My aura is black.
Black because they tried to singe me with deeds,
Black like the sooty soil that nurtures her seeds.
Black because before they knew who I was,
When I was given no choice or even some gauze
Black like the bird that sings to be free
Black because my memories haunt me

Black like the sheep who’s breaking chains.
Black like the hole that’s swallowing pain.
Black like the smoke twirling up through the sky
Black like the panther and her silent battle cry
Black like the ash that softens the earth
Black because now she knows her worth

Black like THAT little dress, brilliant;
the one that makes every woman feel resilient.
Black like the lace of her wings
Black in the sky that midnight brings
Black like the velvet in her gentle coos
Black like silk skin that into she grew

So now instead of green, red, or indigo
My aura is black
Black like obsidian
Black like pearls
Black like geodes
Black because my shadows healed it so.

Darling,

It’s been way too long. Where do I even start? I’ve been waiting for the right time to send this and realized I should have sent it when I saw you fighting your way through a storm. Please forgive me for taking so long to connect. I may have been silent but you have always been on my mind.

I am so sorry you were put in a position where your confidence was whittled away until you were left with only the shards remaining of your once fearless spirit. I’m amazed by your strength and resiliency though. Your determination to get back to that place where self-assurance radiates from deep within is impressive. I love that although your journey has been anything but easy, you are finding the beauty in uncovering the person that had slipped away. You are discovering new ways every day to mend your wounded soul. I promise to be there for you to steady you through all of the maelstroms and to show you how deserving you are of a life overflowing with love and joy.

Exquisite woman, take this moment in. You put yourself in a box with no openings for far too long. You thought you were lost forever. Buried so long, it seemed impossible that you would ever be uncovered. Years of torment that only you can describe. The seed was planted long ago but the clouds overshadowed when the verbal assaults aimed at you started to invade your thoughts as you tried to determine if the words rang true. The rain dried up when your body became a battlefield for the anger and intolerance. You weren’t given the opportunity to grow the way you deserved but you have shown your strength. The sky has opened and the sun is peeking through.

You have taken the shattered pieces of your soul and crafted them into a mosaic of learned lessons, new discoveries and recovered blessings. I hope you see all the incredible qualities that we do. Your gentle spirit, your kindness that has no limits as well as your ability to see the good in all. You have managed a career and a household and through it all you have kept your sense of humor. The care and nurturing you have shown your three wonderful sons has well-prepared them to go out and tackle the world. You are brave, strong and intelligent. You are beautiful inside and out. You are enough and have always been enough. Your uniqueness and your confidence in embracing it stands out. My heart smiles when I think of you! I hope you know how valuable and cherished you are. I want you to feel peace like you have never felt before. My wish for you is to emerge from the chaos feeling more courageous, happier and deserving of the greatest kind of love.

The next time you look at your reflection in the mirror and you are trying to determine what to prioritize next, I hope that you look at that gorgeous girl with the beautiful smile and say pick me and you do. Remember your worth. There is something inside you that is greater than any battle you encounter. Keep breathing new life into every day and shine on. Hold on to those dreams. Your wild imagination will help you take flight and soar to heights you thought impossible. I can’t wait to stand with you as you step into a marvelous future and a life filled with happiness.

Love Always,

The Girl Inside

P.S. Keep going, you are doing amazing!

All this time
And I never wrote a note to me
So here’s to me.
Dear me,
You can be so hard to see
This girl who
Always had it easy
Or so that’s what they see
Heavy is heartbreak
But you were never made to carry this weight
So you grew in strength.
I wish it was as simple
as telling you how proud I am.
Imagine me holding your hand
You walk into dark rooms
You stand in flames
You shine when it rains
You and I are the same.
Giving has always been easy
But receiving and feeling
Leaves room for healing.
They will teach you lessons of sacrifice
But darling you only need to play nice
With the girl who looks back at you in the mirror,
For her burden is light.

I love myself cause God first loved me

I love myself because I didn’t like the old me .

I love myself because I am my longest commitment

But to love myself ain’t all rainbows and butterflies

To love myself means
to lose myself over and over again —in the process

I love myself because no one else was up for the challenge

I love myself because I wanna love you better and I can’t without it

I love myself because home should feel safe, freeing, and calming

I love myself because I don’t wanna keep on running

I love myself because I don’t need instant gratification

I love myself because I’m willing to wait and sacrifice for all things meant for me

I love myself because I owe it to myself to say goodbye to the old me

I love myself because I don’t wanna be 35, partying & hoeing

I love myself because I know what I want & I’m determined to work hard & go get it

I love myself because I can apologize when I realize of my wrong doings

I love myself because Depth — is hard to find

& Superficial — is depressing and boring

I love myself because Ik I don’t know it all
& Im willing to continue learning

I love myself because I love the world around me

I love myself because I’m humble and loving

I love myself because I want to give back & show my appreciation & gratitude to the one who
—despite my imperfections & flaws—

still chooses to love me ❤️🙏🏽

These are some of the reasons why

I love me

Mirror

I look into the eyes
Of the woman in the mirror
Breathe deep
And say
Those who said
You were hard to love
Were misinformed

Every holy man of old
Used to say
“Love thine enemies”
Maybe they include
All those dark inside places
Where you were told
You can’t be loved

I have roses on my tongue

Velvet kisses, words with thorns

I have magnolias in my eyes

Silver petals that mesmerize

Orange blossoms on my chest

Cover my heart with their zest

I have orchids for my navel

Like a sprite from woodland fable

Through my waist and far below

Hidden garden with its glow

My body, vase of stems and leaves

Ivy wrapped around my knees

Small bouquet of scent and wonder

Arranged for all to gaze and ponder

Tend my garden, see me grow

Water daily, love will flow

Then pick my flowers with delight

For they’ll come back throughout the night

As I stand looking in this mirror,
I’ve never seen myself any clearer.
I know it took longer than it should
But I finally love myself more than I thought I could.
There were nights that I didn’t believe
I’d ever be truly be happy just being me.
However, now I can clearly see
Depression was never a match for me.
I beat my own nightmares
I beat them all
Every night my terrors
Would again make me fall.
But the fire in my heart would always prevail;
For every time I fell, more love for myself, I would inhale.
It would have been easy for me to run
But to my darkness, I would not succumb.
Now the fire in my heart is also in my eyes
And I love myself more every morning that I rise.

Dear Me,

Self-love has been a journey of a million miles after being torn down time and time again, insulted, hurt emotionally and physically. Self-love is difficult when you’re used to being lied to so much that your mind suddenly becomes your biggest bully. As I wrote in my poem about bullying that’s entitled Target “[when] the weight of the impact hits you repeatedly you learn how to fall apart without learning how to put yourself back together.” Self-love, that’s the chapter I’m on right now. I’ve read the words of Scripture that say “love your neighbor as yourself (Mk. 12:31)” and prayed for the courage to love myself as deeply as I love others. I’ve sat in the Confessional where a priest in persona Christi (in the person of Christ) pinpointed that I don’t love myself well. I’ve made many a visit to my therapists office with a self-love workbook in tow hoping that learning about it will help me to live it. It’s not perfect but I am learning.

I love how I’ve been unlearning the things I’ve learned from those who were trying to steal my light.

I love how despite the setbacks and difficulties you keep trying to put yourself together after you fall apart.

I love how you will say yes to anyone who asks you to dance because you want everyone to feel what it’s like to be accepted.

I love how you are everyone’s cheerleader. You believe so ardently in the beauty of other people’s dreams.

I love how excited you get when you get good news—you can hardly contain it and you just have to share with someone.

I love how you refuse to let apathy consume you but how you feel deeply and unapologetically.

I love how you speak from the heart.

I love how you valiantly stand up for the things you believe in even if no one is following you.

I love your tenacious spirit, your determination, and grit.

I love your ambition and drive to accomplish wonderful and beautiful things.

I love how you have a mother’s heart even though you have no children of your own.

I love that you want to heal the whole world with love.

But most of all if there is anything I love about you it’s this.

That even though the world has been so unkind to you, you choose to keep your heart soft and to be so kind to everyone you encounter.

Darling there is so much to love about you.

And I know that sometimes you forget that sometimes so I wrote this letter to you so when you’re down or discouraged and can’t remember any reason to love yourself you’ll have these 13 reasons to choose self-love.

Sincerely,