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  • Lauren Brill shared a letter in the Group logo of Magical MomentsMagical Moments group 2 years, 4 months ago

    My love letter to sports

    Dear Sports,

    Sometimes love comes into our lives early and easily. That’s the case with you. I remember meeting you around age four or five, but it could have been even younger. I lived on a cul-de-sac, and all the kids on our street would regularly play kickball in the circle. We’d play for hours, sometimes mixing in tag or hide and seek. Without much effort, I could always keep up with the older kids. And every time I tried a new sport, it took me no time to figure it out. But it wasn’t until my parents signed me up for organized soccer with kids my age that I realized I was athletic. I was faster than everyone else. And scoring goals was easy. Immediately, I was hooked. I loved competition. And quite frankly, I loved winning.

    While I played many sports throughout my childhood, soccer became my primary sport. I played on club, school, and select teams. Soccer allowed me to see the world, as I was chosen to play on a team that competed as far as Italy when I was 15 years old. Besides competition, sports introduced me to my best friends – many of whom I am still close with now.

    I am forever grateful that you, sports, came into my life.

    As an adult, I no longer play on competitive sports teams. And I probably don’t work out as much as I should. But you are still an essential part of my life. You shaped me into the person I am today. You, sports, taught me how to push through adversity. You showed me the power of a good and consistent work ethic. Through you, I developed tremendous confidence and mental toughness, which serves me well every single day of my life. And when I have a long week or am frustrated or scared, I can still turn to you for peace. I’ll rollerblade along the water for miles or lift at the gym.

    While many loves in our life come and go, there are some rare ones that not only come early and easily but also last a lifetime.

    I love you always.

    Your old friend,

    Lauren

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    • Wow, that’s wonderful. A friend to the end is the most wonderful thing ever and is very rare. Yes, we meet people when we’re much younger and may know them for a year or more, but a lot of time, it doesn’t last a life time. So, when you find that, it’s rare, but the greatest thing ever. It’s that one person you know will always be there for you…read more

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  • To those who are hard on themselves

    To someone who is too hard on themselves,

    You must be so anxious and stressed. You never seem to be where you want to be in life. I know how you feel because I have felt this way, too. My older sibling was always smarter than me. As a child, he did better in school than me, and as an adult, he certainly makes more money than me. It is as though I have had this bar way above my head my whole life. And no matter how hard I work or how many times I try, I never seem to jump high enough to graze that bar with my fingertips. And yet, I never stop trying.

    Throughout my adult life, I have worked weekends and nights. I have lost sleep as thoughts of work ruminate in my head, and I have pulled all-nighters just because I have felt like I needed to get more done. All too often, I find myself exhausted, stressed, and frustrated. And I have come to realize that those emotions are not helpful. I started my company, The Unsealed, 3.5 years ago, and until this past weekend, I hadn’t taken one vacation.

    An opportunity to go to Disney World arose. And seriously, who can say no to Disney World? I attended shows, tried out new rides, and ate at new restaurants for three days. It was so much fun. I gave my mind a break – a moment to live in the present and enjoy the people in my life and the blessings surrounding me. I drove home on Sunday. Now, it’s Monday, and I feel refreshed and motivated. The weekend made me realize how important it is to come up for air sometimes.

    For so long, I put pressure on myself and never took my foot off the gas. But that’s not healthy or productive. So, if you’re like me and push yourself very hard, I hope you learn to be kind to yourself, take breaks, and live in the moment. When you take days off, don’t think about work or whatever you are pushing yourself to do. Give your mind and your soul time to refresh, recharge and recalibrate.

    Your ambition probably won’t ever go away. But what I have come to realize is that if you want to do your best in life, it’s vital that you feel your best.

    Don’t measure your success with someone else’s bar. Prioritize your health and your happiness. And always appreciate where you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going.

    Lauren

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    • I love it, always appreciate where you are, where you’ve been and where you’re going, as well as who you are. “You are somebody”, and if everyone can feel this way about themselves, there will be much more love throughout our world. Everyone’s competing with each other. Trying to be better, to have better or more than the next. People need more…read more

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  • Jamie Ellifritz shared a letter in the Group logo of To the people we loveTo the people we love group 2 years, 4 months ago

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    Sokolowski family letter

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  • To my friend, Kris

    Dear Kris,

    Last year, I stumbled upon a CNN article entitled, “I have got terminal cancer. Here is why I am prioritizing travel.” The article shared how you were diagnosed at 48 years old with late stage four colon cancer. Despite the diagnosis, you remained committed to the activities that bring you joy in life, which include spending time with your family and traveling around the globe. I immediately knew I wanted to share your story with our community. I knew you would represent what The Unsealed is about: resilience, kindness, and strength. However, there was one result of meeting you I didn’t see coming..

    While The Unsealed is not nearly as well-known or as prominent as CNN, you immediately responded to me and happily agreed to share your story with me. You sat on zoom with me for more than an hour and shared with me the shock of discovering you had terminal cancer. You had this proud grin on your face as you told me how you captured your wife’s heart. And you told me about the abundance of joy you experience daily by being the father to your sweet, intelligent, curious young son, Braden. But more than just your story, how you approach life’s challenges clearly came across in our interview. And that is with boundless positivity and a pure heart. When you receive a cocktail of intense chemo, you do so with a cheerful disposition and kind words to share with the nurses and doctors who treat you. You don’t approach work or everyday life with a “Why me?” attitude, but instead, you see each day as a gift to enjoy with the people you love most. You are aware of the reality of your situation, but you do not let it take away from the people and places that make you smile, as you continue to travel the world and take walks on the beach with your wife and son.

    After interviewing you, we posted your story on The Unsealed in a letter to your wife and son. Then, you spoke to our community on one of our weekly zoom calls. Your zest for life and your pursuit of positivity are contagious. In the following months, I noticed I became more disciplined about staying optimistic about the challenges in my life. While starting a business is not nearly as difficult as battling cancer, it’s the obstacle I currently face. And because of you, instead of dwelling on what is going wrong, I started to look at what is going right and figure out how to lean into those tactics more. When a strategy I implement doesn’t go as planned, instead of feeling frustrated, I look for the lesson and adapt accordingly. When I interact with people, no matter how my day is unfolding, I always try to lead with kindness. The mindset you have helped shape within me has impacted my productivity, patience, and happiness. And as my company has grown, the process has become less stressful and more joyful.

    Kris, when I first came across your story, I knew you would inspire so many people, but what I didn’t know was how much you would influence me.

    Thank you.

    Keep fighting! Keep smiling! Keep being you!

    With love,

    Lauren

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    • Lauren, your heartfelt message to Kris is truly inspiring. Your meeting with Kris and his positivity in the face of terminal cancer has had a lasting impact on you. His resilience, kindness, and strength have motivated you to approach life’s challenges with boundless positivity and a pure heart. You have adopted a mindset of focusing on what is…read more

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  • Mahogany Roberts shared a letter in the Group logo of To the people we loveTo the people we love group 2 years, 4 months ago

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    Embrace

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  • Jamie Ellifritz shared a letter in the Group logo of Current EventsCurrent Events group 2 years, 4 months ago

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    Post meeting - 1/25/2023

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  • Jamie Ellifritz shared a letter in the Group logo of Current EventsCurrent Events group 2 years, 5 months ago

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    Post Meeting - Joel Cox

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  • To my friend, Vernon

    Dear Vernon,

    The odds of us crossing paths were slim, but the domino effect of connecting with you was life-changing.

    When I tell people I know you, their first question is often, “How?” You played in the NFL while I was still in elementary school. You live in Texas. I have only visited the Lone Star state a few times. Our friendship came out of nowhere. It was 2017, and I was in bed randomly looking at LinkedIn when I saw a post about someone writing a letter to their younger self. I am unsure what made me read the story, but I clicked. The letter was so well-written and powerful. It was about your life story. You were the product of gang rape, and you shared your complicated relationship with your later mother. You mentioned something in that letter that you didn’t understand your mother’s reaction to her attack, but I could relate to her because I am also a survivor. So, I reached out to you to explain how my mind took time to process what had happened to me. I hoped that sharing my story would give you some clarity and peace.

    You responded to me almost immediately, and I think we chatted on the phone the same night. Then, the Super Bowl was in Houston that year, and I was headed down. We met in person, and you told me you were friends with Sheryl Sandberg, the then-COO of Facebook. She had recently written a book about people who persevere and mentioned you in the book. You introduced me to Sheryl, who asked me to share my story on her website publicly. I couldn’t say no to Sheryl, which led me to write an open letter to sexual assault survivors independently. My letter changed my life. Besides freeing me from years of shame and angst, it inspired me to move to Florida and start my company, The Unsealed. The Unsealed is a platform where people can write and share open letters about overcoming adversity.

    Through the years, we’ve remained friends, and you have shared your story on The Unsealed’s website and several of our weekly conversations with our community. You encourage me. You inspire me, and you believe in me.

    While I know we’ll always be friends, I still think it’s crazy we even met in the first place. I rarely read articles I see on LinkedIn, if ever. And it is even less often that I reach out to its author. I genuinely believe whether it was fate, or maybe your mom up there pulling strings, or one of my late loved ones, that night that I was lying in bed skimming LinkedIn, there was a larger power play – using your story and our newfound friendship – to lead me to my purpose.

    Forever grateful that the stars aligned,

    Lauren

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    • Lauren,the connection you shared with Vernon is truly life-changing. I’m happy for the power of fate and friendship you guys shared. It reminds me of the friendship we have together. Your strength inspires me every day. Thank you for believing in me and for being a part of my journey as well. I’m glad that you’re surrounded by people who motivate…read more

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  • Jamie Ellifritz shared a letter in the Group logo of Current EventsCurrent Events group 2 years, 5 months ago

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    Post meeting - Jon Vaughn

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  • To my best and furriest friend, Wylie

    Dear Wylie,

    In 2012, I moved to Buffalo after receiving an offer to work as a sportscaster at a local station there. While I was excited about the opportunity, I was a little nervous about moving to a new city that I had never been to before my interview and where didn’t know a single soul. While I made friends quickly, within a couple of months of living there, I felt like there was a missing piece to my life in Buffalo. And that missing piece was you.

    I had this strong urge to get a puppy. Besides college and a year or two before moving to Buffalo, I have always lived with at least one dog. While I searched far and wide for the perfect puppy, I ended up getting you from the same place my parents purchased your older sister, Cayley.

    As soon as we met, we were inseparable. When you were a puppy, you never wanted to leave my side – so much so that you would cry when I was in the bath, and you would often try and hop in the shower with me. You never wanted to sleep alone, and somehow you managed to win the hearts of all my neighbors, so you were rarely ever home alone.

    We’ve been together for ten years, and you have been by my side through many ups and downs. You’ve growled at the boys who broke my heart, and you cuddled with me every day during 2020 – a year mostly spent with just you and me because of a global pandemic. While you like to pee everywhere, marking your territory, and you try to make babies with my parents’ Maltese, Mia, I still love you so much.

    You have brought so much love, warmth, and companionship to my life. You have been a part of my journey in ways I am sure I don’t even recognize. And while we have moved to three different cities and dealt with so many unexpected challenges, one constant throughout our last ten years is the love we show and have for each other.

    Thanks for always having my back and giving me kisses on command.

    I love you, WyWy

    With lots of hugs and kisses,

    Mommy

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    • This is precious, too cute and I’m so glad you have stuck together. Yes, he was stuck on you from the beginning. always wanting to be at your side and as you stated, have been since. I too love dogs and I love how they’re so loyal to you, so much better than our counterparts. I had a few dogs as I was growing up, but I don’t have one right now,…read more

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  • Jamie Ellifritz shared a letter in the Group logo of Current EventsCurrent Events group 2 years, 5 months ago

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    Post meeting - 1/5/2023

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  • Jamie Ellifritz shared a letter in the Group logo of Current EventsCurrent Events group 2 years, 5 months ago

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    Post meeting thoughts - 12/28/22

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  • Jamie Ellifritz shared a letter in the Group logo of Current EventsCurrent Events group 2 years, 5 months ago

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    To The Unsealed family

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  • To my family, this is why I love the holiday season

    To My Family,

    When I was a child, kids in school tried to make me feel Christmas envy. We didn’t celebrate Christmas because we are Jewish. But I never felt like I missed out on anything. We got plenty of presents on Hannukah. Also, the holiday season usually meant a fun vacation: Skiing in Vermont, the beach in Aruba, a cruise around the Caribbean, or parties in Miami. Despite not celebrating Christmas, Christmas week was usually one of the most fun weeks of the entire year.

    This year, Mom and Dad, you will be with me in Florida, and my brother will be in New York with his wife. We will have Chinese food on Christmas Day and start our shopping adventures on December 26th. That’s when the really good sales kick in. We will eat too much, and I will complain that I cannot get nearly enough work done. We will send many pictures in our group chat of the items we got exceptional deals on and of our little adventures.

    Our holiday season may not have a Christmas tree, reindeer, or stocking stuffer, but like many people, the end of the year is a time for food, family, and fun. And that’s no different for us. Mom, Dad and the rest of our crazy family, I have always loved the holiday season, and that’s because of how much I love all of you.

    Cheers to another year of many moments of love, laughter, and a little bickering.

    With love,

    Lauren

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    • Dear Lauren,
      My memories of our Christmas vacations warm my heart. This time of year is so special because it gives families a chance to connect and spend time together having fun. I look forward to this year’s vacation. Nothing is more important and special then spending time with family. Hopefully next year we can add more of our l…read more

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    • My, My, I know too well how you feel and I’m sorry for you. I was raised in a large family, where we got together every single holiday at our mom’s house. People who lived alone on my mom’s street, thought she was so lucky to have many friends but none of her visitors were friends of hers, they were her own children with their children and it car…read more

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  • Dear 2022

    Dear 2022,

    When the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2022, I had high hopes for you – the upcoming year. I planned to build a new feature on The Unsealed – a pen pal system allowing users to post their content and write to each other. I was hopeful that this would be the “it” factor that would take my company to the next level. I thought I would sit back and enjoy the show once it launched.

    Personally, with COVID seemingly becoming less severe, I was excited about going out more and meeting new people. Maybe date someone new – or meet some new friends in Miami.

    Per usual, the year didn’t go exactly as planned. Just like every other year, there were some challenges I didn’t foresee. My mother had a cancer scare, and I lost a friend at 40 years old to brain cancer.

    It was tough, but I continued to march forward as I always do.

    When I launched our Pen Pal network, I quickly realized that we were helping people and had something special. However, I also realized that we laid the foundation but still needed to build the house. There are elements we need to add. We still need to figure out a flow and a clearer user-generated experience.

    Outside of work, I have met new people – some were lessons, while others have been a whole lot of laughter.

    While 2022 didn’t lead to everything I wanted, I feel closer to all that I desire. I evolved personally and professionally. I have a better idea of who I want in my life and what I need to do to realize my dreams.

    While my hopes for next year are similar to those from last year, I am thankful for a journey filled with amazing people, passion, and purpose.

    It’s been real. Thanks for the memories, 2022.

    With gratitude,

    Lauren

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    • Great stuff Lauren. I know that you deserve only the best. And if I know you well enough , you will get only the best. It’s what you do 🙂
      Look out 2023!

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    • I truly enjoy this platform. I’ve read stories that have made me laugh and some that have brought me to the. You are truly changing lives through your work. Thank you for all that you do.

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    • Yes, thanks for the memories. I love it. We should all look back at all that we’ve accomplished the year before, if only to see what we did, how we can do it better, and what’s next. You did what you can to build this platform and it will continue as long as you allow it. Yes you will make many decisions, some will pan out and some may not, but…read more

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    • I admire you. You never gave up and continued with your plan no matter the hiccups. And you are so srong, even though you lost a friend (I’m sorry for your loss) you kept it moving like a boss. Thank you for sharing

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  • A King Of Comedy

    Dear Bernie Mac,

    When I was 18, I got to watch your show ”The Bernie Mac Show” with my oldest sister, even though I knew about the show for a while. When she put the DVD into her DVD player, and we started watching it together, I quickly started laughing hard at the things you were saying and how you said those words.

    But, the more I watched the show, the more I would learn that there was a kind heart behind your tough exterior. You would also remind me of a few family members, in terms of how you tried to discipline your sister’s kids on the show. You would start to feel like family to me, even though we never met in life.

    I’ve never felt that kind of connection to a celebrity before you.

    As I would get more into your work (movies and your stand-up), I would be inspired by how you spoke your mind, even though it could be some very shocking stuff. But, your fearlessness to say bold things in front of lots of people in your stand-ups, inspired me to speak my mind in my own way.

    Even though you passed away in 2008, your fearlessness, courage, and big heart continue to move me through your interviews, stand up & movie clips on YouTube.

    Thank you for helping me find my own strength and courage.
    Gerald

    Gerald Washington

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    • Thanks, Roger.

      Mr. 3000 is a good movie. You’re right about his character going through a journey to become a team player. I love Head Of State! That’s one of my favorite movies! Chris Rock and Bernie Mac were so good together. Bernie killed me throughout the whole movie. Yeah, it’s wild that Barrack Obama became president a few years after that…read more

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    • What? I’m so shocked from reading this letter! Because I didn’t know he passed away until reading this letter. I used to watch a lot of his shows when I was younger. I wasn’t really a person who looked up people in movies back then but I do now. This is soooo crazy…. Your letter is amazing I’m glad you had a star to look up to and encourage you.

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      • Thanks, Kayjah. Yeah, it was the first celebrity death that really shocked me. I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t watch him for years until I finally accepted that he was gone. That’s cool that you used to watch his shows when you were younger. It’s wild to believe that he has been gone for 14 years now.

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    • This is wonderful and very nice of you to place Bernie Mac as one of your inspirational people. That he was. He touched so many lives with his comedy, as well as mine. Just to laugh out loud when things are going on in your life that may not be good at the time, is something some just don’t get, but I did and do. No he never censored his…read more

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      • Thank you, Karen. He did touch a lot of lives with his comedy and big heart. It feels great to laugh to get away from the stresses of this world. He spoke a lot of truth in his comedy, I agree with you on that. He definitely didn’t censor his words. Lol. That’s one of the things I admired about him. He is missed.

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  • Gabrielle, this is how you helped lay the foundation for my future

    Dear Gabrielle Union,

    When I was a teenager, you starred in the most popular movies of my generation, such as She’s All That and Bring It On. Your career has stood the test of time, but for me (and the world), your relevance extends well beyond your movie credits.

    At a young age, you helped lay the foundation for a life I didn’t even yet know I was building.

    When I was 16 years old, I was drugged and sexually assaulted by two strangers. In the years following my assault, I didn’t want to tell anyone.

    I was embarrassed.

    I didn’t want to be viewed as a victim.

    I thought the way these boys treated me was a reflection of my weakness.

    So, for nine years, my assault was my secret.

    However, I remember watching an interview where you talked about your rape. I don’t know where the interview aired. I don’t remember who interviewed you or how old I was when I saw it. And the only comment I recall was about how race plays a role in how our society responds to rape. Even so, that interview changed the way I began to think about myself and my own story.

    What stuck with me most is not necessarily what you said but how you spoke.

    You weren’t weak. You did not sound like my vision of a “victim.”

    Instead, you made me feel as though I shouldn’t be embarrassed.

    It was you who made me realize that speaking up IS fighting back.

    Nine years after my assault, I finally told my mom what had happened to me. And 15 years after that horrible night, I published an open letter to sexual assault survivors telling them what hurt me didn’t hold me back.

    Two years after sharing my story publicly, I started a company called The Unsealed. It is a safe space for people to share their stories in the form of open letters – to use their past to empower themselves and give hope, inspiration, and knowledge to others.

    Through the years, I have continued to watch the way you move through the world:

    – Following you on social media.
    – Watching the roles you play in movies and TV.
    – Listening to your interviews whenever I come across them.

    Your fearlessness to advocate for what you believe is right while unapologetically being yourself has continued to serve as an example of the type of person I want to be in this world.

    Gabrielle, you set the foundation for my future because you were the first woman I heard speak of their assault from a place of confidence, and fierceness. You were the first person I vividly remember turning their truth into power.

    And because of you, I was able to transform my secret into what I now call my superpower and then create a safe space for so many others to do the same.

    Thank you for your courage. Your voice led me to discover my strength.

    Lauren Brill

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  • Why I broke off my engagement and what it taught me

    Dear Unsealed Community,

    When I was 19 years old, I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to chase my dream as a sportscaster. In pursuit of that dream,  I started working at the NBA. I commuted two hours from Columbia University to New Jersey, three days a week, because I was committed. I wanted to network with people who worked in sports. I wanted to hone my writing skills and learn more about the broadcasting industry. This job was supposed to be the first step to the rest of my life. But it nearly took me off course, and everyone, except me, thought I should be thrilled.

    While working at the NBA, I met someone. He was my co-worker. We had the same schedule – or so I thought. I found out later that he was coming to work when he wasn’t scheduled to spend more time with me. We got along so well. We could talk for hours and hours about anything and everything. Soon after meeting, we started dating, and our relationship escalated quickly. Within a year, he left the NBA and began working in finance. We moved in together in an apartment in New York City and got engaged. I was only 21 years old – still a senior in college. He treated me well. We had no drama – no lying, no cheating, no bullshit—just two young people who genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.

    He checked every box.

    My parents were happy. My friends thought I was so lucky. And in society’s eyes, my life was going very well.

    The only problem was that I was miserable. I was not ready to be someone’s wife. I didn’t want to sacrifice opportunities for my career for a relationship. My ring felt like a handcuff, chaining me to a life I didn’t yet want.

    I stayed in the relationship for four years because, logically, we made sense. According to society, this relationship is what I should want. But I was so unhappy which led me to question myself more times than I could count.

    “Why don’t I want this relationship?”

    “How come I am not on cloud nine?”

    “Isn’t this is what I should want?”

    “Is there something wrong with me?”

    Ultimately, it took every ounce of strength I had to end the relationship. It was one the most difficult decisions I have ever made, as I had to hurt someone I loved – someone who never would have hurt me.

    However, I knew, long term, it wasn’t fair to either one of us if I stayed in a relationship that I didn’t genuinely want. In the days, weeks and months following our breakup, I felt a sense of relief and freedom. I pursued my career, moved out of New York, and I have since chased every single dream or goal I’ve ever had.

    To this day, people still think I was crazy to end the relationship – especially since I am now 36 and single. But I have never had any regrets.

    Looking back, I learned that sometimes we doubt ourselves when our desires differ from the expectations the world sets for us. But deep down, each of us know what we want, and all we need is the courage to pursue it relentlessly.

    Be who you are – not who others expect you to be.

    Lauren

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    • Sometimes the hardest this is letting go of what no longer serves you. I’m glad that you left a situation that made you unhappy. You pursued your dream and look where you are now!! Thank you for sharing.

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    • This is amazing. It sucks to let go of those you love but if it doesn’t make you happy you shouldn’t sacrifice your happiness to appease others. Things change but life goes on. Thank you for sharing

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  • Mom, Here is why I am strong

    Dear Mom,

    You once told me that you don’t worry about me because you know no matter what, I will always be OK. You said to me that throughout my life, whatever challenges I faced, I somehow always managed to persevere. You told me you know me better than anyone else. After all, you’re not only my mother but also my best friend.

    You know everything about me.

    Mom, through all my life’s challenges, you have been by my side.

    When my fourth-grade crush pretended to throw up when he found out I liked him, you told me, “Don’t worry, you’re beautiful, and there will be plenty of boys that will like you.”

    When my first love broke my heart, “You told me to let it go – not to give him the power to make me sad or ruin my day.

    When I did poorly on a test in school, you would spend hours studying with me.

    When my boyfriend died, “You cried with me at the funeral.”

    When I started The Unsealed, “You told me to go for it.”

    And each day, when I share my fears and worries as an entrepreneur, you tell me to keep going. You tell me you believe in me. You give me ideas, and you help me to keep pushing.

    Mom, you have seen me bounce back from a broken heart, disappointment in my career, and loss. And while, yes, I have always been OK, I believe it is because I have always had you.

    I love you so much. Your support, love, and constant presence are the secret to my strength.

    Thank you,

    Lauren

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    • Lauren your mom is the reason you are the way you are today. She gave you such a huge precious mindset and I’m glad you have someone who you can call your best friend. She gave you so much wise words when it came to the tribulations that you had in your life. This is such a beautiful letter that shows her loving character.

      Write me back 

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    • Yes, you were always OK, no matter what you went through, because you always knew you had that one someone who would cater to you, give you love and support you no matter what, so no one else really mattered. The secret to your strength, love it. Your mother should always be your greatest supporter, your comforter, your go to, your crying partner…read more

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  • To my future children

    To my future children,

    Although I haven’t met you yet, I want you to know that I love you. With every fiber of my being, I feel a love coursing through my veins that only belongs to you. I dream of the day that you’re in my life, and I am brought to tears when I realize that moment won’t be happening any time soon.

    I am still living at home with my parents, and their word is law. My parents, your grandparents, are hard people. The things that they’ve been through have shaped them in ways that I could never understand, and it’s shaped the way they parented me. I know they love me, and I love them, but their love was never easy. I’ve tried over the years to fit into the mold of “perfect daughter” and I very rarely was able to. However, I’ve come to realize that I can’t live a life pursuing a dream that isn’t mine. I see why my parents raised me the way they did, I see where they lost their way. I know that the only way I can help them is by starting my own path. 

    I hope they are good grandparents to you. If my father is still around. I know he will be a great grandfather. I don’t know how my mother will be, but I know she will love you. I want so badly for them to be better because I want them in my life, and in yours. Because when my mother laughs, truly laughs, the whole room lights up. Her voice is as easy as Sunday morning, and it travels from your ears to your heart. With her around, you’ll never frown. You’ll have the best adventures, and you will learn to laugh at anything. My dad’s hugs are comforting and loving. He will teach you to love hugs, just like he did me, and his father before him. He is dependable, and hearty, and you will love every minute with him. I have memories of my grandparents, and even though they weren’t the best parents, they made up for it in their older years. They loved me, and every memory of them is a cherished one. 

    So, instead of being angry with my parents for the “what ifs” and “what could’ve been” I will take note. Taking with me what they did right, and leaving behind what didn’t work. I will continue living for the life I want for myself, and although I’m living through one of the most difficult moments of my life, I will continue to look forward to life.

    When I think of you, my future son(s) or daughter(s), I think of you through all stages of life. As an infant, when you’re still reliant on your parents constant attention and care. Then as a toddler. The time where you first begin to explore the world outside of yourself. You’ll test boundaries, and patience, but you’ll learn so much. Then as a child, a teenager, an adult. Your life will be yours to live through, and I can help guide you, but I know you won’t always listen. My advice to you, listen to me every once in a while. I know I talk a lot, but some of the things I have to say are useful. 

    I know you will be beautiful, and I hope you will be kind. But really I just want you to be yourself. I want you to express yourself, to be free of influence, and follow your dreams. Such bold, sweeping, statements, but it’s true. I will always be there to support you, but your life is yours, and I dream of what you will do with it. I dream of the things you will say, the laughs you will have, the time you will spend with others, and the time you spend alone. I dream of your hobbies and quirks, your daily routines and your bad habits. I dream of the friends you will make, and the family you will have. 

    I also dream of the mother I will be to you. The mother that kisses boo-boo’s and sings lullabies. The mother that scolds you when you hurt bugs, and the mother that dances wherever she feels like it. I’m sure there will be times where you’re embarrassed of me, but I hope that I will teach you to never be embarrassed for being yourself. I will be a mother of care and concern, and also a mother that fosters independence and self-reliance. I promise to support you and love you. I promise to encourage your curiosities, and nurture your personality. I promise to protect you from what I can, and prepare you for what I cannot. 

    I love my parents, and I know they want what is best for me, but I never really knew who I was. Most of my decisions were made based on what I thought my parents wanted. My favorite color was purple, because it was my dad’s favorite color. I wore the same pair of baggy jeans for a year, because my mom told me she liked them. I disliked Xbox games, because my dad disliked them. And when my mother grew a distaste for fruit, so did I. It wasn’t until I was 19 that I met a dear friend of mine. She helped me find myself outside of my parents.

    For the first time, I knew what my favorite color was: green. I knew what hobbies I liked, and I pursued them. I had a job I was happy with, even though my parents didn’t approve, but it didn’t matter to me. I bought myself fruit for the first time in years, and I ate as much as I wanted. I took baths with salt and oils in them. I splurged on what I wanted, treated myself to things I liked, and I was happy. For the first time I saw how life was meant to be lived. I decided then, that I would never go back to the way it was before. I want my parents to enjoy life like that too, but they’re set in their ways. I grieve for them, but it’s not my place to fix it for them. They are the only people capable of that.

    Not all good things last forever. And I won’t lie, it’s hard to see the bright side while living through the darkness. Although I told myself I would never go back to how things were, some habits are harder to kick than others. But then I experience something. A moment between blurred monotony. Like when I step outside, and the sun warms my cold skin. Or when the passing of the seasons becomes imminent in fallen leaves and chilly mornings. Or when the stars at night are the same as they were the night before, but they’re still just as exciting. Whatever it is, it’s a glimpse into what is still there, of what I can achieve. I can see a life ahead of me, even if I have no idea how I will get it, I know I can, and because I can, I will. 

    I will do everything in my power to protect you from unnecessary pain, but your life won’t be easy. If it were easy there would be no point. We are human, and therefore there will be challenges, but I hope to equip you with the tools to help you overcome them. That is my responsibility to you, my child, my children, that is the purpose of this love. Be happy, dance, hold your friends, and love animals. Laugh when you fall, and cry when you’re happy. Experience life, experience emotions, and appreciate what you have. 

    CLICK HERE TO WRITE ME BACK

    Sincerely,

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