Back in October of 2024, I attended a fundraiser for the safehouse that helped me through my time of great need in healing.
I was a nervous wreck, and had managed to talk myself into going after weeks of back and forth, pros and cons.
Would I fit in there?
Would I belong there?
Was I good enough to sit with the donors that had at one time changed my life for the better?
I didn’t know anyone at all. My mind raced with so many thoughts. Thanks to my daughter, I was able to go.
I had no idea, that walking through those doors, held a life changing surprise for my future.
I walked to the front and asked where my seat was. They couldn’t find my reservation and once again, I started to feel as if I was not where I belonged. They came back to the table and pointed to table 18. He handed me my information and I walked off to the table that would soon be the beginning of my dream come true. I’m not sure they want their names out there, but they are my heros. Angels in human form.
I will never forget the kindness shown to me that evening, as we sat through the horror stories and memories of a beautiful woman’s murder. She was a sister, a daughter, a mother. A wife. Taken away from this world far too early by the hands of a violent man.
The speaker was Denise Brown. Most of you may, or may not, remember her beautiful sister as Nicole Simpson- Brown. She was brutally murdered many years ago. This story, was very tragic.
I tried so hard to stay strong, to not let myself disassociate through the triggering words as they pierced my heart, and took my breath away.
They sat beside me, and just gently touched my shoulder asking if I was doing okay. I had to take a few breaks, I got up from the table and went into the bathroom to clean my face up just a bit. To breathe, and ground myself.
When the speaker was over, we all discussed a bit of my story.
At the end of the evening, I walked out with two numbers on my flyer and a possibility of a college scholarship. At first, I didn’t know if I would be hearing anything back, but the next day, I received a call from them. They decided to move forward with my scholarship!
I have never been so happy in my entire life, yet so scared at the same time. You see, second chances like this, an opportunity such as this, they don’t just happen every day.
In 2025, I have been given the gift of a college scholarship. I’m going back to school.
I’m going to start slow, and ease my way into things as I am very nervous. The paperwork was finalized this week. I’m picking out my classes on the 13th of January.
I’m not sure that I will ever be able to thank this beautiful couple for the gift that they have given to me, but I do know, that I am going to give it my everything, and keep pushing through. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING can stop me now. I am going back to school, and in the process, returning to the me that I have always known. I am smart, I am motivated, and I am going to crush this! Here’s to never giving up! Here’s to finding my way back to the me that I have always been capable of, but had been hidden. Next stop, Associates Degree. In 2025, I am celebrating second chances, and I am celebrating ME! COLLEGE HERE I COME!

He said!!! She said!

He said my will be done!
She said New Edition of a Magazine.
He said my will be done!

He said my will be done.
She said Relaunch podcast!
He said my will be done.

He said my will be done!
She said Release my Memoir.
He said my will be done!

He said my will be done.
She said go on Empowerment Tours!
He said my will be done.

He said my will be done!
She said record my audio books.
He said my will be done!

She said I want to do my best!!!
She said I will be Obedient!!!
She said I will walk in my Purpose!!!

He said my will be done, 2025!!!
He said my will be done, Charmaine!!!
He said my will be done Forever!!!

January 2023:
I committed myself
to writing
one poem
every day.

I shared them with others,
competed in slams,
won cash prizes,
got published,
and foolishly felt
my dreams of becoming
a Poet
had been realized.

January 2024:
I only half-recommitted
to trying again—
because
creativity is hard
when drowning in
the uninspiration
of happiness,
of love,
of peace of mind;
because
is it even possible
to create art
without my addictions,
without my anxieties,
without the Sisyphean effort
of figuring out:
Who Am I?

Days…

Weeks…

Months…

Nothingness,
resulting in
a new bout
of paranoia.

Seeking out
talk therapy,
and cognitive behavioral therapy,
and pharmaceutical therapy,
I had forsaken my greatest remedy.

January 2025:
I now stand steady
in a new resolve
to practice preaching
what I teach.

So I resolve myself
to the adventure of
creation without conformation,
without validation,
without enterprise
or end result.

I resolve myself
to myself,
to the pen,
to the poetry,
to fulfill the need
that bubbles up inside
to spew forth the words
that form from the fountain
of my inner-most foundations
as a salve,
as salvation
for my very soul.

This time, for 2025,
I’m bold enough to dream
and water the seeds
I’ve been planting for 27 years.

I’ll make a faultless plan,
calibrate the stars to align again and again
like I’ve been hoping for.

I’ll make that meal plan, hit the gym, and drink less
because everyone told me I can, until I regress
and think of her again.

I’ll write that novel that I’ve sworn I’d finish,
half sprouted and waiting on ideas to flourish
out of my overworked and overwhelmed heart.

This time, for 2025,
I’ll keep my house clean
for all of the people that I hope can see
a sign of life thriving.

I’ll keep a budget
and stop saying “screw it”
when I need a fix just to calm down for a moment.

I’ll make that record full of screaming and singing
over an acoustic guitar, dreaming
of what love I’ve gained and lost so suddenly.

This time, for 2025,
2024 has kissed us goodbye,
the hurt and the triumph coincide
as a juxtaposition for growth.

forty-five pounds of me has already fallen off
but I still want more, as if I have not
given myself permission to acknowledge my own victories.

I will no longer live life in cliche and trope
that everyone cyclically promises and fails on a new year; in 2025 I can see that hope
is the recognition of seeds planted, no matter how long it takes the trees to grow.

This time, for 2025,
I’m bold enough to hope,
bold enough to dream
and water the seeds
I’ve been planting for 27 years.

Dear 2025,
I need to survive!
I need to thrive!
I need to live!
I need to forgive!
I need give!

Little am I privy to what the future holds.
My dreams and plans are fairytales until the tales are told.

I hope for adventure, I hope for growth.
That I heal my growing pains with both.

When I’m ready to love again,
I’ll be as myself as I’ve ever been.

I know the future will come with hurts,
That healing hearts bring out the worst.

If the aches are just too much to bear,
I’ll have my people standing there.

I’ll learn my burdens can be set down,
I’ll grow my strength and wear my crown.

And when this year is finally done,
That I’ll be ready for another one.

The dawn of a year, so bold, so bright,
A canvas of dreams bathed in new light
No mountain too high, no storm too wild,
This is my year – focused, and inspired.

I’ll rise each day with purpose clear, casting away every doubt, every fear.
For goals are seeds, and I will sow with girt and grace, I’ll watch them grow.
Strength in my body, sharpness in my mind, Moments of joy, the peace I’ll find. Connection deeper, bridges I’ll build, a life fulfilled, my spirit thrilled.

With every step and try, I’ll aim for stars and reach for the sky.
This is my year, my time to thrive, In 2025, I will come ALIVE.

Dear Unsealed,

I was going to make a long list,
Of at least
Ten goals to conquer
On my bucket list
Of proper
Stuff to do,
Write,
Create music as you
Write poetry,
Stories of life
The other goal
That worries my soul
To be so bold
As I hear at 75, I might lose
My social security and healthcare.
Beware
I was told today
So bold
By a friend
I would have to get a real job,
My art, my songs, my writing does not pay,
Here what I say
She said,
I looked at her and walked into my room,
Walk away today,
My goal is to tell anyone
To their face
That said to me give up your writing and all that,
Get a real job!
I texted her I do not need to be told
So bold,
What to do,
She made me blue,
Rolled off my shoulder,
As I am bolder
At 75,
Glad to be alive.
My one fun goal is to get a tattoo
Of a red rose
Painted on me by my cousin LA,
Prose and praise,
I will be so bold,
As I am old
To take a course in AI,
Maybe get certified,
Then money will flow,
But all the while
My dear child,
I cry out to naysayers,
Think how your words pierce my heart
As I am now making a new creative start.
My goals for 2025 are:
a. Let things naysayers slide off my shoulders.
b. Continue to create art, music, and writing.
c. Research taking course in AI to be certified to work professionally
d. BREATHE!
These are my immediate thoughts about my goals for 2025. There is a possibility that the new government in DC will cut our social security, health care and all entitlements as the billionaires talk destruction of our lives as we know it to create fear in everyone.
BREATHE!

2025 is gonna be a year
Of cutting ties and creating new
Bonds developing new circles.
So quick give me a scalpel
I need a clean cut
Some surgical removals
Just a metaphor.
Some are gonna be left
With a scar that can’t be seen,
Scared emotionally
A feeling from the core
That’s gonna be hard to ignore.
I would know because
I’ve felt the pain before.
From broken bones to
A broken heart I’ve been through both.
Emotional damage resonates
A pain felt Internally
Some hold onto it for eternity.
This is just a hint of what 2025 will be.

My alarm blares, and I hit snooze,
Ignoring the time as I doze.
I wake feeling blue,
Let chaos infuse,
But in 2025, it’s rise vs. overdue.

I don’t have an extraordinary event to tell you about…not this time. I’d like to get there one of these days. Tell a good tell of some glory days I may have left, but today I have my niece to talk about.

Not long ago, I saw family that I hadn’t seen in a while. It took me long enough to go see them, but I figured it had been too long. Figured I shouldn’t waste so much time on things like this, because you never know when you’re going to get that time again.

It was good to see my family and show my face. That stuff still counts for something. Well, showing up was appropriate it, nonetheless, but it was emotional for me as I thought about the hiatus of being around them and all that I had missed.

My niece was one of those things that I have missed. I didn’t know she’d be so adorable when I meet her. I had heard about her and didn’t know what to expect from her. She turned my trip into a well worth it journey. She was full of life with her giggles and smiles. Had me thinking of kids of my own for a moment. Other moments…I thought about the world we live in and what it has come to and how she’s going to have to grow up in it and navigate through it the best way she can. But I suppose that’s what we do when it comes to our younger ones…I suppose that’s what we do.

Sitting on our king-size bed in a small hotel room, just big enough for two, it dawned on me that 2024 would soon be through. In an instant, the entire year flashed before my eyes. Each memory that ran through my mind carried an emotional tie. I would smile, then sigh. It’s funny how we go through life trying to survive every heartache that comes our way, clinging to any blissful memory that helps the day’s pain temporarily fade, even if just for a few seconds. As 2024’s end draws near, going into the new year will become my favorite memory—a few moments of my life I’d love to freeze in time. The hardest question to answer is which of them will forever be engraved in my heart and mind could it be when we were in Austin, holding each other close because living in two different cities made every mile feel lonely and long? A moment of silence was broken when you looked into my eyes and asked, “Will you marry me?” My heart jumped for joy—or at least that’s what it felt like. It could have been our unborn baby moving inside me at the time. Of course, the day I heard our baby girl’s first cry as she entered the world will always stand out. That is a given. But the one memory that will always capture my heart is the one we created here in the Days Inn. We had no money to spend, yet somehow, a little tree, lights, and a few decorations were provided. The reason this is my most treasured moment is that, even though we had very little, we managed to show our three-month-old daughter the most valuable lesson anyone could ever pass on: love, resourcefulness, and the joy of making the best of what you have. Here’s a refined version with improved punctuation and flow: to surround yourself with people who love you, no matter what; to appreciate what you have; to be grateful for what was given—this will always be my favorite memory. It was in that moment I felt complete, because I now have a little family to share this Kong size bed withAnd now, life feels like pure bliss.

Let me know if you’d like to add or adjust anything further!

The year is slowly approaching its end
And I have so many great memories
It’s hard to choose only one
But I do notice one commonality
All my favorite memories of 2024
Start and end with you
My Bae and I
Did vision boards to start the year
I surprised her with a Valentine’s Day date
To see B. Simone
Later in February
We ended up going to see
Elevation Worship and Steven Furtick
We laughed a lot
At We Them One’s Comedy Tour
Hosted by Mike Epps
We missed each other for days
That turned to months
Until we were reunited for my birthday trip
To Phoenix, Arizona
That started off a little rough
But ended up with plenty of sun
Rest, relaxation and quality time
Then in September
We ended in Houston, Texas
For a much needed escape
Great food and the Waterfall Park
Were just a few highlights
Until you drove countless hours to Atlanta, Georgia
For One Music Fest 2 day music festival
Sexxy Red was a no show
But GloRilla did her thing
We had a blast
Until the trip had to come to an end
Now it’s December
You are here at my side
As the holidays aren’t the same
I’m thankful we get to spend them together
As we both are missing our Moms
This is the best time of year
And the best moment of the year
Is truly you being with me
When all I need is your support
Going to see the tree
At Rockefeller center
Brought back the Christmas spark I’ve missed
So thank you Bae for being a part of making 2024 a blessing!

My best memory of 2024? Would probably be my worst. It was a year of many worsts. But this is about the best, so back to that. Looking back over the year, the loss of my father would be my favorite memory. I know it doesn’t make much sense. Don’t get me wrong I’d give anything to have his laugh back in the room, but he found peace. His suffering and his struggle were over. Then there was the beauty of his last day. He may not have been conscious, but he was present with the whole family that day. The best part of it all, his testimony of his faith as he lay dying. It gave all those around him hope, and feel their faith in the moment. Testing his legacy. So yeah, the memory my father passing actually makes me smile a little. It’s one of my best for 2024.

Another year for the books
Many trips into the unknown
What a long journey this has been
But I didn’t go through it alone

My body is no longer my prison
But a shell that I must keep
With reconstructions here and there
It has become the home for me

I walked through a garden of roses
I walked through the streets of L.A.
Spotted “New Flowers” in cracks on the ground
They brightened even the darkest of days

Some of the flowers have withered
Dead leaves fell in their place
I’ve found new joy in bare branches
For everything has its time and place

The seasons don’t change where I live
But I change with every step as I grow
Everything is here for a moment
I welcome, I love, I let go

What will I take away from this year?
It’s hard to choose just one
Each moment was a puzzle piece
Crafted by God’s love

Open doors led to friendship
A fellowship as well
You took a plane, I took the train
And we created stories to tell

This year was a garden of memories
I’ve planted the seeds that you sent me
The kindest gesture in the form of a gift
But the greatest gift of all is your friendship

Thank you for your warm hugs
Thank you for your prayers
Thank you for all you’ve blessed me with
And always being there

They asked me what I could bring to the table. I told them the room. They said, “Why do you need the room?” I said because if not in the room, then I’m outside, and do you know what’s outside? Bugs. Things that bug and pest. Things that bug and pests tend to get noticed, raided, and even physically dismissed. But just like the atmosphere of an 8am court case, I’m standing on business, and in my room is where the table was made.

The prompt for tonight’s challenge is to formulate and attempt to describe, for a moment, the greatest memory of 2024. I can already tell you that every great memory that now submits for me for 2024 includes a desk or some sort of table, where I believe divinity manifested the return of my Unapologetic nature and Curiosities about self, immersion to my immediate and extended, perhaps even cosmically inclusive, environments and ecosystems, and why all of that matters. My favorite memory, if I had to isolate it to just one thing, that cannot overlap with anything else, it would be the first time that I got into a company designated vessel for a very high profile technological and navigationally Innovative and involved Corporation, and was able to feel the enclosure and borrowed security, vehicular security, of driving my first vehicle in over 6 years, that was not commercially licensed, and have the freedom to take it wherever I wanted it to go. For the first time in my life, being a black person with a company designated, dispensed, and accounted for credit card, with my name correctly spelled on it. Having a job and corporate cellular device that acted as the epicenter for how I would eventually maintain as well as fail and sustaining, what I would deem as consistently sufficient, communications with my superiors. I had no idea that buried within this particular memory, I sat on what eventually became my most thrilling summer yet.

A 30-year-old man, from English Avenue, which is also known as an area called the bluff, in residential Atlanta Georgia. A product and incomparable abnormality of the Atlanta Public School System, who then fought and self-educated his way to not only the University of West Georgia but also all the way out to the University of Southern California, just to enter into a six-figure debt for a piece of paper that means nothing. That same 30 year old man, who really had to grow up and become someone who not only walked the walk but had to walk the specific talks that I’ve been privy to and kind of locked into with both the rearing and the passing of my mother only years prior. The same 30-year-old man who knew what hand towels and Rags were for, which is to dab the sweat off of the face, as opposed to continuing to run a race Against Time, community, and myself, when all you have to do, sometimes, it’s just be willing to take the next step, trusting and having the audacity to consistently believe that the next step, irregardless of Road or texture of pathway, mean something, even if you have to Define what that is. The very first time I sat in that company vehicle and closed the door, certain rooted emotions began to consume and then accompany me all the way from home in Kennesaw, Georgia to the dusty and wisdom paved roads of Dyersburg, Tennessee. I remember the bends in the evergrowing flatness of the horizon line up to St. Louis, Missouri. I remember the risk it was driving to Ottumwa, Iowa and the speed I never knew I could sustain trying to escape an inevitable traffic citation in Fargo, North Dakota, only after a long and enduring overnight drive through Sioux Falls, South Dakota, which only springboarded me right to where I finally was headed…Glendive, Montana. I drove every mile. I made it to every stop, every city, and completed every assignment that was allotted to me. At just 30 I can say that I’ve seen a lot of places. At 30, I can say I’ve gone out of my state, and not just because of some academia-based program, but for work. My favorite memory of 2024 isn’t a memory it’s an ongoing experience that just so happened to start when I hit a button that said push to start. I look forward to what the next year has in store, and I hope God is looking forward to our next Journey, because I will never be able to repay him, for the grace and continued favor I managed to find like grains of sand on the beach every day this year. I found me out on that road. And I finally brought him home. I look forward to more submissions to this platform, so thank you for the opportunity.

In Philly’s vibe, where art’s alive,
Two friends meet, their spirits thrive.
Orange and black, red and white,
Colors dancing in the Sculpture Yard’s light.

“What’s The Tea?” we came to see,
Where flavors soothe and set hearts free.
Tea like coffee, bold yet sweet,
A soulful moment, a perfect retreat.

We spoke of power, women’s strength,
Of building bridges, going great lengths.
A sound bath wrapped us in dreams untold,
Spring’s fresh buds, life’s stories unfold.

With strangers near, like Wonderland’s twist,
Sisterhood formed, a moment not missed.
Girl time healing, laughter flows,
In the simplest of acts, the magic grows.

Always make time for tea, my dear,
A pause for love, for hope, for cheer.
In every sip, a spark can gleam,
In tea, we brew a brighter dream.

Dear Unsealers,

If I’m honest 2024 was a blue and so was 2023. When I think of my favorite memory all that I remember is what I’ve lost. I do have favorite moments though, that are made up in my day. The birds that I hear that sing notes when life feels mundane. The squirrel that tries to hit me with a nut because well that’s his tree, so find another. The gator that sunbathes as I go for a walk. My cat thats asks me to play when I get too serious. If I have energy and venture out the conversations with strangers. No favorite memory just in between moments on the way to my favorite memory.