Dear Unsealed,
2024 was and is forever changing directions around the world.
As I step up the ladder to look out at the world,
I slip,
I grip,
The sides of the ladder as it staggers slowly to the ground,
All around
The neighborhoods of America
We shout I care!
I kept my goals of diet, focusing, eating healthy and all the other goals I had proposed processing the exchange from 2023 to 2024. I wrote for The Unsealed and Vocal.
My newest accomplishment was writing and producing 18 songs after signing a contract with #distrokid online. That was not planned. I had music training beginning early in life. I utilize Suno AI, Invideo Ai, LTX studios AI, Sora AI to produce videos with my music to publish on you tube. I create music, words, and beats and all that from my heart and soul to make people happy or to talk about political issues through music. I discovered this is my new adventure.
I am still waiting on commissions from Vocal for this year. I am waiting for my royalties from my music. A goal for another story will be written soon.
2024 was a progressive year of changes, elections, and then the non-progressive election of a backwards society person to suppress women, the elderly, the vulnerable of our society. My answer to all of that malarky’ is I will remain who I am as a creative woman of elder age of 75.
The world watches all.
The world will see as the ball
Drops in Times Square 2024.
As before
We salute 2024,
We crash our drinks to 2025,
We are alive
To strive for rainbows,
Not illusions of unicorns,
But truth, freedom, and to be born
To spread love across the world
Of the good, the bad, the ugly.
As I type on my pc to be a ladybug
Of character of values to flow
Across from 2024 to 2025,
More songs, stories, poems, art
Not farts.
So, I summarize my eccentric rant of 2024
As each year goes forward
My music and contract with #distrokid were my unexpected 2024 goal that came true as I walked the path of the year transformation from dark to light.
So bright,
So very light,
Breathe!

Heartfelt Thank you for..
C- Commitment to your purpose
C-Commitment to your faith
C-Commitment to never giving up
Heartfelt thank you for…
H-Honor, keeping self respect
H-Humility to know you have value, without walking on others.
Heartfelt thank you for…
A-Ambition and
A-Aspiring to be better everyday
Heartfelt thank you for…
R-Respect
R-Responsible to care for others.
Heartfelt thank you for…
M-Morals you were taught
M-Me, I am always trying to be, true to be
Heartfelt thank you for…
A-Always being true to self
And what is important to you
Heartfelt thank you for…
I-Interity- Installed and displayed
Heartfelt thank you for…
N-Necessary new beginnings to grow
Heartfelt thanks for…
E-Excellence you apply to everything you do

Heartfelt thanks to you, CHARMAINE!!!

Dear Unsealed,
As a young child I was diagnosed with what they called a “lazy eye.” I was only three or 4 or 5. Those toddler Esotropia runs in families and usually requires surgery to correct. Acquired esotropia occurs in children usually between the ages of 2 and 5. Eyeglasses can usually correct it. seem to conjugate into one perimeter of I was too young to begin wearing glasses.
My mom had surgery on her eye, not mine. I found out later in life when my mom was alive. She explained to me that she could not deal with it, so she had surgery instead of me. I was deeply hurt as I was young and dealing with bullying not her as a grown woman. I loved my mom and always will but that hurt deeply. I learned to forgive her and move on without anger and buy more frames to accompany my wardrobe.
I told my mom I could not see well and was embarrassed about my left eye because the kids were making fun of my disability. My mom was incredibly sad as she had the same eye ailment. We can see but need glasses.
At three, four, and five I was a gregarious spontaneous combustion running around the house, playing with my Kachina dolls, my baby dolls, my mudpies and least of all of these was pretending that the toads were my friends. I was an adventurous child of sorts, and my glasses were in the way, but what was really in the way was I could not see well without my glasses. So, my glasses became a part of my wardrobe, and I had to learn to fit my glasses into my daily routine of trees, toads, and Kachina dolls.
The truth is that the significance of learning to respect and wear my glasses taught me survival and how cruel young toddlers can be. My favorite little boy on the block in our 1950s neighborhood was accepting of my disability. Back in those days people who wore glasses were called four eyes. That is a debilitating bigotry condition of certain types of personalities of certain human beings. I learned to go with the flow. My grandpa Boss was with me teaching me to read and write and music.
Those days are gone now.
I remember a little girl who was so sweet.
I remember a little girl who was so neat.
I remember a little girl who was me,
To be
Grown one day,
Along the way
As I was now a 21-year-old young lady growing up in the crazy seventies entering college after nursing school at age 19. I had a pair of frames to match every outfit in my closet.
Later I began to wear contacts mixing it up with different frames and lots of sunshades.
Now at 75, I am wearing contacts again mixing them up with different frames and reading glasses and computer glasses.
Old habits are a positive virtue in the case of a young toddler beginning to wear glasses to see carrying on to an elder age.
I now look back.
React,
To my younger self of creative play.
Today
I still suffer from lazy left eye syndrome, strabismus, astigmatism, and far-sightedness but hey folks I am human, and we are all with disabilities of some kind. We are human.
As an artist, writer, lyricist and elder I thank the Universe for supplying me with perseverance, longevity, patience, and intellectual capabilities that have helped me continue walk my life path.
To someone else reading this who might say it is no big deal, it is a big deal to a toddler and to humanity that has given humans the ability and ambition to overcome obstacles as they walk their path in their life.
My glasses and contacts are woven together into a web of sight and creativity overcoming the obstacles of a toddler in the 1950s era of bigotry and judgmental style cultures of America at that time.
The learning concave ability of learning to live with strabismus or “crossed eyes”. I had one crossed eye, and I grew up overcoming my disability by wearing many different frames. However, the stigma of bullying that was present in those days has left a scar inside my intellect that I still have to work through with my therapist.
However, I am over the four eyes syndrome bullying. I love my glasses and can shop online and offline looking at cool frames to offset my wardrobe.

Dear Unsealed,
My faith keeps me sane.
There are many twists & turns in my life.
I will be 75 on September 18, 2024.
As one that goes before
Gen Z and other decades I have many stories to tell
As deep as an old wishing well.
I worked at The LA Times,
All day every day.
I met my kid’s dad,
Which turned out to be very sad.
He did not work there.
His twin did.
I met Jekyll & Hyde, I did
But blew it off,
Threw salt over my shoulder for a start.
Neither were in journalism or writing or art.
They were both security guards.
Oh lordy!
As an empath I dated a narcissistic guard
Who pretended to care,
Wined & dined me.
So, it would be
I was so naïve.
Well, that would be I had two C-Sections.
Both were ten pound babies,
One was born 1983,
The other was born 1987,
The year before my mom went to heaven.
This was a marriage of two boomers in the 80s.
The father was from south LA.
The mom is from North Hollywood,
Of her own hood.
I am of worldly DNA.
He is a Black Republican narcissist.
He is a gun loving nut.
He is a woman hater.
So, when I found out he lied to me profusely everyday
Along the way of the everyday
Way, we trod to different roads and ways,
Of how I was so naïve.
I was into college and looking forward of being a reporter soon.
But he manipulated me as a man into marrying him.
He wined & dined my parents under the moon
In REDONDO BEACH pier,
Only to smear
My mom’s name after she died of a massive heart attack 1988.
When he told me he hated my mom & glad she was dead
I cried for days.
My heart was broken that day
I found out he was cheating on me,
It had to be,
More lies!
I traveled to Palm Springs with my boyfriend. I left the boys at their dad’s mom’s house. Upon arriving back to my Burbank apartment, I found out my ex, the kids dad and his twin had locked me out because I vacationed in Palm Springs. I cried for hours.
My plan was to pick the boys up from their grandma’s house. When I called my ex, I was banned from seeing them. He told me I was a bad mom. He spent over 30 grand on a divorce attorney. I spent 600 bucks on my Montgomery Ward attorney. It was a horrific divorce. I loved my boys very much, but the courts took my kids and placed them with their narcissistic dad.
The turning point was when I chose to go on a vacation with my movie boyfriend to celebrate my birthday in the year of 1989.
My ex is still trying to turn my boys and now my grands against me because I am a liberal boho hippie chick who still is an empath, a liberal, equality for all, for gun control and education for all.
I accept the fact that he is holding my personality and belief systems against me. He once told me during the divorce that he had to blame me for everything because he was perfect and wanted to keep his job.
I began with a poem and a prose as I have my entire life but the seriousness of the 1980s events changed my life more than anyone will ever know.
I continued to work in the music and film industry moving forward. I was a union rep for the IATSE at Universal Studios Hollywood, worked freelance for three newspapers, and continued my educational pursuits until I was 51 years old.
However, when I told my grown boys the truth, they were angry with me, calling me a liar. It did not end well. Now my ex, my two boys want to shut me down politically and as a human being. This is probably because I tell the truth, and you do not push a narcissist into the wall because they sting like a honeybee and dig into the person spreading their venom across states and other humans. I have been in therapy for many years. I am much better now. The turning point from being a good mother to becoming a bad human as my ex called me in 1989 was shocking and like a horror film.
I watched a movie from the 80s called, “The Good Mother”, a 1988 movie about a divorced mom with a daughter who meets an artist, and her ex gets custody of the child. The movie is available on Prime Video.
I pray every day for peace, love, & understanding. I will continue my humanitarian activist ways!

Dear Unsealed,
My mottos are from my favorite lady Maya Angelou
“IF you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be”
“You nay not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them”
La vita è bella
I want to share
To the world
The big ball of Earth
Spinning in the sky
My looking forward poem that so relates to my favorite lady poet, Maya Angelou as it similar to my motto of moving forward through the storms.
I found this poem I wrote in 1967 or 1968. I suppose I was beyond my years at that time of my life’s journey. I found out one must ‘carry on’ through the storms that our universe sends us or that we casually ‘bump’ into along the roads we choose throughout our lifetime.
Despite the nays and the ‘you can’t do that’ or ‘you are not college material’ suggestions from a friend of yesteryear. I was already in college, so I tossed her suggestion away into yesterday’s trash bin. Because she knew not how or when or where or what she was talking about.
There are different roads to choose as we reach each decade of our life’s journey in time. I chose the road of different avenues and boulevards along the straight path cause’ I was curious. I don’t regret studying nursing and healthcare. I don’t regret studying union management. I don’t regret studying journalism, art, and film. Now I have so many stories to tell. I have so many songs to write. The avenues and boulevards I strolled down off the beaten straight path taught me lessons to remember in my next lifetime of creation and light.
So, I will share my poem from my back pages of 57 years ago in another time period before computers, cell phones, and AI. Each decade presented a new chapter in my life of fun, work and strife. I don’t look back and say how bad I was for different relationships or different guys in my life each decade. We all meet people along the way. Some people will stay. Some people will go. That’s life in a ‘nutshell’ with detours; the good, the bad, the ugly and the absolutely beautiful scenarios that happened that make me laugh, cry and ‘jump for joy’ in time and space of our universe to live, love and spread light.
“LOOK FORWARD”
Written by Vicki Lawana Trusselli 1967
It’s been a long life,
Had a whole lot of learning.
Had a good time,
But there’s still that yearning.

There’s been bad times
When the way looked dim
I prayed and hoped for better.
Yes, I prayed to her or him. (“God is omnipotent of all genders.”)

Tears have come and gone.
Heartaches I’ve had great,
But each new tomorrow
Opens a new gate.

This gate is bright and shiny.
This gate opened my heart
When I’ve gone wrong
To help me make a new start.

The dark clouds appear,
To which there seems no end
But pray and hope things will change,
That they want be like they’ve always been.

Look forward with a smile
When the end seems near
Don’t give up hope
Just dry that tear,

For your life will change
When you hope and pray
And try and try more each day,
Just over the rainbow there’s a brand-new day.
La vita è bella

Dear Unsealed,
I have learned so many things about life. I will be 75 years old on September 18, 2024. I have seen it all, the good, the bad, the ugly and still move forward with life for as long as I can live out my life with my disabilities of getting old. My brain works well, but my body has slowed down a lot since I had covid 2021.
The major life lesson I have learned is that I should not let guys talk me into fast romance or marriage or moving in on the third date. That may sound ‘wacky,’ but it truly is more helpful to not be boy crazy beginning at 8 years old. I had my first boyfriend at 8 years old. His name was Eric. He was in my second-grade class. We were friends so I thought, then he broke up with me. I ran into my parents’ house crying like a baby. Mom thought that I was physically hurt. I yelled at her, “Mom, Eric broke up with me. He told me to leave him alone. He did not like me. My hair was too curly. I was so upset, mom, I peed in my pants.” Mom looked at me rolling her eyes, tossed her head back, “My dear child, it’s going to be okay. Eric and his parents are moving to New York City next week. Eric broke up with you because he is a baby too and that is the only way he knew to move without hurting you. You have your whole life ahead of you, Vicki.” I sighed, “Okay mom.”
Growing up in eight decades, I kept falling in love and out of love not learning my lessons. My advice to the world is to continue your education. Do not let a ‘dude’ talk to you out of going to college. Do not let jealous people knock your dreams into the dirt. More than once the person trying to crush your dreams is a jealous, fearful person who does not care about you. Follow your dreams of life and focus on yourself as a woman. One needs to love oneself to fully love someone another human being as to live with another human being.
I was raped at 16 years old by five guys on the football team. I had to sweep it under the rug and try to wash away the scariest party night I had ever experienced. The guys were calling me an Indian squaw, stupid ‘whore’, and yelling, “You are no good.” I was devastated.
I kept dating men but had not learned the lesson that I did not need a man.
I studied art, journalism, Business union management, computers, and other subjects of interest. Boys were always barking up my tree. I should have been pickier or just lived by myself.
I married in the 80s. I had no plans for marriage at 30 nor to have children at that time. He swindled me into marrying him and having babies. The lesson I learned from that disastrous marriage is we had nothing in common and I should have ignored the ‘dude’.
We divorced, but I remarried an artist this time. That ended in April 2000 in domestic violence,
After we divorced, I had all these musicians barking up my alley. I followed one to Austin, Texas. I left an excellent job in computers with good retirement. He moved back to LA, and I stayed because my auntie was in her 90s and I wanted to be with her. A lesson from this is my family in Austin were strangers to me. I had not seen them in 40 years. Never move across country on a whim to follow a ‘dude’ to his destiny when it’s probably not your destiny. Check your family out that are strangers and only remember you as a little curly headed throwing tantrums child. Just because they are family does not mean they are your best friend.
I got involved with a ‘dude’ who moved in with me after the third date. I do not advise anyone to do that. I collaborated with the man.
My letter will end here as the chapters of my life are extensive with heartache, pain, joy, laughs, and life ‘happens’ experiences.
My final note to the world is, “As a woman please do not let men interfere with your beauty or your well-being. If they show one bit of jealousy or start dictating your life to you, walk away before the years pass and you say at 74, “OMG! I wish I would ‘of’ or could ‘of’ known about life before all those broken relationships of wrongdoing men ever came into fruition. Watch for red flags to not get involved with a narcissist person period.”

Dear Unsealed,
WHEN DREAMS COME TRUE
DARE TO DREAM
Since I am almost seventy-five
I will tell you a story of my life behind my eyes.
I was one to read music magazines,
All the boy bands and whims
Of rock and roll
Blues and soul
At the incredibly youthful age of ten.
Yes, I did begin to dream to win.
I worked hard.
Played hard.
I studied hard.
It was the seventies,
Then the eighties,
Then the nineties,
I worked at the LA Times in the eighties.
End of the eighties
I was working as a makeup artist.
And let us wind down there.
You might not have time to spare,
As I have thousands of stories to tell
As deep as a wishing well.
The nineties were good,
As I was forty going on twenty-five
As it seemed to a few bees in a hive.
My first dream job was The LA Times,
But I met a man and forgot to be sublime.
My second job per say
Happened in freelance journalism and film
With my new guy
And no rhyme at that time
I worked with The American Indian Movement in the nineties.
I met john Trudell,
And that went well.
We were there to interview
For a documentary film
The Palomino Club of North Hollywood
So, I have stood
In so many good places and even on a whim.
I met Sonny Bono, the Mayor of Palm Springs at a POW WOW
So how
Did I do that you say?
That is for another day.
I joined up with Women in Film
On a whim.
The nineties came along
To sing another song
I met another guy,
A music writer by trade.
My new guy took me to a special party
In Burbank,
To a Christmas party
Really swank.
I dressed up in fancy high heel boots
To walk by my guy in his suit
My dress was a tight mini skirt and top,
And all were cream of crop.
We drove there to the valet,
Then I walked into the door with my guy
Waving at friends in high places
We were sitting at our reserved table
To wine and dine at the insatiable
CMA
Country Music Association Christmas Party
Music, dancing, food, and ‘party hardy’.
I could go on to tell you more,
But I will say later my friend
Before you get bored.
MUSIC TURNS MY WORLD!
This is a tiny burst
Of my adventures of blurs
And good times
Of rhyme
Or reason
For the season!
Love is real
It’s a deal
Of the good, the bad, the ugly
Of time spans of decades
Of love, heartache, laughter, blues
Facades
Of time
To smile at my life
The strife
At almost 75
I have written a song
From my back pages of strife of life.
My song, “I Woke up Alone”
The song
Was published on Apple
A full song on Spotify
Of life, love from above
To be a woman at 75
Alive
Still rocking & rolling
To the beat.
The publication of my song
Was to say the least
My newest job of sweet sighs
Of “I did it.”

Dear Chardy Pooh,

Chardy Pooh you did not Know!
You were so brave, You did not even know how much!
You stood up for self-value. Even when you did not know you were.
You stood up for being different!
You did not know that.
You stood up for peer pressure.
You did not know that.
You stood up for love.
You did not know it.
You stood up for hope.
You did not know it.
You were a strong person who stood for people, rights, love and acceptance!
You did not even know it. You did not know, you had anything to love about yourself. You did not know you had anything to be proud of. That’s why you almost did not write this letter. You did not know, but now you know! You had something to love! Something to be proud of!
I love and am so proud of you Chardy Pooh!!!

Thank you,
Charmaine

To my younger self:

It’s sometimes hard to say “I love you,”
But know, I always do.
You shine bright in a world full of darkness,
with strength and resilience when most would give up.
You possess beauty inside and out—enjoy it, because it does fade 😉
But know that no matter how hard you try to be perfect, you already are.
Made in God’s image,
a princess immaculate in design.
Wise beyond your years,
funny even when you don’t mean to be,
and smarter than you will ever know.
You have a heart of gold—something to be proud of and cherish.
Through pain, you push through and triumph, which is tough at such a young age.
You may not have had the childhood fun some kids had, but you do have love.
You are a leader,
A champion,
A survivor.
You make the world a better place, and your smile lights up every room.

Remember, you are loved deeply and valued beyond measure.
Keep shining bright, for you are destined for greatness.

Love you truly,
Kristina

Dear Grand-Tee,

I really miss you sometimes.
I wonder without you what I’m supposed to be.
To be myself you made me believe, you helped me to see all those things before me.
I know, I believe, I can achieve.
You are my true friend and you are in my heart forever.
You will always be my forever.I never thought in my heart, we would not see forever.
To my life here tomorrow, I have a future because you were there.
I can not go sometimes without crying and even laughing.
I miss you every day. I’m so glad you were here to give me encouragement along the way.
You always gave me a chance, gave me a cheer.
Today is a good day to say Hi Grand-Tee.
I’m so glad you were here.
Even now I feel your sweet love from the grave.
My love, you had to be!
Grand-Tee you made me feel so praiseworthy!
You keep me strong!
You made me hope!
I wish you were here so you can see what has opened..
It is amazing, it seems like you were gone so long.
But in my heart, you can never be gone!
I miss you, I love you.
You are my forever friend, so glad I had.
Because I needed someone to depend.
Tomorrow is gone. Today you are here. Tomorrow is for us.
One day we’ll be together again as a team!

Love you always,
Charmaine

WHAT I LIKED MOST ABOUT MY YOUNGER SELF
Dear Unsealed,
A I look back in time
Of reason & rhyme,
I liked my persistence
Of whom I was in existence
Of time & space
In the rat race
Of life & dreams.
But it seems
I had to go through many changes,
In different decades of stepping into the light
Out of darkness to learn to rearrange,
Various aspects of learning to live
As an empath,
And not even knowing about what path
Was that?
My younger self grew up with my grandpa Boss
Until I was five years old.
After that he passed of a massive heart attack
So many years back
In time
Of reason & rhyme
I have been told,
Grandpa Boss was a writer & sculpturer
Of many lost works now.
He taught me to read & write from birth to age 3
When he was alive.
He called me the apple of his eye.
I would read his books of poetry
Of mostly religious beliefs of his mindset at that time
In my life of reason & rhyme
We would sit on the back porch
& we would talk for hours about how to carry the torch
Of art & creativity & beyond
To express feelings of joy, love, God & life
As I was so incredibly young.
I remember his trips to New York City to publish
His poetry of life, God & love.
I would rush
Into the living room to welcome
Grandpa Boss home from his long trip
From so far away across to the east coast &
away from me & Grandma Carrie Soleta.
My two favorite people,
Grandpa Boss taught me love the written word,
To express my feelings and sip
From the creative cup of cornucopia of life
As a writer of sorts &
Of course, my Grandma Carrie Soleta was a teacher,
Of creative words and the history of humanity.
She loved to sit with me on the piano bench,
As I played music of different chords
& style of religious, blues, rock, country
ETC.
My youthful days are reminisced by clouds and sunshine of that reality as a young child from birth until three years old when my grandpa passed. My grandma continued to nurture me in rhythm, reason & rhyme.
I realize that between my grandparents and my parents I am thankful for those human beings in the time of decades of my life.
At three I was young, naïve, carefree.
When my grandpa passed, I saw a huge dark cloud
Over my head as mom explained to me Boss was dead
In the flesh
But alive in the spirit in the clouds
Of heaven.
I remember my grandpa as a creative, kind person.
I was sad for a while as a little child.
But soon the sun would shine above the clouds of grief,
Of sadness and pain.
What was to remain,
Is this prose of mine
In this decade of my life
To remind me of the two
People who gave me joy & creative endeavors
Of reason, rhyme, & music, history
And to grieve through my music and books and art
Of everyday existence of all my decades
Of life as it fades
Into being old.
I used to respect my grandparents,
As they were my elders and so I was told,
They were wise and watching over me as I dream
And walk through my last decades
Writing & artistic creativity
To say to my peeps,

“Thank you, Grandpa Boss and Grandma Carrie Soleta,
For teaching me the ins & outs of my fate
To realize it is not too late
To continue with chapter 74 of my life,
To continue as I will soon be seventy-five.
Thank you my BFFS for always being there.