2024 – New Year, New Me!

You know the same thing we ALWAYS say!

What makes this year so different?

My levels of Effs to give.

I’m walking into 2024 with full knowledge,

I will became the villain in a lot of peoples reality.

Honestly, that makes me feel content

Because that means I’m becoming the hero I deserve to be in my reality.

Look, it’s a bird, it’s a plane,

Nah – its Antoinette taking her power back.

I’m a mom, daughter, wife, friend and the list goes on

But most importantly – I AM ME!

I have been in a cocoon; realizing I’m embarking on an evolution.

I’m excited to spread my beautifully crafted wings wide and proudly!

My wings will bring boundaries that will lead to a limitless life!

My wings will gift me a little blue book.

My little blue book of adventure and memories!

I will break the chains placed on me from generations past.

Setting my bloodline free –

By betting on me!

I don’t particularly focus on making resolutions at this point in life. Instead, I aim to surpass my “best self” if I am blessed enough to experience another day, let alone another year.

Lord willing, I’ll be 45 later this month, and life has life-ed enough for me to know not to take a day for granted — especially after receiving, at least, 16,425 such blessings.

As we head into 2024, I wanted to reflect on the first five years into my 40s.

Everything has changed in that time, particularly in society, but even more so in my personal experience. It’s not something I’d naturally talk about, but I think getting things out of my head and being vulnerable is good these days. It could be helpful to someone else.

For my part, 2019 marked the beginning of a transformative journey. Entering that year, I sought and anticipated more, personally and professionally, sketching a vision board to plot the future. Things I could envision, but really couldn’t control.

A mentor in a leadership program suggested adding a therapist to my personal executive board — my core group of life advisers — to strive for work-life balance, something I’m not sure we ever truly attain. Initially, I believed it would assist me in managing work-related stress, but it offered a different perspective, especially regarding self-awareness. But that would be a process.

I moved to Washington D.C. for a dream job at CNN, only to have the world disrupted by a global pandemic. This led to an unforeseen return to Chicago for lockdown, which provided me with unfettered time with my kids, a divorce, and an abrupt return home to Ohio, which seemed like an extension of isolation.

During this return, I witnessed firsthand the cruel and indifferent nature of Alzheimer’s dementia, afflicting my biggest supporter: My mother. That put things into perspective like nothing else. I helped my parents and thought it meant a career change that would keep me home, but I would have to figure that out.

Obligations increased. Expectations changed, personally and professionally. The stakes got higher, and a lot got harder. And it turns out our parents do age; they are human.

Despite managing to produce some of my most significant work during this time, from pandemic coverage to racial unrest and a consequential election that was followed by an insurrection in the Capital, I found myself burned out and just barely getting by. Life was life-ing harder than ever. My head was bloody, but unbowed.

What’s clear is this: Change is unstoppable and inevitable. In the words of Thanos, “Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives all the same.”

I wrestled with all of that, the imperfections of myself and my life. What became “my normal.” But I’ve since learned my normal doesn’t have to mirror anyone else’s. It’s not supposed to. It never has and never will. I’m not that person and never have been. I embrace that even when others don’t understand, but also know that their opinions can’t matter as much.

Therapy helped me be more vulnerable and rediscover myself. My family caught me. Friends — old and new — began asking more about, well, me. My definition of family contracted, evolved, and expanded. Some people came. Others went. I changed jobs. Things stabilized a bit and I moved to Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love, toward the end of 2022.

I’ve had it. Lost it. Got it again. Lost it and had to rebuild. I’m resilient if nothing else; even if I need a minute, that will never change.

Learning to take the bitter with the sweet is more than a notion. It’s a bittersweet serum for growth, a rite of passage into adulting, and a necessity to move forward.

I’ve sometimes felt like I’ve been spinning plates while walking on a tightrope. I’ve probably dropped a few plates trying to look back or walk too quickly, but was fortunate enough to get another plate to spin again. I am learning to move at my own pace, being present and enjoying the walk to the destination ahead. That’s all you can control.

My partner shows up for me and she loves me for all of me, including my imperfections. My chosen family — a collection of friends — does, too. I want to be a better partner for everyone who shows up for me in business and life. I’ve learned to let go of those who aren’t a part of those conversations. There’s a reason they aren’t there, even when it’s not readily apparent, it eventually will be. Their absence was needed and later welcomed.

At 45, my life looks nothing like I thought it would. I’ve racked up more miles than I imagined on planes, trains, and automobiles, traveling on this continent and venturing into two others. It adds to the list of blessings and experiences that have shaped me.

And, in many ways, I am doing the things I set out to do.

When I was editor-in-chief of The Buchtelite, the University of Akron’s student-run newspaper, I always aspired to be an executive running a newsroom. It was clear to me that I wanted to ascend the ranks of leadership and be able to make coverage decisions that benefited the larger community. In my role as the managing editor of Axios Local, I’m helping lead a newsroom across 30 markets. I graduate from Poynter’s executive training program next week.

However, the course of my life and career has necessitated eight relocations over the past two decades, primarily in the Midwest and now on the East Coast. This diverse journey has provided me with a unique perspective, shaped not only by my experiences in the newsroom but also by the lessons learned outside of it.

The reality is this: There aren’t too many individuals at this level who look like me, and even fewer who could replicate the unique experiences I’ve encountered as both a journalist and a Black man—embracing both successes and failures. My aspiration to continually improve is my superpower.

All of these experiences have broadened my perspective on life, shifting from a microscope, which hones in and fixates on one item, to a kaleidoscope, which allows more light and vibrant colors to come into focus.

I’m embracing an even longer list of things to learn, which involves scaling back on certain obligations, empowering others, and acknowledging my self-worth. There are still things I need to release, but that’s why therapy matters.

As each day unfolds, I increasingly appreciate the worth of time, our most precious commodity. In 2024, I intend to cherish every day I’m given, surrounding myself with the love of those who share this journey with me.

There’s still work ahead, and I aim to contribute each day in ways that make a positive impact, whether through a conversation, a thought, or a piece of content that assists others in navigating their journeys.

———

What I’ve learned over the past five years:

* Trust God’s plan
* Waking up is the bare minimum; what you do with the rest of the day matters most.
* Life never stops doling out lessons — so be a more attentive student.
* Know that sometimes it just … is.
* It’s OK to not be OK. Take a minute to care for yourself.
* Being alone gives you time to think, but avoid rabbit holes.
* Remember that sometimes the right abbit holes lead to creativity; just know which one you’re diving into.
* Everyone is right from their vantage point and, sometimes, it just has to be that.
* Think about what it’s like on the other side of me.
* What obstacles might they be facing that are contributing to an issue?
* Not everyone is for you, and you’re not for everyone. And some people who say they’re for you are more concerned with what you can do for them.
* To embrace those who consistently show up for you — those who pour into you when you need them. And do the same for them.
* It’s OK to grieve the loss of people, even when they’re still walking this earth. They depart for their journey, and you must go on yours.
* Write more
* Don’t ever stop dreaming. I am doing what I said I would do over 20 years ago.

The world runs around and bucks you
Of your trajectory with minutiea that drive you
Up a wall, and down into darkness which blinds
Your senses that either gives adrenaline or freezes
You into a statue that’s blind, deaf, and dumb.

Your vision turns into bright starts that short-
Circuit your mind with blinding light whose sport
Is to suppress your logic, embracing emotions
That turn you deaf to all evidence against your passions.
Those then steal your ability to speak your mind.

As the world moves round and round, like a merry
Go round, so do you try to stave off the shocks that ferry
You into dismay as experiences are disillusioningly
Petrifying, with their obstacles and demands
On your taking a stand outside your comfort zones.

Stay the course.
Stand tall.
Savor each experience.
Strengthen your faith with failure or success.
Sever negative relationships,

And let your self-confidence emerge
A snow white pigeon of peace and verve of life.

©️ Malak kalmoni chehab ©️

Hide the light out of fright
Now I will shine bright
For the darkness
Comes the light
2024 with all my might
I have become the light
for all that is right
Casting light on the darkness
I will never loose sight

Dear Unsealed,
My goals for 2024 are somewhat different that in 1990 or 2007. I am 74 years old. I know my goals are different apparently because I am older and the fact, I survived long covid and the effects on my body and major surgery. I almost died April 2022. However, I am alive. I am a Virgo, Leo moon rising, born on the cusp of Libra. I shall talk about more subtle goals than I would have at 20, 30, 40, 50, 0r 60.
My goals are:
1. To remain healthy as possible.
2. To remain alive.
3. To continue my freelance writing and photography.
4. To continue to spread love and light.
5. To perhaps make a little extra money to help with bills.
6. To always see my doctor.
7. To continue my gluten free, lactose free diet as much as possible.
8. To walk more, swim if the weather permits.
9. To continue my meditation practices.
10. To analyze what I am doing and what another person means with their words as they speak to me or other people.
11. To cut back on clothes, shoe spending on Wish and Temu.
12. Be kind but not vulnerable the full 12 months of 2024.
I will wake up every morning to the sound of music playing through Google Mini or Alexa. I will remember my vivid dreams of people, places, things to write down the specifics of my dreams to create stories of inspiration, but to not forget that inspiration is a part of a negative experience to be brought out into the light. I will take care of my health and continue to think young. I will continue my political activist positions regarding human rights, women’s rights, LBGTQ rights, voting rights and democracy for all.
My goal to spread light, love and peace may sound repetitive to some people, but to me it is my most important goal for 2024 and beyond. Without peace, love, and light there would be continuous wars and evil wrongdoing in our society. So, there needs to be more people involved in this goal. Equality and human rights are not political as they are a humanitarian society procedure, not political.
I will spread light and love through my writing and photography with periodic checks of analyzing the good, the bad, the ugly in all facets of life on Earth.

Sincerely,

Vicki Lawana Trusselli
December 21, 2023

Living in shadows of my past

Roaming hallways of my mind

Afraid to turn corners too fast

And the memories I would find

Resolved to pause and change my stance

And shake the past’s dust off my shoes

I will give next year a chance

To see in color instead of blues

Those old walls become withdrawn

As fresh grass grows beneath my feet

This old year has come and gone

My new self I prepare to meet

This New Year I have a choice

My liberty comes with it’s dawn

A small change in my mind’s voice

To a positive antiphon

My New Year’s dreams are made of light

Washing tears and sorrow away

All I did was adjust my sight

To view a better, brighter day

Dearest little one-
We have lived in such agony for far to long
Dearest little one-
Don’t you miss-
Miss the feeling of solace that we are loved-
That we are enough?
The way sun kissed blue skies sparkle in our eyes?
The little things we used to share like the sound of gentle summer rains?
The little things we used to share like the euphoria of simple existence?

Dearest little one-
We have spent so much time loving others.
Loving others that could never love us.
Just so we could avoid ourselves existing in the same plane.

Dearest little one-
We’ve made so many empty promises to each other.
We’ve made so many harsh and unforgiving choices.
No more little one.
This year-
This year we have special achievements to uphold.
To love ourselves whole heartedly.
To do away with the passive aggressive malice to one another.
To no longer drown each other under the turbulent waters of our emotions.

Dearest little one-
This year our mission is growth.
To grow from the cracks left from our past.
Hold my hand little one and stand with me a while- so together we may mend our cracks with gold.

Your fire is what I admire, what I desire. You light a fire in my soul and fill the bowl in my chest with passion my mind can’t even ration. I must be in a daze or maze, trying to run and hide but every corner I turn your fire still burns. I crash into wall after wall getting burned and even then I wouldn’t want to return. Because a life without passion is something most people lack in. Even if you burn me to ashes and leave me with unhealed gashes i would still run into your maze, even on my saddest of days. I hope you never lose your fire and allow it to burn bright even on the darkest of nights, when you wanna give up the fight. Because once you start to touch people with that flame it’ll catch like match, batch after batch and soon the whole world will be on fire just like the girl I’ve always admired.

Often times when we think of a new year resolution or new year goals for the upcoming year we usually have a big goal we want to accomplish like getting a new job, a new house, to meet a partner if we are single, have a child, buy a new car, but what if we were to change our mindset and also see smaller goals just as big as the big ones.

This upcoming year I am dedicating myself to look forward to the smaller things like finding peace, doing the things that make your heart feel whole like sharing a laugh with loved ones, taking a walk outside and breathing the fresh air, or maybe even making time for a hobby that you neglected due to being so busy with work and your personal life.

My ultimate goal for next year is to be PRESENT. Life is often so fast-paced that sometimes we may forget to be present in the moment and take every moment in. I want to be present with everything that I do. Even the simplest smallest things like cooking a meal and sharing a meal with friends or family or even by yourself. Taking in that specific moment that you can never get back in time and have the blessing to do so is something I want to take in and be present with. I want to be able to be present and really taking everything in life in. A goal of mine is to be present with myself. Taking the time to do things that make me feel a spark, like writing a poem, reading a book, meditating with music that makes the soul feel good.

Although I want to continue to blossom in my career as a Marketing Specialist and want my business to blossom, most of all I want to continue to grow into the person that I am meant to be and continue to find my purpose. The person that I am right now in this moment, writing this letter about what I am most excited about for the next year, will be a different person reading this the same time next year. Which is why I am so focused on being present every day. I am excited to see the Woman that I am going to become next year, the peace I will continue to find in myself, my loved ones, and places. The laughs I will be able to share with loved ones. The meals I will be able to eat. The new people I am going to meet. I am most excited to see my life change transform and prosper. I am so excited to see how much my relationship with God is going to flourish. Every year there is a new version of yourself, you are never the same person each year, you go through joy and pain, different transformations that make you a wiser person.

Next year I dedicate time for myself to find a spark in me that I never knew I had, to move and flow through life with good intentions, better environments, intentional friendships, intellectual individuals, creative people, broken people, joyful people. Take every negative and turn it into a positive and have more faith over fear.

This upcoming year I am dedicating myself to nourish who I am, love who I am, and be present and sit with myself and appreciate everything that I have and never take a second for granted. Perhaps when you are reading this, it may seem like a person letter to myself, maybe it seems to fit more to my future self then what I am most excited about, but this year was a year of self-realization that happened at the speed of light. Next year I am most excited to live in the PRESENT moment every day.

Cheers to a year of living in the present moments!!

Endless Smiles
Heart unbroken
Life looking up for you
Looking at the girl of your dreams
Doing what you love
Writing more
It’s your passion
Spread your voice
Let them hear you
It’s okay
Don’t be scared anymore
To let it show how talented you are
Express
I’m sure it’ll have them impressed
But again you’re not doing it for them
You write for you
It brings such joy
Puts an instant smile on your face
Lets Embrace
No more hiding in the shadows
This is our year to show who we really are
Not what others want to believe
Protect your peace
Go with the flow
Let it be
We are truly smiling again