In your arms I find sanctuary

A linked security I can’t explain

like two unsure sloths burrowing for warmth

and bonding around a new haven

Falling into a closeness, a new rhythm of attachment

I welcome your warmth

The quiet it ensues from the raging thoughts it has silenced

The liquidation of my being against yours as I lean against you

And burrow my arms around your neck

The vulnerability it pulls from me

And ecstasy you derive from me just by holding me close

Oh, the sanctuary you create

When you nuzzle your head into the crook of my neck and breath me in like a welcoming summer breeze

By pulling me close, facing me towards you, and kissing my skin

I swim in the serenity of your lips, mind and body

And crave the next warm bliss I’ll get from your embrace

When you hold me under the wind-blown tree across the pond

Or snuggle with me in the comfort of your bed

Or even just to scoop me up in your arms and spin around with me cradled there, just to be silly

Just to make me happy

When I’m with you, the world stops

What a delicate creature you are, to give me such wonderful peace

I want you.

Nothing more than to just give you those soft kisses on your lips and to have my eyes connect with yours so you feel my love exude from my stare the same way they exude from my lips when they kiss you so passionately and so softly.

Like they did when they saw you for the first time after all of those years.

When my tongue slipped into your mouth and felt your tongue as they began to slow dance with mine.

I pulled back just a little so I could suck your bottom lip so softly stopping slowly that at the end you heard that pop just when I let go as it ended it with a soft tap kiss as both of our eyes were closed.

I want you to want me the same way again.

To take me in and in every way possible…in all ways…always. Take in my words, take in my body, take in the softness of my voice as my “I love you’s” come pouring out of my mouth like the emotions and the feelings come pouring out of my heart.

Grab my thighs and hold my hands as you begin to thrust and make love to me so passionately.

Interlock your fingers into mine and take my body like you have taken my body numerous times before except you have somehow managed to make every intimate moment feel like a distant memory because that’s exactly what it is…just a memory that we might not be able to relive or make happen again. They won’t happen ever again as much as I would like it to but we both know we have been avoiding the possibility and my insecurities and negativity are a big issue and get in the way.

The memories of when you would release your love into me and then seal it with a forehead kiss are my favorite. We’d then fall asleep in each other’s arms grinning with satisfaction as I lay my head on your chest while hearing your heart beat racing because you put in a lot of work doing what you did to me. That was electrifying, intensifying, yet peaceful.

I used to live for these moments and I loved the intimacy. The communication we had and still do have was and is amazing. You are my peace on my most chaotic and most challenging days. We are slowly gravitating towards each other back slowly. I am loving the smiles I see on your face, the sun as it hits your eyes on some mornings and those full lips… goodness those full lips make me want to grab your face and give you the most beautiful yet passionate kiss ever so I can grab your hands and place them on my thighs so you can make your move but I will refrain from doing that. The intimacy is intensifying again and intimacy isn’t just sex. It is everything.

Peace was a dream
When we wake
Its pain and chaos

Peace was a goal
While we hope
It often feels lost

Peace was when I’m sleeping
As I float
While deep breathing

Peace was a sigh
That we let out
After we cry

Peace was a lie
As I ran
Tried to hide

Peace was at least
Was a fictional
Treasure piece

Peace so I thought
Was attainable
If a long shot

But then..

Peace found me
And held me
Oh so tight

Peace made love
Fire wishes
It burned so bright

Peace is pure passion
Pure hearted
And loving of fun

Peace is what
I hope you feel
Cause you are warmer than the sun

My peace is air hockey
The hotel pool
The Halal Guys near school

You deserve
The peace that
Makes your sweet soul feel full

Because of you
I now know peace
Is more than just a dream

So thank you
For existing
My peanut butter Queen

I feel safe with you
Engulfed In your warm embrace
There’s no race with you
Nothing but perfect timing
No rush
A steady pace with you
No judgment or a pleading case with you
I Am free
Bigger than life itself
Cloaked in your love
Embodying all of your glory
I Am at peace
Wind carrying your wisdom
A calm in my soul so when it hits my skin I hear it
I feel it
I become it
I Am at peace
You helped me pick up the pieces
A beautiful mosaic
A masterpiece in the making
A muse
The artist
The adorned one
I Am at peace when I look at you
Deep into your eyes I see everything you’ve been through
Everything you overcame
Everything you dreamt of coming true
I see the peace in you
I see the strength in you
Allowing my weaknesses to exist but not to consume me
I feel the healing in you
Knowing you’ll never tell me wrong or lead me astray
I trust you
With my mind, body and soul, I love you
In the mirror these Words are spoken
The place I find peace is on the surface of my skin
In the depths of my soul 
In the core of my heart
There’s no place like home 
I Rebuilt this foundation from the ground up 
Digging deeper
Building higher
Standing stronger than before
Rusted nails once held together the parts of me that were no longer serving
Gutting waste
Restoring what is cherished
Pulling everything from up under me and replacing it with pure raw materials
It smells like freedom from within
It looks like peace from the outside
It feels new all around me
It’s Heaven on Earth
This new construction is made from love
The deepest love for myself
Acceptance in every breath I take
Alignment with every exhale 
There’s solitude here
There’s peace in the quiet
There’s passion in my posture
There’s ownership in my steps
There’s comfort here
There’s everything I desire
There’s abundance
There’s success
There’s the beauty in all things
All of it, found within me. 

I have known peace in silence,
A peace where words are meaningless.
I have known peace in speech,
A peace where words bring wonder.

I have known peace in joy,
A peace which touches all it sees.
I have known peace in sorrow,
A peace that is deep and graceful.

I have known peace in action,
A peace when actions are spontaneous.
I have known peace in inaction,
A peace that bows down to the big picture.

I have known peace in passion,
A peace that is ready to burn in service.
I have known peace in dispassion,
A peace that is able to let go.

I have known peace in all the opposites,
Love, hatred, wisdom, and ignorance.
I have known the peace in myself,
And that’s the peace I wish for you.

In the space between beginning to fall and feeling pain
Rain’s sudden stop while driving under a bridge
Laughter silenced by holding breath through a tunnel
A dropped glass’ last second before the shatter
Quiet lightening cracks awaiting the clap of thunder
Sudden pauses, the allusion of frozen time
A breath of fresh air or the wind knocked out?
A hallowed interlude or a hollowed moment?
Peace in waiting and bliss in ignorance
Comfort in the middle of what was and what must be
Safety in the space between

My thoughts boundless waves,
Crashing, implacable, unrelenting.
Yet with your hand I am brave,
To my will the waves now bending.

I peer in your eyes,
Submerge in your amber expanse,
Searching for parts of myself
Unknown to me, entranced.

I bask in the wonder of being known,
I revel in you calling me your own.

Your gaze both precise and warm,
Your smile gifted by Midas.
I am adorned in your laugh,
In this space crafted by us.

Oh the joy, the wonder of being known,
Oh the joy in you calling me your own.

The Places I Feel Most at Peace

The Branchport Avenue Bridge, the sounds, the smell of the geese poop and the feel of the breeze is where I feel most at peace.
At church, where I worship, where I pray, where I serve, where I believe. At church is where I feel most at peace.
On the train going over the water, sitting and waiting for the next train to approach. The vibration and sounds of its purpose bring me to a place of ease. On the train is where I feel most at peace.
Sitting at the beach watching the water flow, the sun hitting against my skin, the wind telling me that you are next to me. The beach is where I feel most at peace.
Sitting by a campfire listening to its crackling, the smell of the smoke, the laughter of our loved ones. The memories of the old and the making of the new. In that moment I wish to sit and freeze. Sitting by a campfire is where I feel most at peace.
Peace is within me so where I am I have the ability to feel at peace. Let stress release and embrace the moments and the places that you feel most at peace.

By: Kelly Wolff

Peace is the knock of my knife against a cutting board
The subtle beeps of the oven timer
The smell of roasted root vegetables and garlic

Peace is the sound of unfamiliar chords becoming acquainted
It is the surrender of the body to music
And lyrics full of nostalgia

Peace is the clinking of nails against wine glasses
And paws against the linoleum

Peace is paper bags full of groceries and afternoon tea
Peace is the end of a journal entry
And at the end of my toes as I tree pose
Peace is the shady nook of my favorite holly

It is standing ankle-deep in the sand
And the carriage of scents pulled by the wind

Peace is an invitation
To laugh
To celebrate
To bask in the warmth of a lingering embrace

Peace is incense and sunlight spilling through window sheers
Peace is unafraid to reveal its tears,
Creating art that beckons them near.

Peace lies in the words whispered in prayer
Peace is Thank you, stranger, friend or foe
Peace is tasting my lover’s lips
It is the crunch of perfectly toasted sourdough

Peace is knowing when to finally let go
Peace is everywhere I am full and my mind is empty
Peace is.

I sit in the darkness of my Oma’s Swedish A-frame. Typing away some assignment on a Thursday night. I think about the Swedish man that built this house. The stuffed mallard mounted on the mantle wall. How there were two, but he took one when he left.
I wonder if he knew the castle he’d built here would grant a girl such refuge. This house is the last place I have from my childhood. I’ve followed the deer tracks down by the bog and filled my skort with so many acorns they spilled out of my pockets. I’ve hunted easter eggs and built new Christmas toys on the kitchen floor. I’ve blown out birthday candles and cried over pretty boys in the loft. I’ve laid backwards the slat staircase to stare at the room upside down. I’ve hid in every corner and in every flower bed for the longest, most competitive games of hide and seek known to man. I’ve wasted away summer days in the gazebo, devouring John Green novels until the sun set. I’ve glided a razor scooter down the sidewalk-less roads with only Opa, my sister, and the morning birds to guide our journey. I’ve watched Charlotte’s Web (1973) more times that I can possibly count. I said goodbye to my Opa for the last time in this very living room. When the skin on his hand was softer than mine, and his perfectly twirled mustache finally gave way to the chemo. I’ve sat with his ghost, and I have told him everything.
I know I have no control over what happens to this house. Eventually the things will be divided and bickered over. The furniture will be donated, the cars sold. I don’t get a say in where any of it goes. I know there’s more relinquishing to do, that the final act of love is always the letting go. But this house never asked me to save it, it only ever wanted to save me.

I used to speak to the moon almost every night. While my tears became an ocean, I began to swim, to catch my breath, to save myself from dying. In between the tides, I saw my body lie there, my heart crushed between my fingers, my eyes locked inside my head. I dreamt of Neverland again. I dreamt of flying with a boy who knew all of my secrets. We jumped from cloud to cloud, reciting every poem that ever spoke of love. I dreamt of sorrow that disappeared in the air and of mermaids who showed me which way to go.
I met the boy from my dream. I saw him standing on the porch of an old run-down home. There was a light that shined behind him. He looked just like an angel with no wings. What was his spell on me? Was it the leather jacket he wore? The cuffs on his wrists and the spears on his belt? Was it how familiar he seemed? I stood with him that night. We chain smoked cigarettes while he confessed to me his heartache caused by the world. We solved the problems of capitalism and war. His thumb grazed my knuckles. I told him all of my secrets.
Time is almost invisible but I’m afraid of it running out. My head rests on the boy that I met a long time ago. His heart dances and takes mine by her hand. They swing at their hips, they tango, their heels kiss on the tiled floor. The Earth keeps on spinning. Voices turn into shrubs and the only thing I hear is tun tun tun like drums beating through his chest. My arms wrap all the way around his torso. He reminds me of a tree in the forest. The moisture of his leaves soak into my pores. This is the first time my body is drenched in water. Azaleas blossom on my skin. I had never felt the warmth of the sun so strongly until this very moment.
I used to speak to the moon almost every night. I begged her to send me someone who could love me, someone who would soothe the thoughts that drove me to pain. I used to ask for the Earth to just stay here a while so that I could listen to my own whispers. Tonight I dream again of Neverland. I dream of a boy who flies and takes me with him. Only this time, it isn’t just a dream. The imprint of our bodies stains the sheets. I look into his pupils and I finally know peace.