Dear Dad,

I can’t remember the exact day or even the precise year that this memory took place. At the time, I was working for MSG Varsity, a high school sports network in the New York metropolitan area. I was probably about two years out of college and maybe 23 or 24 years old. That job was a breakthrough. It was my first steady on-air job. Before getting an offer to work for MSG, I must have been rejected by 100 stations. I was pursuing what many thought to be an impossible career as a TV sports reporter. So many naysayers told me I was wasting my time and my education. But not you, Dad. You told me never to give up on a dream. You told me you believed in me and tried to provide any resources possible to help me succeed.

That’s why this moment, which I am about to share, meant so much to me.

See on this day, I walked into work and everybody was buzzing about Emmy nominations. I was a young reporter in the number one market in the country, so my expectations were low. Then, just as I was about to start writing a script, one of my coworkers told me to check the Emmy nominations. They said they were almost sure they saw my name listed. I don’t remember if I read a hard copy or if I looked at the nominations on my computer or someone else’s computer, but I got a hold of the list, and sure enough, my name was printed twice. In my first year as a reporter, I received two Emmy nominations in the number one market in the country. Before saying anything to anyone, I went into the stairwell and started to cry as I called you to tell you the news.

That’s the moment that is etched in my memory forever. That’s the moment I will never forget. I remember how I felt overwhelmed with emotion and how I could barely even get the words out to tell you. I remember how happy you were to hear the news and how you told me to stop crying.

It wasn’t so much the recognition from the industry or that I got to go to the ceremony and wear a pretty dress that made that moment so special. Don’t get me wrong. All that was great too. But at that moment, I felt I had proved that your unwavering support and belief in me were worthwhile. That you didn’t waste your time or money investing in my dreams.

A decade and change later, I have yet to win an Emmy, even though I was nominated five more times after that. But that moment in the stairwell means more to me than any trophy. That five-minute phone call celebrating with you and hearing the pride in your voice were and are the only prizes that ever mattered to me.

I love you, Daddy. Thank you for always believing in me.

Not a Second Apart

Not a second apart… born 1lbs and 13oz, you were there with me from the second I was born. You were there when I was first put on oxygen — not getting to see where I lived until Three months after May 23, 1996.

You were there when I first cried through those doors, it was you who lifted my head, letting me familiarize myself with what must’ve looked like a jungle… our house; a place you saw just a week before the Jewish holidays.

You were there when I had my first seizure at 2… the same time I was diagnosed with CP, which must have been somewhat of a bitter-sweet moment…after all those doctors I went to, or should I say we went to.

You were there when I first rolled over – which must have seemed like the first night of Chanukah, not knowing how many candles (activities of daily living skills I could do or how many key milestones I could reach).

When I wanted to go to college, it was you that I confided in and we made it through, fast-forwarding to now, when I timidity crawl through the process of finding a job, it is you that always reminds me, to keep being you, no matter how awkward you walk… never stop running to your dreams and jokingly or not jokingly saying, “ if you fall, you know how to get up!”

You are me and I will always love you!

Jake

I had fallen into a career I truly loved, selling floor care, cleaning products, and equipment. It came on the heels of me losing a job with United States Steel, Duquesne Works, in Pittsburgh. The mill closed, and I thought that was it for me, but my mother taught me to have a good work ethic, so out hunting work, I went. I found two jobs being a janitor. I had to provide for my family, so I did what I had to do. Fast forward 18 years after a very successful career. I loved the work, I loved serving others, and that’s what sales is – serving others. After 18 years with a great national brand of floor care products, Hillyard, Inc, they were changing how they went to market. They were slowly removing company sales representatives like me and moving towards independent distributors. I was the last of the company salesmen, and I knew my career was about to change. I was very frightened. I did not want to work for someone else. I had been relatively independent for 18 years and had built a book of customers of over two million dollars. So faced with a decision and scared to death I decided I would start an independent distributorship. I had never done anything like this, but I thought long and hard and wanted to leave something for my three kids. I wanted to leave a legacy and a business for our children, should they want it.

So I got some outside help and put together a business plan. I scheduled a meeting with the owners of the company I worked for and flew out to St Joseph, Mo. to Hillyard Company to present my business plan to the owners suggesting I’d become an independent distributorship, and the rest is history. That was September 10th, 2001. They quickly agreed. I ended my employment with them and took into the work of building Fagan Sanitary Supply Co. Some 20 years later, my children successfully run the company, and I sit here retired on a beach in the Bahamas. It was a frightening but great decision!

Dear Unsealed Community,
When I was in my first semester of college at C. W. Post I was very unhappy. I had never been away from home for any length of time or away from my parents. I was also a very sheltered 18 year old so I was a bit unprepared for the typical college bad behavior that goes on. Adding to this, I did not get along with my roommate or her boyfriend who was always sleeping in the small room with us. All this was a recipe for a case of extreme homesickness. I was heartbroken and needed my parents to be back in my life on an every day basis.
I made the difficult decision to leave a beautiful 4 year college and apply to the community college near my home in Rockland County. My parents thought it was a poor decision. They felt I was cheating myself out of the full college experience. But I needed to sleep in my own room and be in a smaller college environment where it was easier to make friends. I wanted smaller classes and a few more familiar faces at school. That is the beauty of community college.
As I look back on that unusual shift in my life, I feel sure I made the right decision. From the first day in of community college, I was happy. The teachers were interesting and caring. I was able to engage in in depth conversations because the class size was smaller. As the semester progressed, I made some great friends and also did extremely well in all my studies. But most importantly, I was back in the loving comfort of my home. I have much gratitude for my dear parents, Bess and Calvin Kalstein for supporting my decision to take a step back in my life. Sometimes going back is ok because it propels you to go forward.

With love,
Shelley

Almost six years ago, I graduated from Youngstown State University with honors and a Bachelor’s Degree of Journalism. I majored in Journalism, but I always tell people that I had a double-minor at YSU. I technically minored in Communication, but I had another minor: Determination.

Being on the autism spectrum, I attended job counseling. Every week, my job counselor had me try my best to find leads on job openings in journalism. It’s a small field and it’s something that’s easier said than done because of it.

About a month and a half into job counseling, I applied for, and was granted a job interview for, a production assistant’s position at one of the local network affiliates in town.

Days turned to weeks, and the weeks stretched into a few months. By this point, I was well into spring and still had no job. It seemed bleak, but a college classmate of mine told me about a website he was writing for.

So, I applied. Initially, I was declined because I wasn’t in the market of a major Division I athletic program, but I mentioned to the person in charge of onboarding that I’m a fan in MMA and in the fight game, there’s no offseason, just off weekends.

On the strength of that alone, I was hired as an MMA writer. Had I not taken a chance on the fight game, I’m not sure where I’d be today. 2023 marks my sixth year of writing about MMA and my second of writing about soccer.

If you’re willing to take a risk on yourself, the payoff can be something amazing. GO FOR IT!

Dear Mrs. Shuster:
Even though it’s been close to 13 years since I left the halls of Lakeview High School, but you are still my favorite teacher of all-time in my academic career. When I was just eight years old, you introduced me to The Rich Center at Youngstown State.

When I was 10, I was moved to your classroom and enjoyed every minute of it. Several years later, you moved to the high school. At age 15, you had a front-row seat to my pimply adolescence and saw how advanced my sense of humor became.

Around all of the fun we had, as well as going through the trials and tribulations of surviving high school while on the autism spectrum, you and I became family.

I could just see how proud you were of me at graduation that spring day in 2010. You are the best teacher in Ohio, and I consider you my honorary mom.

You’re the best, Mrs. Shuster! I couldn’t have made it through high school without you.

Dear Mom,

Growing up, I didn’t always appreciate you as I do now. I didn’t fully understand you as a child because our dreams were so different. At ten years old, I was outspoken and already very career driven. You always liked working and wanted to do well, but you never had a burning desire for a promotion or more responsibilities. For a long time, I thought you were less ambitious than me, but as the years passed, I learned that that’s not exactly correct.

Mom, you are the backbone of our family. When a crisis hits, you are the one we all turn to for comfort, support, and wisdom. You have this incredible ability to calm us all down while providing logical advice. When I got rejected by my crush in elementary school, you were the one who sat in my bed and told me I was beautiful. When I decided to go to private school 40 minutes from our house and then play for a travel soccer team 40 minutes away in the opposite direction, you (and dad) spent hours in the car, driving me back and forth. When I was worried about getting into college, you were the one who told me you were proud of me regardless of which school accepted me. When I opened up about my assault, you were the one who told me my response was normal and OK. When my ex-boyfriend passed away, you were the one who held my hand at the funeral. And when I started my business, you spent days on end sending out emails for me.

Mom, I have come to realize that you were and are very ambitious. You wanted, more than anything, to foster a loving family and you did whatever it took to make that happen. As a family, we have endured difficult situations together, and you have handled each with strength, grace, selflessness, and love. Every day, you have made our family a priority. To this day, you help us persevere through the most challenging moments of our lives, while also supporting us as we chase our wildest dreams.

Mom, you may not have wanted to be a boss in a boardroom, but you were/are one heck of a CEO in our household.

I am proud to be your daughter, as I admire and love you more than you’ll ever know.

With love,

Mentor: what do the last three syllables of that sound like? TOUR, a guide, and in the word MENtor, it’s MEN who are guided along for the tour of life: not literal men, people.

I remember it like it was yesterday, the place, middle school, the time, 2009, I was only 11 but, oh, I hear that rhythmic bell blasting right now;

it was the very first day of sixth grade when That final bell rang, it was time to go home!

I had an aide whose job was to help me with everything I needed. We walked downstairs, she at my side, making sure I did not get clobbered by all the rascals passing by me. We ended up “in the clear”. What came next was clear as day, forever seared into my memory…

“I learned more from you in one day than you can ever teach me,” she said. Her name? Ms. Rossi, and at the time. I remember thinking whoever this Ross guy is, (her boyfriend) he is a lucky man, and he eventually put a ring on it!

Anyway, excuse my diversion, As I was saying.. that compliment meant and still means something that even a Picasso painting can explain and anytime I need a jolt of motivational coffee, I envision my 11-year-old self hearing that endearing comment and smiling ear to ear; however, that statement, “I learned more from you in one day than you can ever teach me,” could not have been further from the truth!

A couple of days went by, and my mom’s best friend, a second mother to me, and my Occupational therapist, (OT) came into school for what seemed like an eternity! She taught me how to properly sit in this “special” blue and red chair.

Ms. Rossi did not blink an eye, as she was swallowing it all the instructions given to her up. As for me, I was swallowing it all up, then regurgitating it all right back out. Hey, can you blame me? My OT has a strong tone and after all, she is like my second mother.

I sat there like a flight attendant and only moved when my OT told me to.

She was the one who taught me how to do my daily activities in life which I was ignorant of and would have rather watched paint dry.

When my OT left, I took a deep breath of thank goodness this is over. Then, I remember taking one more breath – this time with excitement because Ms. Rossi whispered in my ear, “I promise you, I will NEVER be as hard on you as she was.”

Let’s just say, it was Ms. Rossi that did not remind me to take my binder to the next class and forced me to go back to retrieve it. That boy who thought her boyfriend was lucky to have her, now saw a different side, a fierce side.

I must say that if we played the Newlywed game, she would know every answer before the questions were asked.

I vividly remember having a gag reflex, and she could tell if it was an itch on my back or because I failed a test; It was like she could see into the future. one day, I was in class without a care in the world and thinking I was disrespected by my other teachers by them not having the same expectations Ms. Rossi did! she whispered in my ear, saying “I know YOU don’t want to have an aide and want to go to college: I don’t want to be an aide; I want to be a Headteacher.

it turns out that that whisper spoke as loudly as anything I’ve heard in my entire life, Propelling me to ignore all the whispers about me not being able to succeed, and not only getting an undergraduate degree but in turn, a masters degree.

As for the now Mrs. Candel, she has two children, she is a Headteacher and yes, it is at that same school, teaching english and social studies.

All I know, whatever lesson plans she has for her students, nothing will EVER compare to the LESSONS she TAUGHT ME!

Photo Credit: MenTOR

Giselle,

I remember the day I met you
I know you do too
I was lost looking for the cafeteria and I saw you

That day was the first day in my new school as a freshman coming in midyear. I had nine more inches of hair, a bunch of metal in my mouth, two less teeth, and a shyness so natural to me I would never speak up in class (or dare to make a noise in a quiet room). But, something that day made me talk to you. I asked if you knew where the cafeteria was and that I was new. You said

no

You said

you were lost too

The best thing about this story is that we found each other when we were both lost. This may sound dramatic––and it kind of is––but I was truly lost in that point in my life. I was lost in this big city with no friends, no direction, but as God had it, you were new too. I’m so grateful for you. We grew with each other, laughed with each other, cried with each other, danced with each other, and we did all this knowing it was always meant to happen.
I don’t think I was me until I met you. You made me more bold. You gave me strength. When I was down about my talents that one day junior year and thought I had nothing going for me, you made a list of everything I was good at. You decorated it with your vibrant colorful pens, and gave it to me with a speech. I still have that list today and I’m still so grateful for it.
You always made me feel worthy and you have always grounded me. No matter how different we are, you have never judged me and always had faith in me. I know I would be a much different person if I never experienced your kindness, or never rapped the song Mona Lisa with you everyday on our way to school, or never cried with you over facetime because of IXL, or never graduated with you, or never asked if you were lost that day too.
You are the one person in my life I know I will never have to live without. Thank you for always being more than just a best friend to me. Thank you for being my life’s soulmate and my sister I never got to have.

Your forever person,
Braya

Doubt. That feeling of swirling thoughts, a floating stomach, a locked jaw… It’s amazing the sensory input your body creates when you are unsure of something. And equally amazing how assuredness feels so much more peaceful. We tend to second guess, invalidate, or discard reason when we chase after that feeling of assuredness, trying to make the best decision. And this is the reality of doubt, a distorted perception brought on by uncertainty and further exasperated by panicked attempts at diverting it.

Turning thoughts over and over again will not bring you clarity. You have to let things rest. You have to face your doubt head on rather than turning your back on it and chasing after certainty.

As someone who has lived in a constant loop of indecision, giving power away, regret, and rebellion, I know what it’s like to doubt yourself. I spent so many years weighing my choices against other people’s expectations that I lost my inner guidance. Doubting one decision and letting fear be my guide led me to doubting all my decisions because I was so unsure of what was correct for me anymore. This doubt and disillusionment caused me to rebel, to go further away from myself. I was chasing after assuredness rather than looking at what was holding me back. I had to break the cycle. I had to look at my doubt and question where it was coming from. I had to be friends with it.

I’ve been on a journey of befriending my doubt for three years now. What used to be a large, dark, gnawing figure is now more like an annoying itch or a scared kid who just needs some reassurance. But I wouldn’t be able to look at my doubt with this level of acceptance if I kept chasing the most correct and assured options to compare myself to. I never could have conquered and transformed my doubt if I didn’t befriend it.

While I agree with the general consensus “Don’t listen to those who doubt you,” I like to think that you should listen to your own doubt. Don’t take it as fact. Don’t let it guide your life. But listen to it. Take some time to figure out where your doubt is coming from. Then take some more time to figure out how you can transmute it into self-awareness. Don’t let doubt be your guide, just look at it as that a part of you that needs a bit more attention. A part of you that needs a friend.

To Those Who Doubt Themselves,

Most people never discover how far their talents can take them.

Instead, it is so easy to let doubt hold you back. It’s so easy to ponder if you are smart enough, good enough, or have the stamina to climb the mountain you see ahead. And, of course, it doesn’t make it any less daunting when you have naysayers – people who say you can’t do it. But what I want you to know and what my journey thus far has taught me is that you’re in control of your destiny.

There are so many instances in life where I was scared to pursue a challenge. When I got accepted to an Ivy League school, I didn’t think I was smart enough to attend. When I decided to start a business, I didn’t know if I had the experience or resources to pull it off effectively. And when recently, I decided to start learning how to code websites, I honestly didn’t know if my brain could absorb a computer language.

As I questioned my abilities in those circumstances, other people also doubted me. Here are just a few comments I heard from people:

“You’re not as smart as the other kids who go to Columbia. You won’t do well there.”

“Do you know how many people fail at starting a business? You’re wasting your time.”

“How are you going to learn to code on your own? There are so many levels to it. You’ll never be able to be proficient in it.”

Despite my doubts, and the doubts of others, I pursued each challenge anyway.

I repeatedly told myself, almost like a religious mantra, “If someone else can do this, I can do it too. If someone else can do this, I can do it too.”

I made the dean’s list every semester during my last two years at Columbia(I think). My very first post, when I started my business, went viral. And with computer code, I found a cheap course online, and I am enjoying learning to code. It’s actually coming to me pretty easily so far.

So, don’t listen to any of your doubters. They are projecting their fears onto you. Always have confidence in yourself because right now, you have no idea what you can accomplish in your life. But I promise you, if you take a chance, if you have a little faith in yourself, and never give up, you just might be one of the lucky ones to find out.

With Love,

To My Dear Little One,
I have waited for you for a long time. I pictured myself holding your little body and playing with you. I do so love my family and the thought of expanding my loving unit thrilled me to no end. After all I have 2 beautiful children that have always filled my life with so much joy. Adding a new person would only expand my world with new purpose and happiness.
Then it finally happened. The day I was waiting for with baited breath. You finally arrived. That very first time I held you was so sweet. My heart soared. You were so perfect. Now you are getting bigger and every day your smile brightens my day. I love our face-time meetings. I am excited to see the changes that happen every day as you get bigger and bigger. You are an amazing baby.
My love for you has added a new dimension to my every day life. You give me a moment of respite in my busy and sometimes stressful day. You are also so much fun to talk to in our baby talk love language. In addition, every day I try to think of a brand new love song to sing to my dear baby boy. My voice is terrible but you don’t seem to mind.
Thank you dear sweet little love for bringing so much sunshine into my life. To you my dear baby boy, as my sweet grandma Lottie would say to me in Yiddish ” Gut Guzunt” and much “Simchas” in your life.
Your Grandma,
Shelley

To people who are too hard on themselves.
When I meet young people who have low self esteem or lack confidence it makes me sad. I was raised with a lot of love so I always felt special. But many people come from homes where there isn’t a lot of support. As a result there is no one to bolster them up when they fail. I wish I could be there for all the young people who need someone to tell them its ok to have setbacks. I would tell them they must keep trying because eventually they will succeed. And I will always be there to catch them if they fall.
When I was a 7th grade teacher in New Jersey I had a student who was failing math. When I would meet with this young girl she told me she just couldn’t keep up with the class in this subject. She just felt getting a good grade would be impossible for her. She was sad and dejected. As a teacher, it was my job to bolster her up. So thats what I did. I gave her private tutoring sessions 2 times a week for several months. Slowly but surely her test scores went higher and higher. She started to feel more confident in her math skills. By the end of the year she had a B average in math. How very rewarding that moment was for both of us.
I have learned so much by just journeying thru life all these many years. We all have our own personal strength that we can tap into when needed. I also believe we are not an emotional island. We must all reach out and seek support. If your heart is open you will find that there is love all around you. You just have to be willing to accept the miracle so appropriately put by Hilary Clinton.. It takes a village.

To someone who is too hard on themselves,

You must be so anxious and stressed. You never seem to be where you want to be in life. I know how you feel because I have felt this way, too. My older sibling was always smarter than me. As a child, he did better in school than me, and as an adult, he certainly makes more money than me. It is as though I have had this bar way above my head my whole life. And no matter how hard I work or how many times I try, I never seem to jump high enough to graze that bar with my fingertips. And yet, I never stop trying.

Throughout my adult life, I have worked weekends and nights. I have lost sleep as thoughts of work ruminate in my head, and I have pulled all-nighters just because I have felt like I needed to get more done. All too often, I find myself exhausted, stressed, and frustrated. And I have come to realize that those emotions are not helpful. I started my company, The Unsealed, 3.5 years ago, and until this past weekend, I hadn’t taken one vacation.

An opportunity to go to Disney World arose. And seriously, who can say no to Disney World? I attended shows, tried out new rides, and ate at new restaurants for three days. It was so much fun. I gave my mind a break – a moment to live in the present and enjoy the people in my life and the blessings surrounding me. I drove home on Sunday. Now, it’s Monday, and I feel refreshed and motivated. The weekend made me realize how important it is to come up for air sometimes.

For so long, I put pressure on myself and never took my foot off the gas. But that’s not healthy or productive. So, if you’re like me and push yourself very hard, I hope you learn to be kind to yourself, take breaks, and live in the moment. When you take days off, don’t think about work or whatever you are pushing yourself to do. Give your mind and your soul time to refresh, recharge and recalibrate.

Your ambition probably won’t ever go away. But what I have come to realize is that if you want to do your best in life, it’s vital that you feel your best.

Don’t measure your success with someone else’s bar. Prioritize your health and your happiness. And always appreciate where you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going.

Dear Kris,

Last year, I stumbled upon a CNN article entitled, “I have got terminal cancer. Here is why I am prioritizing travel.” The article shared how you were diagnosed at 48 years old with late stage four colon cancer. Despite the diagnosis, you remained committed to the activities that bring you joy in life, which include spending time with your family and traveling around the globe. I immediately knew I wanted to share your story with our community. I knew you would represent what The Unsealed is about: resilience, kindness, and strength. However, there was one result of meeting you I didn’t see coming..

While The Unsealed is not nearly as well-known or as prominent as CNN, you immediately responded to me and happily agreed to share your story with me. You sat on zoom with me for more than an hour and shared with me the shock of discovering you had terminal cancer. You had this proud grin on your face as you told me how you captured your wife’s heart. And you told me about the abundance of joy you experience daily by being the father to your sweet, intelligent, curious young son, Braden. But more than just your story, how you approach life’s challenges clearly came across in our interview. And that is with boundless positivity and a pure heart. When you receive a cocktail of intense chemo, you do so with a cheerful disposition and kind words to share with the nurses and doctors who treat you. You don’t approach work or everyday life with a “Why me?” attitude, but instead, you see each day as a gift to enjoy with the people you love most. You are aware of the reality of your situation, but you do not let it take away from the people and places that make you smile, as you continue to travel the world and take walks on the beach with your wife and son.

After interviewing you, we posted your story on The Unsealed in a letter to your wife and son. Then, you spoke to our community on one of our weekly zoom calls. Your zest for life and your pursuit of positivity are contagious. In the following months, I noticed I became more disciplined about staying optimistic about the challenges in my life. While starting a business is not nearly as difficult as battling cancer, it’s the obstacle I currently face. And because of you, instead of dwelling on what is going wrong, I started to look at what is going right and figure out how to lean into those tactics more. When a strategy I implement doesn’t go as planned, instead of feeling frustrated, I look for the lesson and adapt accordingly. When I interact with people, no matter how my day is unfolding, I always try to lead with kindness. The mindset you have helped shape within me has impacted my productivity, patience, and happiness. And as my company has grown, the process has become less stressful and more joyful.

Kris, when I first came across your story, I knew you would inspire so many people, but what I didn’t know was how much you would influence me.

Thank you.

Keep fighting! Keep smiling! Keep being you!

With love,