I’m broken but who isn’t we’re all just trying to make things right, for the religion was believing in yourself and to find just a piece of light.
The story of a lost soul, trapped away.
A soul that’s hope has withered away.
I just want to feel alive,
I just want to feel at peace,
I just want to feel the ease where I’m able to see..
Chained down by endless defeat.
Giving up when things get to hard,
For being controlled was all we are.
What a bad thought to have yet it stirs up ever so often, where I have nothing left inside, feeling worse than broken, but pulled apart, asking the question why does life have to be so hard?
I used to love to dance and be free, I was a wanderer of the stars, always waiting for a time for me and my spark, then awakened the dark.
Looking back to something long forgotten, yet there it was etched upon my skin making me itch and burn and feel weary and thin. Feeling as if I was the one forgotten, and everything was a lie, making me close my eyes and cry. Scared to fall asleep at night.
Then one night a storm passed by.
Howling long and strong with contentment, and a breeze that made you think back to a time of trials and testaments, yet time went by and the noises had settled. A deep sensation had risen over me,
For I was the phoenix rising through the finer things, reborn, steadfast and strong.
I grew to accept my nature as the light of the sky,
And of the night. The one who works up the fight.
The one who never gave up without a try.
Life goes on, they say you don’t know
Until you try, look into a deeper sight.
Stand tall, keep your head up.
Your dreams aren’t as far as you think.
Even when it seems like a wink,
A thin link between the cracks, my life had been but a dream, far beneath reach, but I decided for me there is always a new time and beginning to past defeat.
Then one day i found the missing key,
A key that had been stored away for safe keep.
I found deep inside, an ember of light.
To get up, and to fight, a calling sent from above that can’t be ignored for this call is for more than me, a call for all of us to see..
The dark and the light that t are a never ending fight. This story has no end because the journey has just begun, we will start again, and forge ahead.
Thought of trial and tears, all the distraught fear,
Picking up pieces of a puzzle that was set in place.
For only god knew what you went through.
For through the dark is where we find the light.
The saying goes deeper than words.
Everything does truly happen for a reason,
Phenomenon of the truest stories and lessons ever
heard.
I’m broken but who isn’t,
A thought that crosses my mind.
From time to time, whispers of shattered dreams linger, and souls bear burdens hard to reconcile,
Yet in the mosaic of brokeness, we find,
A common threat that binds.
Each of us carries wounds unseen, in the shadows where pain has been seen. For who amongst us has this fear of despair, the seeds of our own.
In these moments of darkness, we search for the light, to guide each of us through an endless night.
The story unfolds, for every battle fought does not go untold, we still stand, hand in hand, so don’t let the broken parts of us decide who we are, for this is the canvas of our hearts. We are beautifully imperfect creatures from the start, we are the symphony of struggles, a dance to begin,
For in our brokenness we find our song,
A melody of resilience, mighty and strong.
Hi! This is BEAUTIFULLY written. You crafted an excellent flow and this was super warm to read! I love the line where you said “the mosaic of brokenness”. I really love the way you celebrate being broken and find the beauty in it! I’m beautifully broken too 🙂
One of my earliest memories takes me back to when I was around six years old and at Geauga Lake (look it up kids!). I am there with my Gram (who is still kicking to this day and certainly an authority on overcoming hard times). I can remember even then her saying… “If something is too good to be true, it is. You can’t skip steps.” That was a constant refrain followed by constant warnings against kidnappers.
But I am too busy walking off the Big Dipper near closing time, and I notice there is no line. Decked out in a neon fanny pack and my best jellies (again, look it up!), I feel like destiny is shining upon me. Everything in my short six years has been leading up to this moment. I am positively on top of the world despite needing to use the restroom and failing to tell my Gram of this plan. I don’t bother with a pesky line – no way! I simply skip it by crawling underneath the ropes, zigging and zagging between turnstiles and proudly presenting myself for one more ride. I am so caught up in the glory I don’t think of the much needed bathroom break nor the woman who firmly believes every amusement park is a cover for the bad guys to kidnap me.
I never make it on the ride because my Gram is screaming for me, and I am so flustered that I trip on the way back out, more zagging than zigging, and fall face first on the concrete. My glory is gone. Gram is still screaming about not skipping steps – and lines! – and she’s still right today. You cannot skip steps and should always look out for kidnappers.
I draw your attention to this anecdote, because her lesson was was twofold. One, you have to surround yourself with people who want you to succeed and act accordingly. I didn’t know back then how important relationships and building them would be, just that I loved her. Find a person who is in your corner, and don’t burn that bridge. A mentor can take any shape – a priest, a teacher, a neighbor. It is a beautiful gift when you find non-romantic relationships and build your support system. However, I still wasn’t listening as much as hearing about this not skipping steps stuff.
I am not going to pretend my life has been hard. That came later. I was a child to whom everything came easy. Not homecoming queen but friends with everyone. Not the smartest but top of my class. Went to college, studied abroad, attended law school, passed the bar the first time, met the love of my life and had a spectacular wedding. But when it came time to have a baby, my body quite literally betrayed me. I was told I would never have kids. And it was like I was face down at Geauga Lake all over again, but I still wanted to race to the finish.
I see now things were too good to be true because I hadn’t built a foundation to deal with the overwhelming changes – the IVF treatments, added expense, and fights with insurance companies. This was all before I could even get pregnant. Gram and I discussed a quick plan of putting in the work and staying positive. That meant quitting my prescription medication, cutting out drinking and working out. A voice in my head whispered But you aren’t pregnant, you can skip that.
I’ll tell you the second prong of advice now. The first being to find a person who supports you and gives good advice early… and then you actually take it. I didn’t realize how difficult dealing with infertility was going to be. And I was so angry. Is this privilege? Absolutely, and when I commit to something, I really commit. I didn’t stop my medication, oh no. I took extra. I didn’t stop drinking; I poured another while scrolling social media and tormenting myself with Instagram gender reveals. Positivity? What was there to be positive about when I couldn’t get what I wanted easily?
I fell so far in my marriage, my career, and who I was. I know now from working out, eating right, getting sleep, and doing meaningful work that I could have kept my mind and body aligned for the journey to motherhood. Instead, I turned up at my Grandmother’s door much later than I should have, lost and scared in a way I never knew. She held me while I words failed me. It was sadder than being told I couldn’t have kids.
That day was both not very long ago and also another lifetime. I am back on my feet, a practicing attorney who can walk 5 miles a day, can make more than reservations for dinner, and show up in my own life. It is because I live every day grateful for having a support system. Putting in the work and not skipping the steps to wellness, for me, has been tough. But I am different and more present and joyful because I know I can handle the toughest of times.
I will be seeing Gram tomorrow for our weekly lunch date. I won’t be late, and I won’t have to cancel. I do not skip steps when it comes to what matters and neither should you. Six year old me would be proud of this woman – a mom to a silly golden retriever who hasn’t given up on the hope of motherhood and also wears a fanny pack to court.
You are such a great writer! I really like the way you told this story; I felt like I was face down on the concrete with you. You made it very easy for the reader to see this story come to life in their head and I want to celebrate you for that! Excellent job 🙂
To whom it may concern, might you share in my journey of perseverance…!
At 30 years of age, I can say my entire experience has been a testimony. My grandmother raised me. My mother passed on when I was just about four years old, and my father spent most of my childhood years in another city or state. As a child I was extremely curious! I was also gifted, charismatic and reserved. It was evident that I was different. It took me a while to really understand that the only opinion that mattered was my own. Not in a defensive way either. More so, I know what I am, who I am and whose I am. If I want to change something about myself, I have the strength, wisdom and discipline to do so. As long as I love myself through the process, no one’s judgment can harm me. I’ve outgrown internalizing someone else’s opinion of me. This has become the center of peace in my life and is the reason I can live my life in the way that suits me best! My upbeat life began in early childhood, at roughly 5 years of age. I danced with 2 dance companies until I was 13. I am soon to be 31 and I still dance! I’ve studied ballet, tap, jazz, majorette/dance line, contemporary and modern dance. Independently I perform and I teach dance during the school day. I began to teach myself how to do nails and study the craft in elementary school when I’d gotten my nails done for the first time and my grandmother told me that she wasn’t going to pay for me to go back. In 2014 I obtained my nail technicians license and in 2021 I obtained my master educator certification. I currently have been running my exclusive nail organization since 2017! I allowed my growing pains to be a compass in helping others understand their thoughts and emotions by becoming an inspirational speaker. I’ve learned how to use my voice by way of writing my own music. I release creatively through crafting and painting. Sharing these intimate parts of myself with others. My gifts gave me purpose and everyday I put my best foot forward to secure the promise of my legacy! Learning how to be a serial entrepreneur while also being human is like learning how to juggle in real time. With no experience. I’m learning how to manage 5 entities under my LLC series. It’s a lot but I’m doing it anyway! It is difficult some days and a breeze on others. I’m still committed! Nothing worth having comes easy! I have been blessed to be able to keep going and so I am. May you be inspired and motivated to answer the call to your greatness!
– Sincerely, Porsha
You are a GODDESS. Nail license? Musician? Writer? AND managing five entities? You’re really doing it all!! Thank you so much for sharing your story with the world and inspiring us not to give up 🙂 keep writing!
I was born a hoarder of mediocrity, dispirited by even the most menial of tasks. Gifted with abundant aptitude—cursed with atychiphobia. What use is a cat without sails, hopelessly set afloat in a sea with no current? When faced with a challenge, I’d give up before contemplating the reward. I was a winner of few, loser of none, for I could never lose a game that I’d never play. I too was a quitter wholly, by heart and mind; complacent, satisfied— safe.
Coddled by this mentality, I drifted aimlessly through grade school, consistently settling for participation awards. If it didn’t come to me naturally, I’d quit each sport my parents put me in by my second season. My room lay riddled with numerous abandoned projects. By middle school, quitting came to me as soaring does a peregrine. Only when I’d discovered the joy of making art did I learn to persevere.
My eighth-grade art class diverted me from a lengthy path leading to one destination— life-long unfulfillment. Tasked with creating an acrylic flower portrait, I finally accepted a challenge. I’d finally tried to move the boat. My vision translated from my mind to my hands to my canvas. This was it, I thought. This was what I was made to do. This was something I wouldn’t desert. Just shy of a few weeks of tedious editing and revisal, my painting was finished. I gently propped the canvas against the board, but when I stepped back to get a better view, my smile faded. My face contorted as I fought the oceans-worth of tears welling my eyes; I’d failed.
I’d ruined, disrespected, mutilated the flower’s image. Water started pouring through the crevices of my fatally flawed vessel. As I slowly tore away from the world, the sea of chagrin engulfed me greedily. Instinctively, my muscles relaxed as I began my descent; I’d already given up.
Just as the sky began to fade away into the murky sea, a small, wooden row boat floated into view.
“You’re a natural-born artist”. As if one compliment from my teacher had unturned years of defeatist ideals, my body began to propel itself to the surface. My hand gripped the ledge of the boat as I pulled my body over the side. I moved like it was something I’d always done. Before gathering myself, I briefly stared at the sunken catamaran below. With a scull in each hand, I started my next project.
This time I’d set out with a new mindset; this time, I controlled where I’d go. The subsequent project turned out as wretched as the last, as did the next few works I’d produced. Still, I would not quit. Art is a passion that would’ve laid dormant if I’d quit when I wanted to. It mattered not the quality of my work, but the slow improvements with each piece. I learned that like most things in life, art is not something perfected on the first try nor the second. It is not until the hundredth try that an artist starts to appreciate their work.
To this day, my art does not meet my standards, and it likely never will, but I’ll never stop creating. I’ll keep rowing until the water parts and my feet can touch the seafloor. Even then, I won’t stop moving. I’ll keep running until I can no longer endure because quitting is a comfort known only to the ordinary. Set sail with the propellant of a thousand ships and may your ship be unsinkable.
I’m so glad you found your passion! I, too, have dozens of half-done projects and half-baked dreams, so I understand the joy that comes from finding the thing that makes you want to commit despite your nature. I’ve been an artist for YEARS and only just made the first thing I truly thought was “good” a couple weeks ago. This is a beautiful…read more
I’m not giving up right now.
A middle aged white man calls on a Friday, letting me know I don’t have a chance.
Let it go, this won’t go well for me.
Wait, what?
Finding that spot within myself, where my ego jumps ship.
I’m not giving up simply because it’ll be hard to prove.
I’m not giving up because it’ll be hard on you.
I’m not giving up, but I understand why so many do.
I’m not giving up because I know my truth.
There’s no holding me back,
I’m not confused anymore.
Despite being scared, exiled by friends.
I’m standing up for myself.
When I testify on Monday, I may be scared.
But I will not back down,
I will set the bar here.
And when I am mocked and told it’s not a big deal,
I will think of myself and every one in this place too.
As lonely as it feels, I know I cannot be alone.
I will hold up my stop sign, and trust in myself.
I am not stopping at green,
Because I’m learning to go.
This is a beautiful story. I love the simplicity and the vague element to it. I really feel like I’m reading between the lines and soaking up a story within a story. It takes a special skill to move someone with little detail, and you do that really well here! Thank you for sharing 🙂
It’s so easy to give up
Nowadays too many people count you out
Before you can even start to pursue your goals
But if there is anything I’ve learned
There are situations,
There are challenges,
There are distractions,
There are difficult times,
All of which will test you,
Teach you,
Mold you
Or prepare you for life’s biggest blessings
I remember back in 2018
I was partying with my family on Memorial Day
The next day I struggled to get up for work
On May 30th, 2018
I got a call while at work that my apartment was on fire
Everything was a blur
Taking a cab all the way to Brooklyn
Not even sure what it cost me that day
I was headed back to the remnants
Of what used to be
It was the last place my mom called home
As tears filled my eyes
I could smell the smoke
As I approached my door
I didn’t know exactly what I was in store for
The beautiful memories on the wall gone
Much of the pictures that we all treasured
Much of the priceless artifacts we retained from traveling
Much of the furniture
Much of my mom’s last purchases
Much of my family’s history
Lost in piles of ashes
Several days and months went by
Thankful for the love and support
Of family and close friends
I was able to stay positive
Trying to rebuild from scratch
‘Cause what else was there to do
Creating a go fundme page was suggested
But my pride wouldn’t let me do it
I worked tirelessly
Drowning my pain and sorrow
Feeling hopeless
Losing sight of my reality
Numbing my depressed mind
With gifts
Not trying to guilt trip
Possible scenarios
Left me realizing
I had to stop feeling sorry for myself
Instead, find hope
And persevere
I had to remember to make my mama proud
Though rebuilding takes time
I knew I had to start to make my remodeled apartment
My home again!
Wow, that was powerfully and wonderfully felt and understood-amazing picture and reality of the circumstances life gives us unexpectedly. Great work my friend, and awesome attitude during a devastating time…That’s the spirit of a sound mind God says He gives to us, as opposed to the spirit of fear. Your life is a blessing to others- keep…read more
My first reaction was also “wow”. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to go through something as life-changing as a fire. It’s really incredible for you to take this experience and see the beauty in it while also using it to create! Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thank you Saga it was such a trying time and it wasn’t until now that I found the need to write about it… I appreciate you taking the time to read it and provide feedback thank you 🤗
There are very few things about myself that I take pride in
But at 26 years old, I can say I take pride in the fact that I’ve never gotten into a fist fight.
I mean aside from the lack of appeal in the concept of consenting to another person damaging my face, it all just seems so kerbobbled.
It’s also because I think, I may, probably, possibly, definitely lose.
However, Theres always an exception. And in my case, two.
I know when it comes down to a fight for my siblings, I will not lose.
My brother, more gold than that bridge spanning across the San Francisco Bay, I’ve found my god and those promised pearly gates through the beam in his eyes.
My sister, nothing less than a generator of majesty and the receptacle of my divinity’s origin, She is the source of light my destiny clings to.
Both, an embodied compilation of so many of my victories, I have yet lost a fight when it comes to them.
I fought for our sanctuary to remain a home even after the invasion and crumbled into a warzone.
I fought for innocence to remain the outfit we could still wear because trauma didn’t quite suit us yet.
For our skin to remain as sacred as an impromptu roast session or a 3-man bedroom party.
For arguments to remain as simplistic as who hid the TV remote when everything around us was out of control.
For hugs to hold us together while we fell apart.
For laughter to be the portal that returned us bring us back to each other on the days we didn’t know who to blame or to hate or where to start.
I fought against the lonely that lingered in the shadows of a 3am, for it to never distort us into believing a 6am sun would never rise in us again.
My siblings are the breath and life to every one of my words that became a corpse muted by the midnight valley known as myself.
I’m 30 now and while the list of things I take pride in has expanded exponentially, so has my understanding in the realization that I’ve actually spent my whole life fighting.
Its been 509 days since my sibilings and I have been apart and lately it seems I’m only fighting for my desire to keep fighting.
My mournings feel like eternities of disbelief.
My daze feel like seas of grief.
My knights feel armored with defeat
And yet,
Time reminds me that fighting is revolutionary.
It pays homage to our ancestors who fought for us before and preserves our legacy for those who are sure to come after.
If we listen close enough, we can hear the wind whisper that it’s almost 6am and we’re so close to rising again.
Your metaphors and imagery are AMAZING. I read, “I fought for innocence to remain the outfit we could still wear,” and audibly gasped. I can see your story so cleary and feel everything you’re writing so deeply. This is wonderful work!
I love the comparison of opposites! Thank you for the reminder that two “opposites” can both exist at the same time like peace and pain or weakness and strength. Great concept for a poem, keep writing!
Thank you for teaching me what a dizain poem is! You did an excellent job with the structure and flow of this piece 🙂 This is such a simple and sweet reminder to continue pushing. Thank you for sharing!
My childhood had exceptional ups and crummy downs. I also wasn’t the most well-mannered daughter. My mom always did the best that she could with what she had. Those are some of my best memories. Working 3 jobs and I was helping her with one. I could’ve done better, but I learned my lesson. I understand now that is how life is. One thing I also know now that I didn’t know then was that parents understand you. They know what they are talking about when they are having an important conversation with you, so make sure you listen. It’s for a reason and it doesn’t make sense at the moment. It makes little sense until later, when you least expect it.Ever since I can remember, we mainly lived in apartments and my mom was usually the on-site manager. It was always small communities, but it was home. I always enjoyed helping my mom and I would see my mom and how she was with the residents. At 16, she started having me help with a few tasks like answering calls, setting up showings, collecting rent and writing out the receipt. I hoped to be outside playing with my friends. Whenever my mom would ask me to help her, I would make faces. I was thinking my mom wouldn’t see. I just found out a few weeks ago that she knew all along. We can laugh about it now It is something that I feel she was pushing on to me and was looking for other options to do after I finished school. I did one fast food job, which wasn’t for me. I had one retail job which also wasn’t for me. Since I had helped by mom, I had some experience in office work, so I got one job in property management. I was the leasing agent and who would’ve known that I would be so good at it? I stayed there for almost a little over 2 years.I moved and did retail pharmacy for 6 years; I did because I had to, not because I wanted to. The only bright side is I would see my coworkers. Property management was still a topic I would like to discuss. I’d offer advice to the customers when they’d mention something about the apartment they were living in. I quit my retail pharmacy job and didn’t know where I was going to next. It seems like no matter what I did, my heart was always with property management. I prayed and believed that if property management was truly my calling, an opportunity would present itself, considering my 10 years of experience. I got hired by a temp agency telling them I wanted to try this again. Since it was a while, I preferred to go the temp route. I went to one position and I remember how excited I was to be there. That specific situation did not feel right, so I called the agency and they switched me right away. Speaking up instead of remaining silent was a moral decision, and I’m glad I made it. Because I respectfully advocated for myself, I accepted a temporary position with another company. I love to help and learn as much as I can, so I was excited to be a temp with this company. I have a tendency to ask what feels like a thousand questions. The people I would talk to were so helpful, understanding that I had limitations in my ability to help. I had to keep learning and continue to wait for an opportunity to show mainly myself that I can do it. The opportunity to prove myself showed up, and I showed out. It felt amazing to know I was on the right track. I got hired by the company. I worked for the company and gave it my all so much that my 1 year review was proof that I sure can do this and I succeeded. There was another opportunity that appeared and it was a company that I had worked for about 10 years ago. I love how life comes full circle. I didn’t have the experience back then that I did now.I ended up getting a job as an on-site manager. Once I was moving in, I called my mom. I told her thank you for showing me at the age that she did and for believing in me. I apologized for my behavior from when I was younger. It seems like my mom knew what she was talking about. She had seen something in me I didn’t and it took me time to believe that I can do it. I am so proud of myself for not giving up and believing in myself and being able to be a part of a community, just as I always have been. Home is where the heart is and for me, that’s being a part of a community. I am proud of myself for not giving up. It took sometime to believe in myself like my mom believed in me. I’d always remind myself that nothing worth having comes easy. If it was easy, then everyone would do it. That’s why it feels so great when you achieve it. Only you know how much you worked for that. No one sees your struggles behind closed doors and those are the toughest battles, but it’s ok you can do this because you deserve it.
I love how much detail you put into this piece! You really put me in your head as a reader from helping your mom as a kid to fast food to retail and everything else on your journey. Your piece sounds very bright and uplifting and I love how conversational it feels! Thank you for sharing 🙂
That Time I didn’t give up.
I was in crisis feeling lifeless, but that didn’t mean that I loved life less. I just know I had to pass life’s test.
I had more blessings to go in my cup.
I had so much love.
Which is why I’m grateful for that time that I didn’t give up.
That time I didn’t give up.
Let me count the ways.
I gotta give God Praise.
I cherish my life that can’t be erased.
Remember you are strong and you are more than enough.
This life is so crazy rough.
Which is why I’m grateful for that time I didn’t give up.
This piece hits hard from the jump! “I was in crisis feeling lifeless, but that didn’t mean that I loved life less. I just know I had to pass life’s test.” hit so hard that I had go back and read it again. This is excellent! You have a very smooth flow and packed a lot into a very short poem 🙂 Good job!
I was always that kid that stood out, the one that was just different from the other kids. I was either too energetic or too down. My hair was usually not brushed or taken care of, and my clothes were usually too small. Watching as all my classmates would get good grades and understand the lessons being taught, it began to affect me emotionally. I sat there feeling defeated every test, every report card, every honor roll ceremony. I gave my all to my work and just could not get it. I felt dumb and hopeless, and I gave up by about 7th grade.
As I walked through adulthood, I realized I was good at working. I have great leadership skills, and I can pick up pretty much anything that I learn quickly. A completely different me, I thrived (survived one might say) in adulthood. For about 10 years, I was a single parent to children who began to walk through the same educational difficulties as me.
I was sitting in a room with my oldest daughter, 7 at the time, doing homework when she screamed, “I’m so stupid!” her face resembled a tomato on a rainy day. This was just the beginning of my journey to advocating for my kids. Shortly there after, my daughter received an IEP, Independent Educational Plan. Within one quarter, she did a 360 with her grades. She was comprehending everything!
My oldest daughter is now in 9th grade, an honor roll student since 3rd grade, in an engineering program that will allow her to get an Associates in Engineering and her high school diploma simultaneously. She is projected to be the first college graduate on both my side and her dad’s side.
Along this journey of advocacy and educational equality, I’ve had to be my own teacher. I had to learn to be the student in order to understand the journey my children were on. My family and I faced so many barriers on this journey, each one becoming a necessary lesson to learn with very valuable knowledge. Today, I am on my 2nd IEP journey with my youngest daughter, and it is extremely empowering.
I’m able to offer so much to my children that I didn’t have access to. I’m grateful I get to show them my successes while watching them grow into these beautiful and brave human beings. Have faith and give yourself grace, but most of all, don’t give up! You can change where you’re at as long as you believe in you!
Wow, what a beautiful story! You did an excellent job of telling a clear and engaging story. I’m even feeling a little emotional! As someone who struggled in school, I can relate to all the feelings of doubt and it’s beautiful to see you understanding your children in a deep way and being able to make sure they don’t have to go through the same…read more
Dear reader who is going through hard times,
Being in the moment helps assess what lessons there are,
Experience is the cruelest teacher but it helps one along,
Pause.
One such moment that hits home for me,
My first year of college being only 17 or 18,
Standing on a stage alone without instrumental experience,
My slam poetry piece turned out to be the pits.
I had some decent rhymes,
Fluidity here and there,
But also tried smashing in all the syllables,
Until the message was deflated of all air.
Later found out,
It didn’t resonate with the crowd,
So separated from their ears,
Last place led me to make a self-focused vow.
The following school year I didn’t slam poetic words,
Had thought of giving up,
But that left me upset, perturbed.
Little did I know I’d be more invested than I was,
This writer since 8 years old
Became its planner without any kind of grudge.
Hired to plan the slam for the next four years,
I kept advising and guiding others into their writing gears.
Auditions in front of a small group of people,
Feedback for those who asked,
Making it understood inexperienced poetry
Shouldn’t lead to one’s soul being slammed.
Biggest event in the land,
At least while I crafted it my way,
That position reminded me to never give up,
And I keep writing to this day.
I love the journey that you took me on! I feel like I can see your childhood self on that stage and feeling discouraged yet also rising up and reclaimng your craft. I’m so glad you kept writing, this was great to read!
I hope I caught you at a good time. I heard that you needed some inspiration and motivation to not give up on life. I know everyone is talking to you about not giving up on school, your goals, your dreams, etc. But no one is talking to you about not giving up on LIFE.
First, let me give you a scientific fact about yourself that you may not know. Your brain is still developing. The part of your brain that you need to make rational decisions has not formed yet. It is in the formation process which is why you may feel like you are not making the right decisions. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Now that we got that important statement out of the way let me tell you a little about my story.
I know, firsthand, how life gets real for the youth. When I was 12 years old, I lost my younger brother to a car accident. Besides all the other things I was going through this incident rocked my life. Knocked me right off my square. Life, from that point, didn’t make sense to me. I was sad and depressed all day, every day. And every other emotion you could think of I felt also.
By age 15 I didn’t want to live anymore. I didn’t feel like I had anyone in my corner and the pain I felt in my heart wasn’t going away. And then I met some friends in high school who gave me hope. They made me laugh and smile daily. They wouldn’t allow me to sit in my misery. The funny part is that they never knew that I was internally sad because I didn’t talk about it.
When I met this group of friends I decided to not focus on my sadness. I decided that I was going to work on being happy. I decided that my life was important, and I wanted to see how far I could go in life. I decided that I was too young to be depressed and stressed. And this is what I need for you to do. It is okay to learn how to be happy from other people. You must learn somehow.
Oh, the one thing I left out is that I created a strong, consistent relationship with God. I prayed every day because that’s where all my strength came from. And before you say you are not religious, I want you to know that God isn’t religious either. He is love. All those love songs you hear is God expressing his love in various ways. You can’t spell love without God and yes, I know the letters don’t spell the name thing, but the meaning does. (Hopefully, you work on building a relationship with him yourself to get the full understanding of what I’m talking about.)
There is a verse in the bible, Jeremiah 29:11 that tells us that “God knows the plans for our lives which is to prosper. His plan is not to harm us but to give us hope for the future.” When I felt down, sad, and/or out of place I recited this bible verse to myself to remind myself that I am here for a purpose, and if I don’t live life intentionally I will never know what that purpose is. The same goes for you.
I know you are young, and you feel, as a youngster, that all you have to worry about is having fun. Which is true to some degree. No one wants to stop your fun. We just want you to have fun wisely so that you don’t make any mistakes that will come back to hurt the future.
You deserve to be a Lawyer, Teacher, Accountant, Astronaut, Supreme Court Judge, President of the United States, or whatever it is that you want to be in life. You deserve a happy life. You deserve a life full of peace and joy. You deserve all that and more, but you have to start appreciating life to get it.
And, I heard you say that life gets boring when you get older. That’s not true either. Life is what you make it. If you want a boring life, you will have one. If you want a life full of healthy fun and entertainment, you will have one. The life you live will be the life you created which is why I’m asking you to not give up on life but to think about how you want your life to look in the future.
And you are not too old to use your imagination. If you can see it, you can be it. What you call “imagination” adults call “manifestation”. Either way, I bet it will help and you will begin to see life in a different light. With the understanding that you are not going to stay young forever and that life gets better in time, with patience and consistent prayer.
I hope my story helped you understand that we all go through tough times at a young age. I hope my letter encourages you to stay strong and not give up on life but to look at life for what it is, a purpose to be filled by God.
Sincerely,
Danielle Davis
P.S. Matthews 6:9-13 teaches you how to pray if you don’t know how.
Thank you so much for sharing! As a “youngster”, this was really nice to hear 🙂 I loved hearing you talk about how God is love. This is a beautiful reminder to find God within us and give ourselves grace! Love and light to you <3
Daddy am I still your heart do I still deserve the world in a purple little raven box.? You are my super man and i’ll never let you go
you wear that cape with grace and i’m begging you to pull through
Daddy please i need you
I love you
Don’t check out on me
hold me PLEASE HOLD ME like you did at tata funeral though my heart bled out for the lost of my big sister you would never know how safe I felt in your arms I hope you know that I’ll never search to find that type of security in some young man arms who could never love me as much as you do who could never fill your shoes or ever claim the part of my heart that belongs to you
yet I hope
No, daddy I pray
My future daughters father is fortunate enough hold his baby girls heart like you!
My daddy
Strong ! light! love !
My daddy the one
The fighter , provided, whenever I need him my daddy man of his word my daddy a warrior, don’t fold his grief deep but his smile never go
His love unconditional So many baby girl i’m proud of you so many baby girl I love you ain’t no question in my mind how much my daddy gone step for me so many conversations and congratulations on repeat so much respect given even in a argument my daddy never left me so I am insuring this pain hopeful but knowing he bred me in the field and he ain’t never fold so why would I act like I don’t know that a brain injury is small shit to a giant and even though he said he tired his love goes beyond this situation
I know whatever the outcome it’s with strength so I won’t let him suffer
I won’t be selfish
I’m grateful our conversations end with I love you my daddy gone pull through I speak peace over my daddy life
He hold his family down
My rock
The warrior who always shower me with safety,security reminding me that no matter what it’s okay ! his wife would say I’ll pull a plug on a man that never gave up? No! I ain’t gone let my daddy suffer though!
I need my rock
I need your protection and advice when life is life Yet I know my daddy did his part and that’s why I’m suffocating at any moments of him not being here to tell me how much he love me for him to pull up! My daddy The one
Man of his word forever
My daddy solid unbreakable, unconditional, unexplainable always coming through for us and it’s never goodbye it’s always see you later I be looking at life beating my chest until the day that I die because he ain’t dead no matter what the doctors say or that heart rate the brain is a complicated thing and again
He not gone suffer because he made me promise that when it’s the end ..
He still lives Forever
Fuck grief
I ain’t mourning
I’m scared of having to keep a promise I ain’t ready for !
My father that one and time will tell he will make the decision in the end that’s the type of man he is
I pray to the god within to the god in me to the god in him
I pray to his spirit to know that I’m strong like him
My grandmother raised him solid and just like he always had his momma Im gone always have my father. His best interest at heart! He a fighter and he the type of man that will die on his feet not on his knees or laid up in hospital bed against his will I speak peace over my daddy life
Not agony
Not grief
Not death or stress
Peace over my daddy life forever
Road to recovery or road to transformation he know his baby girl bred like him
I’m gone hold my head to the sky even when I feel weak
I won’t drown my sorrows in alcohol I need a clear head while dealing with this
My daddy the one, unbeatable , man of his word loving his kids beyond flesh and bones!
No I ain’t pulling no plug but I’m gone let him decide if he ready to go.
In the end I’m here! Here to tell him I’m hurt but ready for whatever battle that may come and he ain’t got to suffer for me or worry about me
I’m gone be alright !
My daddy the one….Forever
Man of his word coming through for me to the end of time! Forever
They say life is short but I’m not attached to this world my daddy said celebrate him keep moving chin up chest out
I speak peace over my dad life
I’m gone breakdown from time to time
Yet I’m gone channel him every chance I get I speak peace, gratitude, respect, understanding and abundance over my daddy life!
In this time of strife
I keep my head held high
I smile like he did
I cry like he did …
I keep solid like he is ! Forever
This is such a sweet piece. It’s really wonderful to know people have such wonderful relationships with their families, and I’m glad you shared your story with us! I especially love the ending of your story, the last four lines really wrapped this piece up very nicely 🙂 Thank you for sharing!
Stop the hating!
Can’t wait till you get caught.
“It’s just schizophrenia.”
No, its not.
“It’s time to wake up!”
I don’t want to wake up and listen to these whining bitches, yelling in my head, yapping hounds.
I don’t want to hear the screams that make my heart leap,
I have no privacy; they are inside of me.
Whispers through furnaces, running water of the shower.
Day after day
Hour after hour
Gets worse when the sun goes down
And I am alone to dwell
“Are they really real?”
“Demons?”
Quick turn the lights on.
When it comes to the unseen, I am a coward.
In the quietness of the night, I am over powered by this “nothingness” and I feel defeated by the power of this supernatural mental illness.
Whispers from cars that pass by, running water of the shower, the fans.
Day after day
Hour after hour
I can’t remember what I was thinking, what did I say?
What do you mean I was screaming at cars that passed by,
Screaming in the shower.
I know its just my imagination.
I don’t know what happened but why is this room padded.
You have to wake up.
I don’t want to wake up, I want to be left in the peace of being dead.
“Nobody likes you.”
Ok that’s it I’m getting up; I must not give in to these pieces of shit voices.
Anytime they want to be real I will be waiting
I’m not giving up
might be a cure. Might be a cure.
God I sure hope so.
I love hearing pieces about mental health because it’s really important for us to shine a light on underrepresented communities! You painted the picture of your experience really clearly and I want to commend you for it. It’s wonderful that you found an outlet for your emotions and I encourage you to keep writing!
A dream not only to help others but to bring my passion to life.
My passion just happens to be dogs and that’s due to how they helped me through my trauma due to my childhood.
I didn’t know at the time how much they would be there and save me until later on as an adult; which I am now.
I wanted to give up having them and working with them because I didn’t have the support from family or friends (at the time) so I didn’t pursue it like I wanted to and lost my way for a while.
Then I found my husband who supported me and does still to this day.
I prayed to God to help me find my way and ultimately I have regained my passion and after almost giving up several times and recently I am not starting my dream.
Helping people and helping dogs.
Without God being there and being a constant in my life I wouldn’t be here where I am today.
Giving up sounds easy but there’s more to giving up then what you think.
Continuing can be a challenge but every step of the way I trust myself more, have gained more confidence than I ever have and making steps to becoming better.
If I gave up I wouldn’t be able to meet some wonderful people I am meeting and helping me start this wonderful journey.
If you don’t have support like you want then pray. I can promise you that will help than anything else.
It’s so wonderful that you never gave up and found your path! I also really want to help people so I feel connected to this piece. It’s so wholesome that you turned your journey into art 🙂 Keep writing!
Sitting here thinking about how far I have come
I would’ve never thought it would’ve been me
Just a year ago I was drowning in my depression
A pool full of tears
Im talking way past knee deep
I woke up everyday feeling like death was near
The grim reaper was the neighborhood watch that kept all trespassers away
It’s like I was living in a gated community that only housed me
Christ was right up the block
Less than a mile away
Life humbled me quick, it took my smile away
I was down bad everyday
I couldn’t even write a poem all I knew was to pray
Here I am a year later writing poems full of praise
Thanking God for a new life, Thanking God for his grace
Everything that was taken from me has been replaced
Reinstated, reimbursed
Karma had me feeling like my life was cursed
Obedient enough now to not make the same mistake again
I got my defense right
I’ll never give up even if I don’t win
Every L that I take is a life lesson
Change is necessary in order to keep progressing
Times may get tough just never give up
We don’t go through anything that we can’t manage
Trials and Tribulations make us who we are
We’re the ones to shine bright even in the dark
Shavonne I am so glad you didn’t give up and you found your peace. Keep praying. Keep believing and keep rising. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed family. <3 Lauren
Hi! This is BEAUTIFULLY written. You crafted an excellent flow and this was super warm to read! I love the line where you said “the mosaic of brokenness”. I really love the way you celebrate being broken and find the beauty in it! I’m beautifully broken too 🙂
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