Activity
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bfelix shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 6 hours, 52 minutes agoThe things we survive don’t make us the same
bfelixI used to think pain was a language we all spoke the same.
But then I met people who wore my wounds like armor, while I tried to turn mine into wings.
We had the same bruises in different places. The same stories told in different voices. We both knew the sound of a door slamming that wasn’t just a door but a warning. We both knew the silence that followed too well, the kind that didn’t mean peace, but punishment. And still, they walked out harder, sharper, more closed. I walked out with my palms open, hoping to catch light or rain or anything that felt like softness.
It’s wild how two people can survive the same fire and carry the heat in completely different ways. Some become flame themselves, burning anything that gets too close. Others spend the rest of their lives flinching at the smallest spark. I think about this a lot. How survival isn’t a shared destination but a thousand separate roads paved with choices, coping, timing, and whatever scraps of love we were lucky enough to find.
I used to believe trauma molded us like clay. That it pressed its fingers into us and that’s why we cracked the way we did. But maybe that’s only part of the truth. Maybe trauma is more like a pile of raw materials dumped at your feet. Grief like steel. Loneliness like stone. Rage like rope. You don’t choose the pile, but you do decide what to build. Some build prisons. Some build walls. Some build bridges to a self they’ve never met before.
For a long time, I tried to build silence. I thought if I didn’t speak about it, it would stop growing. But pain doesn’t work that way. Pain is a seed. If you don’t name it, it grows anyway, just deeper and darker, winding through your bloodline, waiting to bloom in someone else. I learned that the hard way.
Motherhood cracked something open in me that I didn’t even know was sealed shut. I remember holding my son for the first time and suddenly realizing that I wasn’t just responsible for his body, but for his story. His emotional blueprint. His inner voice. His sense of safety in the world. And it hit me like a wave I didn’t see coming. Everything I hadn’t healed might one day echo through him. Not because I wanted it to, but because unspoken pain finds its way. Always.
And that terrified me.
It also gave me purpose.
Now, when I choose to sit with my hurt instead of numbing it, I’m not just doing it for me. I’m doing it so my child doesn’t have to carry what was never his. I’m doing it so that love can feel like a resting place and not a battlefield. I’m doing it because someone in every bloodline has to decide that the story changes here.
And still, I wonder. Was this always the path? Was there a version of me, already written, already waiting? Or did I fight my way into her? Did I dig her out with every boundary I set, every truth I spoke, every time I looked my past in the face and said, I’m not going to let you win?
Sometimes I feel like my life has always been on the edge of something. On the edge of becoming. On the edge of breaking. Like I’ve been holding the pen with shaking hands, trying to write my name over a story that began before I ever had a voice. I think that’s what reclaiming your life really means. Not erasing what happened, but choosing how it’s remembered. How it’s used. How it ends.
Pain doesn’t make us the same. Neither does survival. I have seen people crumble under the weight of things I carried in silence. I have watched people laugh with joy after surviving storms that would’ve leveled me. There’s no ranking of pain, no chart for resilience. Only choices. Only outcomes. Only who we become after the fire.
I no longer look for meaning in the things that hurt me. Some things just hurt. But I do believe in the meaning I can create because I lived through them. I believe in turning pain into language. Into softness. Into understanding. Into legacy.
So no, the things we survive don’t make us the same.
But maybe that’s the point.
Maybe survival is the beginning of art. The place where we each pick up our broken pieces and say, this is what I’m making out of mine.
And maybe someone else will see it and think, I didn’t know you could build something beautiful out of that.
And maybe that’s how we save each other. -
Darnel LaFrance shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 1 days, 8 hours agosome of you
yaisa’s husbandare your bodies
you are your skin
you are your thoughts and ideas
all the structure that comes with iti am in my body
i am in my skin
i have thoughts and ideas
all the chaos that comes with me -
Matthew Jablonsky shared a letter in the
Surviving Addiction group 1 days, 23 hours agoThe Gamble
Matthew L JablonskyWe may not do scratch-offs,
or play the “Pick 5”.
But every addict is a gambler,
Gambling with their lives.There’s no chips involved,
No minimum bet.
We play with our souls,
We wage our regret.Will this be the bag,
that gets you high?
Or is this the time,
you finally die?Time with your loved ones,
is in the pot.
Maybe you’ll win,
with this next shot!A free trip to jail,
for the rest of your life!
Just take a chance,
and roll the dice!Your family will leave,
unless you end this charade.
Ten to one?
I like those odds!So we take another hit,
we do another line.
“I bet they won’t leave,
just like last time.”Will I get an empty bag?
Will the rocks be salt?
Even if you lose,
It’s never your fault.The game was rigged!
The dealer’s a liar!
It’s all on them,
if you don’t get higher.Whether its cards in your hand,
or a needle in your vein,
we all find something,
that takes away the pain.There are no winners,
when you play with drugs and booze.
But gamblers don’t gamble to win,
Gamblers gamble to lose.“The Gamble”
-Matty Jablonsky -
Samantha Anthony shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 2 days, 12 hours ago"Navigating the Fog of Confusion"
Samantha AnthonyDear Life,
I need your help. Lately, I’ve been feeling so confused that I struggle to explain it. Is there something wrong with me that I can’t see? I can stay motivated physically and mentally, but my mind feels blank. How can I move past the smoke and mirrors that people say surround me? Most of the time, all I see is my routine, my possessions, and my kids; nothing else seems to matter. I often feel backed into a corner when faced with questions, and I don’t know how to respond. I’m unsure how to process anything, work on what’s important, confront issues, or do things as a simple person would.
People ask me, “Is that all you want? Is it to do the same thing every day and be alone?” I’ve told myself that I crave company, but I’m uncertain if I can trust anyone ever again. I keep comparing potential partners to my past experiences, and it feels as if my negative thoughts replay painful memories, leaving me scared. Why can’t you lift this block from my mind and help me discover what I truly want? Why didn’t you give me the ability to recognize my mistakes and understand that my actions can hurt others? Please help me stop along the way before it’s too late.
I don’t want to be alone anymore. I realize that I’ve built walls around trust because of you, and I find myself yelling in my mind that nobody cares about me. So, why should I do things for others? I know you’ve been observing everything we do, but I wonder where you were when I was growing up. If the right things had been instilled in us, perhaps we could have made better choices and changed our futures. But now I wonder if it’s too late.
Can you help me? I don’t want to lose everything I’ve built and start over. I want my partner to understand that I’m here and not going anywhere. I’m ready to fix things so that you can have what you’ve always wanted. Do you hear me now, my mind?
Sincerely yours,
Your Body-
Your honesty and vulnerability are incredibly powerful. It takes courage to confront these feelings, and that’s a huge first step. You’re already showing strength by acknowledging your struggles and desire for change. Finding your way through this confusion is possible. Consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor – they can p…read more
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Samantha Anthony shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 5 days, 13 hours ago"A Blanket of Solitude: A Heart's Search for Comfort"
Samantha AnthonyA woman sits with a blanket to bear. She sits and sighs, wondering if the depression is ever going to end. She ran out of her medicine and had no way to replace it. Her impacting bubbles escaped her unsettling mind. She couldn’t figure out how to keep everything going around her in check. As the space fills with time, she asks herself many questions and writes down ideas, but the more she tries, the more she feels like everything has been tried and worn out with no one listening and no one wants to find a way to come together to help.
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It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly difficult time, and it takes immense courage to acknowledge that. Please know you’re not alone, and your feelings are valid. Reaching out for help is a powerful first step. There are resources available to replenish your medication and support you through this. Don’t give up hope; brighter days…read more
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Samantha Anthony shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 6 days, 18 hours ago"Are You Really Here?"
Samantha AnthonyDear Mental Health,
I wanted to reach out and ask, “Do you exist?” Growing up, I experienced difficulties in school, and I understand that not everyone grasps things right away. But why did you have to bring us the gift of different emotions?
I know that these illnesses, as you refer to them, affect everyone, but do they come in different categories? Are they randomly assigned to each person out there? These are questions I’m eager to understand, but perhaps that’s the mystery, isn’t it? Why are some of us chosen to face these challenges? I never asked for them, and I’ve always wondered if I could have been given different conditions. Perhaps that would have led to a different life for me—who knows?
Thank you for considering my thoughts.
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Your questions reflect a deep and thoughtful exploration of mental health. It’s understandable to question the complexities of emotions and challenges. Mental health conditions aren’t “gifts” or randomly assigned; rather, they’re intricate interactions of genetics, environment, and life experiences. While there are different categories, each…read more
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Samantha Anthony shared a letter in the
Introductions, Icebreakers and Prompts group 6 days, 19 hours agoChecking In: A Weekend Hello to the Unsealed Community
Samantha AnthonyHello everyone in the Unsealed community! I just wanted to check in and say hello. I hope you’re all doing well, and I wish all the dads a wonderful Father’s Day weekend.
Today is going alright so far. My husband is playing games on his PlayStation, and my cat is hiding in a cool spot, lounging on a pair of shoes. As for me, I’ve been cleaning out my laptop, sticking to my usual coffee routine this morning, and deciding whether to work on some more projects or take a break today.
With the heat wave we’ve been enduring this month, I could use a break. Anyway, I hope everyone stays safe this weekend and takes care!
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It’s wonderful to hear from you and see such a peaceful morning unfolding! Your day sounds lovely – a blend of productive tasks and relaxing moments. That sounds like the perfect balance. Enjoy your weekend, and I hope the heat wave eases up soon. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!
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Samantha Anthony shared a letter in the
Surviving Addiction group 1 weeks agoA Mosaic of Strength
Samantha AnthonyIn the bustling city of Huntington, Amanda had always felt like an outsider, a piece that never quite fit into the puzzle of life. Surviving a tumultuous childhood marked by trauma, her journey began with the heavy weight of her past. Experiences of abuse and betrayal had woven a complex tapestry of PTSD, anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and oppositional defiant disorder into her daily existence.
Amanda was a survivor; her resilience was forged in the fires of her struggles. After each nightmare she faced, she would find herself in therapy, seeking to untangle the knots of her pain. Her therapist, Dr. Lewis, a compassionate and wise woman, became her guiding star. Together, they explored the darkest corners of Amanda’s mind, shedding light on the shadows that loomed large.
One day, while sitting in Dr. Lewis’s office, Amanda recounted a recent episode of overwhelming anxiety that had left her paralyzed. As tears spilled down her cheeks, she expressed the fear of her past overshadowing her future. Dr. Lewis listened intently, then gently encouraged her to turn her pain into power. “You have a story worth telling. Your experiences can inspire others,” she said.
Motivated by their conversation, Amanda decided to channel her emotions into writing. She began to craft a memoir, narrating her struggles with honesty and vulnerability. Words poured from her heart, each sentence a step towards healing. As she wrote, she found solace, and with each chapter, the weight of her past began to lift.
Gradually, she built a community, connecting with others who faced similar battles through support groups. There, Amanda met Carol, a fellow survivor whose laughter was infectious despite her scars. The bond they formed allowed Amanda to glimpse hope in the eyes of another. Through sharing their stories, they discovered the strength of standing together, breaking the silence that had long surrounded them.
Amanda also found comfort in creativity, immersing herself in painting. With every brushstroke, she transformed her chaos into color, creating vibrant images that represented her journey. She titled her pieces “Mosaics of Strength,” each one a testament to resilience and beauty rising from brokenness. Her art caught the attention of a local gallery, leading to her first exhibition, where she showcased both her paintings and readings from her memoir.
On the night of the opening, Amanda stood in front of a gathering of friends, family, and strangers, her heart racing. As she read excerpts from her book, her voice trembled but grew more confident with each word. The audience listened intently, moved by her honesty and courage. By the end, tears glistened in their eyes, and applause erupted, filling the room like a warm embrace.
Despite the challenges that lay ahead, Amanda felt empowered. She understood that healing was not linear, and there would still be difficult days filled with anxiety or depressive episodes. But now, she had a toolkit—therapy, art, and a supportive community to lean on.
As she glanced around the room, she realized that she was not just a survivor of her past; she had become a beacon of hope for others. Amanda learned to embrace her journey, celebrating her survival with every step forward—a mosaic of strength, uniquely beautiful in its imperfections. With a heart full of hope and a voice to share, she reminded others that it’s okay to seek help, to share their stories, and to believe in the possibility of brighter days.
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Amanda’s journey is a testament to the incredible resilience of the human spirit. Her transformation from a survivor burdened by trauma to a beacon of hope for others is truly inspiring. Her courage in sharing her story and her creative expression through art are powerful examples of healing and empowerment. Amanda’s story shows us that even in…read more
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Paige Walden shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 1 weeks, 2 days agoIn Absentia
Paige WaldenLet it burn in your throat.
The emotions from your heart, rising like a flood, and pushing to the surface,
threatening to break the dam behind your eyes, a release of flowing tears.But the dam holds, forged of learned silence— a wall built by the hundred times your voice found no echo, no gentle hand to meet its reach.
What’s the use of a flood when the world’s ears are stone, its eyes, a blank stare?So you let it burn, this defeated truth, a scalding current trapped behind your teeth.
It twists, while your mind raises a quiet question: why does caring cost so much, when it lands on nothing?And the fallout?
A hollow hum where laughter used to be, a heart that learns to beat softer, to guard its own light, because sharing only dims it.And so the fire stays, cemented, a constant, private ache— a monument to what was never heard.
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Your words resonate with a powerful truth about the pain of unspoken emotions. It takes immense strength to hold back a flood of feeling, especially when met with silence. But remember, your feelings are valid, and your inner fire is a testament to your capacity for deep caring. Finding the right audience, one that truly hears and validates…read more
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Paige Walden shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 1 weeks, 3 days agoPaige, Are You There?
Paige WaldenA deep current runs, unseen, yet always felt, beneath the calm surface, where dark secrets dwell.
A fading light, a choice once made, the crushing weight of what was, now laid bare for me. A quiet struggle with a shadow’s rise, on a stage where eyes meet the skies. A constant hum of endless need, Questions linger, like seeds to breed. The fragile shield, nearly worn through, a blessing turned to burden’s hue.Then, a sudden chill in a shared space.
A word like a stone cast into the waters.
The bright colors of belief now muted.
A question hangs, unheard: Is this real?
And so the mind gently retreats, a soft step back, drifting motion, no turning back.
With the body present, moving throughout the day, while consciousness finds its own distant shore a walk to a necessary vanishing, a breath of nothing.-
Your poem beautifully captures the internal struggle between light and shadow, a journey many of us undertake. The imagery of fading light and a worn shield speaks to the vulnerability and strength inherent in facing difficult truths. While the ending depicts retreat, it also suggests a necessary pause, a moment of self-reflection that precedes…read more
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Heather shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 1 weeks, 3 days agoOne's Skin Tone
HeatherUnderneath this skin
lies uncertainty wanting clarity
fear to put one step in front
sabotaging energy
love from own heartbeat
overload of anxieties
overwhelming sensation
of healing clogged poresUnderneath all the wounds
lies beauty in progress
strength in training
courage in action
love in veins
clarity in pores-
That’s a powerful expression of the internal struggle we all face sometimes. Your words beautifully capture the journey from uncertainty and fear to strength and self-love. It’s inspiring to see you acknowledge the beauty in the process of healing. Keep moving forward – your courage is evident, and the clarity you seek is within reach. You’ve got this!
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Heather shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 1 weeks, 3 days agoHealing Headache
HeatherOh brain
why must you
feel this pain
I try to heal
the cause root
even when its
been a long commutewhy must you
choose to be blue
when it leaves
for an overcast
type of moodI wish you
would simply calm
when gently rested
on my palm-
Your dedication to healing is truly admirable. It takes courage to confront inner struggles, and your persistence shows great strength. Remember that healing is a journey, not a race. Be patient with yourself, celebrate small victories, and know that brighter days are ahead. Your brain deserves your kindness and understanding, and with time and…read more
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Samantha Anthony shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 2 weeks, 1 days agoA Man's Mental Health Struggles
Samantha AnthonyThis is a story about a man who wants to live a simple life without any complications. From what I have observed, he enjoys playing games, watching TV, and getting high from his medication. However, when it comes to taking care of the house or resolving issues, he prefers to do everything his own way. He is unwilling to listen to others’ thoughts or opinions and rarely allows anyone to have a voice.
What doesn’t make sense is that he claims he only wants someone who will work and bring money into the household. It seems he wants everything handed to him without giving anything back in return. He believes that money is the key to making relationships work. Based on what I am reporting, do you think he truly wants to be with someone? In what you read, do you honestly think he really has mental issues, or is he actually happy with what he has chosen? How can you go into determining those struggles when you have them yourself?
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It’s understandable to question his intentions and well-being. His actions and beliefs seem contradictory, suggesting a potential disconnect between his stated desires and his behavior. He may be struggling with underlying issues that affect his relationships and ability to connect meaningfully with others. Focusing on what he *says* versus…read more
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Samantha Anthony shared a letter in the
Introductions, Icebreakers and Prompts group 2 weeks, 1 days agoA New Course Of Choices
Samantha AnthonyHello, writing community. I wanted to introduce myself. I’m a single mother of three kids: two daughters, aged 15 and 10, and a son who would have turned 3 this year, but sadly, he passed away four years ago.
Since I got remarried in 2022, I haven’t accomplished much in my life. I’ve been trying to re-enter the workforce after losing my most recent job due to medical issues and not having a car at the moment. I’ve recently been looking for work-from-home jobs because I’ve been advised that, given my current circumstances, I can only pursue positions that allow me to work at a desk or from home.
I am capable of doing computer work, cleaning houses, babysitting, or caring for pets. However, without a car, it has been challenging to find jobs elsewhere.
Currently, I receive a disability check and live with several conditions, including ADHD, PTSD, ODD, BPD, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. Additionally, I suffer from IBS, GERD, gastritis, sciatica, stress fractures, COPD, bradycardia, and sinus arrhythmia. My life can be complicated, but I do my best to function daily, even though I’m 35 and not as active as I would like to be.
I’m now back in the world, looking for something new. If you’d like to get to know me or comment on my material, feel free to message me anytime.-
Your resilience and strength in the face of such challenges are truly inspiring. It’s wonderful that you’re actively seeking new opportunities and focusing on your goals. Your skills and experience are valuable assets, and with your determination, you’ll find the perfect work-from-home position that suits your needs and allows you to thrive.…read more
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Heather shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 2 weeks, 4 days agoMen's Mental Health
HeatherYou, my sir.
Yes, you.
There’s going to be hard days.
Even easy days.
You, the person reading this,
Has the opportunity to make
The day a great one.You, my sir.
Yes, you.
Of course it’s going
To be full of ups & downs.
That’s the beauty of life.It’s your duty as a human
To break the negative branches
And build such glory
From the leftover twigs.You, my sir.
Yes, you.
I believe in you.
I see you.
I love you.-
Aww this is so loving and nurturing and empowering. I love how you see the power each of us have over our own peace and our own lives. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed. <3 Lauren
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Thank you for such feedback. Men’s mental health IS health. We as a society need to recognize such.
This community has been such inspiration. Such motivation. & such clarity for my internal human who loved writing in high school. She’s FINALLY feeling like she’s been accepted. Been heard. Been worth someone’s time.
This community is my virtual…read more
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Cortney Kipfmiller valle shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 3 weeks, 5 days agoOvercoming anxiety and depression
Cortney kipfmiller valle earth AngelHello there sunshines, I am here with some great news you can naturally overcome depression and anxiety. The bible teaches us how to naturally balance the positive and negative emotions in our lives. It’s ok at the darkest moments In Our lives to go to the doctor and get the help needed at that moment, he made doctors for a reason. What’s not okay is to rely on that medication to fix al of your childhood and adult relationship traumas. God has walked me through deliverance and a Beautiful way to enjoy life, focus on self love and hear his voice and tune out the world. Here are some tips on how to live life to the best of your ability on a budget. First find a job that u enjoy not have to show up to everyday ,but want to show up to and take pride in your work daily. Second find an area where just u and God can bear each other’s voices. God showed me and my sister in Christ this past year so many ways to see and appreciate his beauty from door dashing, in multi states ,to visiting museums and botanical gardens, to Learning about plants animals and history and it was a great stress reliever. Everyday for the past year doordash paid for our museum trips ,air b and b , and food and gas as we traveled America. We stayed in the tri state area and everything was within four hours of home.Our daily budget for spending was 20.00 most of the time it ended up under that price range. The third thing God helped me with to not be stressed and depressed was laying all of life’s problems at his feet and he gives us rest as it states in scripture. Picture yourself with one carryon bag then another suitcase and before u know it your carrying the entire planes luggage. This analogy is our lives we tend to worry and fear and pickup baggage that doesn’t belong to us. Cast your cares upon him and he will give u rest Amen. The fourth way to get rid of anxiety and depression is by using sensory things from your environment. This consist of smelling hearing seeing tasting and touching. I find for me nature walks running waterfalls and rivers,coloring on sidewalks with chalk, photographing nature and just being youself in general, traveling to local places, interacting with animals both tame and wild, and social distancing when needed work best. When noises around us are loud and overbearing putting on headphones and listening to something encouraging helps. Get in the habit of finding the daily verse that speaks life and encouragement into your soul and live out your purpose, 💓 u are loved I pray this helps the mass numbers and you can get peace in your hearts and enjoy your life much love and light 🕯️
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I love all this advice! It is so true. Lean into the people, place and situations that make you feel, loved, passionate, calm of joyful. I hope you continue on your healing journey and continue to find ways to soak up all the joy life has to offer. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed. <3 Lauren
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Maddie McCoy shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 4 weeks agoAn Open Letter to God
MaddieDear Lord,
We’ve had a lot of talks lately. Some good, some not so good. I’ve prayed for a couple ambulances and high schoolers and the parents for the infants at my school.
I’ve prayed for less anger, more sleep, less anxiety about the world. For the United States, for Gaza, for Syria and Lebanon and Yemen and the Congo…
For guidance.
I’m not the best of Jews, I know that. I don’t eat kosher like I should, I often forget my nightly prayers, I work on the sabbath. I know I’m not the best.
I try. I fast and I repent and I want to learn more about you Lord. I feel like the older I get, that I feel closer to you. I pray to you in good and in bad times. Our relationship has its valleys and mountains but I know you better. You’ve always known me though.
There’s a lot of suffering in the world. Time is marching backwards underneath my feet and I feel like I cannot make the world stand still. Or continue the original path or rotation. I pray in the hopes that you will be able to guide the right people to the right paths soon. Existence is a form of resistance, right?
Poetry feels a lot like prayer. I take a pen to my carotid artery and bleed all over these little letters, in hopes that it will string together coherent words. Using a young language to spill these feelings that I’m not quite sure have names. I pour it all out, I step back, and realize the feeling is duller now that it’s no longer in me.
That’s what prayer feels like to me.
I don’t know why, Lord, you made me this way. I know there must be a reason, there’s always a reason but I cannot see it. And I want to see it. I know you don’t make mistakes but— why do I feel like I am one?
I don’t feel like a good sister, a good friend, a good daughter, a good lover. I feel like I’m selfish. Spoiled. I demand too much. Give too little. A hypocrite. A liar.
Sometimes I don’t feel human. I’m so angry sometimes, Lord, that I just want to scream!!
Sometimes I just wanna grab someone and slap the living shit out of them. I wanna make someone feel as horrible as I do. I want them to feel every punch, kick, stab, slice, grope and rape that I have experienced. Then I feel horrible for wishing this fate on a nonexistent person and I pray for forgiveness. I know it’s an intrusive thought, I know I’d never do such a thing. But it kills me when I think about it.
There are times that I wanna go into an empty field and just scream into it. Sob as hard as I want for as long as I want. No one to eavesdrop, no one to watch. Just lose it fully for once.
I need that.
I’ve prayed to you about some things that I didn’t mean. I prayed to die many times. I know you know I didn’t mean that, which is why I’m still here.
I’ve prayed why my boyfriend doesn’t love me. I know he does, I just wish I could feel it like I know it. He adores me. He loves me. I need a little help remembering that Lord. If you have the time to spare, I’d greatly appreciate that.
I think- I think I struggle to believe I can be loved. Years of hurt can do that to a person. I try so hard to make sure those I love never feel the way I felt. Unlovable. Broken. No longer human. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a relationship outside of my childhood best friends that made me feel like a person.
When my boyfriend and I started dating it felt like someone had reignited a previously stamped out candle. Now the wick is burning but there’s no wax to cling to. I am so fucking lonely G-d. If you ever have a spare moment, enter my dreams and remind me that I am not alone. Remind me of my partner, my brother, my friends. Remind me of the job I love, the life I’ve chosen, the skills I possess. You’ve got bigger things to worry about than me, but I’d like to not be forgotten. Don’t forget to remember me in that whirlwind of human chaos you’ve come to know.
I know that I just have to grit and bear some of it like a big girl. I know that I have to fight. But I— I don’t have a lot of fight in me right now.
So Lord, if you could do this for me, I’d greatly appreciate it. If you could instill in me the need to fight, the need to claw my way out, I will claw my way out.
Amen,
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Aww Maddie. You are loved and you are sooo lovable. You are not selfish. You are supposed to put yourself first. That’s healthy and part of self-care. You are a wonderful sister, partner etc. I know this just based on the simple fact that you are thinking about it in the first place. I want to give you the biggest hug. Also, if you want to go out…read more
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kiki pape shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 1 months agoHot Girls Have Anxiety: The Mentally-Ill Girl Aesthetic How Internet Feminism Turned Internalized Pain into a Marketable Aesthetic
kiki papeIt’s okay not to be okay.
This phrase, now ubiquitous across social media, has become a comfortable mantra for those who struggle with mental health. It seems like a sweet reminder, a gentle nudge to embrace our imperfections and struggles. But in reality, it is much darker–an empty catchphrase hacked by an influencer-driven culture that profits off emotional labor and personal trauma. The rise of the Mentally Ill Girl aesthetic” has transformed mental health struggles from personal battles into visual trends, “personality trait quizzes” to talk about with friends, and worse, marketable commodities. This essay will explore the rise of the “mentally ill girl aesthetic” and the way it reflects the troubling commodification of mental health in the age of social media. What started as an expression of vulnerability has been twisted into a performative, profit-driven identity–one that trivializes mental illness, turning real pain into an aesthetic to be consumed.
My first personal introduction to mental health came when I was sixteen, during a moment that still feels absurd in retrospect. At my high school, the same girl who once whispered insults behind people’s backs was suddenly leading a campaign for “mental health awareness.” They filmed a promotional video–reminiscent of Mean Girls– for a schoolwide “mental health week,” complete with Pinterest-worthy quotes, trendy but shallow self-care advice, and mindfulness tips pulled from the first page of Google. What was meant to be a safe, inclusive space felt like a performance. Surrounded by classmates who suddenly wore their trauma like their accessories. The exact ways where breakdowns were once a source of gossip were now lined with pastel posters reminding us to “Just breathe” and “Be kind.” Something didn’t feel right; it wasn’t that mental health was finally being discussed. The language was curated and sanitized. The faces behind the campaign had slogans of confessed surface-level experiences of mental health issues and missing themselves without the proper information. Making others who suffer so profoundly feel even more alone.
That moment was not only the first exposure but also an understanding of the commodification of the struggle. It was mental health awareness without the mess, the nuance, or the accountability. It was activism as an aesthetic, where vulnerability was encouraged only if it was pretty, palatable, and Instagrammable. What I witnessed in the High school hallway has since exploded into a digital phenomenon: influencers crying on TikTok between sponsored posts, the glamorization of trauma on shows like Euphoria, and a generation that learned to self-diagnose to feel seen in a world that rewards performative pain.
I intend to unpack the cultural machinery behind the Mentally Ill Girl archetype by examining media theory, internet feminism, and real-world pain.
When the hit HBO Max show Euphoria aired, I remember watching it with a strange mix of awe and discomfort. The visuals were nothing I had ever seen; the soundtrack played repeatedly on my phone, and the characters, especially Rue, felt painfully honest. But what was so unsettling about the show wasn’t just what was on the screen but how everyone around me responded. Friends began to post quotes from the show, filming with glitter tears and romanticizing the numbness. Some related sincerely, and that made sense. But others seemed to perform their sadness like a trend, slipping into archetypes they hadn’t lived but wanted to wear. It was as if vulnerability had become fashionable, and “being broken” had been rebranded as edgy.
I saw it in myself as well. There were moments I caught reflection, half asleep, mascara smudged, and hadn’t left my bed, and thought, I look like I am in Euphoria. I don’t look tired or need help, but I look cinematic. I was disturbed by my realization: we sought aesthetics instead of healing. Instead of talking about our pain, we were trying to make it palatable. That is the danger of the Mentally Ill Girl Aesthetic” –it blurs the line between expression and limitation, between lived experience and performative identity.
In the age of participatory media and influencer capitalism, the rise of the Mentally Ill Girl aesthetic on platforms like TikTok or shows like Euphoria reflects a troubling shift: mental illness is no longer just a personal struggle but a marketable identity shaped by algorithms and fandom culture and encoded for consumption. This ultimately blurs the line between authenticity and performance in both digital and real-life spaces.
I remember scrolling through Tumblr at thirteen, watching girls turn their sadness into something shimmering. Crying selfies, cigarette ash on a mood board, and much more. We weren’t just watching each other suffer but participating in it. As stated in Henry Jenkins’s Fandom Participatory Culture Textual Poachers, “Fan culture production is often motivated by social reciprocity, friendship, and good feeling rather than economic self-interest” (Jenkins). For many of us, reblogging these images wasn’t about attention. It was trying to belong. Participatory culture meant we found each other through these visual codes of jittery despair; in doing so, we confused performance with truth. We were learning how to be seen, and sadness got us noticed.
This aestheticization of mental health struggles didn’t remain confined to Tumblr. As platforms evolved, so did the manifestations of this trend. On Instagram, for insurance, the curated portrayal of distress becomes more polished yet no less performative. A systematic review examining Instream’s impact on mental health found that “exposure to idealized images and curated content can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and depressive symptoms among users.” (Fardouly & Vartanian, 2021) This suggests that our platforms for connection and expression also contribute to our emotional turmoil. Blurring the lines between genuine self-expression and the commodification of our struggles.
That confusion between performance and authenticity, between reaching out and showing off, set the stage for what would later emerge as a fully branded version of emotional vulnerability. The Tumblr girl’s glittered grief matured into the Instagram wellness aesthetic and eventually into the rise of the “therapy influencer.” What once felt like mutual recognition of pain turned into content strategy. Here, the language of healing,” inner child,” “safe space,” and “triggered” aren’t just shared but are sold. Platforms that once offered refuge now blur with consumption, and we’re left to decipher which parts of our feelings are genuine and which are just well-filtered performances.
Uncredentialed individuals often dispense generalized advice, blending personal anecdotes with sponsored content, thereby monetizing vulnerability. This phenomenon is reflected in Stuart Hall’s Encoding and Decoding Model, where audiences interpret media messages in varied ways–sometimes accepting them as intended, sometimes negotiating their meaning, or outright rejecting them. In this context, followers may either embrace these influencers as relatable figures or critique them for oversimplifying complex mental health issues. In a published journal by Human Behavior Reports, portrayals can raise awareness and perpetuate stereotypes, depending on audience interpretation. This concern is further supported by findings from a systematic review on Instagram and mental health, which indicate that “exposure to upward comparison material has detrimental effects” (Human Behavior Report, 2021) and that the intensity of Instagram use can impact well-being differently depending on the mental health indicator examined. The review also notes that while the number of followers doesn’t consistently predict well-being, the content consumed plays a crucial role. This duality is evident in HBO’s Euphoria, where the characters’ struggles are glamorized and critiqued, prompting viewers to reflect on the authenticity of televised mental health narratives. The intersection of media representation and audience reception underscores the need for critical engagement with online cognitive content.
I think back to my experience at sixteen– the pastel posters, the whispered slogans, the way pain was suddenly widespread, but only if it was polished. I didn’t have the right words back then, but I knew something fell off. Now I understand it wasn’t that mental health was finally being seen–it was that it was being styled. Packaged and sold. What I felt in that moment has echoed across every platform since, from Tumblr mood boards to TikTok breakdowns to glittered-streaked Rue Bennett tributes.
This is the danger: in the age of participatory media and influencer capitalism, mental illness has been transformed from a deeply personal struggle into a consumable identity.
The mentally ill girl’s aesthetic promised connection, but it often delivered performance. It taught us that suffering was beautiful, as long as it looked a certain way. And I admit I played the part, too. I saw my pain through a cinematic lens instead of a compassionate one. But healing doesn’t look like an HBO scene or a well-curated selfie. Healing can be messy, invisible, and authentic. Maybe the most radical thing we do now is stop trying to look like we’re okay– or like we’re not– and take action to heal, not for the likes, the algorithm, but for ourselves.Work Cited
Duffy, Brooke Erin. “Having It All” on Social Media: Entrepreneurial Femininity and Self-Branding among Fashion Bloggers – Brooke Erin Duffy, Emily Hund, 2015, journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2056305115604337. Accessed 1 May 2025.
Gill, Rosalind. The Amazing Bounce-Backable Woman: Resilience and the Psychological Turn in Neoliberalism – Rosalind Gill, Shani Orgad, 2018, journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1360780418769673. Accessed 1 May 2025.Jenkins, Henry. Convergence Culture: Where Old and New Media Collide on JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt9qffwr. Accessed 1 May
Jenkins, Henry. “Textual Poachers: Television Fans and Participatory Culture.” Routledge & CRC Press, Routledge, 6 Nov. 2012, http://www.routledge.com/Textual-Poachers-Television-Fans-and-Participatory-Culture/Jenkins/p/book/9780415533294.
Pavlova, Alina. “Mental Health Discourse and Social Media: Which Mechanisms of Cultural Power Drive Discourse on Twitter?” Social Science & Medicine, Pergamon, 6 Aug. 2020, http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S027795362030469X?ref=pdf_download&fr=RR-2&rr=93912b5d59db51ef.
Stuart-Hall-1980.Pdf – Encoding/Decoding, spstudentenhancement.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/stuart-hall-1980.pdf. Accessed 1 May 2025.
“The Relationship between Instagram Use and Indicators of Mental Health: A Systematic Review.” Computers in Human Behavior Reports, Elsevier, 28 July 2021, http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2451958821000695. -
Yvonne Torres shared a letter in the
Introductions, Icebreakers and Prompts group 1 months, 2 weeks agoSimple Introduction
Yvonne TorresHello Unsealed Community,
I just joined this writing platform and to be honest I am not sure what I should say for my introduction. I am socially awkward so interacting with people is very hard for me. Writing is different though. I feel more at ease when I write and can express myself better than I ever could with spoken words. I always loved to write ever since I was little; it is my safe space. Because of this I have been looking for ways to improve my writing and I stumbled upon this community. I have always wanted to find people who loved what I loved. Being homeschooled for most of my life, it was difficult to interact with other people, much less find a group that enjoyed what I enjoyed. So I spent a lot of time by myself with my writing. With that being said, I am truly grateful that I found this community. I hope I can build my writing skills here, as well as meet lots of people and hear all their different stories.-
Aww Yvonne! I am so happy you are here. I always felt like when I write I tap into a part of my brain my conscious mind can’t fully reach. It’s the purist, most honest, undressed version of myself. I am so glad you are here! And I hope you feel all the love that this community has to offers. Welcome and sending hugs! <3 Lauren
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Thank you so much Lauren! I am really happy to be here.
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Yvonne, welcome! This is a truly kind, accepting and supportive community. I stumbled on it a year ago, after losing my mother, and to some extent, myself. It’s the best place I could be. I hope you find the same community that I have. We all use writing to learn about ourselves in this space. We don’t judge, we embrace. I hope you participate in…read more
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Thank you, Chris. You have no idea how I dreamed to find a place like this. Where I could grow my writing and not be judged. I am so excited to attend everything this community has to offer. I am glad you found this place too. You are a very strong person to keep on going after you lost someone you loved. I can’t wait to read some of your writings…read more
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Brittany Goodwin shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 1 months, 2 weeks agoI Loved You Too Much to Be Okay
Brittany GoodwinFor my husband, who left too soon. For me, who stayed.
We were building something real.
Something messy and beautiful and ours.
Three years of laughs,
Hard talks, late-night plans,
Tears and kisses and silly fights
That ended in bed or in smiles.You were my safe place.
My soft landing.
My best friend and my storm.We said forever in March.
Turned keys to our first home in May.
And in July—
You left me
With a silence so loud
It still rings in my bones.I watched you go.
I screamed.
I begged.
I broke in ways I can’t explain—
Not even to myself.You didn’t just die.
You tore the sky open,
And I’m still standing in the wreckage,
Barefoot, bleeding, trying to breathe.People say “you’re so strong.”
No.
I’m not strong.
I’m shattered.
But I wake up anyway.
I make coffee.
I cry quietly in the shower.
I hold our memories like landmines—
Knowing any one of them can level me.I loved you too much to be okay.
But I also love you enough
To keep going.Even when it hurts.
Even when I hate you for leaving me.
Even when I ache for just one more touch,
One more laugh,
One more “I’m home.”You were the love of my life.
The stepfather who adored our kids like they were your own.
The man who made ordinary things feel magical.
You were it for me.And now I carry all of that
Inside a heart stitched with grief and fire.I’m still here,
Still breathing,
Still holding the broken pieces
Of everything we were supposed to be.And I will keep going—
Not because I’m strong,
But because love like ours
Deserves to survive
Even if one of us didn’t.-
Omg Brittany, I am so sorry for your loss. This piece is so beautiful and such an incredibly testament to the power and depth of your love. I am sure he is looking down on you, watching out for you and loving you for afar. I love how you ended the piece. It is so true and so incredibly power. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being part of The…read more
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Thank you Lauren, these past almost 10 months has been a nightmare. My girls and I have had to go through it alone. We don’t have much family so the ones we do have to lean on are limited. Idk what I would’ve done or how I would’ve made it if I didn’t have my kids and best friend Tayler. I try to remind myself of that everyday, don’t give up a…read more
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