike and had the opportunity to go wherever you desired. You remained grateful for each breath you took,  each meal you ate and each person that helped you in any way. You see, your grateful, kind, loving heart & vulnerability is a strength not a weakness. It’s much more daunting to take off the masks, put down the walls, and let your heart love freely. 

Vulnerability is your strength because it gives people something they could potentially use against you. It gives people the opportunity judge and ridicule you for your true feelings and beliefs. 

It’s also allows you the opportunity to connect with others heart to heart. To honor yourself by honoring your truth. 

You also, aren’t afraid to look deep. To acknowledge a feeling as it arises and follow it down to its root, even if it’s one that’s painful, you still do your best to sit with that pain and learn its story. The way you dive deep into the dark seas of the unknown is courageous. Not knowing what lies beneath the surface you take that risk of getting hurt by what you come across when you dive in past the uncertainty. That requires a bravery not everyone has. Though at times you may fall subject to the distractions and forms of suppression towards unpleasant experiences and feelings. You always come around and take a deeper look at them when you regain your consciousness. You are strong because you do your best to honor your feelings. You are strong because you wear your heart on your sleeve. You have the heart to get through anything and find the deeper meaning to it all. You have an undeniable strength, so whenever you feel weak, defeated or depleted, remember this. Feel into your heart, soft and loving yet strong and powerful. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. So read this as many times as you need, until it’s ingrained in your brain that you are as strong, willful and powerful as can be. 

Love,