the day you begin at your lowest is the day they need you to smile,
to “look like you want to be here,” to put on the mask,
so you don’t ruin his day, so you don’t make her uneasy.
honesty is selfish, so you force the grin,
the dam holding back grief as it threatens to flood,
an apology for daring to express a neurotic emotion,

intrusive thoughts rush through cracks,
the fracture in understanding reality where you don’t know how to accept what’s true,
having faith in the dark of your closed eyes that you will see light when you open them again,
these truths that shape your identity and guide your actions,
an inundation that leaves you horrified by what belongs to you,
until you fortify for mind with a pill
as i slip into comfortable delusion, breathe shallow,
my medicine tastes like lobotomy.

the hollow platitudes of condolences that feel obligated to speak by the collective obligation to speak,
“hope you feel better”
“you sound crazy.”
pressing at the seams of your fragile control.
it thrives on this quiet, this forced calm,
i’m impatient.

makes you wonder where the clear water went,
if it was ever there at all,
makes you feel like you had it coming during the day you’re at your lowest,
when you’re meant to lead a presentation for your boss- pace your self and inhale deep so they can’t hear tremble in your voice,
when you’re meant to join your family for dinner- running through multiple choice scenarios in an attosecond to formulate the intricate lie you’ll tell your mother in lieu of causing her worry,
when you have no thoughts to share as tour body puppeteers your actions to fulfill your daily routine,
somewhere deep within no matter how hidden,
a forcefully forgotten memory of trauma is randomly triggered and you lose control, embarrassing yourself by letting see the face behind the mask,
the pain behind the smile,
makes you feel like you deserve to hurt*** yourself

Lately it’s like everything in government is abortion, extortion, and distracting the masses, while the leaders take a portion of the proceeds they send overseas. Doing whatever they please, while ignoring those on our own shores who have needs. There’s nothing I abhor more than to watch our nation bleed, as our leaders continue to bite the hand that feeds… No taxation without representation. A term which should be so ingrained in us, it shouldn’t need explanation. Our forefathers found the only solution, was to rise up in revolution. They made their declaration known, and fought to create this once great nation. Yet here we are today dealing with inflation, moral deprivation, an over run border, and everything we were founded upon in disorder…
The heart is wicked and full of deceit. For a moment of comfort during distress, we’ll lay our rights at another man’s feet. Selfish, self-centered, self-righteous beings who are lovers of themselves… it’s funny how quickly others we’ll forsake. To take all that they have to take. Until the will of that person finally breaks… Even an honest and pure man given power, can have these thoughts start to bloom until they flower. One will seek to further his control over his brother’s soul. Even if they’re from the same mother, and their corpses both lie in the same hole. For pride is their father. And to truly care for another, to them, is really quite a bother. They only seek to further their own gain. Meanwhile doing whatever they need to do to keep hold of the reigns. No matter the sorrows nor the pains. They care not as long as they still carry their title tomorrow…
The whole situation leaves me grieved. To see that our streets aren’t the only places flooded with thieves. As a kid I never would’ve believed that we’d be in the state that we’re at. It’s as if we’re divided more than ever, over everything, especially between republican or democrat. Has this thought ever occurred to anyone else? That maybe, just maybe, the left wing and right wing belong to the same bird? That maybe we’re just pawns in their game? I’m not the type to be given to conspiracy, but it’s like slowly we’re slipping back into a state of tyranny. Where are the ones who care about the common man’s well-being and security? Instead our leaders create bills with their agendas written in obscurity. Where are the ones who walk upright, and in purity?
I’ve witnessed first hand with my own eyes
just how our government and media lies.
Feeding us bits and pieces of truth and misinformation, leaving us to have to follow the clues…
I still remember a Russian man telling me “if you want to know what’s going on in your own country, watch foreign news.”
Or going to a far less wealthy country, and found it quite bizarre to see their currency was worth more than ours…
I’m not saying that I’ve seen the writing on the wall…
But I fear if things don’t change soon, our once great nation will fall

This Planet is under an invisible force field of electro-magnetic waves of a holographic system. To the eyes of many, everyday life is lived in a routine fashion of duality in an infinite cycle of death and rebirth in an omnipresent universe of interpersonal evolution for the ever changing transient beings that we are.
“But through the breath of nature, the lens of extra perception expands beyond the pixelated world of what truly is a non-reality, as it breaks the defense shield of the Elites false normality, exposing the darkest degrees of a lewd Lodge of slitheran whose agenda is to soul snatch the pure nectar of the youthful adolescent in a covert operation to feed the cold blooded entity with a hallow glitch of a stare.”
A mind altering system, of muted subliminal tones to fragment the subconscious of all; with a joyous yet baneful mask, “similar to those faces they wore during the ancient Greek theatres marveling in the guise of laughter, as if it was a land where there was no time”. Under Forced control, with out the remote control, it’s mind bending.
For they find solace in constantly modifying todays hash tags ,like it’s a closed caption to a cliffhanger of a dark mantra to the soundless crimes they commit. For it echoes a deaf tone to muted ears, A lost child sobbing in the shadows of is own abyss. Why must society continue to ignore and be blind to the horrors these Dark Lords encrypt?
Its a Slow dance that is so dense, you can barely see the movement as it shifts. “It is the purity within That vial of nectar that drives those sex demons they possess rampant, somehow its a plot twist to being stuck in between the devils grip. ” Though it is Grim, it is truth that must be unveiled. Like pouring rain flooding the ground , an earthly sound, with clouded skies when the Heavens drown the bloodshed spilled upon the rotten soil to wash away the raging anger of yester years sorrow when they took away the old Queens Crown.
But like sand through the hour glass,
The thinning of those puppet strings hum sounds of harmony like a violin streams screaming swing low sweet chariot ( Because we want every bit of our existence to be free like once again).
Free from the shadow figures body jumping into empty humans as they multiply the supply of rebellion in baals court. Something like A Mighty morphing entity Or so as they pretending to be…
“They find strength in numbers, until one dies then the spirit goes out on a hunt to re collect the next vessel it sees fit to proceed on as a henchmen on the quest.”
But Even the shadows of the main shadow will come to surface with the light of truth before all to see. “They find those with a silent nature a threat, something like me.
Im agile with the gaze of a jaguar , like eyes written on the wall, a witness to there ghoulish acts of psychopathy , a dormant trait I see hidden behind those lazy eyes.”
This is the upside down world, where smiles are really frowns And hand shakes are binding spells for the princes of darkness to hold your gifts and talents in the palm of there hands, its a sizzle in your wine glass like poison for you to drink, Dont blink”. Keep your eyes on the wooden boy who was carved from the hands of another man.
Geppetto was a strange fellow, a forefather who has molded the minds of todays ring of elite Pedos. A Charismatic Puppeteer pulling the strings slithering its tongue in the ear with the charm in his music like the Pied piper in a field of poppies , never fear just beware.
Stand tall and Stand strong, Roar like a lion so that they scurry away and exude the Goddess that you are, like a gleaming Star of shooting fire from far far away.

Every day the search is so real
In obvious, yet often vague fashion
The path is forever passing through
Mirage and tangible peaks and valleys

When molehills turn to mountains
When that oasis ahead offers nothing
Only barren and deserted ground
The insurmountable desire to fade becomes
An obstacle we struggle to overcome

Every day the struggle is sincere
How to permeate and see beyond
Our perceived vision of that molehill
The lying mirage we cling to in hope
Of quenching that continuous thirst on the journey

Strive to find the meanings lying in wait
Infinite is their patience the meanings exists
While often not simple the reward is priceless
Knowledge is power and awareness the weapon

Search and struggle brings truth
Even if only your own to hold
Because at the end of every path we choose
Is a new one only you can walk

Kosmic_Kachina2469

Dear Janice Burgess,
I hope this letter finds its way to you in heaven. I meant to release these words months ago, but events during the summer made me lose sight of them until today. So, please forgive my lateness.

Since you passed away in March, several talented people have also left this earth, such as Rico Wade, James Earl Jones, Maggie Smith, Dikembe Mutombo, and, recently, John Amos.

It saddened me that it wasn’t until the news of your passing that I learned that you were the one who created the cute cartoon show The Backyardigans.

I was entering my 20s and living with my oldest sister and niece in Maryland when I discovered your show. My niece and I enjoyed another kid’s show called The Wonder Pets. It took a little while for me to get into that show, but once I did, I wanted it to the point where I believed I enjoyed it as much as my niece did.

It was a blast watching the three main characters in The Wonder Pets have adventures and talk to other animals in their world.

Once I was eager to watch The Wonder Pets, I noticed your show, The Backyardigans, would come on before The Pets. It looked interesting, but I wondered if I would like it as much as The Wonder Pets. I’m so glad I was wrong about that.
Slowly but surely, my niece and I would start watching The Backyardigans as much as The Wonder Pets.
Listening to the theme song of The Backyardigans was always a great way to start the day when I was babysitting my niece. It was also fun to see what the main characters were up to in the episodes we watched together.

Watching my niece light up when your show and The Wonder Pets came on TV made me light up. I saw how happy you made her. She’s 16 now , which is mind-blowing to me. But I’ll never forget those times I had with her watching your show and The Wonder Pets early in the morning.

So thank you, Ms. Burgess, for creating a show that gave me memories with my niece and all the other work you’ve done. Just from looking at some of your photos online, you looked like a sweet person who gave other people joy.
 Rest in power.

Sincerely,
Gerald

I felt like my death is long overdue
I use to enjoy life when I was with you
Look into my eyes and what do you see
Just the leftover mess of what you made of me

As memories turn to lessons i look to see life in a new light
Fighting back my nature to not let my love turn to spite
Despite my best efforts i still was not enough
Tell me was what we had ever real or all just a bluff

I gave you all i had in spite of my status
But despite all that you painted me red black and blue like i was your personal canvas
As i pick up the pieces of whats left of me
Will i finally find myself and be set free?

Invisible. A wish that with each passing day the desire to become tethered with it grows. It was always my answer when I was asked, “What superpower would I choose given the chance?”

It was always invisibility. It’s a period where you are free from the confinements of reality, and everything that comes with it. Free from judgement from other people, free from inconvenience but also securing a safe space to truly be yourself.

Lately the story behind that spark, my desire, it derives from
unwanted attention, unwanted burdens, piling up, and weighing me down like unyielding cargo.

It’s the attention through the eyes of a lustful man, stopping to stare at me while I work, making small talk when it’s clear I don’t want to be friends. His gaze, his voice were like spiders crawling into my skin, sending painless shockwaves of panic through my veins, like a mini earthquake racketing in my body.

It rippled my nerves with anxiety, taking my thoughts to a dark place, swearing to myself that I’ll never be caught in a dark alley with him, wishing I can disappear so his eyes and slimy smile can stop looking at mine.

There’s also life issues, and personal struggles, burdens like struggling to contain your emotions, because you feel too deeply, and now you’re putting yourself out there too much, or you take things the hard way, or you get told you’re too sensitive. You just feel TOO MUCH! It’s overwhelming, so much you start to feel drained in your heart, your soul, your spirit, and self worth.

The burden of it all, juggling life’s chaos, searching for balance, and all that jazz. I struggle everyday, trying to do enough so that I am a fully functional stable, healthy, human being.
A woman.

Yes, snap out of it, Paige.You are more than this and who you are is better than this. You’re better than this.

Listen, I’ll be honest while I’m still going, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t take a toll on me.

And then I remember, one night, I painted a seamless life, an escapable vision, and a fruitless chase for it. A mirage that I will never obtain but always yearn for.

To be alive but invisible would be a kaleidoscope of possibilities, shifting and unfolding, basking in a beautiful, colorful life, relishing in a chance to live in peace, free from mental torment, and wallowing in the quiet stillness of a misty sanctuary, where the soul roam unseen.

It is a dream that I would die for.

Give man a weapon & put him in an environment with just the right amount of fear & danger. Train them to suppress all their emotions so half of them suppress their integrity, empathy & respect. So they can abuse & suppress women. The body that was given the power to birth new life had to learn to suppress the natural instinct to nurture because we wanted better lives. So half of them will then birth new life without the capacity to nurture. Co-existing with kids, having more so they have each other & letting them become products of their neglectful environment. Give us easy access to guns, give us corruption in our local governments. Give us poverty, lack of resources & watch how we willingly do questionable things to survive. Watch how we turn against each other, normalize hate & pass it down for generations.
They created a zoo with just the right amount of lack to make a man just one inconvenience away from snapping. We can’t trust our neighbors. Our senses are screaming for us to step back & LOOK at where we are. We are so weak & hopeless that instead of coming together- we let others suffer alone because we are just one circumstance away from being in their shoes. We can’t always trust the system to serve Justice & prosecute fairly- at the same time. We can’t trust the men & women sworn to protect us. We can’t trust that our representatives will hold them accountable when we demand Justice because to hold them accountable would be to count their own days in office. The people calling us to war on their behalf are the savages. The monsters are the people that take tragic events as marketing opportunities. Not the children born into chaos, or the victims of mass shootings here at home.
Gangs fighting for territory protecting streets that are built with houses they tax us on. Streets that we are taxed to drive on. Destroying your youth’s lives while your government makes money off the very thing you claim is yours. While the system abandons the care we are owed in exchange for their power. Care that they tax us on but seldom give. Nothing material belongs to us and we are taxed even when our bodies expire. Some of us had to fight for the right to our own autonomy.
We want reform from an organization that has shown us repeatedly that we have been trained to accept pretty words with no action because in a matter of minutes somewhere in this country we are turning on each other & we’ll forget the real problem. Their thoughts & prayers & staged speeches are evidence that they don’t have the work ethic or integrity to be sitting in those positions. The current system isn’t working, it hasn’t worked for decades & and we can’t keep riding out this wave. Please connect to that pull inside you that is the divine trying to bring light to the world. Please ask for a cease-fire. Please begin here so that we stop creating more work for humanity. These struggles have gone on too long & there is a lot to do but it CAN be done. WE have the power in our hands, more so if we join together. Lets use our voices to advocate for those in suffering. The world is abundant to those who take the opportunity to receive & sustain the new life we deserve. Let us all step away from the daily routines we were forced into. Let us create a better world for the younger generations. We have the power & the opportunity NOW. Older generations sowed the seeds for us. It is our duty now to remind “leaders” that we abolished slavery in the 1800’s. That we see beyond the new age slave structure they created. That we all bleed red. That we want a different Rome and we are done being the machine that creates theirs. Let them use their offices as colosseums so they can settle their own battles. We the people, want peace back.

In the darkness, I’m alone, floating on a cloud of dreams,
where reality blurs and paints a picture of my mind dancing freely,
taking solace in the emptiness,
escaping the inevitable
to a void where struggles on all fronts
dissolve.

To a single adult like me,
name any struggle you’re facing
and I can likely tell you
that I was there before coming here.
Still gonna be waiting for me
for when I get back though.

God, it was serene, the feeling,
like being wrapped in a cozy blanket
on a cool night in your bed;
while your worries melted like butter
into a fleeting absence.

And when there’s night,
there’s day,
and like the sun in the world,
yours will rise again in your mind,
which reminds me of
the one thing I always loved about
the darkness,
because in it there’s nothing there,
no light to illuminate
any harsh reality
or truth
waiting to cause havoc in
your heart and mind.

And if it were up to me,
I’d manifest my thoughts into a person,
and kill it
so my mind can finally have peace.

I’d stay in the darkness forever,
if that meant being free.

(I was inspired to write this just now at 11:34pm 8/27/24)
In the past, society has deemed mental health as a crisis or a “stigma” and if women showed any form of mental health issues, we were sanctioned to an asylum to live out the rest of our days. Some men as well. But, in 2024, mental health is still frowned upon. “Oh, what, in your life is so bad?” “No one will believe you.” “Your depression is just you being lazy.” etc…I have had the immense pleasure of working in the mental health field off and on for a very long time and I fall in love more every time I go back. It is not wrong to ask for help with your mental health. Forget about what your friends and family will say. Forget about what social media and film and television say about it. Just do not think for one moment that you do not deserve to be here. And every time you think you will end it all, remember, I am here for you, as are hundreds of others and think to yourself: “just one more chapter.”

Loneliness slithers in
Like an unsuspecting snake
Coiled around my neck
Struggling to breathe
With nobody around
To save me
In a crowded room
I feel so alone
Everyone has someone
But no one has got me
Each night I come closer
To a planned death
Because loneliness kills
I don’t belong anywhere
I’m not needed nor wanted
So why even bother
I’ll drift away peacefully
Forgotten easily
And never remembered