To someone who is too hard on themselves,

You must be so anxious and stressed. You never seem to be where you want to be in life. I know how you feel because I have felt this way, too. My older sibling was always smarter than me. As a child, he did better in school than me, and as an adult, he certainly makes more money than me. It is as though I have had this bar way above my head my whole life. And no matter how hard I work or how many times I try, I never seem to jump high enough to graze that bar with my fingertips. And yet, I never stop trying.

Throughout my adult life, I have worked weekends and nights. I have lost sleep as thoughts of work ruminate in my head, and I have pulled all-nighters just because I have felt like I needed to get more done. All too often, I find myself exhausted, stressed, and frustrated. And I have come to realize that those emotions are not helpful. I started my company, The Unsealed, 3.5 years ago, and until this past weekend, I hadn’t taken one vacation.

An opportunity to go to Disney World arose. And seriously, who can say no to Disney World? I attended shows, tried out new rides, and ate at new restaurants for three days. It was so much fun. I gave my mind a break – a moment to live in the present and enjoy the people in my life and the blessings surrounding me. I drove home on Sunday. Now, it’s Monday, and I feel refreshed and motivated. The weekend made me realize how important it is to come up for air sometimes.

For so long, I put pressure on myself and never took my foot off the gas. But that’s not healthy or productive. So, if you’re like me and push yourself very hard, I hope you learn to be kind to yourself, take breaks, and live in the moment. When you take days off, don’t think about work or whatever you are pushing yourself to do. Give your mind and your soul time to refresh, recharge and recalibrate.

Your ambition probably won’t ever go away. But what I have come to realize is that if you want to do your best in life, it’s vital that you feel your best.

Don’t measure your success with someone else’s bar. Prioritize your health and your happiness. And always appreciate where you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going.

Dear Kris,

Last year, I stumbled upon a CNN article entitled, “I have got terminal cancer. Here is why I am prioritizing travel.” The article shared how you were diagnosed at 48 years old with late stage four colon cancer. Despite the diagnosis, you remained committed to the activities that bring you joy in life, which include spending time with your family and traveling around the globe. I immediately knew I wanted to share your story with our community. I knew you would represent what The Unsealed is about: resilience, kindness, and strength. However, there was one result of meeting you I didn’t see coming..

While The Unsealed is not nearly as well-known or as prominent as CNN, you immediately responded to me and happily agreed to share your story with me. You sat on zoom with me for more than an hour and shared with me the shock of discovering you had terminal cancer. You had this proud grin on your face as you told me how you captured your wife’s heart. And you told me about the abundance of joy you experience daily by being the father to your sweet, intelligent, curious young son, Braden. But more than just your story, how you approach life’s challenges clearly came across in our interview. And that is with boundless positivity and a pure heart. When you receive a cocktail of intense chemo, you do so with a cheerful disposition and kind words to share with the nurses and doctors who treat you. You don’t approach work or everyday life with a “Why me?” attitude, but instead, you see each day as a gift to enjoy with the people you love most. You are aware of the reality of your situation, but you do not let it take away from the people and places that make you smile, as you continue to travel the world and take walks on the beach with your wife and son.

After interviewing you, we posted your story on The Unsealed in a letter to your wife and son. Then, you spoke to our community on one of our weekly zoom calls. Your zest for life and your pursuit of positivity are contagious. In the following months, I noticed I became more disciplined about staying optimistic about the challenges in my life. While starting a business is not nearly as difficult as battling cancer, it’s the obstacle I currently face. And because of you, instead of dwelling on what is going wrong, I started to look at what is going right and figure out how to lean into those tactics more. When a strategy I implement doesn’t go as planned, instead of feeling frustrated, I look for the lesson and adapt accordingly. When I interact with people, no matter how my day is unfolding, I always try to lead with kindness. The mindset you have helped shape within me has impacted my productivity, patience, and happiness. And as my company has grown, the process has become less stressful and more joyful.

Kris, when I first came across your story, I knew you would inspire so many people, but what I didn’t know was how much you would influence me.

Thank you.

Keep fighting! Keep smiling! Keep being you!

With love,

Dear Kris,
I first heard about your story on CNN. It was a most touching story about your serious illness and your love of travel with your family. My daughter, Lauren was lucky enough to be able to reach you. She wanted to interview you for The Unsealed. You were so gracious with your time. I read your words that you expressed to Lauren. I was amazed by your love for your beautiful wife and sweet son and your resiliency.
When you came on Lauren’s weekly zoom meeting I was so moved by your story. You talked about your serious illness, the chemotherapy treatments you had to endure but also about the love you have felt from your family during your journey. Thru your challenging treatments you were able to bring joy into your life by taking wonderful vacations with your family. You would not let your diagnosis stop you from enjoying life. You were able to tell us about your trips with a smile on your face. Your bravery and strength touched my heart.
Kris, your strength gives me the motivation to stay positive in the light of my own personal challenges. I wish you lots and lots of pain free quality time with your family. May you always travel the world spreading sunshine to all you encounter. As for me, I hope to continue to bask in the light of your positivity for many years to come. Thank you for being the amazing person you are and sharing your uplifting, beaming heart.

Love,
Shelley

Dear George,

You were meant to be a part of our family. After losing the dog that we had since I was in Kindergarten my mom claimed we weren’t getting another dog. But my dad convinced her to open her heart up again, and this time all roads lead to you….literally. You traveled from Georgia to Maine as a puppy. At the shelter, my parents observed how you interacted with a young girl, how you played with her, yet you were so gentle too. That’s the moment they fell in love with you and knew that they wanted to take you home. I can’t help but believe that our old dog, Lucky, had pulled some strings and guided us to you.

At first when we took you home you were timid, but slowly your sweet, sensitive, silly personality began to show through. You quickly became my companion. Every errand, every ride, everywhere I went you were by my side. Your little wet nose on my face was the first thing I felt at 6am on Saturday morning as you demanded that I get up so that you could get your cuddles in and then go back to bed, and your solid body against my leg was the last thing I felt at night before I fell asleep.

Life with you is filled with more laughter, love, and epic cuddle sessions. You give me a reason to get out of the bed in the morning. While you can’t talk, your actions communicate so much to me. Your cuddles communicate your unconditional love, your paw resting delicately on my lap and your solid body against my leg at night make me feel safe and secure. You greeting me at the door makes me feel welcome. You showing me your belly for the thousandth belly rub of the day helps me to know that you trust me. You putting your nose under my armpit or on my shoulder as if giving me a hug. You have me (and each member of our family) wrapped around your paw. We love you so much and are so grateful to have you as a part of our family.

Love,

Dear Vernon,

The odds of us crossing paths were slim, but the domino effect of connecting with you was life-changing.

When I tell people I know you, their first question is often, “How?” You played in the NFL while I was still in elementary school. You live in Texas. I have only visited the Lone Star state a few times. Our friendship came out of nowhere. It was 2017, and I was in bed randomly looking at LinkedIn when I saw a post about someone writing a letter to their younger self. I am unsure what made me read the story, but I clicked. The letter was so well-written and powerful. It was about your life story. You were the product of gang rape, and you shared your complicated relationship with your later mother. You mentioned something in that letter that you didn’t understand your mother’s reaction to her attack, but I could relate to her because I am also a survivor. So, I reached out to you to explain how my mind took time to process what had happened to me. I hoped that sharing my story would give you some clarity and peace.

You responded to me almost immediately, and I think we chatted on the phone the same night. Then, the Super Bowl was in Houston that year, and I was headed down. We met in person, and you told me you were friends with Sheryl Sandberg, the then-COO of Facebook. She had recently written a book about people who persevere and mentioned you in the book. You introduced me to Sheryl, who asked me to share my story on her website publicly. I couldn’t say no to Sheryl, which led me to write an open letter to sexual assault survivors independently. My letter changed my life. Besides freeing me from years of shame and angst, it inspired me to move to Florida and start my company, The Unsealed. The Unsealed is a platform where people can write and share open letters about overcoming adversity.

Through the years, we’ve remained friends, and you have shared your story on The Unsealed’s website and several of our weekly conversations with our community. You encourage me. You inspire me, and you believe in me.

While I know we’ll always be friends, I still think it’s crazy we even met in the first place. I rarely read articles I see on LinkedIn, if ever. And it is even less often that I reach out to its author. I genuinely believe whether it was fate, or maybe your mom up there pulling strings, or one of my late loved ones, that night that I was lying in bed skimming LinkedIn, there was a larger power play – using your story and our newfound friendship – to lead me to my purpose.

Forever grateful that the stars aligned,

Dear Mia and Cayley,
We brought you both into our lives for the same reason. We love adorable little puppies. You are both very small dogs so you very huggable. Dog daddy and I needed a little bundle of joy to shower love on and you both fulfilled that need. Mia you came first 17 years ago. As I write this letter you are laying beside me. Thats comforting. Cayley, we brought you into our home 12 years ago. Right now you are with your Dad,Alan. You both bring us so much joy.
My dear little baby dogs you are always with Daddy and I whenever we are home. Its the 4 of us in bed at night cuddling you both, making us humans feel safe and secure.
Our 2 little dogs have brought so much joy into our lives. You both calm us down when we feel anxious and cheer us up when we are sad. You make us laugh when you do the adorable things you do. You are our best medicine for a good life. Mia and Cayley I cant Imagine life without you.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy ❤️

Dear Wylie,

In 2012, I moved to Buffalo after receiving an offer to work as a sportscaster at a local station there. While I was excited about the opportunity, I was a little nervous about moving to a new city that I had never been to before my interview and where didn’t know a single soul. While I made friends quickly, within a couple of months of living there, I felt like there was a missing piece to my life in Buffalo. And that missing piece was you.

I had this strong urge to get a puppy. Besides college and a year or two before moving to Buffalo, I have always lived with at least one dog. While I searched far and wide for the perfect puppy, I ended up getting you from the same place my parents purchased your older sister, Cayley.

As soon as we met, we were inseparable. When you were a puppy, you never wanted to leave my side – so much so that you would cry when I was in the bath, and you would often try and hop in the shower with me. You never wanted to sleep alone, and somehow you managed to win the hearts of all my neighbors, so you were rarely ever home alone.

We’ve been together for ten years, and you have been by my side through many ups and downs. You’ve growled at the boys who broke my heart, and you cuddled with me every day during 2020 – a year mostly spent with just you and me because of a global pandemic. While you like to pee everywhere, marking your territory, and you try to make babies with my parents’ Maltese, Mia, I still love you so much.

You have brought so much love, warmth, and companionship to my life. You have been a part of my journey in ways I am sure I don’t even recognize. And while we have moved to three different cities and dealt with so many unexpected challenges, one constant throughout our last ten years is the love we show and have for each other.

Thanks for always having my back and giving me kisses on command.

I love you, WyWy

With lots of hugs and kisses,

To My Family,

When I was a child, kids in school tried to make me feel Christmas envy. We didn’t celebrate Christmas because we are Jewish. But I never felt like I missed out on anything. We got plenty of presents on Hannukah. Also, the holiday season usually meant a fun vacation: Skiing in Vermont, the beach in Aruba, a cruise around the Caribbean, or parties in Miami. Despite not celebrating Christmas, Christmas week was usually one of the most fun weeks of the entire year.

This year, Mom and Dad, you will be with me in Florida, and my brother will be in New York with his wife. We will have Chinese food on Christmas Day and start our shopping adventures on December 26th. That’s when the really good sales kick in. We will eat too much, and I will complain that I cannot get nearly enough work done. We will send many pictures in our group chat of the items we got exceptional deals on and of our little adventures.

Our holiday season may not have a Christmas tree, reindeer, or stocking stuffer, but like many people, the end of the year is a time for food, family, and fun. And that’s no different for us. Mom, Dad and the rest of our crazy family, I have always loved the holiday season, and that’s because of how much I love all of you.

Cheers to another year of many moments of love, laughter, and a little bickering.

With love,

The photo above shows my mom. Next to her is me, outside one of the planes at my last squadron, soaked in champagne and ice water, with a giant smile. This was part the going away tradition known as a “fini flight” and is an amazing experience that I love and treasure from my time in the Air Force. But what do these images have to do with each other?

The inspiration for this letter began at my current squadron’s holiday party. I was hanging out by the bar, admittedly a bit buzzed, with an old friend, a pilot whose name will be withheld for privacy reasons. Pilot has been in the Air Force longer than me by about 5 years, and she was drunk. She went on a rant about all that is wrong with the Air Force, and there is a lot. She was bitter and miserable, angry, and just biding her time until her 20 years so she can retire and move on. She was ranting about wanting to “wake up” me and others to how much BS there is and how we should stop caring and run for other career fields. She insisted that I did not understand how bad it was because I was not bitter and miserable about everything like her. The thing is, I actually agree with pretty much all of her critiques. Much of it I really dislike and get frustrated about. I try to make improvements where I have the authority to do so, shield my subordinates when I can, etc… but buzzed me couldn’t find the words to describe why I’m still happy and loving my job, and why I still work hard in spite of it all. Why I stay in and have no real desire to get out. I went home dissatisfied with the discussion.

Today, sober me got to think about it all. I can now put it into words. Mom, you have been through the wringer, been through things that would crush mere mortals. Life changing traumatic event after event. You are in near constant pain. If anyone on earth has a right to be bitter and miserable, it is you. But mom, you aren’t. Sure, you get down and discouraged, but overall you still have love, passion, joy. You posses this ability, and through both the way your raised me, and your example, I have learned that ability. Thank you! I still get upset and frustrated about the negative things, but I don’t let it make me bitter and miserable. Because of this, I am able to deal with the BS, change what I can, when I can; but not let it get under my skin too much. Thus I am able to appreciate the benefits and opportunities I have, enjoy the fun and incredible things I get to do, etc. I still see the negatives, but I can enjoy myself in spite of the negatives.

So, what does this all have to do with my fini flight from my last unit? well, that event occurred a year after the end of my service commitment. I could have left. I enjoyed that incredible day and tradition in spite of the negatives of being in the Air Force, because of my mom. We flew out of Tucson, up to Las Vegas, picked up some pararescuemen, airdropped them into Lake Mead, flew over the Grand Canyon, came back, I got dowsed in champagne and ice water, duct taped to a backboard, had my feet spray painted green, and got my footprints on a ceiling tile. Just one small example of the incredible experiences I get to enjoy because I don’t let the negative get to me. And I never even realized my mom taught me this until today.

Mom, because of you and this lesson, that I didn’t even know you had taught me, I am happy and successful. Thank you mom!