Dear little seed, one day she’ll see
That she will become who she is meant to be
This is a letter to whom she once was
This is a letter to all the diamonds in the rough

When she was just a little seed
They asked her what she wanted to be
She sat in silence, she didn’t know what to say
Her life was just starting, she still had such a long way

A moment went by, the other seeds were sown
And she was starting to do things on her own
Among the other seeds, she tried to be
And I watched from afar waiting patiently

People began to marvel at what the others became
While she just stayed in the same place
More time went by, many seeds sprouted
Except for her, she feared she’d been forgotten

They merrily went on their way
Off to greater gardens to find their own space
Some became roses and daisies as beautiful as can be
And then I looked back at our lonely seed

She remained alone in her tiny pot
She became the seed that everyone forgot
She started to sprout, yet no one saw
But I was there to see it all

The sun beat upon her leaves so green
She was the strangest “flower” you’ve ever seen
Months have gone by, there were still no blooms
She won’t be entering the garden with the others anytime soon

She was just a plant, she didn’t know who she was
She knew that she’d never be good enough
She had no beautiful colors, just plain leaves
Maybe she was just a waste of a seed?

A year went by, her leaves remained green
But this mysterious plant finally had a change of scene
Into a beautiful greenhouse where the sun was her guide
It kept her warm, gave her light, and love it provided

She grew and grew, but for my eyes only
A beautiful yellow flower from the seed that was lonely
She welcomed the rain and the morning dew
She welcomed bees and butterflies too

This is the story of the seed who’d never be
This little seed used to be me
Many didn’t understand me, neither did I
I thought I’d never be enough no matter how hard I try

I’ve seen others bloom, and into their own gardens they went
But there was nothing wrong with me, my time had not come yet
My flowers took longer, but my leaves remained green
It was God secretly working behind the scenes

Now that I’ve bloomed, I can finally see
That I am part of a story written just for me
My life looked like nothing worth putting on paper
When in reality, I just haven’t found my way yet

Although I can recognize my own colors now
Sometimes my thoughts still get lost in the crowd
Comparison truly is the thief of joy
But this garden in life is for all of us to enjoy

As flowers, we continue to bloom and grow
We were meant to do more than just go with the flow
There’s a place in the garden made just for you
To be just who you are, and to do what you do

Others may bloom faster than you
But keep watering your soil, God’s not through
Underneath is something made with love
And you, my flower, are more than enough

MISadventurous this journey has been, an UNDERcurrent at its best, up STOOD obstacles, truly a mess!

MISaddressing me proves UNDER appreciation, but still your side I’ve STOOD by.

MIShandled and ransacked, I held in my screams, feelings of scUNDER, I STOOD mute clenching lips and fists, only daring to breathe.

MISprinted fingers UNDERStand I have the right to remain, I STOOD charged with a crime no man could name!

MIStrust kept me UNDER investigation, overSTOOD fingers always pointing!

MISlead, false impressions had me UNDER, by my side thought you’d fight, you said you STOOD for what was right!

MISs raise your right hand, swear to tell the truth, UNDER oath you are to be and before the jury you’ll have STOOD.

MIScounted votes omit recognition, UNDER high pressured capacities I perform, only to be withSTOOD.

MIScalculated assertions UNDERbid my value, nevertheless my worth STOOD out.

MIStrial this is sure be, UNDERwhelming evidence in place of truth STOOD against me!

MISdeeds you performed, you deceivingly sUNDERed the friendship, I had STOOD on tip toes to reach.

MISused my vulnerability, gazUNDERed my strength, this bully I’ve out STOOD though it hurt when you hit!!!

MISinterpreted words time and time again, hurled insults and accusations, I just don’t UNDERstand, shield raised I STOOD hoping one day this will end.

MISrepresented by your counsel, UNDERpeopled in my defense, distraught I STOOD feeling most certainly helpless…

MISconstrued my abilities, a blUNDER you proudly STOOD with.

MISjudging me, you UNDERhandedly sentenced me to be STOOD lonely, humiliated for all to see!!!

MYSterious is this UNDERtaking, I STOOD confused; was I really wrong for loving you?

But here it is, the real, the truth revealed.
This has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with you…
The reason I am, “Mrs. Here’s a tissue, Mrs. Why are you so blue?”,
Mrs. Unaccompanied, Mrs. Un Withstood, but almost always mostly know as Mrs. Under Stood

Movable joints, as if freshly greased.
My elbows and knees will move easily while I watch Sunsets in the East.
Silver shafts peak through honey brown, as if touched by a wand.
My hair will be healthy and shine even if I once was blonde.
Adrenaline shifts down to lower gears, even grinding to a halt.
My anxiety will melt away as I drink a strawberry malt.
Numbers steadily climb as they reach heights never dreamt of.
My bank account balance will stay full like the belly of a content dove.
Floating high into the clouds, light as a feather.
My heart will pitter patter as I read countless love letters.
Gravity bends light, and one can see for miles from atop the tallest mountain.
My pride will exude for my child from every cell as if it’s a perpetual fountain.
Spears, bullets and missiles soar through the atmosphere yet are deflected.
My armor will hold steady, and my inner peace will be protected.
Wood, stone, and concrete form a cocoon around a soft and warm oasis.
My heart will be content, as I learn to be satisfied with life’s basics.
Bombs diffuse as ancient frequencies encompass all that exists.
My ultimate wish comes true as I learn to surrender to life and simply no longer resist

Another year for the books
Many trips into the unknown
What a long journey this has been
But I didn’t go through it alone

My body is no longer my prison
But a shell that I must keep
With reconstructions here and there
It has become the home for me

I walked through a garden of roses
I walked through the streets of L.A.
Spotted “New Flowers” in cracks on the ground
They brightened even the darkest of days

Some of the flowers have withered
Dead leaves fell in their place
I’ve found new joy in bare branches
For everything has its time and place

The seasons don’t change where I live
But I change with every step as I grow
Everything is here for a moment
I welcome, I love, I let go

What will I take away from this year?
It’s hard to choose just one
Each moment was a puzzle piece
Crafted by God’s love

Open doors led to friendship
A fellowship as well
You took a plane, I took the train
And we created stories to tell

This year was a garden of memories
I’ve planted the seeds that you sent me
The kindest gesture in the form of a gift
But the greatest gift of all is your friendship

Thank you for your warm hugs
Thank you for your prayers
Thank you for all you’ve blessed me with
And always being there

Briskly shuffling my feet, brushing off the chill of the morning air. Everyone piling into the car which had been packed the night before. Sun hasn’t even risen, and we must remain on schedule. Arriving late, we cannot do, our flight will not delay. An hour’s drive to arrive, finally we made it. Finding a parking space, easy, but why am breezing by the loading dock for the second time? Check in bags, boarding pass, on to the next line. TSA, put that away, no water bottles getting by.

Done and done, now we await our plane to arrive. I’ve never flown before and for my children, bravery will I perform. Another line, but this time onto the plane we’ll ascend. Down the small hallway, I see the small entry, leading into a compact space. The engines rave and the tires roar. Into the sky, we lift, up, up, we soar, turn, then we shift. Below my feet there is no surface only streams of influx, keeping this tin can afloat. Turbulent tumults rattle my seat, but the fear I thought I’d have, was nowhere to be seen. This challenge I carried all my life must now proclaim its defeat.

The first descent lays over in Orlando; sunshine and a warm breeze. Our second descent brings us to paradise, our long-awaited event. A roar of applause washes over the passengers, and beautiful song over the intercom. A song that rings out in my heart and from my mind the words have never departed, “Yo te quiero Puerto Rico, yo te quiero Puerto Rico.” Departing at a fast pace, I make my way to the baggage carousel. I break into a Sprint eager to make your acquaintance. When I finally laid eyes on you, my contentment I did not hide. “Bienvenido a Puerto Rico,” your words dressed as fancy invitations. Bystanders stare as our affections overflow proven by shrieks and squeals.

Finally, we made it, can’t believe we’re all here. I’m standing in the place I thought I’d never see. The climate is a major change. The air warm, thick, and heavy. It sticks to me as if I’ve just been layered in sweet candy. The night sky and the beautiful landscape dazzle as my eyes dance from one side to the other. So many things to see and everything I want to discover. The homes sprinkle the mountain sides as colorful as the rainbow. Each neighbor a different flavor, though our dwelling was my favorite one of all. La Casita Amarilla, even more beautiful than the pictures told. Your face is bright and not ashamed. You’re small but very bold. Luscious green grass surrounds your exterior, beautiful mountain ranges paint the background. In the dark, it is to me, that the Coqui sings, while in the hammock to and frow I softly swing. The sun shines bright, rising early to give light, like a kiss, it also offers its warmth generously, just like an embrace. The rain comes down with the beautiful sound shhhhhhhhhhhh, it calls me from my sleep. This extravagant curtain on every side, glistening, it surrounds me, from heaven to the earth coming down, bowing at my feet.

I don’t feel like a visitor, this is the place that I am meant to be. The people are kind, smiling as you pass. A gentle nod, a Buen Dia, along with Buen provecho as you prepare to feast. The streets are full of music. The Bachata a consistent bidding. The food has made me smile. The ocean has captured my tears. My shoes are dusted with sand and seashells have my pockets full. I’ve been allowed to place my hands on family I haven’t seen in a year or more. This island has brought so much joy, enough for me to store.

I couldn’t help but shed a tear and let it wash away with the swell. The thought of leaving you behind, this story I don’t want to tell. Every year we come together sharing our day of birth. Crossing the ocean, for you, I came in honor of our day. May we both live to see it this is something that I pray for. My best friend, the girl with the same face, my lifelong playmate, my twin. Being this far away from you is a challenge proven. The love we have for one another no one can ever ruin.

As I pack my bags, I bid farewell to this Island that has been so kind. The hardest thing to leave here is you girl, my silent communicator, the reader of my mind. I take my seat, and my heart breaks. I couldn’t keep it in. Bye for now, best friend, I can’t wait to see you again. Long layovers finally bring us home to Oklahoma. The cold breeze welcomes as the emptiness makes its grip. The cold night air whips around, whispering in my ear. Already I miss you and there’s no way to make you appear. 2,232 miles away My heart now resides. I swapped it in exchange for the one I now clutch on a key chain. The chill makes me pull my jacket closer. The breeze of blue surrounds, but a warm glow is left in my heart, more than enough to warm me.

Disclaimer:
This is a warm drink, sip slowly.
Appreciate the notes hidden within the ingredients.

Hey, You…or shall I say Me?

In correspondence with Myself, I offer this Memoir.
The singing of an unsung dedication.
Merits to You; I declare to also be Me.

I’d like to open this letter of appreciation, connect various clues,
While Journeying amidst the gratitude.

You accepted a mission, the lively hood of enduring,
As if it were some kind of trend.

Here in this place, I attach my fist pin, on the day the bronco ride of your life began.

Beyond 4lbs. and 11 oz, You prevailed,
Eluding the proclamation to be “the weaker twin.”
From Struggling to live, to living to defend.
You stood up for Her. Your other half from the womb, Your best friend.

CHEERS!
To making laughter the language I deeply comprehend.
A Smile from ear to ear is always a Means to soothe, express delight, and to amend.

Full is my heart!
Melodies escape the chamber guarded by Your lips.
Melodies made to worship, mourn, and to uplift.

“Hear Hear,”
To Your wanting of more each day.
Reaching higher is a gift. Allow Yourself to imagine, to dream, and occasion to drift.

I concur
Desiring discovery, You inquire with persistence, uncovering one thing and another.

Prompted by a basic, “What if?”

I thank You for being the person that those leaning on You can depend.

Standing Ovation, BRAVO!
You offer presentation of Yourself unapologetically. Classy, Brassy, and Tiff.
Shamelessly portraying yourself, unaware of how to be anyone else.

Much oblige
Clinging on to The Most High,
Resting on assurance of a VICTORIOUS WIN He promised to provide!

Now, Concerning the dreams You were unable to apprehend.

I sigh at the thought of you being given unto love.
A devoted characteristic of You;
Even when they treasured it with the underside of their shoe.

PERMISSION GRANTED
Relieve the reservoir.
Release built up pressure,
Allow the dams to overflow.
Rushing down the mural of your face.
Liberate the pain residing deep within.
Mourn those No longer counted to be a friend.

You chose life when poisonous thoughts lusted for an end.
For this I thank you Most of all, you didn’t bend.

I salute Your courage
Being fluid when things got stiff.
You came out swinging. Never considering,
against the wall Your back would be pinned.
deemed unable to recognize the future you had planned.

LOOK AT YOU!
Picking up the pieces and creating a new outlook;
Although the image held up before You had shattered when shook.
You persevered Searching for a line of silver, covered in soot.

CONGRATULATIONS!
No looking back
Once the foot met the pavement, that was that.
Bravery made room for love again this time it fluttered, lingered, and did transcend.
This Love Granted strength,
In turn, advancing Me beyond barriers placed by those who hardly dare to dream.
You have become Immune to the projections of doubt and self-limitations.
Heroically we display our talents
Ever pursuing of The Summit, You were said to ONLY “hope” to reach.

You REFUSED collapse under pressure,
RELUCTANT to buckle,
RELYING firmly on what You believe.

When Deterioration was Determined to Dim my Light.
You were Indestructible, Thank you,
I know you’ve had many rough nights.

I Wish I had the power to step into a memory
Giving appeal to Deja Vu
I’d Place my hand upon your shoulder
Illuminating the illusion that had trapped you

Although adverse,
Possibilities may yet be obtained.
You are a Beacon of inspiration to Me, the future of You.
Thank You for holding Memories as passwords, that unlock the secrets of this constructed identity.

I RAISE A GLASS!!!
Even though the experience tasted sour, I applaud You for making the attempt.
I must say we aren’t half bad considering the story we have lived.
So Here’s to learning from the past, mistakes are the Alma Mater.

As I took a trip down memory lane
I thought I’d write you a letter
It’s a letter in your memory
One I’ll carry with me forever

It was Valentine’s Day 2011
The story of your new life begins
I wandered through the shelter aisles
I was looking for a special friend

Several people passed you by
And at first, I did too
But you wouldn’t stop crying in your cage
Begging me to pick you

I remember your big hazel eyes
And your gigantic ears
And the big red bow tied around your neck
And how your face was stained with tears

I knew from that moment you were the one
And you were the one every day after
You were sick and you were scared
But you still managed to bring me laughter

Those few years went by so fast
They were almost a blur to me
We went to the park, you learned new tricks
And sometimes you struggled to breathe

Your heart slowly began to give way
But you still put up a fight
Every moment was a precious gift
During your final year of life

But the time had come, you could fight no more
I tried everything to keep you alive
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done
But I had to say goodbye

An empty basket sat in the car beside me
The night I left the vet’s
I only had your collar in my hand
And I came home to your empty bed

I miss you every day of my life
But there are days I miss you more
You were my very first baby boy
The one I loved and adored

But you are not suffering anymore
You are running wild and free
Over the rainbow bridge
And watching over me

Okay, maybe you’re not really watching me
It’s just my silly dreams
I’ve been holding onto your memory
Since September 2019

You looked back for a moment
It was time for you to fly
Over the rainbow bridge
Our final goodbye

You could’ve been anyone’s dog
But I’m so glad that you were mine
I’ll miss you forever
My Valentine

Yes, I’ll miss you forever
Eight years just wasn’t enough time

Another year down this road
In many ways I’ve grown
Spontaneity, once my greatest fear
A trip into the unknown

I’ll stop seeing my body as a prison
A cage that I can’t escape
For this “prison” has fought many fights
And is still fighting until this day

I’ll view the world with a little less fear
And give open doors a chance
Tomorrow isn’t promised
So I’ll make every moment last

I’ll tend to my own garden
Watering the field in which I lay
No more searching for greener pastures
Just staying in my lane

The spring will bring new flowers
The weeds may still arise
I’ll nip all problems in the bud
I’ll no longer keep them inside

I’ll be a better person
I’ll learn from my mistakes
I’m not as lost as I once was
Maybe this year I will find my way

We are shackled by insecurities
Followers and likes make up our worth
External validation is what we seek
It’s a never-ending curse

But I was looking in the wrong places
The answers are found deep within
So I’m reintroducing myself to me
And so this new journey begins

Hello, it’s nice to meet you
I’ve longed for a best friend
I decided to become the things I need
No longer living a life of pretend

I tell myself I’m worthy
And validation starts with me
I no longer need to look elsewhere
I’m exactly where I need to be

I was born to be successful
I was born to share my gifts
I was born to give love to this world
I was born to build and uplift

I am worthy because I’m loving
I am worthy because I care
I am worthy and uniquely created
Hand-crafted with so much to share

You are worthy when you wake up
You are worthy when the sun sets
You are worthy and I love you
In case no one has told you that yet

Hello there,

I’ve always been painfully shy. I swore that I’d never approach anyone, and that I’d never let anyone know how I feel because being mysterious was my safety blanket. It was my safety blanket for many years, but soon I began to realize that it was also my shackle; a personal prison.

In order to set myself free, I had to allow myself to be uncomfortable.

But one day I did it.

I missed him. I thought about him daily. I worried about him. I needed to let him know how I feel.

The moment the words left my heart and mind and made their way to him, I felt overcome with anxiety and relief.

We grow when we leave our comfort zone, but we also battle thoughts from the enemy. Sometimes we are the enemy. But those thoughts in your head are just words. Words have power. They can either build you or break you. You have the power to choose what they will do to you.

He told me I made his day, but little did he know that he made mine even more.

Never underestimate the power of words, the power of a simple action.

It was that moment that constantly reminded me how important it is to let people know how much you care about them. The feeling of regret is much worse than my fears of the unknown. Never again will I cower from opportunities to share what’s in my heart.

And please friend, don’t let your fears shackle you as well. The greatest opportunities started out with a simple action. May that simple action of yours take place today.

Love, Cherie.

Dear Cherie of the past,

This is a letter from your future self; let’s call me “Future Cherie.” I wanted to let you know that I admire your strength, perseverance, and the fact that you kept moving forward even when you had no idea where you were going. If it wasn’t for your determination, I wouldn’t be here writing this letter to you. As you are reading this, I know that you and I are in different places in our lives. Right now you aren’t sure if you’d be set free from the burdens that have shackled you for so long. But please, keep thinking about me. I am here to keep you going.

Please don’t look back and wonder why you didn’t take these leaps of faith sooner. Looking back will only hinder you from moving forward. The right time to start is now, as you read this. I know that people keep pressuring you to get married and to start a family because they think that your clock is ticking, but don’t listen to them. We all have our own paths and purposes in our lives. Yours might look unconventional to others but trust me, you know what you are doing. You always have. Don’t just do things for the sake of it. Good things take time.

I am a huge believer of divine timing. There is no need to regret. If you open your eyes and ears and learn to discern God’s voice from the voices of this world, you will realize that life doesn’t always have to be as complicated as we make it. I say this over and over: trust the process. I know that you are still learning. Please stop leaning on your own understanding, it is causing unnecessary stress.

I’m telling you right now that I am living the life you dreamed of. It’s not impossible. It just seems impossible to you right now because you are shackled by fear of the unknown. But there is beauty in the unknown. Soon you will take that leap, and you will never look back.

As you are reading this, your heart is healing from the person who gained your trust and betrayed you. I know you prayed that he would be the one for you. Everything seemed right, but believe me he is not the one. You just need to take off those rose-colored lenses that you were wearing for too long. The man that I love right now was worth the wait, and I can’t wait for you to meet him. He has been praying for someone like you, you just don’t know it yet.

This journey that you are on right now, is a journey of self-love. It’s a scary one, but this is the most crucial chapter of your life. I look back at it often and I am so grateful for everything. I am grateful for the pain, the heartache, the uncertainty. Everything happens for a reason, and it prepared me for all of the unexpected blessings to come. It’s time you stop hiding, and show everybody the person you were designed to be. You are not here for yourself, you are here for something far greater than you, and always remember that.

I hope you are smiling as you are reading this letter. I smile every day. I look back and wish that I had taken time to really be present and enjoy the simple moments in life instead of always thinking that I should be somewhere else. We often take precious moments for granted. I am so lucky to have an amazing journey to look back on. I’m so lucky to be able to write this letter and have you read it, because not many people get that chance.

Don’t look back and wish that you had taken time to be present and enjoy the simple moments of life. Don’t think that you should be somewhere else. Believe me when I say that you are exactly where you need to be right now. Don’t spend time trying to make sense of everything. Everything will fall into place. Trust the process. I’m so glad that I did.

Please read this letter every day. It’s a daily reminder. One day you will write a letter to your past self too!

Love Future Cherie.