For most of my life
Depression held on to me
With its iron grip

Depression fooled me
It charmed the hell out of me
By that, I mean choked

It got me thinking
Everything in my life sucked
I stayed in a hole

For those three decades
The cesspool of depression
Washing over me

My life felt hopeless
I would have rather been dead
Than survive this shit

It got very bad
I kept getting admitted
To the hospital

The one where they kept
The psych patients in safety
Who would rather maim

Themselves or others
Than face the reality
Of their existence

After eighteen stays
Totaling eight or nine months
I felt the last straw

There had to be change
Or I would keep going there
It would never end

After the last stay
I felt severely depressed
Something had to give

I decided that
Lying in my bed all day
Was not an option

I wanted to act
As if I were a content
Person who loved life

I put ideas
In my head like “It’s all good”
Negativity

Eventually
Left my mind without a trace
Positivity

Moved into my brain
My mindset was replaced by
An ethereal peace

Anxiety left
Me and into the graveyard
Where the negative

Find finality
And eternal rest away
From my contentment

I have far to go
I have come very far now
But still room to grow

If you hear me bitch
And complain about my life
You will hear me ask

Myself what to do
That is in my control to
Flip the script my way

I never let it
Hang in the balance for long
It will bend to me

I will always ask
How can I make this better?
Never is it bad

I’ve cultivated
A positive mindset and
Visualized good

Things coming my way
Wherein I get everything
I could ever need

I could ever want
Even things I have never
Ever imagined

You can do it too –
Find pure joy and happiness
Just follow my lead

Looking through the doorway
Its open for you to enter
Full of amazing and endless opportunities
What are you going to fill your body with today
Its going to be positive things
Leave her outside the door and move
Through to the other side
Leave the past behind
Take one step
Your now through the door
You see light
You see your dreams
Flooding in all directions
Seeing who your meant to be
Doing what you absolutely adore and love
Engraving your life into the stone that is alongside the walkway
Your happy, your at peace
And the doorway is now closed
Where the negative things lie on the other side
The place where you came from

Attitude is everything. You need to have the right attitude in life. Just hold on tight cus that means we gotta put up a fight. I believe in you and you believe in me. Shining brighter than the stars on a summer night. My personal attitude is to have joy in life and have no regrets. If I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I think back to when I was sixteen. Dad gave a girl everything it is. I believe that joy is what we see beyond these clouds with your painter night sky falls. With every heartbeat, let happiness be our creed. I can remember the times I felt like this when we were so innocent but at least in need being in a world where I was incomplete.

Life’s a dance, let’s sway and spin in pure bliss. We’ll dance until the dawn, feeling pure delight. I don’t really want to go to sleep. I want to know what is real and what is in. Never knowing wrong from right. We will dance until we are blind not knowing where we are. When you try to find your way somehow I could help and I hope you know that. We will keep on searching for nothing in this world for all. Doing what we can so we don’t fall behind. I know it sounds crazy but life is all about the wild journey where we laugh through every twist. More than just a story that’ll spin you around and make you wanna fall. And I believe in what we go through before the rain falls. We are the lost one living in the shadow of your smile. Why do you want to waste away so many things? But I know that someday we will embrace it all. We did it all for the moment we go on like this. Every moment glows as we answer the call. I believe there is hope in this world beyond the walls. Even though, I have been living my life without you. My personal attitude is that you and I would never be apart. We will rise above the noise, together we’re freed. I just want to be the best I can be. One day at a time is the rest of my life. So believe me and live my life like this like that now we’ve been so convinced. It is all in the mind set. Is the glass half empty or full? Have a positive outlook. They said I wouldn’t change a thing I don’t care who was there for me and when I was born I was a child.And I ain’t ashamed to say that I’m not perfect. However, I was always daddy’s little girl.

DEAR UNSEALED,
I BELIEVE IN LIFE!
WITH STRIFE OR WITHOUT STRIFE,
AS LIFE IS GOOD
OR LIFE CAN BE BAD.
LIFE CAN BE AS IT WOULD
BE, SAD OR GLAD,
IF NOT FOR BRIEF INTERRRUPTIONS OF SPACE
IN THE RAT RACE.
I BELIEVE IN A CREATOR OF LOVE.
I BELIEVE LIVING AS ONE AS A TURTLE DOVE IN LOVE.
I USED TO LOVE LIFE FOR LOVE,
BUT LOVE IS LIFE.
NOT LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR
IN BARS AND CLUBS OF INSANE GREASY TAR
TO SLIP INSIDE A BOOTH ALOOF
FROM ALL WHO STARE LIKE A SPOOK.
I BELIEVE THAT LIFE IS A DREAM.
IT MAY SEEM
A DREAM
OR SCHEME
OF LIFE TO BE
FOR YOU AND ME
WAS YESTERYEAR
WHEN I SHED MANY A TEAR
SO, I FEAR.
I LOVE.
I CRY.
I SMILE.
I LAUGH.
WE LIVE AS PEOPLE WHO ARE ONE,
ONE HUMAN BEING SPECIES OF THE EARTH
UNDER THE SUN, THE MOON, THE STARS
OF BIRTH.
WE ARE BORN, WE LIVE, WE DIE
I SIGH.
NO MORE WARS,
NO MORE LIES,
LET’S LEARN TO CARE,
TO BE AWARE,
OF LOVE,
OF PEACE,
OF UNDERSTANDING,
TO SHARE,
TO CARE
ABOUT HUMANITY,
HOW WE LIVE,
TO GIVE,
TO RECEIVE.
I USED TO THINK WE WERE ALL GOOD
AS WE SHOULD
BE, TO TREAT HUMANITY
GOOD.
I BELIEVE I CAN WALK AWAY
FROM A TOXIC DAY
OF UNPLEASNT ADVENTURES OF THE YEAR
BUT SHED A TEAR.
‘CAUSE LIFE IS REAL AND WITH ALL THE EMOTIONS OF HUMANITY
“TO BE IS NOT TO BE THAT IS THE QUESTION”
AS WRITTEN BY A FAMOUS AUTHOR OF VERY LONG AGO,
IT IS STILL THE QUESTION,
TODAY HOW IT RELATES IS QUITE THE SAME,
TO BE TAME OR TO BE LAME,
I BELIEVE IT IS AN UPENDED QUESTION OF THE LIGHT OR DARK
CONTINUOUS QUESTION OF SORTS
OF HOW ONE BELIEVES GO FORTH
WITH TIME AND SPACE
OF CHANTILLY LACE
OR DARK NIGHTS OF THE SOUL,
TEACHING US TO BE BOLD.
SO, HOLD ON TO YOURSELF,
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF,
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
WE LIVE AS PEOPLE WHO ARE ONE,
ONE HUMAN BEING SPECIES OF THE EARTH
UNDER THE SUN, THE MOON, THE STARS
OF BIRTH
WE ARE BORN, WE LIVE, WE DIE
I SIGH,
NO MORE WARS.
NO MORE LIES,
LET’S LEARN TO CARE
TO BE AWARE.

Hugs from Heaven, they feel so sweet
A warm energetic connection that will knock you off your feet
Tune in and listen, look around you’ll be surprised
Your heart bleeds love, passion & desire from the skies
All this love can be seen right in your eyes 🤍🦋

My poem has read, last in line…
“I have no worth in mine own eye”.
Weather burned me-early age to start,
Cannot I see the lie of this part?
…And even think to give love a try
Before bitter I sink to death and die?
For if I have not to respect myself,
How can I ever comfort anyone else?
No matter the cause-No matter the reason
I need not to know-Just believe new season!
Have not I to grow 45 years old?
For that is what turned me 2 days ago…
If 40 years old I was at age 12,
Then where now alive am I on the shelf?
Need not to know that either-Rather good to exist…
Regardless of child-hood lost and missed.
Feelings of mine-I think matter not,
When I can still find a caring/sharing spot.
Nor how, I don’t know-But feel love in the air,
Though I’ll not steal it-belonging to someone fair.
For if this gift I ever can find,
I’ll no longer be pissed-When good is mine!
Forgetting the past-a job easily not done
When 40 years masked-this hatred was dumb!
Good people say I matter, every life there is
Can no longer get sadder-Because Optimism lives!
Many lessons learned, to build my neighbor up,
As when I care for mine own self…
Love overflows-and clean is the cup!

Thank You The Unsealed!!!

9-4-24

Dear Unsealers,

I hope that everyone’s having a wonderful Labor Day weekend.

As September begins, I can’t help but feel wistful as the summer season is fast coming to a close, especially after spending this weekend in both Newport and Providence, Rhode Island.

But the summer vibe is still strong as this new month begins.
Nine months have come; four months are left to go in this year.

It may be a day late, but it’s never too late to welcome in a new month. As I do so here…

Try to remember, this kind of September
30 new days are here to stay

A month of transition
As the last days of summer glisten
With a chill in the early morning air
Autumn is waiting to be welcomed in

From Newport’s idyllic shores to NYC’s towering skies
All of the possibilities exist
The days are yearning to be filled with joy

As the BER months begin
There are 120 days or so, left in 2024

One pauses to wonder….
Where did all the months go?!

Kindness can go a long way when it comes from someone’s heart. It’s the small, everyday gestures that count. The simple things such as reminding stranger to turn off their headlights so their battery would not drain. Doesn’t matter what you say or what you do. Looking out for others when you least expect it. You don’t know what you need until you know it.
Life is what you make it. Either easy peasy lemon squeezy or stresssy depressy lemon zesty. So you keep on trying to find the answer to make it through the day because when you wake up in the morning it’s another day and you start anew. It’s the helping hand of kindness that lifts you up when you need it. Now, you are shaking from the innocent hands of satisfaction. The cure and the answer to happiness. When you are grateful for someone in your life, who is your enhancement. After all that’s said you done, it would suck if no one came to your rescue when those tears rush down your face turn to grey shadow.

Without any hope of redemption, I will be waiting to be found. For what you didn’t give the dearest one will come around out of kindness. So, that way you are not in the dumps with people tearing up your funds. All I know is money don’t buy you diamonds just to be a sponge little dummy.You wont get out of-side as long as you get up in this trap. Because of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
And at the same time you gotta be praying for the pain to go away. Anything you want in life will be worth it. You gotta be patient because there is a better way. Show kindness don’t hurt people that you love because they want to be in your set. Don’t lie and cheat instead gain their trust. Be thankful for who you have for your rock of support. This gift is all I ever wanted.
And it’s a lot to be grateful for I know that life is so hard. So keep your head up and keep your head up and have faith that things will work out.

Scars that mark my body from the wars that I have won,
Receipts from every battle without bullets or a gun
Wounds no longer open, getting stronger as they healed,
Remnants of the way I used my body as a shield
Crevices and cracks I once thought showed me to be weak,
The physical manifestation of what happens when you don’t speak
With age and time comes wisdom and a better sense of self
An understanding that my body is the bank of my life’s wealth

I have depth.

There is a sea of unknown feet that no one has ever managed to travel down completely without abandoning ship.
The weight gets too heavy and that beautiful shore up the line seems easier and more ideal to dissect.
I am a whirlwind of experience and exploration.
A funnel that’s full of broken pieces of homes and shattered picture frames, flying chaotically through the darkness.

But I am also that Sunday blueberry pie your grandma baked and is resting by the window.
Decadent, filling and full of love. The warmth of a soothing bite that makes you tear up and smile.

I’m the best bite you’ll ever taste and sharpest piece of glass you’ll ever feel.

Life is certainly premeditated, at least mine is. I’m sure humans are walking this planet that lack a soul, maybe by never having one at biological birth, or losing it somewhere along the way. The details of others’ destined paths I’m not certain. I’m hardly certain of my own.
I’ve known and fully believed for many years, that my soul chose this human life for a reason, or even a few of them. I’m also open to the heavy possibility of there being multiple versions of myself living all at once; past, present, and future Corts in every dimension. So basically endless Corts through the fibers of spacetime. I count on their guidance and keep them in the loop of my life hoping it keeps me connected to them.
This one though, this dimension and this Universe, This is the one I’m in and I know there’s a reason, a beneficial purpose. I have run into some cute, little, star-dusted reminders that I am only partially from this Earth in this human journey that I’ve Chosen.
It’s ridiculous to think that my most recent cosmic coincidence came from a potential jewelry idea. It clicked that my kid’s zodiac signs are my BIG 3. It took me almost 8 years to notice because I haven’t always been aware of what my big three were. It wasn’t until these last few years that I started diving deeper into my spirituality to express and avenge my higher self.
I’ve always been in tune with myself and with the little people I made and introduced to Earth. I know they are meant for me, as I am for them. Through loving and guiding them, I can love and guide the little Cort that’s in all of them, healing the one that’s in me.

*****

~ Arriving in the Winter, a fortnight late on the middlemost day of February, I am an Aquarius Sun. Boldly communicative and rational. Deep-thinking and creative, Aquarians are natural-born unconventional artists. With that comes stubborn independence and a lack of impulse control. That small description perfectly sums up not only myself but my oldest son. Colt was also two weeks late, landing his arrival at the end of January, making him too, an Aquarius Sun. Our brains are wired almost identically. He struggles and wanders the exact way I did. This kid and I have been soul-bonded since my blood became his which is why it’s always made sense we shared this sign. Our ponders come with purpose and our wanders aren’t mindless, we are very much in our mind. So deep, we leave our bodies behind. We’re often misunderstood and criticized, it’s hard to be patient with us from the outside. I can be his voice when he can’t find the words to be sure he’s taken seriously. And assure him that his mind works with his quirks.
~ I had my first two kids in the same place I was born. Technically, moved a little and rebuilt but, under the same set of stars. Being born under those stars that cold February morning makes me a Taurus Rising. That implies that I’m determined as a Taurus because I come off calm and together (not always the case). It supports my Aquarian talents when it comes to art and leadership, suggesting I try to bring harmony and understanding to conflict. My first was an emergency surgery, so my second needed to be a scheduled one. I picked the furthest date possible; my first was overdue and turned out perfect. Repeat, please. That made me a week and a half past due. I was only 20, star placement hadn’t even crossed my mind. Having Lakyn Reid at the end of April made him my Taurus Sun son. He is talkative, clever, and emotionally determined, but also headstrong and stubborn. He’s always moved at his own pace and won’t be bothered by anything outside of his interest. It’s interesting that my Lake and I share this particular sign in this relation. My ego has been starved and fed on a fluctuating scale throughout my human walk, but my appearance has always been my most perceivable quality, good and bad. When my blood became his, he became another version of me. He could be my clone, we are identical. He’s got the quick wit and vast sense of humor I cultivated, that kept me likable when my appearance couldn’t. He will struggle and thrive at the hands of his appearance, all I can do is help him love himself sooner than I did.
~ The Waning Cresent moon was high and mighty that morning and ensured that I was blessed with a Sagittarius Moon placement. The set stage for my emotions and the door to my intuition; my Sag Moon is responsible for my narrowly optimistic outlook and my yearning for the freedom to take wonderous adventures in search of something deeper, to find a fulfilling purpose… I was medically and legally infertile when my blood became Korbyns. By my third, I was confident in my power to start my child’s life when I wanted them out of me and our daughter wasn’t much different. Arriving the first week of December, Korbyn Teal locked in her Sagittarius Sun with plenty of lag room all around. She’s loving, energetic, and curious. She’s so smart and loves to learn, always asking questions, and always looking for answers. This girl is full of spunk and confidence in a way I never was. She will speak up when I didn’t. Learn and grow in a way I couldn’t mentally or physically. I can support her and give her the tools to be great and do great things by just being her.

*****
I’m not sure if this is common, maybe other parents can relate. I can’t take credit because it was unintentional on my part. The Universe, however, knew exactly what it was doing. This creative twist shows me that I’m on course and things have always been going exactly as they’re supposed to.