If you had asked me as a kid
What do you want to do or be?
Back then I knew that my answer
Was that, I just want to be me

I was so crafty with my hands
And I just had a way with words
But in a world that wants success
I felt my art was for the birds

Though, I wondered who would listen
For creatives have to lobby
To convince themselves and others
That it’s more than just a hobby

So out of fear, I shifted gears
To a career that was accepted
Because the work I truly loved
Was so heavily rejected

When you say that you’re an artist
People draw their own conclusion
That you need to find a “real” job
And live not in disillusion

But my heart could not continue
To live a life that was adrift
I knew that I had a purpose
And there was money in my gift

Against the odds, I wrote and drew
Some poems and pictures far and wide
And I knew no one could stop me
Nor the power I have inside

Today I have proudly written
Over three hundred lovely poems
And my art can be found thriving
On the walls of serval homes

Don’t let the world tell you your worth
To have you living in a box
You hold the key to your success
Go break the chains and change the locks

If you asked me that same question
I would not sway or hesitate
I know who I’m destined to be
You see, I was born to create

The idea of giving up seemed so easy to me
To throw in the towel
And simply just be..I don’t know just didn’t want this anymore
Whatever was left that person would have been a shell of me

Not only would I have lost myself
But the idea of who I was
The creative side of me
My dreams
Then I would have allowed my mental state to eat me alive

During that, I was ready for that darkness
There were times when I wanted to feel empty
Be nothing

Made decisions that I knew were necessary

Therapy how I needed you but was too nervous to dive in
Faced my fear it helped make things clear in my life
Talking to someone who knows what they are doing is a wonderful relief

Medicated the one thing I never thought I would have done
I’m so happy I did
For the first time in a long time, my depression is not toying with me
The anxiety that riddles me is at bay.
After a whole year on this, I came to terms with who I was
And who I will never be again

Being a work in progress is who I am

Always trying is who I am
Never dampening on my dreams
Always let the creativity shine

Be that beacon of hope, love, mindfulness, and happiness.
Is what I need to do

The idea of giving up became a distant dream to me.

Dear Unsealers,

Someone once said in an interview that in order to have good mental health you should do something that makes you feel alive. Not just one day, but every day for every month. I found that answer kinda beautiful: not only because I could relate to it, but also because it’s one thing to exist in this life and it’s another to live it. You may be wondering what this has to do with nearly giving up on something you love, but I feel like the answer is fairly obvious: how can you ever be successful if you can’t even love yourself?

That’s a question that’s haunted me for years. I’ve always wanted to be a famous author, to work on movies and TV shows, and maybe even make a video game. I always thought I had what it took to accomplish these things, but my mental health began to set me back further and further. On the night of November 13th, 2023, my life was permanently changed. I didn’t know it then, but my anxiety was going to start crippling me: the right side of my body going numb as I struggled to move it, or taking my voice and locking it behind a failing mouth. It’s amazing how our mental health can transform our bodies into something unrecognizable – a scary new that you wouldn’t think possible, and yet somehow remain the same empty shell. I’ve been trying to nurture that empty shell into a human again, but it’s super hard once you let your body and brain give up on you. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it to fight everyday in hopes of being better.

Life isn’t easy. It’s actually the hardest thing we’ll ever do. I want to say that you’re going to be alright and that your goals, ambition, and hard work will pay off, but in reality you’ll never be successful until you can love every inch of yourself. Don’t be afraid to look in the mirror and point out the things you love about yourself. Don’t be afraid to go out into the world while being too big or even too small. Learn to love yourself now and celebrate your wins, your losses, your achievements, your failures, and your flaws. If you can love yourself through anything, then you’ll be successful in everything. Every day, do something that makes you feel alive. Do it every day of every month.

I still plan to accomplish my goals of writing, filmmaking, and video game development. I still dream of the day that my name is out there and people are reading my books, watching movies I’ve been a part of, and playing games I’ve written storylines for. I hope that those of you who are reading this can one day join me in celebrating the life we’ve all worked hard to accomplish, and then maybe we can look each other in the eyes and know that we fought for our right to love ourselves no matter what others think or the setbacks we’ve faced. This is to self love. A powerful feeling that can take you past the stars, past the moon, and to somewhere far greater.

Lifetime
By. A.E. Colin

Cover my hands with yours
While life opens its doors
I look up at the skies
As I open my eyes
Troubles in life does not last
Leave all the bad in the past
Today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present
Do not live life in resentment
Take my hand, and I’ll take yours
Life has so much in store
I know it seems like life is tough
Like all you are doing is not enough
But hang tight, we will make it through
There is so much more in store for you
Take a deep breath I have your hand
I’ll catch you wherever you land
All will be okay
Because there is always a brand new day

My name is Timothy.
I’m a schizophrenic but take my meds.
I was diagnosed in 2004 and with my guide The Lord-the med’s help!
I’m also an ex drug addict, alcoholic and convict…
But even if I would think of this again-I’d get sick!
And because of the youth that has committed suicide,
I’m now an x smoker, No more nicotine Can I hide!
You may check up on me in the future,and if you will, I’m greatly obliged.
All you dear teens mean so much to me,
Please never think you’re not worth it, Because you are!
I understand where you’re coming from.I’ve been there and not dumb.
Find no reason naughty or nice to ever think of ending your life.
You’re beautiful.I promise daily prayed for by many,
I’m now also a Christian and I pray for you plenty!
I love you. Jesus loves you more. I pray for you, Jesus prays for you more.
Anything at all I may ever do I promise I will do it for you.
Always remember Jesus does everything better!
It takes great character to do what you do in the world today,
And you have it in you.I promise, just seek life along your way!
Something I love and gave not up on, by daily walking with my great God…
In the ending year of 2006 a man gave me a Bible,
I’ve read and studied it since that day, and loved it all the while!
This I still daily Continue to do, it changed my life and it can change yours too!
I loved it so much, I decided to go to it’s teaching school…
From the school of hard knocks to the school of God’s grace so cool!
Northeast Ohio Bible Institute, had for me taught and explained the Good News!
2008 or 2009, I started when God told me, Tim now it’s time…
About 4 years hot right on trail.I thought this lot I will surely fail.
I wanted to give up.I wanted to quit, for I was back slidden in the life that I lived.
But for sure The teacher of the class said don’t quit but get back on track!
So I buckled down and ate my spinach.And wouldn’t you know it?I surely finished!
I won and it was fun graduated with a C.And that’s not bad for somebody like me!
But oh, how sad it would have been if I’d have tucked tail and ran from the degree.
Even though I was so messed up, with at that time current thoughts of suicide…
God wouldn’t let me go, for He promised, I will never leave you.I have your best in mind!
Surely I knew that He got this, and so glad I was of six years completion!
I still so much love God’s life in me leading, He is the leader.I follow him still,
And wouldn’t you know it?I’m back in another Bible school, what a thrill!
Not just 1, but even 2! Patriot Bible University, and Reformers Unanimous too!
Life is so grand and I am so glad I had not killed myself,
For God has made everything new.So I live for Him, and especially you!
He daily blesses and it’s never the end…
So please don’t give up, for you are the Blessing-my Friend!!!

3-13-24

I did it
I finished nursing school
From the trials I face
This journey felt like an endless race
From my own mess that I could create
Oh how I’m so thankful for Gods Grace
Oh how I’m so grateful for Gods hands that are place
Placed on me
Because even with my glasses are on
I could hardly see
Oh how I’m so grateful that GOD never took his hands off me
His guidance
His wisdom
My mistakes
My emotional healing
Results in giving God The Glory
He is my writer to my endless story
Cc:Rayven Washington

These days,
black holes of dark are in my face
but somehow the sunlight still flickers through to remind me
that there is life and purpose here still.
The geese fly north instead of south because spring is whispering:
the celebration of blossoms and babies to be birthed.
And while I want to fall into all the black holes in front of my face because my baby sister as an adult at 34, a mama of two kids, was murdered — I want to just hold her warm body close to mine in an embrace while we laugh at the consistency of the homemade sausage gravy being too thin because we didn’t measure the water correctly and hear our kids hoo and ha over it as well as they sit near one another in cousin love and connection—I know my sister is blocking the paths down the black holes in front of my face because she wants us to have more silly sweet breakfasts together.
I just want to not see violence when I see a Disney cartoon or I want to see the benign when I walk into bookstores but all the guns, and all the words: kill, murder, death, darkness, evil stare at me as I try to just buy a magazine and a pack of Skittles. I cannot escape this reality. “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” Black on black.
I just want to cheer at a game and talk about if the popcorn is too salty but I cannot – all I can think about is the list the murderer used after he terrorized my sister before he introduced her to the spirit world.
So, yeah, I want to give up somedays to see her in the spirit world, but she tells me to walk ahead, she’s with me – holding me and holding us all as we try to put the pieces together and rise above all this darkness and let the light and sunshine brighter and heal us all and allow the spring to flourish. So, I know those dark holes will eventually disappear but now they are what I see.