You wish to be small
Slight and petite
Not round like a ball
Atop two chubby feet

You want to fit in
With those in your school
To be popular, thin
Not solely uncool

Why can’t you be skinny
Like others your grade
Dress in skirts mini-
Not big and homemade

But hold it, I say
To big little you
Soon comes the day
Adolescence is through

At age twenty-nine
With determination and grit
I promise you’re fine
Keep at it, don’t quit

Realizing long last
Being strong is what’s best
Leaving diets in the past
You pass the qualifying test

Now, a personal trainer
Group fitness leader
Sometimes entertainer
Always positivity feeder

The joy you’ll discover
In this health career choice
Will help your recover
And find your own voice

So, please don’t you fear
Dear big, little you
Your future is near
Your dream will come true

Dear Younger Me,
Why did we worry so much? We were always told not to worry about things we can’t control and yet, we did. Is it because worrying gives a sense of control? Maybe it helps us feel better if we try and figure out why we are worrying about something? Does worrying calm our mind like stimming does for someone on the autism spectrum? Mamaw always told us “you’ll get wrinkles in your forehead if you keep worrying!” and although we have a baby face, she was right. There is no use in worrying over things we can’t control. So, take a deep breath, sit back, listen to some music and just let go.

I know you stress,
Because I put you to the test.
I know you’re scared of the unknown,
But I’m here and I’m grown.
You’ll hurt yourself along the way,
But you’ll live to see a sober day.
Almost 33 now,
I know…we’re both asking how???
The pain is strong,
But come along!!!
You’re clinging to music,
That’s good. We’re going to use it!!!
Those artists will know your name,
I’m still working hard and we haven’t hit Fame.
Not yet, at least,
keep going. It’s no doubt you’re a beast.
Some call you Savage
you desire a life of lavish.
You’re not wrong… The mission is bigger than you think.
But come along and I’ll take you where we belong.
You’ll cry and ocean’s worth of tears,
I mean literally for years…
But don’t ever forget that song
We’ll take every shot you got
I don’t know it all,
but your phone they will call.
I’m trying to close some deals,
prepare us some meals.
To be eat like a queen
by your idols you will be seen.
We’re making a difference
Stay positive in your Deliverance
It’s time for me to go
I can’t wait to watch you grow
I love you the most
That I need you to know…
Breathe deep
Cuz your future I keep!!!

Lexileggo

Dear 13,
First and foremost I want to say I love you. I’m so proud of you. Why? Because you stayed positive during all the circumstances that came your way so far. Instead of letting yourself go we actually built a relationship together and one with God. I know we’ve been through a lot already but I feel like it was all a part of God’s plan. Let me break it down for you so you can remember not to worry throughout the years.
For example we’ve experienced losing a loved one at a young age. We lost our dad around 6 or 7 years old. Not knowing having a deceased father would make life a little more complicated; you handled that as best as you could, quiet and observant. Death taught us no one lives forever; it’s the only thing promised to us. We live with the memories because that’s what we have left to cherish, like the Six Flags trip he took us on. This was the first lesson that taught us how to be strong and appreciate pop-pop who helped raise us. Thank you for staying strong during that time because it helped shape how we deal with death now.
I’m sorry to you 13. I’m sorry you didn’t know what the word “no” meant, I’m sorry your peers sexualized you and I’m sorry you had to have a curious mind at such a young age. I’m sorry for not knowing I had to protect you. I’m here today to tell you not to worry about the “touchy feely” things that happened to you a couple years ago because it’s not your fault, give yourself some grace. You were too young to understand what was going on. We were all kids. If you ask me it’s no one’s fault; it was the spirit of evil. The demons that lived in the house aunty was talking about. She believed the house we lived in was haunted and that’s why we were ALL lost in spirit, especially the children. We weren’t even 9 yet and we were mini adults. With all you went through so far I’m proud of you for remaining your authentic self and not turning into something you aren’t.
I know it happened so suddenly when we had to move out of the house and live in shelters and then foster care but this situation made everyone grow. We had to get out of the house we were in so we could be better people. God had to save us all; the whole household. It was a blessing for our family. We were in the 5th grade when we had to be separated from mommy and the rest of the family. You couldn’t even live with your siblings at first and I know that was hard. But I’m proud of you for the way you handled being on your own at 10 years old. Instead of being mad and angry or even scared you just prayed and started a one on one relationship with God. Your prayers are always being answered because of it . Thank you for listening to grandma about finding God because I feel like you would’ve been stuck somewhere if you didn’t, but you did and I’m happy for you. Because of the traumatic experiences that you endured alone I created a business catered to children and young adults just like you. Teaching them to address and work through their past and current traumas through writing. This journey that you’re on is destined.

You see why I say I’m proud of you? The things that happened to you at such a young age were supposed to define you and you were supposed to be stuck or lost; but you fought hard and didn’t even know it. It’s because you have a spirit that doesn’t allow you to be stagnant. You have to continue to follow your spirit, because God is leading the way. We are bigger and better than our situations.
As the years go on don’t worry because God placed incredible people in your life to help you on your journey. God will always guide your path. Just continue to follow the signs and your intuition. You’re going to be just fine, trust me. I love you.
Forever Loving You,
31
P.S. Remember walking with God and choosing to stay close to him isn’t a walk in the park but the joy and the peace you have coming will make it all worth it.

dear little girl;
i know you’re feeling excited to have entered this world
every sight you see is a pleasure to behold
every face you meet; you never knew a stranger
you have always found patience while standing in the face of danger

i wanna tell you, girl;
i dont know if things will get easier
i know that you will find many things that you think please you
but you’ll know better now
when you meet that same face of danger
only as you get older now
the face is no longer a stranger

the best news now is that your own worst enemy is you
and yourself was sent here to protect everything that you will do
i know it will get harder now, but what’s true will always be true
now that you know yourself, the world will feel free to open up around you

hey, little girl;
you are not meant to have an easy introduction to this world
you will meet much pain inside and the change around you will make
everything you knew into a total frenzy; swirled

dear little girl;
you don’t need to worry now because you’ve got you with me
as i am older now, i can easily spot the danger
and i know now that i never really even knew a stranger
don’t worry now because i have become everything that will change us

hey, little girl
when i look at you, you amaze us