Hush teenage Ashley please don’t cry if only you knew what your future looked like. I understand you feel lonely and unloved too but trust and believe that God has big plans for you. The emotional trials and tribulations that has constantly let you down is a required prerequisite to prove you are worthy for the crown. Sleepless nights and uncontrolled tears were the evidence of your frustration when no one was near. Later you will find out you were never alone, and God heard your secret prayers when you thought no one was home. To whom much is given certainly much is required so accept your circumstances as a badge of honor. The pain that you endure is meant to push you to your purpose and the anointing that’s on your life is strong enough to make hell nervous. So, in spite of the opposition that you have to face the blessings that lies ahead is your game winning check mate. So trust the process and no longer ask WHY YOU but ask WHO ARE YOU that your childhood had to be misty blue.

Dear Younger Self,

I hope this letter finds you well. As you navigate through your teenage years, I want to share some advice that I wish I had known at your age.

First, I urge you to focus on finding your purpose in life. It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day activities and distractions of teenage life, but it’s important to take some time to think about what you truly want to do with your life. When I was your age, I often felt lost and uncertain about my future. I wish I had taken the time to explore different career options and reflect on what really mattered to me. Once you find your purpose, commit to it and work hard to achieve your goals. This will give you direction, motivation, and a sense of fulfillment in life.

Second, I want to emphasize the importance of building your confidence. Without confidence, life can be a long and hard journey. I remember feeling insecure and doubting myself often during my teenage years. It’s important to work on believing in yourself and your abilities. Start by focusing on your strengths, being proud of who you are, and not letting anyone else’s opinions define you. With time and effort, you can build the confidence you need to achieve your dreams and navigate life’s challenges.

Third, relationships are important, but they should not be your main focus at this stage in your life. Take time to heal and mature before pursuing romantic relationships. I remember feeling pressure from peers to date and fit in during my teenage years, but looking back, I wish I had focused more on building strong friendships and nurturing my family relationships. These relationships will give you a support system and a sense of belonging that will be invaluable as you move through life.

Fourth, take care of your physical and mental health. Exercise regularly, eat well, and get enough sleep. I know that it’s easy to neglect your health when you’re busy with school, activities, and socializing, but taking care of yourself is essential to your well-being. When I was your age, I struggled with anxiety and depression, and I wish I had known the positive impact that exercise and self-care can have on mental health. Make time for yourself and engage in activities that make you happy.

Finally, learn how to communicate effectively with others. Good communication is essential in all aspects of life, from personal relationships to your career. Be an active listener, speak clearly and respectfully, and be willing to compromise when necessary. I remember feeling frustrated and misunderstood during my teenage years, and I wish I had learned better communication skills earlier. Practice communicating with your family, friends, and teachers, and remember that it’s okay to ask for help or clarification when needed.

In conclusion, remember that life is a journey, and it’s important to take care of yourself along the way. Keep these things in mind, and I know you will be successful in all that you do.

Sincerely,
Your Future Self

You’re in excruciating pain, scared and confused. That’s due to the multiple skull fractures. You will always be reminded of what happened because of the lifetime of pain you will endure, but you heal. Better than anyone could ever have imagined. Despite the amnesia, God will allow you to keep the memories you have made with your children. For this, you are grateful. Unfortunately, memories of that night are also something that stays with you, but you see it as a starting point from how far you’ve come. This is also something to be grateful for.

After he fractures your jaw, he uses pliers in an attempt to remove several of your teeth. He wanted a souvenir. God is with you when this happens, therefore he ends up with nothing. The dentist is the only one who collects a tooth several months later. It’s necessary for the healing process. In time, you will find yourself able to enjoy dinner with your children again.

You regain your hearing even though he ruptures both of your eardrums. God will allow you to hear your Autistic son speak his first words eventually. That’s when you’ll realize your life will be filled with miracles that have nothing to do with that night. This is when you stop counting your blessings and accept them in abundance.

It will take over a year for you to ovulate the way a woman should. That’s okay. Eventually the pain you experience due to the trauma inflicted to your uterus lessens. You’ll only be reminded of it when menstruating. At times, you’ll think about the little girl that you always wanted but push those thoughts aside when you remember how lucky you are to have two sons already.

It was rape. There is nothing that you could have done differently to change the events that unfolded that night. Be kinder to yourself. It will take years, but the nightmares will subside. You will no longer find yourself drenched in tears, awoken by your own screams. God will allow you to dream again.

You survive. Your mind, body and soul will be forever altered, but that’s okay. You will struggle with relearning everything you have forgotten, because of this, you will evolve into a different person. A better person. One who displays strength and compassion in all that she does. You will piece yourself back together and the broken in you will be your beauty.

God will allow you to heal. He will assure you that this happens through the love and bond you have with your children. They will repair you mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Remember to thank God for this in your prayers daily and thank your children by reciprocating the love they use to save you with. Love is all they have to give you; that’s all you will ever need to make it through another day.