O’ heavy heart, why so much pain
the sorrows of the lost, but do know through the storms I will dance in the rain.

O’heavy heart, who so weary with no rest
Remember God tells your heart to beat again gaining peace passing the test, through the trials and tribulations you are with the best. (Jesus )

O’heavy heart, why are you so down, when agony, stress, doubts come around…. Be courageous, be strong; be strengthen, stand still and listen to the sound.
The sound of a King telling you that your O’Heavy heart will be brought out of, will be back up of, anything that set you off to cause the pain; to make you feel weary with no rest, with the agony and doubts that may seem so sustain…

Strengthen O’Heavy heart now there is love, the love that God sent when He died and was up above
He came down, He came back and gives love
O’ strengthen heart you can now smile, to say I overcame it all and on a new level, a new journey, a God-file!

A file created to be restored with good and memories and pictures of a saying, that I could or should have, and I did just that. But only because of Him, so I say to my O’ unheavy heart, “ Thank you my Lord, my Rock, and my Shelter; You are my everything and it will be You who my heart will always remember!”

O’ faithful heart, I give it all
not just a little,
soon you will hear a voice, a knock, or maybe a call

So open up heart and let Him in,
you won’t ever regret it, it will fulfill the holes and He will forgive all the sin.

O’thankful heart give thanks unto Thee,
That you’ve made it this far; Hallelujah and Praising the awesome and highest plea….

Thank you O’heart that you’ve accepted a King for it is you who is no longer so heavy nor is it weary; now we sing together and at our best
So whatever comes our way it’s always a passing test! Amen

O’Heavy heart not so heavy
O’strenghten heart now your strong
O’faithful heart, your moving mountains
O’thankful heart it’s all that I have to give!!!

Sometimes I reminisce, oh how I miss,
The places and the people that make me feel like this.
I feel so nostalgic, it really is fantastic,
One of life’s highs that keeps me enthusiastic.

But with nostalgia comes sadness, followed by this madness,
As time passes memories fade into the blackness.
This life it is fateful, that’s why I remain grateful,
That way the nostalgia doesn’t feel so painful.

Remembering the bad, but moreso the good times I’ve had,
As I write I miss my old friends just a tad.
A ball in my throat, a tear falls on this note,
My feelings and emotions pour into everything I’ve wrote.

Everyday I stand tall, yet sometimes I fall,
From each of life’s lessons I truly am enthralled.
To say that I have made it, would be an understatement,
For the life I have lived, there really is no replacement.

Dear Grandma,
How are things up in heaven? I hope they are treating you well up there. Have you been watching things down here? It’s been such a mess with our family since you’ve been gone. The family that once stood together has now drifted apart. If you have noticed, no one gets together anymore for gatherings. No one hardly even calls anybody just for a chat or anything. It’s not like when you were around, but we are trying.
Besides that update, I’ve been hanging in there the best I can. Since you last saw me, I’m now married with kids. I’m living on my own now, and I have changed my outlook since surgery five years ago, but I’m still the kind-hearted person you remember. I’ve just had a lot of difficulties in my journeys since then, but I’m trying to stay as strong as possible.
As I mentioned, I have kids now, Grandma. I ended up having two girls, ages 15 and 10, and I also had my first boy, but sadly, he didn’t make the journey. So if you happen to come across him, could you give him a hug for me and let him know that Mommy misses him? I will eventually see him soon. Since then, I added two more stepdaughters after I got remarried; they are 9 and 8. They are so adorable, Grandma! The littlest one adores me to death. She still calls me by my name, but that’s okay. It doesn’t bother me. She loves to play dress-up with me, cover herself in makeup, or just have fun tickling and gobbling each other at times.
By the way, Grandma, if you’ve been watching, can you believe your great-granddaughter is now getting ready for her journey to high school? I wish you had the chance to meet her. She’s been having struggles with her studies and trying to figure out what she wants to do moving forward. But Mom, Dad, and I, even though she doesn’t always make things easy for us, are getting by.
If you’re wondering about your other grandson, I know you were concerned about him. Well, Eddie is doing well. He’s been growing every day and will be turning 39 this year. Can you believe that? He still looks like Dad every day, but he is still the bright, energetic person you remembered. Dad, on the other hand, has been struggling a bit lately, trying to do everything he can for us. But Grandma, I know you’re in our hearts, and there isn’t a moment that goes by that we don’t wish you were back here with us. I know for sure that if you were here, you wouldn’t approve of how everything has been going since you made your trip.
Before I go, I wanted to let you know that even though I don’t speak for the family, I’m sorry that I haven’t had the time to come back and visit you since my last trip. With everything that has been going on here lately, I just haven’t had a way to pull it off. But I hope you are staying safe up there and that they are taking care of you until we are reunited.
I love you, Grandma Allen.
Signed,
Your granddaughter,
Samantha.

Dear Body,

I’m reaching out to ask why I’ve faced so many diagnoses. I understand that you wanted me to take care of myself and grow, but it’s hard to see how to improve when I’ve been given experiences I never asked for. These challenges have made life incredibly difficult for me. I struggle to return to the active person I once was, and I find it hard to maintain a job or have a fulfilling personal or relationship life.

Imagine feeling unable to move around your own home or unable to clean like others do. My stomach issues interfere every time I try to perform my daily duties. Everything I’ve endured has been a struggle, but you seem to just observe whatever I do or consume.

Despite the difficulties, I want to express my gratitude for helping me recognize the signs that we’ve faced many challenges together. There have also been some positive experiences along the way. I’ve managed to bring our body back to a comfortable and happy state. However, it’s still a struggle when it comes to food and our favorite coffee drinks, though the results are looking positive.

I promise I will be here for the adventures ahead, even if they’re not always pleasant. I will do my best to take care of us, no matter how long we have left.

Thank you,
Your Owner

In the night, shivers start to flee through the surface.
The warmth in the atmosphere begins to boil as the surface cracks.
As the time pulses through the air, tension erupts, and the river floods.
Without a breath to grasp on to, the steam burns as the foundation begins to shake.
As the reins begin to tighten, the inner circle keeps closing up more and more.
Holding on piece by piece, time has its way when the doors will finally reach it’s course.

A stormy night, awake all night,
Noone around, not a soul in sight.

The silence creeps, the darkness seeps,
Only the sun and the dead sleep.

A forgotten soul, his story untold,
Wonders where the years did go?

Gone so fast, thankfully memories last,
Nostalgic when thinking of old days passed.

A soul so old, her story so cold,
Wonders how things will unfold.

A deafening silence, foreshadows defiance,
Thoughts of peace instead of violence.

2 narcotics, used without logic,
To anyone else it would seem psychotic.

These drugs don’t heal, they only steal,
Your life, emotions, and all things that feel.

2 twisted tales, all drugs inhaled,
Down one of life’s f*cked up trails.

A forgotten soul, a soul so old,
Paths have crossed, but will they hold?

It’s lonely in behind these bars,

It’s dark even during the day.

Trying to keep my mindset free,

But my thoughts are led astray.

I listen to my inner voice,

Because that’s the one that’s wise.

I am my own worst enemy,

When that voice starts telling lies.

I’m left with myself to wonder,

Just when will I get out?

My sentence should be over soon,

Life clouds my mind with doubt.

This is the loneliest age to be kind,
To stand with your heart wide-open, entwined.
While the world walks past with their eyes sunk low,
Too busy, too broken, too fearful to know.

That the good man waits in the quiet and cold,
His virtue’s like armor, his love growing old.
They call him naive, the call him too soft,
Yet they push him away and tell him to f*ck off.

There’s no thoughts of compassion, of standing apart,
Yet he carries his decency deep in his heart.
The cruel are rewarded, the liars adored,
While the good man is doubted, blatantly ignored.

He opens his doors, yet few step inside,
He speaks with his truth, but they think it’s a lie.
For the world wants the flash, the fury, the noise,
Not the steady, the gentle, voices that do not destroy.

So he walks through the crowds like a ghost in the light,
Too solid for shadow’s, too pure for the night.
Oh, what’s the wage of a man who stays true?
A handful of memories, a love far too few.

But the good man remains, though the age turns away,
A relic of honor, in the ruins of today

Dear Addiction:
Back in the day, off the wagon I fell,
You found me first, unbroken, compelled.
You painted my dreams with colors so bright,
And wrapped me in velvet, shadowing my sight.
With every encounter, I lost track of the time,
Chasing your high, commiting your crimes.
An embrace that felt warm, yet so cold at its core,
A sweet sirens call that I couldn’t ignore.
But with each puff, with every high,
A short-lived happiness, followed with a goodbye.
You crept in like fog, obscuring the light,
Turning my days, into sleepless nights.
You promised me solace, a refuge so sweet,
But left me with ashes of shattered defeat.
With trembling hands, I write this plea,
To break the chains, and set me free.
So here in this letter, I wrestle with truth,
The cost of your presence, the theft of my youth.
Though parting is painful, a wound can be sewn,
I’ll reclaim my old soul, and for now, it is home.

Yours no longer,
A soul setting free.

In this life, I walk alone,
My heart’s grown heavy, made of stone.
My longing eyes, search for a sign,
But solitude is my only design.
Whispers in my mind, echoes of dread,
My soul feels heavy, as if it’s made of lead.
In silent tears, my fate I’ll sever,
Convinced I’m going to be alone forever.
Lost in a world that fails to see,
My aching heart, my silent plea.
Each day a battle, each night a war,
Another year passes, and then one more.
Destiny’s grip, has me locked in chains,
Binding me to this neverending pain.
Any smidge of hope, is a distant dream,
An endless nightmare, so it seems.
So alone I walk, my burden heavy,
Yearning for a touch, I’m forever ready.
But fates cold hand is a relentless giver,
Condemning me to be alone forever.

Can I dig myself out,
Of this hole I’ve made?
No more tricks up my sleeve,
All my cards are played.
Can I find the answers,
In this day and age?
I’ve look outside, I’ve looked within,
I’ve turned through every page.
What does it mean to be free,
When I walk these streets alone?
I am free to go nowhere,
Because that nowhere is my home.
Where will this life take me,
Being so lost and lonely?
I walk through life so blindly,
I’ve never really known me.

Dear Unsealers,

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where, no matter what you do or say, it feels like you’re trapped in a box? Even when everything seems fine, do you feel like you’re being watched every few minutes? It’s as if you’re just going about your life, but because people know your circumstances, you sense that something is about to happen any moment.

What do you do when you’re in a room, fully aware of everything at stake, yet still feel overwhelmed, as if you don’t know what’s wrong? Or when you express your feelings and receive the same responses repeatedly, like, “Oh, I’ve heard you,” or “What do you want me to do about it?” It can be frustrating to hear the same replies almost every time.

How can you overcome these issues and maintain a positive outlook?

As temperatures rise beneath the stars’ bright glow,
Chatter dances softly, carried by the flow.
The night wraps around as the skies gently close,
And the insects awaken, their symphony flows.

In the winds they resonate, a melody sweet,
Nature’s quiet chorus, a nocturnal beat.
With every soft flutter, their presence ignites,
The magic of evening, where music delights.

So let the night linger, let the breezes play,
In this world of whispers, where dreams drift away.
Under the watchful stars, as the darkness unfolds,
The night breathes its secrets, and a story is told.

A woman sits with a blanket to bear. She sits and sighs, wondering if the depression is ever going to end. She ran out of her medicine and had no way to replace it. Her impacting bubbles escaped her unsettling mind. She couldn’t figure out how to keep everything going around her in check. As the space fills with time, she asks herself many questions and writes down ideas, but the more she tries, the more she feels like everything has been tried and worn out with no one listening and no one wants to find a way to come together to help.

Your absence overshadowed
your love for us girls.
Advertised unhealthy worthiness.
Your assumption of being our first love
was overturned by your emotional negligence.
Made for weak understandings amongst our future relationships.
Your silent treatment of handling situations overhyped how mature your stance stood.
Taught us avoidance amongst stressful encounters as adults.
Your upbringing outshined your ability to father two beautiful smart girls.
Left those two women to raise themselves together.
Your title of father can describe so much yet the title dad fits better.
Handed out so little with all you had.

Dear Dad,

On this Father’s Day, I wanted to share a message of love and appreciation with you. Thank you for everything we have been through together. Through the ups and downs, I’m grateful that you’ve always been there for me and have never let me down.

I know I haven’t always turned out to be the person you might have hoped for, but I appreciate that you didn’t hold anything against me. Instead, you gave me a chance to learn and grow, even when you disagreed with my choices. Your acceptance means so much to me.

I cherish all the conversations we’ve had while I was growing up. While you are my dad, as I got older, you also became an example of how a partner should be to me. Your actions and the way you treat others, especially women, show your kindness and dedication to making people happy. That is truly special.

I love the father figure you’ve become, and anyone would be lucky to have you as a dad. Please don’t ever change the wonderful person you are. I want you to know that, no matter what I do in life, I will always be your daughter. Although I may not be able to do much for you this Father’s Day, I hope this message and letter brighten your day.

With love,
Your Daughter
Samantha

Dear Unsealers,

It’s the third Sunday in June.

At the halfway point of the month, it’s Father’s Day.

I hope that all the fatherly figures from my dad on down the line have a wonderful day. And everyone has a wonderful Sunday.

I’ve added a photo of my family taken after my sister’s college graduation in 2007. From left to right: my dad, sister, mom and I.

After all that, this is my Father’s Day message:

On this, the third Sunday in June
It’s a day to celebrate fathers

My dad. My friend’s dads.
My friends who are dads themselves. Dad’s to be. New dads.

All the fatherly figures
Grandfathers. Stepfathers. Uncles.

With arms held aloft
For those who have difficulty celebrating this day

And a toast in memory
To the fatherly figures who are no longer with us

I can’t thank my dad enough
For being a pillar of my life
Through so many challenging days
If not for him, I don’t rock n roll

From me to you, the world over
A Happy Father’s Day to all!

one word says it all
one word has the power to touch or call
one word can make or break
one word
which one will you choose
which one word will you use
one word
the one word i choose is
love

You’ve changed.
No. I took charge of my life.
I shed years of
blackness from my life.
Decades of overcast emotions
from my heart.
Years of caused neglect
from my nervous system.
Decades of tape marks
amongst my voice.
I did not change.
I found me!

Dear Community,

I would like to ask a question and share my thoughts: Does anyone believe in connections? When I search for the right person to be with, I often develop a special bond over time that I find hard to break.

For example, I’ve been experiencing a lot of ups and downs with my partner. When I discuss our problems with others, I often hear questions like, “Why can’t you just leave?” or “You shouldn’t have to put up with this; just walk away.” I understand that people will have many questions, especially if they aren’t aware of the full story.

Many say that when you find the right person, you’ll just know it. However, I don’t know if I’m alone in feeling that if you started dating your partner in high school, became sweethearts, and remained friends afterwards, a strong connection develops over time, right?

That’s my dilemma. I admit I’ve had intense discussions with my partner, and I’ve shared this with everyone, including my family. Leaving is difficult, especially when your heart is still invested. It battles within you: on one side, you love the good things about him and want to stay; on the other side, you resent the negative traits and want to protect yourself.

Then there’s that voice in your head reminding you that he’s your best friend—the person you clicked with instantly. You don’t want anything bad to happen to him.

My question is this: If you have a connection that feels so strong, how can you break it if it comes down to that choice?