Releasing the urge to ruminate on things I need to control, fix or acquire
Focused on redefining my values and recovering my power to inspire
Harboring guilt, shame and fear are no longer on the table
This season is about letting them think, because I know I’m capable
 
Watching the feelings and old beliefs dissipate
Letting go of subconscious excuses to procrastinate
Taking action on these dreams, no time to hesitate!
 
Inviting love and compassion as filters to make decisions
Acknowledging that every experience teaches me how to move with precision
And knowing no matter how big the mistake, I’m never outside of divine provision
My trauma’s not an incision or justification for division

So I’m prioritizing clarity and harmony to activate my dreams and vision

Do you think that it’s possible
for someone to be so good,
that God calls them home
before you think He should?

We say it all the time,
“God must have needed him.”
but a lot of those times,
they didn’t even believe in Him.

There’s no other reason
that you would call him home,
and his beautiful fiancé
would be left all alone.

Now our whole family
is questioning your plan.
Why, God, why
would you take this young man?

You’ve broken the heart
of a father and a mother.
And let’s not even mention
what you did to his little brother.

The ripples flow further,
they hit my wife too.
Her mother is his aunt
now SHE is mad at you.

Granny holds it together,
sewing like a thread.
Even though she’s strong,
she wishes she were dead.

This is so unfair,
and all a bit unusual.
But what do you expect,
when a wedding becomes a funeral?

RIP Bradley Davis. Forever 23.

In the darkness, I’m alone, floating on a cloud of dreams,
where reality blurs and paints a picture of my mind dancing freely,
taking solace in the emptiness,
escaping the inevitable
to a void where struggles on all fronts
dissolve.

To a single adult like me,
name any struggle you’re facing
and I can likely tell you
that I was there before coming here.
Still gonna be waiting for me
for when I get back though.

God, it was serene, the feeling,
like being wrapped in a cozy blanket
on a cool night in your bed;
while your worries melted like butter
into a fleeting absence.

And when there’s night,
there’s day,
and like the sun in the world,
yours will rise again in your mind,
which reminds me of
the one thing I always loved about
the darkness,
because in it there’s nothing there,
no light to illuminate
any harsh reality
or truth
waiting to cause havoc in
your heart and mind.

And if it were up to me,
I’d manifest my thoughts into a person,
and kill it
so my mind can finally have peace.

I’d stay in the darkness forever,
if that meant being free.

Oh raven you foul omen
Singing your song again and again
Your wretched melody
Humming through the wind
Beating against my eardrum
Slowly shredding against the red thread of fate
Perched on my shoulder as you patiently wait
Watching as the thread is continually thinned
Sitting there, just singing your perish song
Wishing to drag us both to a place where I do not belong
Oh how long shall you beckon?
Oh how long shall your song peck away at the worms crawling under my flesh?
Your damnable whisper, so gentle and somber,
Yet with every verse I feel the air growing crisper
Every score eats away at my sanity
Unraveling the very fabric of who I am, as you continue singing note after note
Never satisfied until the day I drag a knife across my throat
But raven, do you not see?
Oh raven, surely you must know that I shall not allow your symphony to be the death of me?
For now I beseech you to harken unto the joyous song which I sing
Praise unto the Resurrected King
The Divine Dove, who flew down from heaven above
Simply to grace me with His merciful love
Now the hope of salvation is within my reach
So away with your song of deprivation, oh raven
For now is the time for you to suffer my hymn
As I relentlessly give all glory and honor unto Him
May this sound be a torment, may your face be made grim
By the chords of a man now restored by righteousness’ blood
Because He has taken me by hand and risen me from dust to make me a king,
He has placed His Spirit within me, like placing on my finger, a ring
I am the beloved of Christ
Therefore I refuse to let you deceive me into thinking I am anything less
Oh, let this song be my shield as I sing it again and again
Now away with you raven, for you are nothing more than a foul omen.

we’re not meant to fight this battle alone
By: Jim Kellogg
(The Queer Poet)
8-16-34
for my niece, Malorie, and her legacy, “Malorie’s Place”

we’re not meant to fight this battle alone
a tired warrior’s cry
screaming in silence
crashing her soul into the world
battles fought valiantly

we’re not meant to fight this battle alone
scared
confused
wanting just one more hit
wanting just one more high

we’re not meant to fight this battle alone
the world crashing in
like the tide against the shore
eroding the vulnerable sand –
her escape, her sanctuary

we’re not meant to fight this battle alone
she wanted to be saved
by a regiment of purple winged angels
in the end
the battle was fought alone

I knew you so well.
And I know as soon as you did it,
regret flooded over you like a river in a rainstorm.
You were filled with it.
Overflowing with sorrow of all you left behind.
Your family,
Your brother,
nephews,
and friends,
are left with unanswered questions
of why.

It was a mistake, we know it was.
And I am sorry.
That you felt so much pain in your heart
that you felt it was easier to not be here at all.
To take it all away from yourself like a thief.

Except you didn’t just rob yourself,
You robbed everyone who loved you,
Of all the years of joy and happiness that they should have had with you.
And never will.

One decision, one mistake,
and yet so many innocent people now suffer
the consequences.
In one instant an entire life in the making,
lost.

We were here
But we didn’t hear you calling our names.
But were you even calling?

“I’m sorry,” send.
For what?
“Love you.” Send.
What’s going on?
No answer.

Bang, gone.
22 years all down the drain,
22 years of laughter,
22 years of joy,
22 years of pain,
22 years of growing,
And learning, and making mistakes.
Except, this mistake you will never learn from.

And I continue to ask why.
But yet, I could not be in your head,
I could not feel your pain,
your sadness,
your suffering.
So who am I to place your blame?
If I could, I would have sucked it out of you like a vacuum,
Because you deserved better.

I tried to understand,
But I cant.
I know how it feels to want to end it all.
The emptiness,
The gut wrenching feeling that you’re not good enough.
The void that can’t be filled.
To shut the lights off,
Turn off the noise.

But even so,
I still can’t justify the mess you made,
Or wrap my head around the facts.
I cant believe what you are capable of.
My wounded heart just doesn’t understand
the wound you endorsed,
At the hands of yourself,

It feels surreal,
And I feel angry.
It feels like I’m constantly drowning,
And I’m trying to come up for a breath of air,
But someone is holding me down.
I see the surface, but just I cant reach it,
I’m out of control.

Or like I’m in one of those dreams where I am trying to run, but I’m stuck in slow motion.
Or the dream where you throw a punch,
but your fist is too heavy,
And it makes you angrier and angrier.
I’m so furious,
And I want to believe you’re at peace,
But how can I when you have been taken
From everything you love?

Your beauty was just too beautiful for the world.
Your kindness was too kind,
Your generosity was too generous,
Your personality was too big,
Your passion was too passionate,
Your strength was too strong.

You were too much for this Earth to handle.
Thats why she took you from us.
It took 22 years to find out
that you were too good for this world.

You wanted to receive your halo and wings early.
When daddy said you were his Angel,
he didn’t mean it literally,
But I guess you had other plans.

Now you will forever be 22 years young.
And I will forever wonder what could have been.

Your breaking me can’t you see I don’t know why you just won’t leave me alone and let me be why you keep trying to tear me apart don’t you think you already did enough can’t you see that you already did a number don’t you get it you already broke me you fuckin destroyed me there’s not really much more you can do to me I’m all above and so much more you even took me from me cause I didn’t even know myself anymore but that’s when I should of walked out the door but not much longer I just don’t care anymore my mind and gut was telling me I had to go it was going to get really bad I had enough and was about to snap so I ended us and walked out that door cause I know I’m so much better than u made me feel u took everything away from me even my pride I’m so lucky I got my dignity back it took everything I had to find it again cause you absolutely broke me until no end I had to get away from you to find myself again cause you did everything to destroy me and take my happiness away from me I’m finally free and there is no more breaking me

Hey there pretty lady that I love so much you mean so much to me I just want to let the whole world to know your my rock,my heart,my soul,my everything you was even my back born when I had noone else even being the black sheep of the family you was the only one that didn’t give up on me or turned ur back on me you always been there to show me you cared and tell me you loved me even though I let you down sometimes and I know you have been disappointed at me thats understandable but your the only one that ever took the time to understand me and my story you never judge me you never threw me away you never turned your back on me you always stood right by my side every step if the way to show me guidance and was there to support me every step of the way you always cheered me on and gave me hope that someday I could actually be somebody never let me down you told everybody that I was your baby you told bout how dad passed to me staying with you to my battles if life to my addition you told everyone how proud you are if me and how much I have come you done so much for me and has been there through it all I just want you to know that I wouldn’t have got this far if it wasn’t for you the love I have for you is unreal and the bond we share is special but no matter what you will always have a special place in my heart from now until forever thank for everything and the love that you shared the guidance to the unconditional love the understanding me and always giving me hope your my inspiration to give it all your the next best thing to a mom aunt roc your amazing person inside and out let’s keep a secret just between you and me you can’t tell anybody noone at all but ur my favorite one of all