Growing up, I had to tell myself during my teenage years and as an adult, that I was enough!
I remember back then when my self-esteem was determined by what others thought about me, the choices I made and if I was good enough for them instead of for myself. I remember wanting to be like my mother and my brothers. They all attended a school of higher learning. I recall going to my mothers’ graduation as a young teenage girl. She was a divorced mother of five children. She beat the odds and became a woman with a two-year associate degree in social work. Both of my siblings seemed to do everything right. Unlike them, I seemed to struggle with learning. I always had to double study for everything. My family seemed so perfect that I put myself down. Then, after high school, I ventured out to become a college student myself. It was not easy. I had no money. I got loans and Pell grants. I had to work and study. I often had to study all night, in libraries, my dorm room to pass a test. I finally got to be like my family, I thought! Extremely optimistic and then I became very unsure. I wondered was it just as hard for my family too? At college, I found myself very alone and missing my mother and the crisp scent of blankets of home. Instead, I was in a dorm with crickets and the smell of mold. Don’t get it wrong, I liked college life, it just became too much for me all alone. I eventually moved back to my home. Now, my education was in jeopardy. My expectations for myself seemed doomed. But the story did not stop there. I remembered I had a dream.
I met a man along the way, and we decided to marry. With two children and a third on the way, I remembered I did not finish what I had started. This time I had to juggle my family. I eventually would go back to college. I completed the course work for an associate degree just like my mother! After which I started to substitute in schools. I went on to complete my bachelor’s degree in business education. As my children grew older, I needed a flexible job. I read about a program that could help me become a teacher and receive a master’s degree. I said to myself, as I had lacked confidence along the way all along, because learning was hard for me especially with juggling kids now. Well, this program worked! I graduated with a master’s degree and became a teacher. I often doubted the process. I doubted my dream, but I say this to let you know, life will not always be easy. You may have goals in your life or future that you may wish to dream of. Well, today that dream can become a reality. With hard work and dedication, asking for guidance, and receiving help along the way, you too can benefit in the end.
You got this! Keep your head held up high, stay strong, try to ignore the negative thoughts, and persevere! Self-talk positively to yourself, positive affirmations to yourself! You can do it! Make good choices, try hard and do not quit, dream big and apply yourself. With the pressures of today for example: peer pressure, body image, family, friends, belonging, exposure to drugs, relationships, social media school concerns, and money struggles just keep trying. These are all real concerns that are staring you in the face, do not ignore it, seek help, and remember your dream! You are allowed to dream but think about making it happen! Had I not remembered my dream and I looked back to see what others in my family succeeded in doing and not myself, I would not be a teacher today. Self-doubt is real, peer pressure is real. I too had to fight. I cried to sleep. I had negative thoughts, telling myself during the process, “You cannot do this, you are a low-income family, you have children, just quit and go on.” But then, my inner strength kicked in and it told myself “Hey! You can do this!” Tell your beautiful self the same thing. I can work hard and never stop! I am not going to give up until my dream becomes a reality. Life is hard, but somebody must do it! Why not you! You too can make it! Decide what it is you want, go for it, take a chance, and do not stop!
You got this! You are enough!
By, Angela Pinkins