Being in love with love
It first starts within
Being in love with self
Then with strangers, family and friends
Learning to love yourself even
When in doubt
Learning to stand alone while figuring everything out
Healing from traumas that others may not know
Stepping into your purpose
Doing your part, so that more love in the world can grow
Being in love with love is spreading peace, happiness and positivity
Being in love with love is loving others outside of me
Being in love with love is loving all……unconditionally
This is the biggest lesson I’ve learned and wanted to share
That no matter what we go through in life
Still show someone else love, and that you’ll always be there
Someone else may have it worse than you
Someone else may need the strength that lives inside of you
So showing love even when you don’t feel it
Is the best healing that you can do
Being in love with love is understanding that within you is where it begins
I am in love with love
Because I know now that in a world full of hurt, evil and pain……..
Spreading love is the only true way we all can win.

From me to you,
which truth is true,
and how to choose between a few,
take this clue and read it through.

When taking pills of red or blue,
when you’re deciding what to do,
you know who will guide you through,
and your perspective He’ll renew,
and give you a new point of view
so you can understand it too.

So, when it comes to what is true,
you should know a thing or two
about how what is new to you
and that you now believe is true,
compared to what you thought you knew,
wasn’t new, just new to you.

let go.
let go of people.
let go of things.
let go of places.
let go of yourself & all of the negative inner monologues along with it.
let go of labels.
let go of bad habits.
let go of unfulfilling relationships of all kinds; friendships, family, coworkers, romantic partners, you name it.
let go of mistakes.
let go of the past, future & the fear of living for today.
let go of anything & everything that does not resonate this very day.
let go of old perspectives.
let go of previous wounds.
let go of past hurts.
let go of your first & last lover.
let go of lack mentality.
let go of all that was ever known.
let go of anything & everything that no longer rings true within your heart.

let go in exchange to move forward & welcome the unwritten chapters of your life.

hello to new people.
hello to new things.
hello to new places.
hello to new beginings.
hello to new opportunities.
hello to new chances.
hello to new loves.
hello to abundance.
hello to the present.
hello to myself.

let go to surrender to your destined life.
the story is only yours to create,
what will you choose to write?

Dear 8.1 billion of you that I share this planet with:

The vast majority of you I will never meet. We walk separate paths that statistically – will simply never cross in a meaningful way. To the one waking up on the opposite side of earth than me today. To the one I see on the news. To the one who made a TikTok that made me giggle but I’ll never remember your name. To the one who took their child to the very same park I took my son to hours later, but never met.

We live in an era where we’re more connected than ever, and also more divided than ever. The media spins a tale that we are so very different from one another. And yes, it is somewhat true – we are different. We have different backgrounds, different privileges, different beliefs; but one thing remains more true:

We are more similar than we are different.

In another life, that girl you look down upon could be your best friend. In a parallel universe, the homeless man you silently judge on the street corner could be your brother. In an alternate reality, an older woman bagging your groceries could be your grandmother. If there was a glitch in the matrix, that infant crying in the seat next to you on the flight could be your own child.

We are all human beings with beating hearts. If you were to sit down and have a conversation with an individual you think couldn’t be more unlike yourself, I bet you would leave that conversation feeling otherwise.

We are more similar than we are different, and that is beautiful.

Yes, you can’t and that’s totally ok!
“Average is awesome” is a philosophy that needs to be given its rightful place in urban society.
While the pursuit to excellence comes with immense self-pride /satisfaction at the pinnacle , it also carries with it a heavy mixed bag of insecurities, strife and stress along the way.

Why is one almost always unfairly judged on being content with just being average?

While some may argue the acceptance of mediocrity creates a false sense of acheivement and is the villian to all things great , I believe it is supremely meditative to do so. It nurtures a complete abandon of self doubt and offers the freedom not to hold back on living life to the fullest on one’s own terms.

For some being midway is truly being at the finish point.
As someone who has constantly been working to break free from the ever tightening shackles of self improvement , I am finally begining to embrace the average in all of middle aged me.

There are no more mountains I wish to climb, no more i wish to traverse , just let me lay someplace in the middle as it is my happiest place to be!!

imposter
concealment
limiting
our lives
our potential
fear…
the world will find us out
public faces
private faces
is there anything in between
how do we negotiate
rigid expectations
pressure
roles
identify
release
overcome

Dear Mother and self,

When I was just a girl I asked my mother what the point of life was, she told me that the point of life is to experience it, experience it in every way imaginable. From the highest highs to the lowest lows, experience is the point of life.

Mother knows best, maybe an old cliche, but on this, she is right, you know:

The point of life is not the car you drive,
But the people you drove to meet with it.
The point of life is not the money you make,
But the moments you created with it.

It’s not the car that gave me experience, but the memories and moments that came with it:

“Dad’s Truck” came with its own set of nuanced experiences.
– “That Star” I still see in the sky, was a shared moment in the bed of my blue truck,
“The hardest day” will remain a stain on my bones, materials were lost, but never the memories made.

Experience is the point of life, not the money earned or the things we’ve lost. Experience increases in value, while your penny today could be crypto tomorrow. Is it money earned or time spent earning it that you remember the most?

Because for me, I’ve lived a full life with highs and lows, when experience was my only friend. I’ve ridden the waves of beautiful and ugly. The biggest lesson I’ve ever learned – life is experience: the good and the bad mixed in a swirling vortex of individualized experience.

Dearest Shelle Belle,
I don’t know why you are so hard on yourself. You’re learning and moving forward making the best of each new day. It’s 1993 and you have entered into the next stages of your life. Your music selection is a wide variety of artists, which speaks volumes of who you are. As you walk down the graffiti tagged streets of Denver you hold your head high even though the environment around you feels unsafe and scary, you keep pushing forward with your dreams. These streets will never break you. You have so much to accomplish. Follow your dreams. Be your own hero. Keep moving forward. They tried to dim your light when they assaulted you, but you pushed through. You never gave in. You never gave up, and for that my friend you grew into the beautiful and amazing you. A young mom at 16, just a baby yourself. You continued to grow. I’m proud of you.
For motherhood is tough enough even when one is ready. You took it on. Life stops for no one. Each day a new adventure. Smile, but also honor the tears that you shed when you feel lost in your head. There is clarity ahead. You just have to believe.

You don’t know me yet but you and I are very close. You think you know it all and that you have life figured out……. And I hate to burst your bubble but you really don’t. Like at all. But You have a good head on your shoulders though. I just need you to trust yourself more. I know you’re probably thinking what the hell do I know about you but truth is: I am You but grown up. There are so many things I wish you knew. But everything still works out. The main thing I want you to know or take away from this letter is to trust your power and stop letting the words and opinions of others (no matter how important they may seem to you) define or change who you are.

You’re a big dreamer with a big heart. You are more than what you think of yourself. You are not an unlovable failure who is an idiot. Please speak better to yourself! Just because no one says it often doesn’t mean you aren’t loved. Be secure in your authentic self. I know the pain you hide behind every smile and the genuine self hate you have with every joke you make
about yourself. Your jokes aren’t even funny they’re actually sad because why would you say those things about yourself?

You call yourself all the wrong names and you answer to all the wrong names. To be honest you don’t even like being called Leah unless you’re blood related to someone when you’re older. You don’t need the approval you keep seeking from people. You are already valid. Yes, I know it would be nice to have someone validate you with kind words and gestures but hey play the cards you are dealt.

Girl , I wish you understood and knew your strength. Like girl you are resilient as fuck.
A true gem. The darkness you hold inside of you now; we learn to control. Even though it pains you don’t regret the heart you have. It comes in handy. Stop hating yourself please. So many blessings are being blocked for me because of the words you’ve sown. Yes we were ignorant but words have a lot of power.

Also, PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! Stop cutting yourself. Depression cannot keep winning. Life is so much more beautiful than you can imagine. You are not worthless and you deserve to live just as much as anyone else. I know you feel numb most days or you have to put on a mask but it’s nothing to kill your self over. You actually survive worse mental places in life. But I get it though. You just trying to feel and because you’re used to emotional pain; you inflicted physical pain.
I know you feel like I’m attacking you but you need to hear this. You’re not the victim you think you are. You are the conqueror. Everything that has ever happened to you is my villain origin story. I mean that in a good way. We learn to set boundaries in our late 20s and become villains to the people who tried to break us.

I just really wish you loved yourself enough as a teenager to see how truly great you are. Like girl you are the bees knees. Not the red thing around the bologna. Love yourself first so the world and people won’t chew you up and spit you out or simply toss you to the side. You are beautiful, intelligent and loved. It’s crazy how you pour love into to everyone else but you.

Seriously you are constantly calling yourself ugly and avoiding the mirror. You hate your body and it’s fine. You’re not the ugly duckling you were just born a swan. Your intelligence and body what makes you. It’s your heart. All the trauma you have suffered so far is not in vain. I just need you to love yourself through that pain. Like we end up becoming a mother. You literally have a daughter who adores you and is twice as stubborn as you are. We have to love ourself because she is a sponge and she soaks up everything we teach her whether it’s intentional or unintentional. I need you to love yourself because we struggle as an adult. And having a kid didn’t make it easier but it’s motivation. She needs to see a confident woman who loves herself and understands her value and you are her first teacher.

So love yourself kid because I love you! I’m proud of you and you actually don’t do to bad in life because you learn the importance of perspective. Plus nobody really warned or prepared us for how expensive being an adult is but we are managing. So if you see our kindergarten self tell her that she should have saved all those dollars we spent when we were her age.

As you can see our humor will always be intact. Lol

I love you Leah or shall I say Dee. That’s who we like to be called and we add pretty in front for a little razzle dazzle.

I LOVE YOU !! And I appreciate all that you are.