Dear future self,
I actually finished this poem. May this pave the way to bring more completion to our path. Our story has been a series of starts, stops, twists, turns and falls, but now, the math is starting to math.
I imagine you’ve come a long way from feeling stagnant. I hope that feeling stuck is just your sign to pause and enjoy your life. I pray that the only time you feel lost is in a book. I long to see you cry from laughing too hard and your knees hit the dirt only because you dove through the finish line.
I hope your words served you best. I hope you found a chest to lay your head against and it is filled with treasure. I hope your fire never dies while you splash through puddles of at your leisure. I also want you to know that it paid off to be alone. How else would we have known how precise to build our throne?
I pray for you often and, in my heart, I know you’ll be okay. Your strength will always push you forward when your world is frozen in place. Your wisdom will always wait patiently for you to notice when you have strayed. I could bottle every one of your tears just to witness their beauty and redemption. I would listen to every story that they tell and the praises they would mention.
I’m doing the work so that my scars won’t cast shadows on your shine. I know you will continue to make those around you feel electrified, but don’t let anyone get in your way, not even me. I ask this small request. Will you still hold my hand when I can’t see? Will you always give your best? Can we still make silly faces? Tell inside jokes and get plenty of rest? Will you keep me from getting lost in spaces with things that bump in the night? Will you promise not to let anyone else dim our light?
I want you to know that I have started to believe in us. I refuse to give up on our future, and I exercise more trust. I apologize for repeating the past and allowing the overthinking and the agony to last. The times that we connected, I was just happy to meet you, forgetting that you were there to teach me not to let my fear bleed through. As we cross over to 30, I look in the mirror everyday and see a force, a beauty, and a flame. You are a masterpiece, and your life is the frame. My heart is full just thinking of how amazing you must be. Even if nothing changes, I love you just because you’re me.
The road I travel will always bring me closer to you. Knowing that you will always be, is enough. Enough to keep going, to endure and allow others to help me too. I imagine you growing into yourself and tossing potential out the window. All you have to be is yourself and allow real love to make its intro. You deserve it, and always have. Continue to never let these folks tell you what to do. You are still Daddy (inside joke), and I will always love you.