Spoken word
I am heard
From paper to presence
Poetry has given me unlimited expression
I am free
Oh how I do love thee

To have no judgements
No expectations
Only speaking from my highest vibrations
I radiate my lungs
I embody every room in which I stand
Taking my audience on my journey with me
From ear to ear
Rather than hand to hand

To have aced every essay
To have read books in the summer
Who knew my calling was to be a poet or an author
No one shows you this is a feasible path
Discouraging you
Saying it’s impractical, unattainable
Only because they’ve never dreamed
of being outside an office or a cubicle
I won’t be naive, I won’t falter
Because for me this dream is anything but impossible

I love the way poetry makes me feel more myself
Every artist can tell you
It’s not for love of money
Not for approval or acceptance
With every note sung, brush stroke, or word spoke
We are emanating our deepest passions

We are the few unafraid to allow our hearts to shine through
To be vulnerable & bare
To conquer our fear of public speaking
Standing alone on this stage
Yet I don’t feel alone
Sharing my truth with others
Yet it’s safe
It feels like home

Cliché to say
But I’m thankful, grateful & blessed
I have found my passion
I withhold love for myself through my writing
& Perhaps call me old fashioned
But there’s nothing more sentimental
Than receiving a hand-written letter
Instead of this new age typing

It’s true paper will always beat rock
Because when my pen hits the paper
I fancy the way the ink glides
The world makes sense again
Writing letter by letter
Mastering my scribe
Curating every sentence
Every stanza
Every story with pride

My thoughts no longer jumbled
I can now see so clearly
I feel weightless
I feel untouchable
It has been my superpower for the world to hear me
Some people want to leave behind money or a legacy
For me—
I will have left my voice, my story

Oh poetry, I love & value thee
Thank you for being a safe place for me

Each day I go through the motions
Fear of abandonment
Fear of rejection
Fear of slipping into depression
Here I am—
Fearful of anything refraining me from existential satisfaction

I am but an organism
A display of God’s creation
Making choices
Turning left, turning right
Made a mistake
Mmm maybe that’s not quite right
I fear I’ll never learn the way

A glimpse of insecurity
Then doubts creep in
Losing my mind
Forsaking my sanity
Now I’m wrapped waiting until a spider devours me
Lack of mental discipline has stricken
A simple insect, a simple human
I used to feel whole
Now I fear what started in my mind
will continue poisoning my soul

I eat, I eat again
Body skinny, fat, healthy, weak
Hhhh I breathe
I could be lazy and limp
Or even exercising daily
But to no avail
With whichever I choose
My body is here or moves there
I fear I have no excuse

Laughter with a friend meaningless
Life with or life without sun
Mom & dad, sister, brother
Who have I become
I fear I’ll never figure it out

A janitor working hard, humbly
An accountant sitting back idly
Which career am I supposed to have?
Money, potential greed
I fear the green will never be enough to succeed

Needing the validation
The ability to express our person
I do this, I wear that
Aren’t I such a trendsetter
Do you see my purse
Do you like my hat
I fear we’re all just carbon copies

I see the sky, it’s blue
Something bad happens, I feel blue
The grass feels fresh under my fingers
So does everybody I come into contact
But at the same time nothing feels new
I fear I’ve lost the privilege of my senses

Yearning to fulfill a life fulfilled
Enacting as my authentic self
I fear to live a life mundane
To be but a body & a given name
I have reached the boredom
I’m fearful of living a life so plain
Take away the fulfillment or lack thereof
Everything in between is what’s to blame

Or is it?

I won’t fear that every day is the same
That I’m stuck in the repetitive cycle we call rat race
I’ll relinquish doubt & follow my passions
I’ll learn to smile everyday I wake
That much I can manage
Learn to be thankful for the connections that come my way
Cherish my breath
Say hi to a neighbor
Thank my God & pray
Dance like no one is watching
Dance like everyone is
Work on myself & that which I cannot face
I’ll thank the animals that have been slayed
To provide me a meal so I can live another day

Away with you fear
I’m in control
I will prevail
For I am standing
In all my strength & demanding

Away with you fear
Suffocating negative thoughts
It’s time I start being mindful
A new practice I’m planting

Style score: 68%

Everyone has a past
But when the past seeps into the present
We face the repercussions & cultivate resentments
I have no direction
Unable to pinpoint what brings my life satisfaction
I’m consumed with anxiety, impatience & even aggression
When do I find that which calms me
Brings my entire existence it’s longing serenity

For I was searching, searching
A rock to ground
A hand to hold
I’m losing grip
Not a grasp on my soul
Through the motions I flow, rather fall
Attempting to prevent a downward spiral

No one to save me
The Lord is my Savior
If I sin, will He still tolerate my behavior
Mistakes forgiven, still on Earth living
If & when my purpose is fulfilled
Does my soul contract submit me to Hell
To have been high as a kite or down on bended knee
I hope He knows I’ve lived life genuinely
If to live 100 years or die tomorrow
This life had meaning because it’s He who gave me
A life absorbed by love, family, & humility
Despite the trauma & downfall
I have risen above because He’s helped me conquer all
In my lowest, weakest point I struggled to see the light
But yet I heard Him say hold on as much as I might
Entrusting in the process & willful strength was met with my own doubt
To have never seen the light
I was certain I’d end this life without

Face to face with my tower moment
My demons making their presence known
My back uncovered
My vulnerable side shown
With nothing & no one
Even rock bottom was a stranger
Mustering the strength & courage was distant but not foreign
Never would I have to summon it to this magnitude
Changing everything within me from my mindset to my habits to my attitude
Rebirthing into the person He knew I could be
He had the answers all along when the negativity refrained my vision to see

Now in my future, I see the light
Not THAT light, but happiness which knows no bounds
My worries & fears are weightless
It’s as if I’m floating off the ground
I couldn’t be where I am today
Without a little faith, grace & a daily pray

This was the point everything changed
The point where it was every wrong turn but still the right path
To have only now found He & my angels
It was me against the enemy right from the start
Attempting to reign chaos on my mind & my heart
Nonetheless do I have appreciation for the struggle yes
But now to live my life with Him in succession
I am untouchable in the most humbling sense
I am able to resonate at a higher vibration
I can now entrust that I live my life to its fullest ascension

Here as I am, young as could be
Naive to the world
Still assuming good-heartedness in humanity
Still a hopeful child supposed to be carefree
Yet an emotional crutch is what’s seeken
To be without guidance
Facing, fighting turmoil without any alliance

As I wanted to make my parents proud
I wanted parents I could be proud of
As much as I longed for true friends
I felt loneliness in crowds
As I searched for love & acceptance
Real connections were experienced in bouts

I looked for comfort
in my providers, partners & past
Only to realize the evolution
I needed would project me fast
Into thy future self, one unrecognizable
But at the same time never more in tune with my predestined time table

Little me, little would I know
Blissful memories are but fleeting
Relationships may exist for only a season
& the happiness you feel could be so misleading
But as you evolve & become your own
This life you lead will be uplifting

Purging all vices has proven worthy
Practicing forgiveness for my misjudgment & worry
But beware, processing emotions & confrontation will deem weary

I feel just a tad depleted
Giving more than receiving
It’s being shown efforts are not being reciprocated freely
It’s time to call power back to source
Energy back to self
Focusing on my mental, emotional, & spiritual health

Trials and tribulations one’s come to know
This new person has looked in the mirror & acknowledged all we’ve done to grow
Alone but not lonely
Grounded and safe
No longer living life with the need to hesitate
Now guided by my abilities, my angels, my faith

It’s in the present moment
& awareness of self that I will concentrate
All in all, this life I live is simply just great
If there was ever a need to worry
Please let it dissipate

Oh to my younger self
Release all worry and attachment
Let your family, friends, future go
It’s not as if the future is even yours to know
Everything will fall into place
This life will be the most colorful story & Your younger self is just the preface

Everyone’s so keen on giving their opinion
When did it come to be I wasn’t living out of my own volition
To ground when needed
To explore when convenient
I measure up to no one & not where I’m supposed to be
I’m living life at a pace comfortable for me

But sometimes we need a push or more so persuasion
Perhaps it’s my stubbornness
But if I wanted to be farther ahead
My soul would’ve acknowledged submission
Needing to hit the mark right from the start
Perhaps it’s my perfectionism
Regardless of the decision to stay or any attempts for challenges I face
I try as I might & try is enough
For when I succeed I know it’s because the weakest parts did not give up

All else left to a biased perception
But there’s no one better when it comes to my self reflection
Matter of fact add criticism & progression
The only thing I’m in competition with is my inner demons

Not a requirement for one to stay
But my story, my voice will be heard
Not being rushed for the time I take
Nothing left to interpretation
Nothing left to be dismayed

In another timeline it’s already set in stone
Now in this current dimension my person has to find which way to go

It’s through these setbacks & challenges
I’m reminded why I’ve been given this life
To live, to breath, to try as I might
No matter when or how long it takes
It’s only allowed for me to decide

People come & go that much I know
If I take off these rose colored glasses
Does the love around turn to grey
How does one know how love is really portrayed?
Is it chocolates or roses in a bouquet?

I wake up & wonder will I ever find my true love? Find the one?
All this love pent up inside me
If I were to grant it away
what could we become?

Taken into account my every flaw mistake & dream
I am the only one who decides where my love is given
& I choose the life in which I am living
Not only that, but who can say I’m not enough
If I, myself, have prevailed through times that are tough
Who better by my side
Who better to stand tall
Who better to proclaim all the traits to see for all
Who better understands my feelings
Who better than I?
A desire to live a life fulfilled
To allow myself the love while everyone else kneels
In a non supreme way
It’s my self-love placed on a pedestal everyday
A tad egotistical, possibly
Uh, conceited? respectfully
My worth of self & merited love is synonymous
I wanna heal my heart
I wanna follow through
No more broken promises

My body is my vessel
Kept safe for me to nestle
Once, twice put in danger
I’m the only one who can make me feel safer

A declaration of solitude & independence
for only a man can stand by me
with leadership & competence
for my heart & body recognize I’m safe in this instance
To entrust in you is no small feat
It is a privilege to see me &
Have access to my energy
The love you give me has the ability to resonate so clearly

I desire not to fit your idea of perfection
View me as an empress to be in selection
May you only approach with chivalry
Then I’m happy to oblige
But certainly do not consider me your prize
When it comes to my ego, let that be its’ demise
I’m presented as a Lady
To address me as anything but is not a reflection of how I’m behaving

If all these men are blind, I’ll reminisce back to my childhood & rewind
If they taint my perception of love, my own fairytale stays aligned

They say law of attraction
But I have concern, even hesitation
Can this really come true
With a snap of a finger
With a wave of a magic wand
Where in the universe
Will these affirmations belong
Lo & behold the universe is inside me
If what I desire is to manifest
I have to release control
& let this ego burn a slow death

Is it my frizzy hair
Or my unsmooth skin
All admirable yet vain
It’s my true love within
Pampering, luxury, & care are all high in demand
Please, universe, bless me if I were look to for a man

Yes
you’re my family
my partner
my friend
But no—
It’s time I reflect
I don’t allow any disrespect
No thinking you know what’s best
No shaming me for who I choose to be
No condescending comments
No glares in my direction
Don’t even think of crossing me without hesitation
Won’t tolerate any doubts
Those I can live without
Don’t think I’m cold-hearted, that’s not the case
My heart is so big, my love is so deep
But I’ve been hurt before
That only those who respect me
are the ones I’ll keep
My mind, body, and soul is stronger
Cause I’ve healed all that’s hurt
It’s come to fruition that I will not be treated like dirt
I am who I am and my self love is divine
You either come correct or I’ll have you step in line
My energy is too valuable, too precious
I’m the one who got me up out of the trenches
From my tether to the sky to the roots in my feet
From the blood in my veins to my beautiful heartbeat
I’ll give you the best parts of me
It’s the utmost respect that I need
Not just need, but require
Is it not respect from me too that you desire?
I will not command & I will not beg
How you approach me is up to you
The amount of respect you give
shows in all that you do
You can choose how this goes but
it’s with me the path is clear
with me you’re looked after
I’ll give you love, loyalty, and laughter