The year 2020 was one to remember and it’s one that I’ll never forget. The year 2001 was also one of those years between graduating high school, starting college two and a half hours away from the towers that collapsed on my TV screen within the first week of school. But, let’s get back to 2020 and how my mental health wasn’t the greatest.

It was March, my job gave me a laptop, a phone, an aruba box, sent me home and said, “figure it out and continue to get work done.” I was and still am in the medical field but on the backend.

The gym I was going to closed down and I lost my outlet to exercise and keep my body moving. I’m an athlete by nature, I’ve been playing basketball since the age of 8, I ran track briefly in high school. My life was completely different than what I was used to.

Confined to a house, and doing everything we were told to in regards to taking care of ourselves. While I was confined to my home, it put me in a big rut and the weather wasn’t the most kind (living in New York is not the greatest when it comes to consistent weather).

As spring turned to summer, the parks were closed until mid-July so no basketball for me. I was dealing with mild anxiety and depression. I would fight it and tell myself, “I’ll be fine” but the reality was, I wasn’t at all. I knew I needed help but as men, we aren’t necessarily told to speak to a therapist to get out what we’re dealing with and experiencing.

Black men are not told to vent out their feelings, emotions and struggles. Granted, I was writing books on men’s issues, I was lying to myself about what I was dealing with and experiencing. I kept telling myself, “I’ll get help when I move out.” Eventually I found an online therapy website and began my journey to getting better mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

I paid out of pocket and it was the toughest two months of my life. My therapist, I will always remember her name and the impact she had on my life. I hid my struggles from those closest to me and it wasn’t until September where I finally opened up to my mother, my aunt and my best friends about my struggles, what I was going through and how I’ve been in online therapy.

My room door would be closed on Fridays and as my mother worked from home in the living room, I’d be having my therapy sessions with my therapist. When I opened up to my mother, she was shocked, surprised but also sad. Sad because I couldn’t open up to her about my struggles, we have been so close but I didn’t feel good enough to tell her.

The shift and change in my life happened when I moved to Phoenix, Arizona on November 30th, 2020. The weather was 75 degrees, the sun was shining bright, people were outdoors running, riding their bikes and basking in the beauty of the backdrop of mountains in the city.

It wouldn’t be long before I bought a bike, rode the trail that was near my house, then I’d find a basketball court to get my workouts in. Days where I’d just stand outside of my apartment in the morning and let the sun rays hit my skin while I look at the mountains and feel so joyous and happy.

My trips back to New York would consist of family and friends telling me how different I was, how happy I looked and felt. That’s when it all sets in, sometimes where you live can determine your mental health. Sometimes the environment we are in needs to change to have a better outlook on life.

I always knew that a slower pace in life, scenery, being outdoors was meant for me. I live in palm trees, mountains, beautiful scenery and bike trails to run or bike on.

Whatever you’re going through in life, you can get through it. I was fortunate and blessed enough to get the help I need along with changing the environment I lived in. I feel comfortable in sharing my journey from struggles to triumph and I’m thankful for it.

It’s made me a better man, human being and it’s partly why I write the books I do. It’s to open dialogue, have uncomfortable conversations but also inspire and motivate each other to change the world.

The world is built on experiences and stories and we need to continually tell them. It’s the only way we’re going to find peace, joy and happiness within our hearts, minds and souls….