My Goals for 2025

My goals for 2025
My first goal is to be alive

This year was tough,
And mentally rough

I have loved and I have lost
But at what cost

When one door closes; another opens
Next year will be peaceful; I am hoping

I was confused but now it’s clear
I will create my own destiny for next year

This year my marriage has ended and we both are now free
My goal for next year is to take care of me

12/15/2024
Deborra Hill

Who knows where the light lives
Who knows why it’s here
There’s music in the mystery
There is magic
There is fear
ar
The wonder of connection
Incendiary and soft
That sets spirits dancing
Unfettered to a future
Unshackled by the past

Magic and mystery
Whispers ad winds
Trust in the music
Trust in the friend

Hearts have been wounded, warped, shattered
Still angels would teach us to sing
Of this challenge we’re silently facing
As we dream of a path to the sea

Light only comes from the darkness
Light only lives in the heart
Light alone can make roses and rainbows
We must choose to rise or to beach or to go

More goals are ahead
I feel led
To achieve them
One at a time
To reach each finish line
The stars are slowly aligning
I’ve seen the sharp lightning
After years of mixed messages
And confusing paths
Thanks to outdated maps
But the life game is slowing down
No more feeling like I had drown
In a sea of confusion
More books are on the way
After finally finishing my first one this year
I cheer with happy tears
Continuing to pursue my Bachelor’s Degree
At UMGC
Will be another goal that I strive to work on
Getting more involved in The Unsealed again,
is a goal I hope to work on through baby steps
If more goals come along
I welcome them with a big hug
May we all
Stand tall
To end 2024
On a high note

As we dance around the sun once again
I will demonstrate my love for you
And I will listen
Every sign
Every metaphor
Body
You are wise
I will learn more from you
Things I cannot see with my eyes
Feel with my hands
You talk to me
And I’ll stay curious
A sore stomach
And ache in my head
Sweaty palms
The fast paced beating of my heart
The signals that you send to me
I will slow down
And I will be listening
For your wisdom
This is the year
Body and soul
Dance together in time

Well.. I mean… 2024 isn’t really over yet…
But I’m almost willing to bet…
That my greatest moment hasn’t happened yet…
Words can’t begin to describe how long I’ve waited…
Or how many years it’s felt like my hearts been deflated…
Wrestling often with the thoughts I’ve debated…
The amount of time I’ve spent suffering alone…
A chill that that sinks into the depths of the bone…
Yet to finally find a woman… I can call my own…
Words can’t begin to describe how much joy she brings
A treasure truly greater than anything
Which is why I chose to buy her a ring
That I may claim her as mine
A gentle beauty so fine
As if crafted by a hand divine
Kind, loving, hardworking and diligent
She is truly magnificent
Almost as if she’s been heaven sent
She came to me at a time when I was at one of my lowest
So I hope to give her all of my best
To be able to provide her with a life of comfort and rest
And tho our journey together has not officially begun
I still find myself utterly stunned
For I can see her being the mother to my daughters and sons
If there’s one message to her I hope to send
Its that my love for her knows no end
All that’s left, is for my to knee to bend…
So I suppose…
It’s time for me to propose
With a ring and a rose

Heal yourself before you let anyone too close.
I wanted to heal myself before I leant too close to your heart, but it seemed as though the intimacy of nightfall took ownership of my will, well before I could prepare for the unknown of what comes next.
I couldn’t tell her no.

A fire was lit that night, though unsure if it was ours.

The trees were whistling with the sounds of whispers and I remember being afraid of moving too loud—as I was afraid of breaking the silence.

Our silence.
Our mouths salivating.
Our skin pierced with the teeth of blood sucking vessels.
Our fears enlarging.

Neither one of us wanted to move, no matter how painful.
However,
this was nothing compared to the pain we usually felt.

This was pain that one could appreciate for not being so heavy.

Your silence speaks of hidden languages that only a fellow hurt person could understand—I was only favored enough to understand it.
Similar to the way your eyes tell a story that is both beautiful and sorrowful if you stare too closely—so I don’t.

I turn my head the opposite way on your chest so that I could listen with more depth to the sounds of your heart waves.
I was overcome with a feeling of emptiness.
Hollow even, but a heart was still inside.
It’s beating faster than usual.
It’s the feeling of a race being chased by its own blood. Whoever stops the beating first is the most comfortable. There was no off button, no way to stop what was actually being felt.
We just had to wait for the intensity to cool down.

I told you that I was tired,
to which you replied “so fall asleep”
And I did—I attempted.

The sky took away the brightness of day, along with it the warmth of a summer evening. Though replaced with your presence. Nightfall no longer brought the fear of solitude and the self-sabotage my thoughts spawned. And I no longer feared of what happens if both our darknesses activated on such a night.

I whisper to you, “I can hear your heartbeat.”
Your silence was louder than your wavelength.

At that moment, I was unsure if words were allowed, unsure if I should have spoken—so I didn’t.

We are both broken inside, I can feel it. I can feel you.

We were both hesitant, but it still felt nice—to know that we both came from dark and twisted places, yet no matter how broken, we only saw each other as human.

I knew not to let go, as this hour was the only hour we had that time was allowed to stop. That’s what it felt like.
A pause.
A pause on all the heartbreak we’ve undergone.

I’ve been heartbeat to heartbeat
with other people before,
skin to skin,
but it never felt like when I was with you.
This didn’t feel so wrong.
Instead, this felt okay.
This felt like safety was an understatement.

I can feel your heartbeat again,
but this time its closer towards your lap,
with me laying across you.
You’re afraid to touch me—so you don’t.
However, you don’t want me to move.
Unfortunately, those were actions that we couldn’t act on.

Together, we reached safety within our hearts.
An unspoken true love.
Builders then constructed a home.
One with no loud anger, no worries, no glass boxes, and no heartbreak.
We put a pause to the hurt. How did we manage to do this? Perhaps the darkness that we shared created a dark hole. One that was powerful enough to create a temporary silence.

You were gentle. I was anxious.
I kept you warm, and you kept me still.
No anger, no worries, no fears, and no hurt.
We put a pause to the hurt. How did we manage to both come from dark and twisted places but still together, we were able to create something that was so whole and safe?
While only temporary, it was still nice.

I would then crawl into you and enjoy the sounds of love bugs within the air.
And before the night was over,

—before the sky released the brightness of the day…along with it the warmth of summer evening
—before the hours of dawn erased a memory of what special was held in that very moment…
—And before magic went back to being parable…

We allowed ourselves to be intimate in other ways.
That’s what I like to call sincere friendship.

Hop in my charcoal gray Nissan
I call her sweet, Storm Moltenya
hankering, hungrily for my favorite guacamole
it’s such a lovely, broken heart mender
swerving swiftly through the street
to my glorious green treat
on the radio, a lo-fi beat
relaxing, rocking in my seat

striking sights suddenly stop
me amidst the concrete maze
my eyes bathe in a golden glaze
pampering, pretty pink haze
Happy, hopeful heavens amaze
sunbeams bow as they blaze

cloud crests curl compassionately
atop blue beauty, like festive covers
swirling colors like lustful lovers
floating forces connect
robust, radiant, and proud
one keeps calling, like a friend to me
rare and distinct from the crowd
with a name, it is endowed
Titan is silent, yet loud

drawn in by his magnanimous mojo
body like a stairway to Cielo
sunlight illuminates his halo
saying, “Climb up, spend a day or so”
to meet my spirit guides, I want to go

for a little while, he makes me smile
magnificently moving, I like his style
shaped like a seven, such a divine posture
delightfully doting, my full attention I offer

tall Titan
incredible, inviting
enchanted to behold you
with you, I’m vibing
just joy riding
admiring you from all angles
an amazing abode for angels

viewing your spectacular stature
over the rolling green pasture
peace, presence, and love
from the majestic master
of this unique universe
I’m inspired to pen a verse

listening to Miguel
feeling alive and well
earlier felt like hell
now I’m witnessing heaven
picturesque, pineapple, purple skies
baptize, bless, caress, and surprise
viewing this vibrant vision, I realize

Everything is going to be alright.

Dear Unsealed,
2024 was and is forever changing directions around the world.
As I step up the ladder to look out at the world,
I slip,
I grip,
The sides of the ladder as it staggers slowly to the ground,
All around
The neighborhoods of America
We shout I care!
I kept my goals of diet, focusing, eating healthy and all the other goals I had proposed processing the exchange from 2023 to 2024. I wrote for The Unsealed and Vocal.
My newest accomplishment was writing and producing 18 songs after signing a contract with #distrokid online. That was not planned. I had music training beginning early in life. I utilize Suno AI, Invideo Ai, LTX studios AI, Sora AI to produce videos with my music to publish on you tube. I create music, words, and beats and all that from my heart and soul to make people happy or to talk about political issues through music. I discovered this is my new adventure.
I am still waiting on commissions from Vocal for this year. I am waiting for my royalties from my music. A goal for another story will be written soon.
2024 was a progressive year of changes, elections, and then the non-progressive election of a backwards society person to suppress women, the elderly, the vulnerable of our society. My answer to all of that malarky’ is I will remain who I am as a creative woman of elder age of 75.
The world watches all.
The world will see as the ball
Drops in Times Square 2024.
As before
We salute 2024,
We crash our drinks to 2025,
We are alive
To strive for rainbows,
Not illusions of unicorns,
But truth, freedom, and to be born
To spread love across the world
Of the good, the bad, the ugly.
As I type on my pc to be a ladybug
Of character of values to flow
Across from 2024 to 2025,
More songs, stories, poems, art
Not farts.
So, I summarize my eccentric rant of 2024
As each year goes forward
My music and contract with #distrokid were my unexpected 2024 goal that came true as I walked the path of the year transformation from dark to light.
So bright,
So very light,
Breathe!

I am in that time of life when looking into the mirror reveals a face that looks back at me–
and I no longer see myself
as I see my-
Self.

I am in that time of life when new music and shows and scenes are too loud and too much and too many and the sound of silence and childhood nostalgia
are soft
and calm
and exact.

I am in that time of life when the more really should be the less–and while so much is thought-
so much less is said
because when you know…you know to do better.
And, better is in what is left
unspoken.

Yes,
I am in that time of life when the thought of menopause is no longer a mystery, but an expectation and dreams are plans and goals made and promises broken or kept
or both-and-
what’s left has now grown into
a woman.

A woman in that time of life who has seen or sees her mother in herself-
as a mother-
and if not-
sees herself as the mother who has learned how to be her
Self
As
An-
Other.

That time of life, I am in
as a woman- now
And keep growing into myself even
further.

I would love to tell you 2024 was the GREATEST year ever, but it has been MY MOST GROWING year, this year we received my hero ( my mom had leukemia, and we were prepared to fight with her , we rushed her to the hospital on multiple occasions and for a month she was in the hospital, so we took care of 2 homes and prayed and believed in a MIGHTY GOD, who can do ALL THINGS, well after the month was up , she was CLEARED OF IT ( THANK YOU JESUS) and I rented a billboard and I TOLD EVERYONE, she was coming home, she beat the leukemia ( ALL THANKS TO GOD) I watched as all those years it was MY TURN to help her, Everyday is a NEW DAY and we don’t look months in advance, we are taking day by day. 2024 was the year I GREW MENTALLY, and I watched my mom BEAT what was impossible.. LUKE 1:37 For with God nothing shall be impossible

I vow to God this dull December day
that faith and love will greet the coming year
as valiant, righteous knights opposing hate
unarmored and outnumbered, fate unclear.

My sword of truth shall drip with cobalt ink,
each slash, riposte, and stab incising verse
beneath corroded alloy chainmail links
’til evil waves the white, all ranks disperse.

But while this vital battle rages on,
I’ll raise my shield to spare the innocent—
its coat of arms: Mosaic of a Mom,
poetic scene with eighty thousand dents—

ensure their laughter’s heard above the roar
and ugliness of Moralistic War.

2024 Sing,Dance,Act
Best
Better
The Bomb
Graduate 2024 Sing your song!
Best
Better
The Bomb
Graduate 2024 Dance to your prom!
Best
Better
The Bomb
Graduate 2024 Act cool, Act fast, Act like a grown up for your mom!

What pushes us forward while keeping us grounded is often the place where our dreams were founded.
We hold them close to our chest hoping that they will propel us to our best,
We have chosen each because of the morals and values they teach.
Like feeling the sun on your skin and the fresh air you’re taking in will guide you to understand that in the grand scheme, these problems you face be that of a grain of sand.
Fortify your mind, for you will find that what you keep there will become your crosses to bear.
But don’t forget your physical self and put your body away on a shelf, allowing it to slip away until you find yourself beginning to fray.
Hold the people near who mean the most and lean on them when you fear you’re at the end of your rope.
Keep them close through the good and the bad, cherish the memories, and remember that social media perfectionism is a lying fad.
Your family, whether chosen or birth, truly love you to the ends of the earth, much further I’m sure if you ask them.
Be an example to them, for they look up to you but remember they want the you that is true.
Work towards that joy that blooms from inside, that’s so abundant, there’s no place for anger or lasting sadness to hide.
Set the boundaries when you need to because if you don’t, they will carelessly walk all over you.
Put your family you created before all others, and do what it takes to give them your best. Take care of them for that is where your future rests.
I’ve shared with you what keeps you moving because you’ve got a lot of thoughts continuously blooming.
This year brought a range of strong emotions but I would sail the entire ocean to cut the cord on toxic patterns and get back to focusing on what matters.
Cheers to 2025, may this be the year that I truly thrive.

When I think of 2024, I think: “best year of my life,”
Because this is the year that I became your wife.
The year we said “I do” standing before our loved ones,
With our toes in the sand, in front of the setting sun.

This is the day I had been dreaming of,
For thirteen years we have been sharing our love.
We started dating when we were only sixteen,
Simultaneously knowing, and not knowing, we’d be living this dream.

Building this foundation with you over the years
Has only strengthen my love and lessened my fears.
You know me better than anyone; you love every part of me
And I do the same for you- it all comes naturally.

We came together effortlessly, as if we were meant to
Whether you believe so or not, I believe that to be true.
From the beginning, I knew our connection was divine
Even if I didn’t have those exact spiritual beliefs at the time

It was a feeling deep within me, one that got loud when you walked in
It was strong yet calming… a sort of intuition from within.
I knew you were going to be someone special in my life,
And I somehow knew that one day I would be your wife.

We both knew it then, which is why we didn’t care about the timeline.
People would ask questions and judge, but we knew that everything would align.
Thirteen years later, we got married on our dating anniversary,
Uniting us forever and sealing our love for eternity.

As we continue to grow old, I will always remember our special day
Deep in my heart and soul, the fond memories will stay.
They warm me from the inside out, bringing up happy tears.
I know our love will only continue to grow stronger over the years.

In 2025, the dawn will break,
A year of promise, a path to take.
With goals ahead, so bold, so bright,
A future waiting, full of light.

To grow in wisdom, deepen grace,
To meet each challenge face to face.
With every step, a lesson learned,
A world of progress to be earned.

In 2025, I’ll find my way,
Through brighter mornings, bolder days.
A heart more open, free from doubt,
With dreams and goals that shout and shout.

To lift the voices of the unheard,
To listen closely, every word.
To build connections, break down walls,
And rise together when life calls.

With every student, every friend,
I’ll work to help them to transcend.
To guide, to teach, to help them see,
The potential in their hearts to be.

In 2025, I’ll challenge fear,
Step forward boldly, draw more near.
To seek new knowledge, spark new fires,
To fuel the dreams and deep desires.

With each new day, I’ll take the chance,
To lead with love, to teach, to dance.
To make a difference in every way,
And celebrate the work I’ll do each day.

The goals ahead are filled with might,
And I will walk with steady light.
In 2025, I’ll boldly claim,
A year to rise, to grow, to aim.

In 2024, a moment shone bright,
A day when everything felt just right.
The classroom buzzed with quiet pride,
As understanding grew from side to side.

A breakthrough bloomed, soft and clear,
A quiet smile, a spark of cheer.
A student reached a place so new,
And in that moment, strength just grew.

The hard work paid, the effort true,
A bond of trust in all they knew.
In that small moment, a world was changed,
And everything felt wonderfully rearranged.

A memory to carry, warm and near,
A reminder that growth is always here.
2024 brought joy anew,
A year of progress, of dreams in view.

Rolling them dice
In this world of mine
Gambling at loves price
Yes, I am fine!

Read between the lines
Cause, I will not say
What my mind confines
Please, will you stay?

Must I tell you a tale
Or tell you how I really feel
Instead, I could run and bail
Or make love an ordeal!

Maybe I will give you a clue
The chaos I have become
Just to be true
What a sacrifice to come!

The love between us
Could be a distant memory
Is there any more to discuss?
Oh quite contrary!