A feeling too familiar.

To Drift like a ghost in the wind.

Falling for false claims from those who often say.

They love me.

They support me.

They’ll be there for me. (Right)

But leave without a sound or notion of why. (Is it me?)

You blame yourself.

You try to come up with reasons on why people leave as fast as the seasons go by.

Spring, Summer, Fall & Winter.

As we enter the realm of our mind, I eagerly hear the questions.

Will I ever be enough?

Enough to be loved?

Enough to be cherished?

Enough to be heard?

Enough to be seen in a world of obscurity?

Enough to stay for?

Within me, I can see how heartbreaking the mind can be.

The gut punching facts that the mind speaks of tragedies or feelings of hurt.

They remain to remind you of memories that make you doubt yourself.

You think a good thing is a bad thing.

You think you are not good enough to feel joy or to even relish the thought of peace.

You no longer want to feel.

You want to be still.

The breakdowns severe, it feels as our hearts trying to escape your chest.

Questioning my worth, that I have worthy embedded in my skin.

Hear when I say.

Yes, you are ENOUGH.

You will loved & cherished.

The support you receive will be with no question.

The one you truly love the most will see you.

You are enough to stay for.

We are divine beings whom deserve peace, joy and love.

We Are Enough!

Hello Old Self,

You didn’t deserve what happened to you. The pain doesn’t define you. Yes, you are better than how you are being treated. Your emotions are valid. It’s okay to admit our father disrupts our peace. He brings nothing to our life but false hope after 23 years. Tell the woman that brings you peace that you’re falling in with love her. The strength you need is within your soul, heart, and mind. You aren’t worthless. Life gets better for you, even though I know it feels like the world is crashing down. Our new beginning starts with the love within us. We are divine. True love makes us feel like we are not alone. We are light, even through the dark. It’s okay if our light slowly is dim it is not permanent. You’ll finally feel peace once we set our hurt free. You know that great, sunny-day feeling? Where the wind is rustling through the leaves in a tree, or when you see a kid flying his kite as the birds fly above. Everything surrounding you is divinely beautiful. This is what to look forward to. The joy awaits you in the end.

Smile more they say
Why does she look mad
Is she okay
As they try to whisper walking past me
Unapproachable yet, I’m never approached
Oh face how you are perceived
Oh my face how you are mistaken as upset
Maybe I’m sad
Maybe I’m broken
Maybe I have a lot on my mind
Maybe I’m stressed
Maybe I’m none of the above & I am genuinely filled with Joy
You judge, but don’t ask me what is wrong
You assume I’m everything, but happy
Here’s the kicker I am okay
I am loved
I am in love with whom I am spending the rest of my life with
I am filled with joy
My facial expressions will tell you many things, but you won’t know till you ask
Get to know me before you mistakenly identify me as angry

I love books but the Only One Thing
Is the Love story of God, that to me brings:
Peace and Joy, Contentment to the full-
Like carrying a baby on a baby stroll.

That’s One Thing, that is more than a thing
Always blows my mind, with exciting dreams.
Though not regular dreams as when one sleeps,
Their the dreams of imagination-
That eternal relations keep.

This library daily I seem to walk into
Holding life barely by the Word of Truth.
This thing is a box I’m locked inside,
Never can I get out, It is the place I hide.

But there is always light on the inside,
That from the top it clearly shines.
When I look below I see nothing at all,
For the only place to go, is upward climbing the wall.

Neither can you see in the dark
But the speed of light ran, and has me marked.
Inside this box that happens to be a Book;
Instruction number one is just to simply look.

Then I learn, listen, and live-
No words of my own for you to give.
And no not at all am I ashamed of this,
Nothing belongs to me, I’m lucky to exist.

Though may I hear no luck in vocabulary
I’ll only fear God, but not a fear that’s scary.
Rather a love-try of mutual respect,
One that walks with me and never neglects.

A new life, a new mourn,
In a hidden concealed heart…
But always the same Christ,
Teaching my foolishness to be smart.

I just cannot get out of the Bible,
Shoe-tying knots… For a long while.
Walking into this Cannon of Truth,
Is yes and amen to all good that’s due.

Neer’ would I ever want to be released,
That for me is not a good thing.
I’ll stay chained, a slave of this Book,
Where I know Jesus saves every direction that I look 🙂

2-23-25

Same principle as-Dear John.
You are not leaving, So-I will!
You tell me so much-untrue,
So I am divorcing and leaving you!
Not married to you, nor addictions few-
You won’t go, won’t budge, So-I will move!

Though I have no idea how,
My learns of Jesus-He makes free,
Giving me rest… And He will best teach me,
How to defeat your homemade nest of Glee.
The one you built for years on end,
A false comfort-false feeling friend…
You was/is/am not who I thought-
You’re lying surviving, dread to me brought.

You can have me no more!
No reason any longer to fear myself,
For I don’t control me anymore -Jesus does!
Under His umbrella of Grace-
I’m found and completely safe!

Fear… whence comest thou?
I know not-though we are parting ways…
No evil to fear for the rest of my days!
No lies beside me-Jesus keeps them away,
Though around the bend you may sit at Bay-
I see thee far off and turn to you deaf ear,
You seek but don’t find… Your voice I cannot hear!

No words to you I have of my own,
Because Jesus true-builds me a new home!
You cannot have my kids, you cannot have my wife-
For you are dead my old cheating friend…
Because Jesus has ended your life!

I’ve already known fear,
Now it’s time to know God-
And fear cannot win because…

2 Timothy 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, of love, and of a sound of mind.

… This promised fact I trust and love!!!

Dear little me, I’m sorry I hurt you.
But I don’t wish to take it back-
Because God likes taking trash, and recycle/reform…
He Loves you more than ever. I do though wish
I could have told you that-
While you were still…A fine strapping-young lad!
You know what they say, A chip off the ol’ block…
You had no regrets…without even a pair of socks!
You were so happy! Please forgive me,
I’m 45 yrs. old now-but you’re still crying inside of me…
it’s kind of embarrassing sometimes young Timothy.
But it’s also ok, Because you’re facing all this
stuffed down in your past-where high enough couldn’t exist…
You know you can come out of the waiting room now young man.

You now have gone, from beer, TV, and the old lady,
To Beautiful wine, woman, and song-Even though it’s really just grape juice…
On high demand at her command!
It’s ok, I got to get back to work-I’ll speak more when I’m done.
But yet till…Thank you for forgiving me…That’s your Super Powers!
And it’s all A-ok, Please believe me-that Super Power is in you!
You wouldn’t want doubt to steal it away from you, would you?
No way! for you’ve finally found your Savior, Shepherd, and King…
Jesus Christ the Holy Righteous One-never let your bad go to far,
in anything.

Do wish though-I could of told you then,
But you know man…I knew not then myself.

Love-your wife and kids’ hero.

*The glory of children are their fathers*
*And a Virtuous wife is the crown to her husband*
…Holy Bible