I am growing in places I didn’t even know was possible. Where I am from, people often get stuck. Mentally, financially or in whatever way possible. Stuck in time so much that people that know them from five years ago and people that know them from today know the same version of them. These people often repeat the same rhetoric: I am who I am. My biggest fear is being stuck. I have an amazing corporate job working for a technology company, but I want more. I have three degrees, but I want more. I crave progression in my life to a point that these thoughts invade my dreams. I don’t aspire to work up the ladder at the same job for twenty years or to stay at a job for the benefits and 401k. I don’t care about which insurance is offered or what discounts I can get through the company. I want more. I need more. I am meant for more. I love that in this chapter of my life I am not confined by my environment. I love that I am slowly breaking out of my shell. I will not lie and say I am not terrified to take that step. But what I know for certain is that I am not alone. The person that I was five years ago was too scared to walk, with goals that didn’t align with my soul. Now I am walking with God towards my purpose, open and ready to be molded into the person that I am meant to be – the person that lives in my dreams. I have grown from where I was and I refuse to walk backwards. I am who I am, but I am constantly getting better.

Dear Unsealed
Today I look forward to my life.
This decade I am 74 years old.
Not sure but had lots of strife.
So, I have been told.
I can say today,
As I relay or dream night and day
Of younger days and love and heartache
Of give and take,
This decade of clicking the box,
That says 70 +,
Such a fuss.
I am an elder with wisdom,
About life and love,
But somehow remain strong,
With reason and rhyme
Of space and time.
This is a time when I should have respect
From kid, grandkids, but
It does not always happen as I have kept.
Moving forward with time
Books and computers all that
I read, listen to music, write and all that.
This period in my life
I look back at relationships,
Loves, marching for equality for all,
And the concept of my fight for humanity
Love, peace, and light,
Are still not understood by certain people in my life.
I thought by this time
With reason and rhyme
They would understand my strife,
To create peace and love
Blessed from up above.
However, this is not so with certain people
But now I am old
I continue to be strong and bold.
I toss specks of salt
Over my right shoulder and left shoulder
To send peace to all
As I recall
Without humanitarians as I am
To tell folks it’s okay
Today
Tomorrow
Any day
I am to adventure to say
I do it my way
You do it your way.
I live one day at a time,
One moment at a time
Of reason and rhyme.
At 74 years old
I am still for peace and love,
Despite the folks who shut me down
All around town
I am woman.
Here me roar!
I have been down there on the floor,
Still an embryo
But I will be strong, progressive,
To move forward in time
With reason and rhyme
I am considered to be an old lady.
I can dye my hair pink.
Or gold or red.
Or whatever I choose,
Its okay today

Pending transactions, exemplified male tractions. I hold these truths to be self-evident, that I am the truth, the light, and the way. Mockery of self-gratification interrupts sensory.
Sensory of convenience and stride, that pimped out momentum of pride. I have no doubt, that I can love me, forever, rings in the echoed frustrations of potential.
Potent aids of expectations and security breaches. Unfiltered predictions and passed down sorrows and frictions. Demands of freedom on guard. Stagnant states of undreamt forward movement, projections of enduring.
Endurance of setbacks and pain forgotten, for within victory I’m plotting. Plotting up a role beyond my own initiative. Do not expect less cause in this chapter, I announce recess. Air Bourne opinions, shape shifting emotional bonds and irrelevant feelings.
Irrelevant feelings of acceptance and assurance for God is my rock. On a need-to-know basis redirects traffic, for I am the moderator, the innovator, and the headliner. I am the chapter.

Telisha L Dennis
Saturday-4/20/2024

Love, Im loving me
Done been through the rain and storms
the whirling roller coasters with loopty loops
making it out time and time again
im loving me

i’ve lost so much, including people I love
pushing through to make it for my kids
to make it for my husband
to make it for myself
Im loving me

Im loving me so much
that I am enjoying every aspect of my life
and I look forward to overcoming these..
trials and tribulations set to make me stronger
because without them, i’d be weak
im so loving me

every time life happens
my heart shatters just a bit more
and every single time the pieces hit the floor
I pick up the shards and put them back together
because yes
I am so loving me

You see without the love I have for me
I can’t love anything or anyone else
We don’t know love
unless we love ourselves
so without the love I have for me
I’d not know or have any for anyone
so im lovin me

in this crazy world we live in
the things people go through
love is the only thing I can give them
and I need to love me too

Everyone’s so keen on giving their opinion
When did it come to be I wasn’t living out of my own volition
To ground when needed
To explore when convenient
I measure up to no one & not where I’m supposed to be
I’m living life at a pace comfortable for me

But sometimes we need a push or more so persuasion
Perhaps it’s my stubbornness
But if I wanted to be farther ahead
My soul would’ve acknowledged submission
Needing to hit the mark right from the start
Perhaps it’s my perfectionism
Regardless of the decision to stay or any attempts for challenges I face
I try as I might & try is enough
For when I succeed I know it’s because the weakest parts did not give up

All else left to a biased perception
But there’s no one better when it comes to my self reflection
Matter of fact add criticism & progression
The only thing I’m in competition with is my inner demons

Not a requirement for one to stay
But my story, my voice will be heard
Not being rushed for the time I take
Nothing left to interpretation
Nothing left to be dismayed

In another timeline it’s already set in stone
Now in this current dimension my person has to find which way to go

It’s through these setbacks & challenges
I’m reminded why I’ve been given this life
To live, to breath, to try as I might
No matter when or how long it takes
It’s only allowed for me to decide

While this is the 29th chapter that has been written
It’s the first of its kind.

The others
They’re full of marks and underlines

Edits from others
Rewrites from me, however everyone else wanted the character to be

I began writing my story
In 2022

I wrote and I wrote
motifs with new views

Guardedly crafting every line
I picked some new characters
Tried out some new styles

Had a litany of editors
To re-read every other line

This is chapter 29
The first of its kind

I’ve retired my editors
Publish without a reread
I’m not afraid of spelling errors
Their a part of me

If you don’t like my book
You don’t have to read
I write what I need

This chapter is meaningful
It;s authentically me.

My love letter about me to you!
What I like about this chapter of my life is being honored to have my degrees and allowing my degrees to work with me as a full-time teacher! I want to say that I am in a wonderful time of my life! I am a wife, mother, mother in law and grandparent. I have raised three successful sons. I have been married for thirty-five years and am a proud mother-in-law and Granna of two beautiful girls!
It has been a lot of work taking care of me and the life I am in. I was a hard worker all my life. I have worked since I was a teenager. I was a babysitter, worked for low-income youth programs, worked at a fashion store, retail factory and so on. I attended a college out of my home state but transferred back to my hometown. I kept attending college but took time out to get married and raise my sons as a stay-at-home mother. In the back of my mind, I always wanted to finish college. Well, I did go back part time juggling my last son between my family as his babysitter to help me out. I did substitute along the way once my older two sons became full time in elementary school.
I ended up receiving not one but three degrees! I received my associate degree, then a bachelor’s degree which led to a master’s degree in early childhood. I say that to say this, my life went well and as intended, but with some detours, however, I completed a lifelong dream of receiving my college degree. I am proud of myself that with the help of my husband and family I completed my dream.
Did I say it was easy? No, it was a lot of hard demands, time, disappointment, uncertainty at times, and exhausting with three sons. However, was it obtainable? Yes, as I finished the course my confidence increased because the light was at the end of the tunnel. Do not give up too fast or not at all if you can, just change course and find another dream to go after!
To you, try to put your dreams out there so people can hear them, and to write them down so you have something to go by. Life will get busy and complicated as you age, but your dreams are still waiting for your return. Find someone or others who can encourage you to stick with your dream(s). Never give up the fight even if it is slow progress. My dream of getting my degree was a long one, and it took a lot of support, but I had to do the demanding work! You too will need to do challenging work as well! Do not get too discouraged but reach out to a loved one who has your back and work hard to make your dream come true! I believe in you, just as someone believed me! In fact, I had to believe in myself first before anyone believed in me! Go get your dream!! And you too will have the best time of your life!

Dear Charmaine,

What you love about this chapter in your life is it is believed to be…Pruning time! Pruning is something you found out that continuously needs to happen. You get cut down, cut back, trimmed on. It can come out of nowhere or you can see it coming. You realize that when you are serving God, get ready or don’t be shocked when it happens. He will cut you with things that are going to test your faith. To see if you are spouting words or believe what He says. No matter if it is your health, people, rejection, finances or whatever. He wants you to grow back stronger and more beautiful. He wants you to say “I have a TESTimony” My God brought me through!!! People trying to take your home you worked so hard for. Your insecurities that you allowed people to give you, questioning your ministry and self. Your children’s health, your marriage. Your rare, mysterious health issues. God is bringing you through them all. He will continually bring you through them all! You are here to witness God’s Goodness, Grace and Mercy. How can you do this unless you walk through some swaps, dirt, mud, been through some terrible storms. To say you are still here, you are still standing. God has brought you through. Even though you don’t want the tornado to come your way, you don’t want things eating at you or being cut down to start again. God is able!!! He is letting you be prune, so you can stand beautifully ready to be open again, to Bloom in another Season. Trust God, It is not what you want! But God knows it is what you need! So remember it is Pruning Time Again!??!
As I would say you are actually the perfect candidate for God to use. You have no special degree in any minister, no special teacher degree or a scholar. Not the popular girl and most experienced in life. That is where God gets His Glory from the normal, mundane, not so look at, not so talk about young lady. It is funny that you are someone who seems to be doing some stuff now. Things out of your character, realm of knowledge and expertise.You don’t have a degree in that. How are you going to tell others the truth about things? Well, God is the only answer to how. If you are a believer, it is the only answer that makes sense! That God uses the simple things of the world to confuse the wise. He also is using you again in sharing His Glory by using a health problem. He allows you to have this unique, rare mysterious condition. That teams of doctors are scratching their heads over. Questions of why it came, where it came from and now how do they treat you? There are no seemingly bad habits, no drug, alcohol, or smoking in my life. You are pretty much healthy and young. No high blood pressure, diabetics, no history of cancers in the family. “So what do I have and how are the doctors going to treat it?” So here comes God showing his miracle magic miraculous all knowing power! Showing them treatment to try, but ultimately He has to heal and save!!! That job forever belongs to Him. So, He wants you to testify of his goodness and grace! How often do you and others say no you can’t do this minister thing! God says Yes You Can!!!
When the doctors, professionals and you are all confused about what is going on in your body and why. God is here to say, “I AM NOT! I know all, I see all, I knitted you in your mothers womb. I made every cell, tissue and bone. Just look at me and I will show you how and why I am the chief physician who never lost a case!!!” You have to say Hallelujah Amen to that. So, this rare, unique, mysterious flower in God’s garden is destined to bloom. No matter how many storms come to destroy and cut you down. God controls storms, they cease at His command!!! So even when you are pruned again, because you will. You know who holds the future, your tomorrow and beautifully allows you to Bloom!!!
Love you and keep pursuing your purpose. You love this chapter of your life because God has pulled you through, made you see things you never thought you could face before and show you your strength in the midst of the storms.

Blessings,
Charmaine