Whenever feelings overwhelm my breath,
I seek the strength of flannel’s stalwart plush
to drink up overflow that runs unchecked
down cheeks afire with life’s enduring flush,
reviving smoky tiparillo tang
as giant, blue-roped hands skim chestnut hair
to baritonal mumblings that hang
like sanctuary sigils in the air.

His everlasting warmth embraces me
with patience and a gentle iron will
as echos swirling on an astral breeze
until my inner turbulence is still–
for thirty years I’ve felt Dad’s quiet peace
upon this verdant cemetery hill.

In the warm embrace of my mother and hers before her…
I am swaddled in a sense of tranquility as I reflect on the embrace of my mother; the ancestors who nurtured me in the womb and guided me into this world. Their trust in my potential; the gift of life fills me with gratitude.

The sweet embrace of my children…
my little loves, they bring me profound peace. When I hold them close, one nestled under each arm, their tiny arms encircling my waist, the world seems to stand still. In those moments, the love that we share becomes the focal point of my existence, offering me comfort and peace.

In his sweet embrace…
Finding solace in the warm, loving embrace of my partner, I can be my true self. Curled up in his arms, my face pressed against his chest, I find a sense of peace that takes me elsewhere. Amidst the chaos of negative voices in my mind, he remains a calm and steady presence, offering unwavering support and love. His confidence in my strength and the reminder of how far I have come bring me a deep sense of peace and comfort.

I find peace… here, within me.
Becoming at peace within myself is a journey I am beginning to embrace. As I wrap my arms around my shoulders and lean into my embrace, I take a moment to release the burdens of guilt, shame, and resentment that have held me back. Though I acknowledge that I am still a work in progress, I celebrate the strides I have made. While I may be petite in stature, I have grown in resilience and strength. With a gentle squeeze, I offer myself a gesture of self-compassion and allow a smile to grace my lips. I will continue to commit to nurturing myself, always exploring new paths for personal growth, knowing that I am worthy of my care and attention.

“I love you, I tell all of my past selves”

As I continue on this journey, I see myself becoming a source of peace and comfort for my children, a mother they can turn to, in times of need and find solace with, just as I have found within myself.

Envision this.
An expectant mother around family and friends
On her birthday
Four days later a baby comes
But water breaks at the cinema.

Fluffy popcorn and chocolate delicacies
A huge screen with all your favorite actors
Expectation at a sequel or just wonder of what will become of your favorite actors.

Will my dreams of meeting my biggest inspirations come true
Well in my utopia I find peace at the cinema.

Horror, Romance, Action, and Etc
I’m eclectic
Two hours of leaving my own reality
Two hours to clear my head

Mane if it wasn’t for the cinemas
I wouldn’t be able to laugh or take life’s twist and turns
But yeah that’s my peace
My joy; the cinema

The beach is my favorite place
I walk to the farthest end
You know, where all the jagged rocks meet
All pointy and eroding from the storms the sky sends
I climb those rocks until I find the perfect bench
I sit down to look at my view

My grandmother’s favorite beach is called Coco Beach
It’s in Florida, her favorite state

I imagine there’s coconuts everywhere
You have to keep your head held high so you can keep watch

WAIT

That same line can be used for life

Anyways
My Lela and I sit on those rocks together
We watch the sunset
It goes from pretty blues and whites to a beautiful cotton candy sunset
The wind is the perfect temperature, the perfect strength

We take deep breaths together
So deep we taste the salt from the ocean

We name things we see in the stars
I update her on every detail of my life since she left
We laugh
We cry
We curse
We yell at the sky

I tell her my new memories, the ones she knew I didn’t remember
I tell her my new perspectives of the world, of my life
I show her all my wounds in my back from everyone who swore to me they loved me

She gives me a massage
I feel the familiar feel of her gentle hands
I feel all the love through them
My eyes tear because I missed that feeling so much

The sky is turning orange now, light slowly rising up
The winds start picking up
Lela grabs my face so firmly but still so gentle
She squeezes and says to me, into me

“I am so beyond proud of you. Your wounds are nothing but warrior scars now. Symbols of battles you won. Reminders of all you can withstand. Now go fight some more, you may fall or slip, but you have proven to always to get back up.”

After the warmest, tightest hug she disappears into the big rush of wind
7 seconds I stand there
Embracing the last bits of her presence

Now I’m awake, my eyes crusty from tears
But my heart is so full and warm with hope and love for life
So heavy
But also so so full
And my soul is at peace

I find my peace in pieces
A little here and there
Chaos never ceases
Peace is often rare

But,
I feel it in raindrops
Dry, falling leaves
Carefree belly flops
A humorous sneeze

In,
Pine needle covered trails
A brilliant sunrise
Stylish manicured nails
Crisp sweet potato fries

At,
Book clubs with friends
Pride parades in June
Multicolored pens
Naps in the afternoon

I find my peace in pieces
Wherever there is spare
Gather then release it
Peace is meant to share

Dear Unsealers,

This is my answer to the question in the challenge…

When and where do I feel most at peace?

As the sun rises over the Canyon of Heroes
It’s the start of the work week

But before I arrive at the office
There’s something that I need to do
The Monday morning ritual

As I take my seat in the cafe at 4 Liberty Street
I see the heart in my Matcha Latte

At the first sip, the world stands still
Only the daylight can be seen

None of the world’s troubles matter
With each extra sip, I feel warmed bliss

When the bottom of the cup is reached
I can take on the slings and arrows of the day

peace, the peace that’s so so very sweet
and lovely filled with incredible
nature beings such as the birds
the bumbles bees lady bugs, caterpillars,
and even things we could hardly
ever see

peace, the peace that you’re
mind is so free and at ease the
freedom you have without
over thinking, under thinking
with such anxiety till
the point where you could
hardly take a moment and even breathe

peace, I want the peace that comes
with happiness, excitement, joy,
and laughter filled
with friends and family
till the point where sadness or
drama isn’t included or even such a thing

peace, the peace
from the moment that
i wake up or even go to sleep
negativity isn’t even a
thought or thing keeping me
from my everyday things
that would escape me
from my positive reality

peace, the peace
where privacy, calmness
quietness, isolation isn’t a
bad thing just being able
to enjoy life without all
the unnecessary noise
and irritation that will
disturb me

peace, the peace
that’s so light and pretty
like the sky filled with
many clouds on a hot
sunny warm day when
taking a swim is almost
perfect
for that specific day

peace, the peace
where life is like
the ocean floating
and the waves
maneuvering so
smoothly and perfectly
sounding where that’s
all I want to hear and
just see

peace
peace
is all I want in life
and may ever need

Beneath the radiant sun,
Waves crash nearby,
The chilled water beckons to me,
As sand clings to my feet.

Seagulls dance and flutter about,
While dolphins playfully surface.
Sandcastles tower amidst the sand,
Children’s joyous laughter fills the air.

An oasis of tranquility,
Salt air whispers gently.
This is my favorite place,
A haven for the soul.

Sereneness,
Peacefulness,
Endless horizon,
This is pure bliss.

As the waves come and go,
Renewal washes over me,
In the vast ocean’s expanse,
All problems fade away.

Drifting with the current,
Worries are no more,
This sanctuary revives and rejuvenates,
The beach: my happy place.

The impact of my Romeo’s embrace
can send ease throughout the mind—
compiling a space of security.
Shockwaves sent within
outside leaves only a grin—
the impact of my Romeo’s embrace.
Allowing the spirit to roam free
across the buds that have been planted—
compiling a space of security.
Growing in the races
tangling up the two souls—
the impact of my Romeo’s embrace.
Following the direction the fingers intertwine
as we head towards the meadows—
compiling a space of security.
A path sent from the rain
only he knows the pain we with-stained:
the impact of my Romeo’s embrace—
compiling a space of security.

Dear Self,

What a book this life has been! So many chapters. The early chapters that are far behind us.. The first few, living and growing up into little people. The mid-years with the mall bangs, Aqua-Net and blazers… When it was so important to be popular. When everyone’s opinion mattered.

After caring about what everyone thought, you narrowed it down to only what the boys thought. So many boys… and then THE boy. The one who wasn’t cool in the traditional sense, but it was okay because you never cared much for the traditional. The one who showed you what safe was. What love could be. Then, he broke your heart. Not on purpose. You were both just too young, he said. You thought he was wrong.

The next chapter was dark. You leaned into depression. Into deep regret. Into drugs and sex. And shame. You were sure everyone was judging you.

It was time for a new chapter.

Along with your new chapter, you started therapy. You tried so hard and worked so long, working desperately to impress your therapist. Your group leaders and head of programming. You wanted to show your friends how “normal” and healthy you were… You really wanted to be good, for them.

Then there was the darkest chapter where you lost your sister. An overdose. Heroin. You fell out of relationships. Out of connection. Out of caring about anyone or anything. You thought you wouldn’t be able to go on. You didn’t care what anyone thought.

Despite everything, eventually, you were able to laugh again and to make others laugh too.

Routine was boring though. Calm and quiet were not what you were used to and there was the occasional “oops, things are going a little too well… better shake it up because I know how to deal with crisis. It is comfortable.”

Your therapist suggested healthier ways to experience risk without putting your life your wellbeing in jeopardy.

You signed up to try stand up comedy. Oh, you were so nervous. Remember feeling like you ate that whole jar of butterflies before the contest? You didn’t just volunteer for an open mic night; you signed up for a comedy contest. You practiced hard… so hard, even realizing that no matter how practiced and prepared you were, it was still going to be your very first time on stage.

Little did you know this was the beginning of the best chapter of your life.

You remember what happened next, right?

You were sick to your stomach with nerves (and an overabundance of caffeine), terrified you’d forget your lines and once you stepped out on stage, into the spotlight… everything went quiet and still for a minute. A serenity came over you and you knew there was nowhere you’d rather be and nothing you’d rather be doing. THIS was what you were supposed to be doing. This was your life’s purpose.

You KILLED it. And, you won the contest!

It was euphoric.

It was reinforced.

There are many nights you stay up too late, writing and rewriting jokes. Practicing with a microphone given by a friend and a speaker bought in a pawn shop. Walking up and down the hallways and around the bedroom getting a feel for the weight in my hands. The acknowledgement of the cord and special awareness. How close you could hold the mic to your mouth before your words became mumbled.

And the community. The bar crowd that didn’t necessarily drink but shot the shit. There is an acceptance there. Of all your awkwardness and quirk. There is acceptance and celebration, for the most part.

Last night you were in another contest. You didn’t win. Not the prize, anyway. But in another way, that the other performers may not have. You did what you set out to do. You showed up. You didn’t forget any of your jokes. You made people laugh, and you didn’t care if it was with you or at you or even just near you. You were content know you did what you loved to do.

You realized your power in that. You gave yourself permission to be out of your head and strictly in the moment. Enjoying yourself.

All I’ve got left to say is: keep it up! I can’t wait to see where we’ll go from here!