The photo above shows my mom. Next to her is me, outside one of the planes at my last squadron, soaked in champagne and ice water, with a giant smile. This was part the going away tradition known as a “fini flight” and is an amazing experience that I love and treasure from my time in the Air Force. But what do these images have to do with each other?

The inspiration for this letter began at my current squadron’s holiday party. I was hanging out by the bar, admittedly a bit buzzed, with an old friend, a pilot whose name will be withheld for privacy reasons. Pilot has been in the Air Force longer than me by about 5 years, and she was drunk. She went on a rant about all that is wrong with the Air Force, and there is a lot. She was bitter and miserable, angry, and just biding her time until her 20 years so she can retire and move on. She was ranting about wanting to “wake up” me and others to how much BS there is and how we should stop caring and run for other career fields. She insisted that I did not understand how bad it was because I was not bitter and miserable about everything like her. The thing is, I actually agree with pretty much all of her critiques. Much of it I really dislike and get frustrated about. I try to make improvements where I have the authority to do so, shield my subordinates when I can, etc… but buzzed me couldn’t find the words to describe why I’m still happy and loving my job, and why I still work hard in spite of it all. Why I stay in and have no real desire to get out. I went home dissatisfied with the discussion.

Today, sober me got to think about it all. I can now put it into words. Mom, you have been through the wringer, been through things that would crush mere mortals. Life changing traumatic event after event. You are in near constant pain. If anyone on earth has a right to be bitter and miserable, it is you. But mom, you aren’t. Sure, you get down and discouraged, but overall you still have love, passion, joy. You posses this ability, and through both the way your raised me, and your example, I have learned that ability. Thank you! I still get upset and frustrated about the negative things, but I don’t let it make me bitter and miserable. Because of this, I am able to deal with the BS, change what I can, when I can; but not let it get under my skin too much. Thus I am able to appreciate the benefits and opportunities I have, enjoy the fun and incredible things I get to do, etc. I still see the negatives, but I can enjoy myself in spite of the negatives.

So, what does this all have to do with my fini flight from my last unit? well, that event occurred a year after the end of my service commitment. I could have left. I enjoyed that incredible day and tradition in spite of the negatives of being in the Air Force, because of my mom. We flew out of Tucson, up to Las Vegas, picked up some pararescuemen, airdropped them into Lake Mead, flew over the Grand Canyon, came back, I got dowsed in champagne and ice water, duct taped to a backboard, had my feet spray painted green, and got my footprints on a ceiling tile. Just one small example of the incredible experiences I get to enjoy because I don’t let the negative get to me. And I never even realized my mom taught me this until today.

Mom, because of you and this lesson, that I didn’t even know you had taught me, I am happy and successful. Thank you mom!