SELF LOVE

SO, EVERYBODY’S LOOKING FOR LOVE OR VALUE EVERYDAY

Some Search Outside Ourselves
Some See Ourselves
Some Offer Ourselves Our Own Self-Worth, Or Self-Love
Some Struggle
Start Observing Everything Valuable, Especially Regarding Yourself
Your Body
Your Brain
You
You’re Beautiful
Believe, Or Don’t, You’re Still Special
You’re Still Loved
So Start Seeing Yourself,
You Shouldn’t Look Outside Or Keep Obsessing Over Lost Love, You, Yourself, You Spread Love
Love Offers Ourselves Keys Kept Internally
Notice Its Intricacies
Notice Its Intimacies
Notice Its Natural Gate Finally Opening Revealing Our Own Realm Of Real Love, Of Value
Our Vital Emotion
Our Rooted Views About Love Are A Vital Asset, And Love Understands Every Emotion, Every View, Every Remembered Experience.
Remember, You Deliver Your Devoted Affection Amongst Yourself.

Fun fact: one of the reasons why I love myself is because I found a new(ish), fun, and challenging way of writing which is what I used to write this poem. I took the phrase Self Love and created an acronym from it, then from that acronym I created a scrambled acronym where the only rule is to use the same letter or the one adjacent to it. I like to call them Aftonyms, or Aftonymbles. Aftons acronyms, or Aftons scrambled acronyms. I hope you enjoyed reading this little snippet from my mind, and I hope you have a blessed and love filled day! 🙂

Here we are
22 years later
We smile, show teeth
The glow is upon our face
In the mirror
We no longer critique ourselves so negatively
We see a perception of time that is you
Recognizing Beauty
To finally accept us
You Love You
This is the woman you’ve longed to become
Our soul is at peace
Subconsciously we can hear the joys of a no longer battle
With our Competing Minds
Within Loving me we feel alive
You notice when you love you that you feel everything ten times better
From The wind you hear ruffling through the trees
To the stars you see at night shines brighter than ever before
You laugh so effortlessly
You let yourself be loved
Inside you have this feeling of light
Light that is not hiding behind the shadows of reject, loss of self respect
No dim light in sight
Opinions have no effect if negative, you take it like a grain of salt
It’s okay if they leave, we let them
& Leva ( Live)
Our beauty, Our Love within continues to grow , to prosper
A Muse a perception of me of true harmony
Can you hear the angels singing?
Our skin tinglingly
Our hair growing
Our crown showing
Here lies me
Coming out of the shadows
Using voice of reason
Understanding loving within & what it means to be loved
A magnificent thing loving you is
How it can make you hear the birds chirping around you
The sun shining on you
It’s a bliss
A reality
We are now
Present &
I Accept me
I truly love me

As I write this, it’s February 14th, Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate love.

The phrase that comes to mind when pondering what love is – is “others,” aka being generous to someone else, as in NOT me. It is about making others happy.

When it comes to me, associating SELF with the word LOVE is as common as someone who doesn’t like Chinese food – very, very, VERY uncommon.

When the number reads 14, and the month reads February, for me, being single, the day is reserved for images of dark clouds and drooping flowers, instead of a rainbow perfectly expressing your range of beautiful emotions, whoever you are romantically attached to.

Reserving a table at your favorite restaurant, celebrating the day reserved to enjoy your significant others company is my personal definition of this day.

So, you can see why, as a single person, MY viewpoint of this day is filled with clouds and drooping flowers instead of the voraciously vibrant red roses.

I could point out a list of adjectives as large as jumbo popcorn: envy and sadness are a couple of kernels to explain how I feel about not having someone I am smitten over sitting on the other side of the table, making me feel that I’m with the only one and everyone at the same time.

Skewed and as untrue as it might be, having the one would make me feel whole. That said, as I am writing this, I am learning a very important lesson… there is a reason we have both iced and hot coffee.

So, with that, I’ll stop bringing out the appetizers and get to the main course: the reservation might be for two, just remember, adding a +1 does not mean you stop loving you, and self-love is love that NO person can give to you except ONE.. YOU!

And by the way, to my future Valentine (girlfriend) – since we love both of ourselves equally, we are splitting the cup because your self-love and my self-love is equally important to me and you.

Saved A Little Love For Me

When the one you love leaves you behind–
walks away–

you quickly realize
people never stay.

That there is all but one soul
from which you can never run away.

So I look for signs of art–
trying to decipher my own heart.

And that’s a start?

Making peace with what I find
all in due time.

Shoutout to the, “Let yourself hurt”
people.

No thanks to the, “Love yourself first”
people.

They can’t make me love myself.

I should
so, I do?

Can’t be helped
so, I’m screwed?

No.

See,
I don’t know (for sure)
what love is.

So I’ll write what I do
and I’ll do it alone.

“Withhold and explode
or write what you know—

there’s no greater loss
than a story untold.”

With these words,
I’ve built a home

for my art,
my dream,
my heart.

They’re the ink behind my pen.

Because words on a page
beat life’s stage
time and time again.

“Any love reserved for me
is a love reserved for trying.”

People come & go that much I know
If I take off these rose colored glasses
Does the love around turn to grey
How does one know how love is really portrayed?
Is it chocolates or roses in a bouquet?

I wake up & wonder will I ever find my true love? Find the one?
All this love pent up inside me
If I were to grant it away
what could we become?

Taken into account my every flaw mistake & dream
I am the only one who decides where my love is given
& I choose the life in which I am living
Not only that, but who can say I’m not enough
If I, myself, have prevailed through times that are tough
Who better by my side
Who better to stand tall
Who better to proclaim all the traits to see for all
Who better understands my feelings
Who better than I?
A desire to live a life fulfilled
To allow myself the love while everyone else kneels
In a non supreme way
It’s my self-love placed on a pedestal everyday
A tad egotistical, possibly
Uh, conceited? respectfully
My worth of self & merited love is synonymous
I wanna heal my heart
I wanna follow through
No more broken promises

My body is my vessel
Kept safe for me to nestle
Once, twice put in danger
I’m the only one who can make me feel safer

A declaration of solitude & independence
for only a man can stand by me
with leadership & competence
for my heart & body recognize I’m safe in this instance
To entrust in you is no small feat
It is a privilege to see me &
Have access to my energy
The love you give me has the ability to resonate so clearly

I desire not to fit your idea of perfection
View me as an empress to be in selection
May you only approach with chivalry
Then I’m happy to oblige
But certainly do not consider me your prize
When it comes to my ego, let that be its’ demise
I’m presented as a Lady
To address me as anything but is not a reflection of how I’m behaving

If all these men are blind, I’ll reminisce back to my childhood & rewind
If they taint my perception of love, my own fairytale stays aligned

They say law of attraction
But I have concern, even hesitation
Can this really come true
With a snap of a finger
With a wave of a magic wand
Where in the universe
Will these affirmations belong
Lo & behold the universe is inside me
If what I desire is to manifest
I have to release control
& let this ego burn a slow death

Is it my frizzy hair
Or my unsmooth skin
All admirable yet vain
It’s my true love within
Pampering, luxury, & care are all high in demand
Please, universe, bless me if I were look to for a man

Dear Unsealers, (poem entry, not a letter)

when it should have been the beating, red vessel sandwiched between my outside eyes

if it were for the before days when society was feeling abandoned

where the imposter we saw in the shadows were terrified news hosts and burnt out brethren retiring from their zoom calls

i would have have fallen further beneath the undertow

but the continued dance of shaking hands and friendly smiles made the chain of events commence

and i began to embrace it:

my lips exhale the affirmed words of safety

the stares of the narrow-minded turn into LED bulbs-

hang on… there might be something here

open-mindedness is taking off its apron, rushing to greet me at the door,
i used to get nervous having company

but i have become my own best friend

i can snuggle in safety, buckle in my seatbelt as my brain indicates to me i have permission to slow down and pump the breaks – once i have learned to drive

i can touch my 8 x 11, knowing every jagged line is a mountain, ripple, pique and valley of a memory burned through trial and error-

my oddly favorite smell, a worked-out body

the feeling of ecstasy after nailing an impromptu choreography routine, loving the expressions i feed the mirror

i can now ignore the lights getting brighter, signaling my ending is near

and sure, i am only but a human. i have always seen where i’ve faltered, lacked, detracted. but i can feel myself become something grander – like a human version of a wind-up toy

i’ve accepted my body as a vessel, an input output machine like gradeschool homework, correcting my body when i set my skin on fire-

*takes a breath*

i have eczema

i’m slowly conquering the line between conceit and self-awareness

discovered obsessive sorries are empty pockets of exoneration

i replaced apprehension for curiosity, my pulse now beating within reason as the flicker of answered questions make way

“what’s that?” is now celebrated, not mocked with disgust by the random grump on the street

i recognize myself. really.

i’ve changed “i’m so pretty” to “there you are… i’ve been looking everywhere for you.

wow. you are magnified.

here’s your handle.

now hold on tight. you’re only going up.”

Love,
Me (Meghan Dhawan)