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  • Is The Load I Carry

    “You can’t skip chapters that’s not how life works. You have to read every line meet every character. You will not enjoy all of it. Hell, some chapters will make you cry for weeks. You will read things you don’t want to read, you will have moments where you don’t want the pages to end. But you have to keep going. Stories keep the world revolving. Live yours, don’t miss out.”(Pillow Thoughts II). Life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some are happy and some are exciting, but if you never turn the page, you will never know what the next chapter has in store for you. Treat me like your favorite book. And stroke my spine delicately. Remember my tiny details. And all your favorite parts. Read me again and again and fall in love with my story. I will not lose my worth in a spirit of a curse. I’m not afraid to break free from this pathetic message in the bottom of a weary verse. I’m tired of trying, it’s time to reverse.

    I’m weary of life but I won’t miss a single line
    Through the ups and downs, tired but never giving up. Fighting through the darkness, I won’t let life interrupt. Dreams fuel my fire, life’s interruptions won’t make me tire. I’ll soar above the chaos, won’t let life’s script be ruptured. Peace is a part of my soul and it’s a matter of conduct. Allow yourself to be so focused on living in peace, getting paid, and walking in purpose that you have no time to worry about people pleasing, pettiness, or irrelevant opinions. This is the part of my life where I silently remove myself from anyone who hurts me more than they love me, drains me more than they replenish me brings me more stress than they do peace and tries to stunt my growth rather than clap for it.” “I think that I have done more than enough talking and trying to make things work with certain people.” “I’m done.” -KL’s Page. It’s not about ego. Once I feel ignored or unwanted I distance myself silently. I’ll remove myself before I allow anger to consume me ever again. I like to love. I like to laugh. I like to be happy. So if I gotta distance myself to keep things that way, I will. Distance is what I usually appreciated and what I believe in. It makes the heart grow fonder. If cutting me off helps you in any way, I support it. It’s okay to walk away because they kept failing to listen. It’s okay to walk away when the excuses are far greater than the effort. It’s okay to walk away when the behavior has stayed the same, and the idea of change is just manipulation. It’s okay to walk away when they stop trying on purpose, while purposely denying. It’s okay to walk away when you’ve done everything you can to make things work and the result leaves you back where you started. I’ll soar like a comet, leaving old wounds departed. I won’t be broken, it’s time for me to be whole-hearted.

    Because I am not ashamed of what I am
    See that I avoid a chance and it gets hard to see my face when I see that I’ll shine brighter, being unleashed and uncharted. “After a while, I got tired of chasing after you.”“You made things so hard that I could never catch up.” “I was trying to force something that wasn’t there.” “It felt like I was begging for you to reciprocate the love I was giving when in reality, you never felt the same way I did.” “That’s when it clicked- could no longer beg you to love me or give me the attention I desired.” “So I took myself out of the equation, closed that chapter of my life, and started a new one.” “It was time for me to find the true love of my life that I had lost in the process of loving you.” -KL’s Page. The worst pain is having no contact with the person you’re still in love with, who at one point of time, sent you texts that would make your heart melt. And now, you can only love them in silence from a distance. Slowly being forced to close a chapter you never wanted to end. When someone hurts you, and then avoids you, that’s a clear sign that they know they messed up. not only do they know, but they’re uncomfortable with the fact that they did. They can’t even face themselves and their own behavior. don’t wait around for an apology from them. I’ll emerge anew, I won’t let their words condemn. So I will not worry. I will re-write my story and make them see what you had done to me. If you hate me, it would be like a dream. And I will never be lonely again. Sometimes I wonder why I’m starting over now and why am I cutting the knife.

    I’m weary of the lies, it’s time to cut ties. No more compromise. So I want to be alone and I need a new excuse to keep myself right. Because I know you will be back and I may miss you but I can’t try to rekindle broken flames that burned me every chance they received, so once I release the ashes of our past off into the wind, there’s no way we will recapture what we once had. Into the world to create what I cannot change. I am tired of playing this game. I will rise and re-arrange because every time I hear your name I get empty stomach pains because of your broken promises.

    “As one chapter of your life comes to a close, always be mindful of your surroundings.” “Remember, there’s always another journey waiting for you just around the corner, and it’s bound to exceed your wildest imagination and expectations.” -Maxwell Xavier-. What happened, has happened. Free your mind from it, you’re about to start a new chapter in your life. Accept this change and move on. I’ve turned the page, embracing life’s new chapter and stage. There has to be an ending for new beginnings, they are both also hard. Be grateful they both exist. I am. “I know you thought the breaking was the most painful chapter.” “It wasn’t.” “Turn the page.” “The next part is much longer. It’s the bealing. The rise.” “The comeback.” “It’s the birth of the new you.” “And it’s not easy.” “But you are strong and brave and worth it.”-Stephanie Bennett-Henry. I know this transformation is painful, but you’re not falling apart; you’re just falling into something different, with a new capacity to be beautiful. This chapter in my life is called: Knowing my worth & acting accordingly. No more settling for less, I know what I deserve. Through the weariness, I’ll rise and find what I deserve. After the long nights, I will find my rebirth because I was the only one who wanted to make things work. The truth is not absurd if it’s the last thing you feel going to hurt. Leaving behind the pain, on a brand new turf. I’ll dust off my dreams and make them shimmer with mirth. I’m focusing on me right now, I’ve done enough for everybody else. I’ll find my peace amidst the chaos and never lose myself. I’ll find a new path, discover the best version of myself in exchange for trouble and distractions. I will not be lost in the noise because I know you are a monster.

    The heart says I will find the right one and i’ll push away the truth someday when the sunshine comes, shedding my weary burdens.
    I’m just a kid trying to count my own funds.
    I feel alive when I think about taking that gamble cause the real thing will come.
    I will get myself back on the road two fronts.
    I will forget the way i’ve always felt but my frustrations are too much to be mugged
    You are so bad I haven’t felt this real however, I will not let you become another page I’m stumped on. It’s time to start a new chapter
    And anticipate my life in words. I don’t have faith in god so I keep carrying on and on and on. I will find the strength to keep believing, I would not be fleeting. In the end, he who has lost me will wonder who he’ll laugh with because I will become just another blur. It’s like a cake with no place or no meaning. I can’t wait until the day you doubt everything and regret that you left me.

    Tracie Sperling

    Voting starts July 1, 2024 12:00am

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