Dearest love, I know your heart has ached and you’ve weathered storms alone. I see the way you shine your light, even when no one else would know. I love the way you stay so soft, and the way you bloom like a rose. Those stormy nights have only watered something deep that grows. No longer should you hide away, no longer letting worries stay. I see the parts that have lain dormant, a whisper of the soul. I know your strength and feel the power that courses through your bones. It’s time to claim and accept the parts that once felt unknown. So embrace the joy, the blessings, and life that are a gift to you each day. Sink sweetly into the pocket of peace that comes when you let yourself play. Each moment you have a choice to feed that which you wish to grow, so tell me love, will you choose less or something else unknown? Even when things seem unclear, the choice of faith is there. Trusting in a path unknown, a higher path is sown. Let your wings spread, feel the sunshine, celebrate the space! Even when the clouds arrive, keep that beautiful smile on your face. The depths you have travelled to, many would remain. But you have seen the dark space and turned it into light. Your devotion to being whole will always be what’s right.

New years are meant for starting over
Beginning clean and new
Unless you’re of the queer persuasion
And your government’s against you
Then blossoming becomes a struggle
As you strain simply to bloom,
Crushed under heels of persecution
Swept under rug by bigoted broom
The seeds we sow in ‘25
Require roots down deep, robust
If we’re to thrive and survive,
Under a dictator we can’t trust
To blossom sounds lovely indeed
But queer friends we must burst,
Break barriers and far exceed
Hoping for best, planning for worst

89%

If I Warned Me
If I warn of heartbreak
What risks will I take?
If I warn of vulnerability,
I’ll then conceal what others see.
If I warn of uncertainty,
Will I, too timid, ever be?
I’ll choose to live in mystery
Betwixt the fiery sparks that flee
In the rhythm of life’s spontaneity
Sans warnings from the likes of me

100%

Addiction

I’m an addict
And I know it!

I revere two of the three Cs:
Coffee, candy, and cigarettes.

I love my coffee alone with my contemplation
Of life, likes, posts, news, like a great commotion,

Flitting from one to the next trying to see
What’s best before I rest to be free.

Posts galore and replies of mine
Make my day, as the taste of Coffee

Feels like a sinful pleasure.
With my dark drink, I bite into chocolate,

And drift into a coma at heaven’s gate.
I savor the sweetness along the strength

Of body of the coffee and it’s bitterness.

Life with the morning rituals
Cake, candy, chocolate, coffee and sweets

Is like life without a hero like Ferrero,
Or Cadbury, Mars, KitKat, and Aero!

Raising the bar in a day filled
With noise, poised to litter the mind

With fear, worry, and being drear!
So my habitual start is set in stone:

Coffee, contemplation, quiet that have
A lead to social media, news, where I refuse

To succumb to its dadarkness
That needs to twist your morning addictions

Into a depressive, foggy darkness.
Let your coffee’s wisdom fill
Your empty cup with hope that will

Reject solidifying into despair,
But reaches in your depths to repair.
©️ Malak kalmoni chehab ©️

Your perky aroma pops me out of bed
Preventing stabby headaches in my head

I get to work each day on time
Before the late bell dares to chime

And with your spunky caffeine kick
I rarely, if ever, call in sick

On days my nerves are worn and frail
You’re there to comfort without fail

Hot, roasted beans all warm and toasty
Reminding me I love you the mosty

Dear Fear,

You creep in shadows, whispering low, a voice warning me not to show the love I hold, the truth I bear, instead to seek healing in God’s prayer.

You paint the world in black and white, warning me to hide and not to fight. You say the way I love’s not right. That I’m standing in darkness instead of light.

But Fear, I see your twisted game; you thrive on silence and grow from shame. You feed on doubt and plant despair, yet I refuse to live there.

For love is love, and I will be free. No hate can steal my soul from me. I won’t shrink back or hide in disguise. Rather, I’ll meet the world with open eyes.

So go ahead, lurk and loom, for I’ll fill the dark with light and I’ll bloom. I will face your storm with strength and a love so fiercely bold and true that not even you can break through.

Goodbye, Fear, you’ve lost today. I choose to love. I choose to stay.

Sincerely,

Me.
Style Score: 100

FEAR
Fear: fast heart beats feasting feverishly
Every time fear ramps serotonin quickly,
Amply avid in avoiding pain, fastidious in
Remaining alive to tell the tale of FEAR.
FEAR

BREATHE …
Barely breathing, the brain astoundingly
Reveals its respiratory ease, by reviewing
Every fear, entering the data, waiting
Another moment for analysis, wading,
Through the morass of a lack of logic,
Hearing only haloed heartbeats, heaving.
Eternally aware of time flowing: BREATHE.
BREATHE ..

THINK …
Through and push through thinking
Halves my reasoning, homing only on survival
Instead of clarity of thought,
Never receiving the memo of
Knowing that ‘fight or flight’ is all in a knot. THINK.
THINK …

ACT …
Actively, arduously permitting action that
Covers slippery seconds of being frozen, while
Time reveals your success, failure, and your missing fervor.
ACT …

©️Malak kalmoni chehab ©️

Back in October of 2024, I attended a fundraiser for the safehouse that helped me through my time of great need in healing.
I was a nervous wreck, and had managed to talk myself into going after weeks of back and forth, pros and cons.
Would I fit in there?
Would I belong there?
Was I good enough to sit with the donors that had at one time changed my life for the better?
I didn’t know anyone at all. My mind raced with so many thoughts. Thanks to my daughter, I was able to go.
I had no idea, that walking through those doors, held a life changing surprise for my future.
I walked to the front and asked where my seat was. They couldn’t find my reservation and once again, I started to feel as if I was not where I belonged. They came back to the table and pointed to table 18. He handed me my information and I walked off to the table that would soon be the beginning of my dream come true. I’m not sure they want their names out there, but they are my heros. Angels in human form.
I will never forget the kindness shown to me that evening, as we sat through the horror stories and memories of a beautiful woman’s murder. She was a sister, a daughter, a mother. A wife. Taken away from this world far too early by the hands of a violent man.
The speaker was Denise Brown. Most of you may, or may not, remember her beautiful sister as Nicole Simpson- Brown. She was brutally murdered many years ago. This story, was very tragic.
I tried so hard to stay strong, to not let myself disassociate through the triggering words as they pierced my heart, and took my breath away.
They sat beside me, and just gently touched my shoulder asking if I was doing okay. I had to take a few breaks, I got up from the table and went into the bathroom to clean my face up just a bit. To breathe, and ground myself.
When the speaker was over, we all discussed a bit of my story.
At the end of the evening, I walked out with two numbers on my flyer and a possibility of a college scholarship. At first, I didn’t know if I would be hearing anything back, but the next day, I received a call from them. They decided to move forward with my scholarship!
I have never been so happy in my entire life, yet so scared at the same time. You see, second chances like this, an opportunity such as this, they don’t just happen every day.
In 2025, I have been given the gift of a college scholarship. I’m going back to school.
I’m going to start slow, and ease my way into things as I am very nervous. The paperwork was finalized this week. I’m picking out my classes on the 13th of January.
I’m not sure that I will ever be able to thank this beautiful couple for the gift that they have given to me, but I do know, that I am going to give it my everything, and keep pushing through. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING can stop me now. I am going back to school, and in the process, returning to the me that I have always known. I am smart, I am motivated, and I am going to crush this! Here’s to never giving up! Here’s to finding my way back to the me that I have always been capable of, but had been hidden. Next stop, Associates Degree. In 2025, I am celebrating second chances, and I am celebrating ME! COLLEGE HERE I COME!

My children have met someone
That might become their
Partner, a life partner,
Whose aim is to keep both, never alone,

To start a family of their own.
Dealing with advice, first disagreement,
First time meeting anxiety lent
Some insight into meetings flown

Off their trajectory into a NO
While others have progressed
For months, weeks, days, dressed
In meeting spaces trying to leave NO

Leaf, question unanswered before
Coming face to face, as they brace
For acceptance, liking, passion, in a pace
That drives me insane for the core

Is to build a family within ours.
How do I proceed, as the mother?
How do I let go without a bother?
How do I progress when theirs

Is a meeting of minds and hearts?
How do I accept not spoiling
Them whenever I want, coiling
My fear into a bow that never rests

For you never know if their
Choice will truly be happy or queer.

©️ Malak kalmoni chehab ©️