Strangers in Passing
By Roxanne De Guzman

I’m fifteen and my sister and I are laughing just a little too hard in the Sephora checkout line
Everything special, but nothing new; she’s my best friend, and we laugh like this all the time
The older woman behind us taps me on the shoulder, kind face and a reassuring smile
Have you guys had a few too many mimosas over brunch? Because that sure is what it seems like

Now I never knew her name, and it’s been too long to remember her face
But I recall her starting a conversation, and I still think about her to this day
She said we remind her of her daughter, a government-advisor-turned-culinary-business-owner-Hallmark-cliche
And she told us to follow our dreams no matter what, even, and especially, if they change

So here I am all these years later, three weeks before quitting my first job after graduation
Trying to decide if I should find another gig or continue my education
I’m not happy: I’m lost and confused and consumed by burning, aching, throbbing indecision
Cursing who I am and who I used to be and the people who put me in this position

I’m in this stage of life right now where I can’t stop making a fool of myself
Some bad things are easy to handle, but even those, I don’t handle well
And I’m desperate to grow up, to be better, to right all my wrongs and come out of my shell
But I lock myself in my room, dissociative, spiraling, pushing boulders up infinite hills

I feel so stuck, I grew up with so many dreams and so much potential, oh how I wish I was more
How I wish I hadn’t stopped seeing the beauty of my own life the minute misfortune showed up at my door
It’s hard to be afraid, to be alone, to do everything you could have done and still come up short
I wish I picked myself back up in the moment; now I’m sifting through sharp glass, trying to see what I can restore

I need to be unafraid to change, to leave, to believe that the universe is ultimately kind and good
That if I do my best until there’s nothing left, then this time, it will work out like I had always hoped it would
And I need to focus more on the things that I can do and do them, instead of worrying about likelihood
And one day, maybe soon, I will make sense of the lessons that I never truly understood

I’m safe here in my bubble, surrounded by love and light and poetry to grace every empty page
And while I’ve started to see the beauty in this current life, I don’t think I’ll be happy if I continue to play it all safe
I think the novelty is worth the trouble: the wisdom comes when you grow with your age
And everything new is absolutely terrifying, but not nearly as awful as the monotony of staying the same

I’m thankful for love and the changes, the sweetness of the strangers, and the thrill of something new
The inspiration and the solid foundations, the warmth of a home to always come back to
The motivation of the stagnation, the things we gain in translation— the dreams, this time I know I’ll see them through
How unprompted kindness heals the weathered heart, turning hurricanes to morning dew

The fear of uncertainty, the passing on of courage, the comfort of strangers being kind when they didn’t have to be
Everything special, and everything new; no obligation, just a sense of community
Softening the soul, bringing down the walls, making a lover of someone who used to think so cynically
And the strangers I’ve met in passing will never know just how much the things they’ve said and done still mean to me

Parade participants dance and gyrate.
Snaking down the glittery rainbow street.
While drag queen’s sashay perfectly straight
Atop outrageously high heels, an incredible feat.

My eyes dart wildly from side to side.
Taking in ample amounts of bare skin
Of people unconcerned with a need to hide.
Of strangers marching closer than kin.

I breathe in the thickly weed scented air.
Feel the heat from the scorching asphalt.
I toss back my head without a care.
Unafraid of danger or assault.

On this particular day
There’s no hate for loving my own gender.
Surrounded by all the gay,
Love reigns in abundant splendor.

Five million gather to say thank you
For fifty years of Stonewall’s disquiet.
To honor and attest that which we hold true.
And to remember the first pride was a riot.

When I think of the things in my life that
I am grateful for there is so much
But one of the things that comes to mind
Is a person

When I think of what a best friend she is what comes to mind

People hurt you
They disappoint you
Make you disbelieve

When the truth is right in front of you
You have to see it for what it truly is

And that is gratefulness because to understand the importance of
a good person, good friend

Can be once in a lifetime

To find a soul mate in a friend
Is special

To create a bond of trust
To share honestly
Even when I don’t like it
But it always ended up needing it

A pair of misfits
A lifetime of laughter

Silliness
Sadness

The good and bad and everything in-between

Joyful
Thoughtful

Weirdly unique

No matter what always there

I love person and I will forever be thankful
To call my friend

Dear Unsealers,

Being grateful is something that I don’t do enough 
especially when life is rough
but when the grateful spirit enters the mind
A great wave of gratitude gives me joy inside  

There are so many things I’m grateful for 
and have me eager to see what more
 life has in store

I’m grateful every day to have another chance
and to start a new dance
I’m grateful for another day to choose
even when I have the blues

I’m grateful that I was given the blessing of life 
even though it’s filled with constant strive
I’m grateful for the life experiences that I’ve had
Some happy and some deeply sad

I’m grateful that I’m in a different place
when years ago, my head was in a different space
I’m grateful for the many connections I’ve made
some connections remained, while others faded away

I’m grateful for the achievements I’ve accomplished so far
they make me feel that it’s possible to reach the stars
And I’m grateful to be in a position to be able
to express feeling grateful